


Confessions of an Angel

by keiko48460



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2018-04-06 13:32:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 125,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4223568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keiko48460/pseuds/keiko48460
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She may no longer be light but that doesn’t mean she is dark.  She embraces both worlds equally.  (Completely re-written)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Black Angels

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is a Maria Hill centered story. In my opinion the woman is completely underated in the movies. I am trying to follow the Avenger movie timeline with my own twists and turns. This story takes place before the Avengers movie but I am planning on having all the Avengers eventually introduced into this story. This will be eventual Maria Hill/Natasha Romanoff.
> 
> I would also like to give a big thank you to my 2 betas, Lyna Laufeyson and P_lutonium, without them this story would not be here. They have helped me greatly in its development.
> 
> PS I did make some changes to Chapter 1 so please reread it before continuing!  
> Okay well here it is...hope you enjoy it!

She peered through the darkness and stared at the park.  There was no one in the there but an older gentleman who appeared to be reading a newspaper.  She paused at the gate, the black path that was laid out before her melted into the night.  She shivered.  The warmth of the sun was now long gone and the jacket that her mother tried to force on her as she left didn’t seem like such a bad idea now.

She cut across the park every night, it was usually abandoned by now and it never gave her any unsettling feelings.  Cutting across the park cut ten minutes off her trip home but as she stared at the lone man her stomach turned, how does he even see the print in this darkness?

Sighing she stared down at her watch.  Dinner would start in seventeen minutes and if she didn’t move now she would be late, more if she didn’t cut through the park.  Her mother will be upset if she is late…again.  Her mother’s angry glare in her mind had her pushing the gate open.

She moved quickly, her cheap slip-resistant shoes that she was forced to wear while waitressing allowed her to move at a fast pace.  She was halfway across the park in three minutes but the uneasy feeling in her stomach grew as she moved closer to the man, whom was still sitting stoic on a bench.

The distinct sound of a leaf being crushed beneath a foot sounded through the park.  She paused in her movement, and stared down at her feet expecting to see a dried leaf left over from fall beneath her foot but was surprised to see nothing.  A twig snapping echoed and her head shot up trying to place the direction of the sound.

Her eyes shot wide as she saw another older gentleman in a suit and tie, flanked by two men who stood at a distance.  She froze as she watched as the man approached the other man who still had his eye on the newspaper before him.  Another chill went down her spine and it wasn’t because of the cold.  Something was definitely wrong here.  She moved to the left and hid behind a tree, steadying her breath.

She peered around the tree just as the man in the tie spoke.

“Tell me you have found her.”

The sound of a paper being crinkled sounded as the man on the bench folded his newspaper and laid it across his lap. 

“We are close.  We have tracked her to New York.  I have Greller putting together a STRIKE team as we speak.  We should have her by the end of the week.”

“You said that in Detroit,” the bite in the man’s voice was evident.

“She had help.”

“Yes, the mysterious helper, whose identity still remains unknown.  She has been playing you like a fool since she escaped one year ago.”

“She is a highly trained operative…”

“No more excuses!  She is our asset.  An asset that you said you had complete control over…”

“I will find her,” interrupted the man on the bench standing.

“The enhanced power that we gave her is one of our greatest weapons.  I want it back and under our control. ”

“I will find her,” repeated the man.                                        

She watched as the two men stared at each other, a clear but silent power struggle between the two seemed to echo through the night.  The man in the suit stepped forward and now the men were less than a foot apart. 

She watched with baited breath as the man in the suit leaned forward and embraced the man, whispering something into his ear before pulling back.  She moved back behind the tree, glancing at her watch, noting that dinner would start in five minutes.  The sound of a twig snapping at her eyes shooting wide as she stared down at her foot to see a broken stick crushed beneath her foot.

Closing her eyes she waited for the inevitable.  The men surely heard her.  They would come, and what they would do to her when they found her filled her with despair.  They were clearly not normal men.  That was not a normal conversation.  They were powerful.  Scary. Dangerous.

She waited and waited…and waited.  Finally after five minutes she gathered her courage and peered around the tree.  The men had disappeared.  There was no sign of them anywhere.  She let out a sigh of relief before letting her body fall into the tree, the adrenaline that flowed through her veins just a few minutes before gave away to exhaustion. 

She glanced down at her watch and flinched, her mother was going to kill her. If she moved quickly then she wouldn’t miss dinner entirely.  Still glancing at her watch she pushed herself off the tree and turned around to leave.  The feeling of cold metal on her forehead had her frozen.

“I really wish you wouldn’t have come through the park tonight.  I’m sorry.”

The sound of a gunshot echoed through the park. 

*******

Nick Fury was having a bad day. 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to will away the headache that has plagued his mind since he started looking through the files on his desk.  Looking down at the current file in front of him Fury felt an overwhelming urge to throw it in the air and use it for target practice—at least it would give it some use.

SHIELD was running like a well-oiled machine, and today the Council has decided to throw a wrench into it. They wanted Fury to select a Deputy Director.  He understood their reasoning behind it.  If something happened to him in the field then SHIELD would fall apart without someone at the helm.  The Council in their infinite wisdom had supplied Fury with twenty-five candidates.  The files were waiting on his desk directly after the meeting.  

That was exactly five hours ago and Fury just added the twenty-fifth file in the garbage with the rest of them.  There was nothing glaringly wrong with any of the candidates. They were all great candidates. Their testing levels were all above standard, they military careers were unblemished with variety of medals decorating their file.  But there was only one problem…Fury didn’t trust any of them.  

Fury ran his own profile on each candidate and on every single file he found a very faint, but still prevalent link to each Council member.  It became very evident that after the tenth file that the Council was trying to put one of ‘their’ people on the inside, and not just on the inside but in a powerful position.  

A knock on his office door was a welcome interruption.

“Come in.”

The door opened to reveal Agent Phil Coulson.  

Coulson paused at the door noticing the tension in Fury’s shoulders.  He approached Fury’s desk slowly trying to read the mood of his boss, which was extremely difficult, Fury after all was the head on one of the biggest spy organizations, and he was nothing if not proficient in his field.

“Boss,” nodded Coulson acknowledging him standing behind a chair.  His eyes went from Fury to the overflowing trashcan full of files then back to the man himself.  Coulson knew better than to question his boss about what was going on.  You only make that mistake once, but he couldn’t help but be curious as to what was in those files that had his boss on edge.

“Coulson,” nodded Fury indicating with his hand to the chair inviting him to have a seat.

Coulson moved swiftly as he sat in the offered seat.

“I just thought you should know that Barton and Romanoff are back.  The target was neutralized and Romanoff was able to gather all the information you asked for.”    Coulson leaned forward and placed a flash drive on the desk.

Fury nodded then leaned forward grabbing the flash drive. “How did Romanoff’s first mission go?”

“She was very fast and efficient.  Barton and her work very well together.  Placing them together was a very good idea.  She still has a hard time accepting orders but seems to be adjusting to being part of the team.”

Fury nodded.  He wouldn’t deny that bringing the Black Widow to SHIELD made him extremely nervous.  The woman was very deadly and it frustrated Fury to no end that he could not read her.  So far she was proving to be a handful.  Since coming to SHIELD she had put twenty six Agents in the medical bay, her rationale being “a difference of opinion.”

Fury knew otherwise.  It was common knowledge that Romanoff was not well liked on the helicarrier.  She alone was responsible for the death of fifty two SHIELD Agents over the past 5 years.  That is not a number that can be easily forgotten, and even with a direct order to the Agents on the helicarrier to not seek revenge against Romanoff, some Agents had acted regardless of his orders.  

After being released from medical with an alarmingly large number of broken bones they were then discharged from SHIELD.  The number of attacks on Romanoff are nonexistent now.  Fury doubted it was because of the discharges of those Agents but rather the beating those Agents received from Romanoff.  

“Good.  Keep an eye on her.”

 “Yes sir.”

Coulson started the action of standing but his eyes couldn’t help but travel to the files in the trashcan again.

“The Council wants me to appoint a Deputy Director.”

Fury noticed the curious look in Coulson’s eyes when he saw the files. Coulson was one of his most trusted Agents and Fury knew he could speak to Coulson about this new development in confidence.

Coulson sat back down in his chair looking at the files in the trash.  “You don’t agree with their choices?”

Fury sighed and leaned back into the well-kept leather, “All the candidates they supplied me with are all connected to the Council in some way.”

Coulson nodded, he understood Fury’s reluctance to hire any of them.  The Council was trying to get one of their people on the inside.  That was something that made Coulson very uncomfortable. 

“What are you going to do boss?”

Fury was silent and so, Coulson waited, knowing something would be said eventually. 

“I need someone who I can trust to do the job.  Someone with an extensive military background.  Someone who doesn’t scare easily.  I need someone the crew will respect and follow.  They need to have experience leading but know how to take an order.  But I also don’t want a lap dog.  I want someone who will question me.  I need to be able to trust them to stand up against the Council and do the right thing, not what the Council orders them to do.”

Coulson nodded along to everything Fury was saying.  The Deputy Director of SHIELD would definitely need to have all of those qualities, and more.  Coulson thought about Fury’s needs for the Deputy Director position and his mind kept coming back to the same person he knew outside of SHIELD.

Fury watched Coulson process his words.  Fury noticed the light in Coulson’s eyes as he nodded along.  It wasn’t hard to see that Coulson had someone in mind for the position.

“Who is it?” 

Coulson smirked.  Fury was always one step ahead of him.  Coulson stood and then nodded towards the computer on the other side of the desk.

“May I?” he asked, waiting only momentarily for Fury to give him the go ahead.

Partially amused, and partially curious, Fury watched Coulson type furiously on the computer before he turned towards the screen that was projected on the far wall.  Fury stood up and walked around his desk to inspect the woman on the screen.

“Captain Maria Hill,” read Fury as he examined the picture of the officer.  He couldn’t help but notice the slightly uneasy feeling that developed in his chest as he stared at her.  She was hard, if not nor borderline angry in the picture.  Her eyes were cold and her face was stern. 

“It says here she was killed in action Coulson.” Fury pointed to the big red words KIA next to her photo.

Coulson smirked at him before turning and typing away at the computer throwing more information of the screen as the Captain’s military history was displayed on the wall.  He left the computer to stand next to Fury.

“She did four tours in Iraq in the special forces.  She was an excellent leader.  Very tactical in her decisions making.  She was the first woman to every lead a Special Forces team.  She was respected but also hated by many for being a woman in a leadership position.”

Fury nodded as he listened to Coulson give him a summary of the woman in front of him.  He still didn’t understand why Coulson was giving him a run through on a dead Captain, but gave Coulson the benefit of the doubt.

“Her test scores were off the chart, the highest the military has ever seen.  She was put on leadership track fresh out of training but denied it, choosing to serve in combat instead.  Over the next couple years she moved up the rank relatively fast—faster than I have ever seen.  She was a Captain of her own squad by the age of 24.  After her 2nd tour in Iraq her squad earned the title, “The Black Angels.”

Fury raised his eyebrows at this, he had heard of this squad. 

It was well known that most of SHIELDS Agents were recruited from the military.  The crew member frequently traded stories about this notorious squad.  Many of his Agents spoke about how they were in heavy firefight and being overrun and a mysterious squad with black skeleton bandanas over their face would show up and completely destroy the enemy, often saving them in the process.

Agents would whisper about the teams’ accuracy, every shot was a headshot even under heavy fire.  The team moved very fast, faster than they had ever seen.  Many crew members on the helicarrier were alive because of the Black Angels.

“I heard of this team.  The crew frequently talks about them.  I looked them up in our system and discovered they were all killed in combat.”

Coulson nodded at this.  He too heard the other Agents talk about the Black Angels.  It was hard to miss. After a moment he returned to the computer and typed something in, bringing an OP report up to the screen.

“The team was ordered to infiltrate a base on the outskirts of Afghanistan.  The military believed that the enemy was trying to create nuclear weapons.  Their mission was to eliminate the targets and disable any nuclear weapons.  The team infiltrated the base easily but when they moved to the lower levels of the base one of the scientists had set off one.  It was a chemical weapon.  High levels of gamma radiation…”

“Gamma?” asked Fury very surprised.  “How did I not hear about this?”

“It was very hush hush.  The military destroyed most of the files pertaining to the op.  The military then listed all the members of the Black Angels as ‘killed in combat.’  They informed their families that they were killed in firefight in Iraq.”

“And how to you know about this?”

“My brother, Matthew Coulson was part of the Black Angels.”

Silence fell across the room.

Fury knew Coulson’s brother was killed in combat two years ago but did not know that he was part of this elite group.

“I didn’t believe the military when they informed my parent’s that my brother was killed in action.  Something smelled off.  So I did my own digging.  It took me over a year but I found out what really happened to him.”  

Fury stepped up to the screen reading through the op, now very intrigued.

 “Tell me.”

Coulson nodded and typed on the computer once again to bring up a handful of documents.

“I found a couple files that were not destroyed.  As you can see by these reports, the team survived the initial blast.  They were transported to a secure base in Afghanistan.  The high levels of gamma radiation were infecting their cells.  It was a very painful death”

Coulson ignored the sympathetic look in Fury’s eye at the thought of his brother dying so painfully.

“The trail went cold after that.  But I never stopped looking.  A couple months later I came across this document,” Coulson brought up another report.  “As you can see it indicates that there was a survivor and that they were moved to an unknown blacksite location.”

“Even with SHIELD’s intel and resources it took me six months to find the black site.  When I arrived to the site it was completely abandoned.  There was,” paused Coulson grimacing, “a lot of destruction.  But I was able to find a couple documents at the base.”

“All the files and computers at the site were fried but I was able to find these…” Coulson paused as he typed again to bring up some documents.  He clicked on the first one and enlarged it.

“This is a report sent from General Thaddeus Ross to an unknown account.  I tried to find out where it went to but the account had a very large firewall and encryptions attached to it.  Not even SHIELD’s best technicians could break it.  The report says that the “female test subject 152 had escaped from the black site and that he had his people searching every city looking for her.”

“I was one of the few people outside of high ranking military members that knew that the Captain of the Black Angels was in fact a woman.  My brother made it known, whenever he was home that he did not like how the team frequently had to hide their Captain’s gender in order to protect the team.  He respected and cared for her very much.  So I made it my mission to find her and do whatever I could to protect her.  Matt would have wanted that.” 

Coulson paused the emotions in his voice was evident as he spoke of his brother. 

 “The rest of the documents confirm that Captain Hill is very much alive.  I found a couple classified documents suggesting that the military was conducting experiments on her.  They believed that Captain Hill’s survival of the Gamma exposure, which resulted in her heightened strength and speed, could be reproduced.   They believed she was the key to the creation of super soldiers, much like Captain America.”

Fury stood in silence as he stared up at the picture of Captain Hill.  This was certainly very interesting but most of all very disturbing.  The reports in front of him suggested that this decorated Captain was subjected to heinous acts by the U.S. Military, right under his nose.  They clearly did everything in their power to keep this off of SHIELD’s radar, and this made Fury very nervous.

“She is alive?” asked Fury.

“Yes.”

Coulson moved to stand next to Fury staring at the files on the screen.

“You know where she is.”

Coulson didn’t answer, refusing to confirm or deny Fury’s statement. 

Fury’s eyebrows rose.  Fury had never seen this side of Coulson before.  He seemed reluctant to give up this information.  

“You are suggesting that Captain Hill become the Deputy Director?” tried Fury again.

 Coulson nodded at this question, “she is everything you need.”

Fury stepped forward and stared at the reports before him.   Coulson’s words _, “she is everything you need,”_ echoed in his mind.  He read the reports for a second time before turning to Coulson.

“I would like to meet her.”

Coulson nodded before stepping forward, his eyes hardening before speaking.

“I want your word that you won’t conduct any tests on her.”

Fury didn’t outwardly react to Coulson’s demeanor or words but internally he was quite surprised by the complete change in the man before him.  This was a Coulson he did not recognize.  He had always considered Coulson his right hand man.  Coulson always followed orders, but here he was, giving him an ultimatum.

Fury nodded.

“She will not be subjected to any tests.”

Coulson didn’t relax nor acknowledge his words.

“There are still high ranking military officials looking for her.  She will need protection from them.”

Fury nodded at this.  This could be easily done.  He would make in known to all branches of the military that Captain Hill was a member of SHIELD and no longer their concern.

“Done.” 

Coulson leveled Fury with a look before speaking, his voice cold and hard.

“You might have everyone else in SHIELD believing that we are better, that we are good, but you and I both know we have done things off the books that weren’t right or honorable, all in the name of peace.  So let me tell you something right now,” Coulson paused making sure Fury was watching his every move. 

The stiffness in Fury’s shoulders at his words told Coulson that Fury was very much paying attention and that he did not like Coulson’s tone, at all.  Coulson paid no mind though and stepped closer to Fury looking him dead in the eye. 

“If you make one step backwards, one slip up, give me one reason that you may hurt her…you will regret it.  I will not hesitate.   If there’s a way out there to hurt you, I will find it,” Coulson paused giving Fury one last look, “and I think you know more than anyone that I do not make idle threats.”

The silence was uncomfortable, a silence between two men that for the first time in a long time displayed their true selves to one another.  The powerful, dangerous men that they kept hidden beneath their well-trained persona were on display for both to see. 

“You have my word Phil.”

Coulson relaxed at Fury’s words.  His body no longer displayed the aggressiveness that it had just a few seconds prior, instead he slipped back into the calm, passive, stoic as ever, Agent Coulson.

“She is in New York, living under the alias Katie Warren.”

“I want to meet her.”

“When?”

“Now.” 

*******

Coulson parked the SUV in front of a very rundown apartment complex.  He ignored any look that Fury gave as he quickly opened the door.  The sound of sirens and booming music from the occasional passing car echoed through the street.  Fury got out of the car and followed Coulson up the steps into the apartment complex.

Fury was taking in his surroundings and almost found himself bumping into Coulson, whom stopped suddenly at the top of the stair.  Coulson seemed to be frozen at the top of the stairs.  Fury watched as Coulson turned his head and his eyes narrowed to a lone black SUV parked down the street.  The windows, even the front, were so darkly tinted that you couldn’t see if anyone was in the vehicle.  Coulson stared at the SUV for another split second before moving forward and opening the door.  Fury gave a passing glance at the SUV over his shoulder just as the door shut behind him.

Coulson led Fury down a hallway and then to a flight of stairs.  They walked up the stairs in silence.  They finally reached the top floor and Coulson pushed through the door and turned right, leading Fury down a dimly lit hallway. 

The sound of a baby crying, music being blared, and TV’s followed them until they reached the door at the end of the hallway with the number eleven on it.  

“Stand off to the side,” nodded Coulson, “She won’t open the door if she sees you.” 

Fury lifted his eyebrow at the comment but nonetheless stepped aside out of the line of sight of the peephole and the door and placed himself up against the wall.  

After a long moment Coulson lifted his hand and knocked.  

Fury raised his eyebrows at the sound of scuffling and then a loud bang, and then an equally as loud ‘fuck’ echoing through the door. 

Ignoring Fury’s pointed stare, Coulson cleared his throat.  It certainly didn’t sound like a future Deputy Director of SHIELD was on the other side of that door.  The sound of multiple locks being unlocked could be heard as the door opened just slightly, the chain still in place.  The face of a woman with short black hair, wearing dark sunglasses appeared.   

“Phil,” smiled the woman on the other side.  “What are you doing here?”

To anyone else they would see a smiling woman excited to see a friend at the door.  But Coulson knew better.  It was an act, a very good one at that.  

“Katie,” he nodded, smiling back.  “I was in town and figured I would stop in and check on you.”

The smile was still on the woman’s face but Coulson could see the tenseness in her shoulders, she was on alert. They stared at each other for a few more seconds before the door was promptly shut in his face.

Coulson stared at the closed door in confusion and tried to ignore the look Fury was throwing at him. He opened his mouth to talk through the door, but the sound of the chain on the door being unlocking was heard and then the door opened.

“Come on in Phil,” said the woman walking away from him and the around the corner.  “Shut the door on your way in.  I have dinner in the oven that needs to come out.”

Sighing in relief before motioning for Fury to follow him, both men walked into the home as Coulson closed the door behind them.  The two silently walked down the hallway.

“I hope your hungry Phil,” her voice carrying through the apartment.  “I have lasagna just coming out of the oven.”

Coulson motioned for Fury to stop and stay around the corner.  As he replied, “I am actually starving.”

He moved around the corner with a smile on his face, “I would love some….” Coulson was greeted with the barrel of a gun pointed at his head.  

There stood Captain Hill with one gun to Coulson’s head and another pointed at the corner of the hallway.   

“Make one move Phil and I will blow your head off.”

“Capta…” Coulson tried, but he was cut off.

“Don’t Phil! Tell the man around the corner to come out slowly.”

Coulson gulped but very slowly not making any sudden movements motioned for Fury to come from around the corner.  

Hearing everything that happened, Fury quickly had his gun in hand but the look in Coulson’s eyes as he stared down at the gun told him to put it away. He re-holstered his gun, not liking this situation at all.  He rounded the corner slowly with his hands in the air and was now staring down the barrel of a gun.  

Captain Hill growled in Fury’s direction before turning on Phil but also not letting Fury out of her sight. 

“What the fuck is going on Phil!  You bring this man into my apartment!  Did you finally sell me out?  You better have more than just you two of you if you plan on bringing me in because I will kill both of you and then kill as many as those fuckers as possible!  I will die before I let them get their hands on me!”

Fury watched the situation in silence hoping Coulson could calm her down before they both were killed.

“Captain Hill this is Nicholas J. Fury, my boss, and Director of SHIELD,” hands still in the air Coulson nodded his head towards Fury. 

“He’s here to offer you a job.”

Captain Hill tensed and as she stared at Coulson beneath her glasses before turning to Fury.

“SHIELD?”

Fury tensed at the growl in her tone and the way her finger twitched on the trigger.  He stared at her for a few more moment, his eye watching her trigger finger before answering.

“Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division.  We are a very much classified force that protects the world from threats.”

Captain Hill’s finger twitched on the trigger again, clearly no believing a word that the Fury said before she turned back to Coulson.

“You work for this SHIELD organization?”

“Yes” nodded Coulson his voice calm and steady.  “Director Fury recruited me right out of West Point.”

Captain Hill and Coulson seemed to have a silent staring match for minutes and Fury got the feeling that this was a common thing between the two.  Captain Hill was clearly trying to determine if what she was being told was true and Coulson was trying to look as open and honest as possible.

Finally Captain Hill dropped her guns slowly until they were pointed at the ground.  Fury didn’t feel relieved.  The Captain’s body language told him that just because she wasn’t pointing her gun at him any longer didn’t make the situation anymore safe.

“I swear to fucking god if this is a trap I will kill you both in the worse possible ways,” Captain Hill all but growled at them before nodding her head towards the table, indicating for them to sit.

Coulson gave an audible sigh of relief before looking at Fury with a forced smile as they both made their way to the table.  

Captain Hill sat at the end of the table as far away from the two as possible and Fury instantly noticed her hands were on her lap no doubt still pointing the guns at both Coulson and himself.  

“I refuse to work for the military anymore,” said Captain Hill breaking the silence.

“We are not the military,” pointed out Fury.

Captain’s Hill’s tensed at Fury’s words and didn’t speak for quite some time. 

 “Why did you bring this man into my house Phil,” she hissed.  “You know that I want nothing to do with that life anymore.  You just blew the cover that I have spent the past 4 months creating.”

Coulson shot the woman a disbelieving look at her verbal attack.

“If I noticed the government issued SUV down the road then I know you have too.  You have been made and you know it.”

Fury watched the Captain stiffen at Coulson’s words but her silence afterwards and the fact that she didn’t check the window told Fury that she had noticed the vehicle.

Coulson nodded at her acknowledging her silent agreement with his observation.

“Like I said, he has a job offer for you and I think you should take it,” said Coulson.  “He can protect you from the people looking for you.  He also agreed that there will be no testing.  You can only run for so long Maria.”

The use of her first name had her frozen.  The only movement was small tick in her jaw.   Finally, she turned to Fury.

“How are you able to protect me from the highest ranking military members of the United States?”

“Simple,” answered Fury.  “I rank higher.”

Silence overcame the room. 

“What is the job?”

Coulson let out an audible sigh of relief at her words. 

Fury and Captain Hill completely ignored him as they continued staring at each other, a clear power struggle at play. 

“I want you to be Deputy Director of SHIELD, my second in command.”

The Captain gave a disbelieving laugh at this, “you cannot be serious.”

Her laugh quickly died off as she realized Fury was continuing to stare at her, his face showing no amusement.  Captain Hill looked at Fury and then to Coulson.

“Is he serious?”

“You will find Captain Hill,” said Fury crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. “That I am always serious.”

“You want me to be the Deputy Director of an organization that I know nothing about?”

“Yes,” answered Fury leveling her with a look. 

Captain Hill stared at him for a few seconds before she repeated his earlier action and leaned back in her chair.  She lifted her arms and placed both guns on the table, making sure to keep them pointed forward.

“You know nothing about me.”

Coulson cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably in his chair as both Captain Hill and Fury brought their gaze to him.

“I have showed Director Fury all the files and have updated him about your condition as well as your dealing with the U.S. Military.”

Captain Hill tensed at his words and Coulson shifted in his chair more as she brought her gaze from an uncomfortable Coulson then back to Fury.

“So you know what the files say,” growled out Captain Hill to Fury before pushing herself from the table abruptly and standing. 

“Those files,” she spat out, placing her palms on the table just millimeters from the handles of the gun.  “Only tell part of the story.”

Fury leaned back in his chair placing some distance between himself and the angry Captain.

“We all have a story Captain and I am certainly not asking for yours.  I am asking you work for me.  Help me and in return I will help you.”

Captain Hill stared at him for a few moments before sitting back down in the chair. 

Fury watched as the Captain rolled her shoulders and as the angry Captain before him began to turn into something else entirely.  Walls went up, her shoulders became rigid and suddenly she became bigger, more imposing. 

“When do I start?”

Coulson’s words echoed in Fury’s mind as he stared at the formidable woman.

_“She is everything you need.”_

Fury smirked. 

“Now.”

 


	2. S.H.E.I.L.D

Maria ignored the look Fury gave her when she came out of the apartment with just one bag draped over her shoulder.  When Fury told her to gather up all her possessions, he probably didn’t think that all her possession fit in a small bag and only took her 5 minutes to gather.

She followed Coulson and Fury to the black SUV parked outside her apartment complex. Her eyes scanned her surroundings as she followed them.  She noticed two more SUV’s parked a little down the street and of course the one at the other end of the street that had been casing her apartment for the last couple days. 

Her finger’s itched for the pistol holstered to the back of her jeans under her jacket.  She instead settled for going over the weapon’s she had on her body in her head, reviewing each one.  Another gun was holstered on her ankle.  Her knives were strapped to her arms in their holsters.  She was ready to use any one of them at a moment’s notice.

Coulson opened the back door for her and must have noticed her eyes lingering on the SUV’s down the street.

“I called in a STRIKE team just in case they were needed.  I didn’t want the men in the other SUV thinking they could take you before we left.”

Maria nodded at his words.  That was a concern for her as well as she followed the men out of her apartment building.  Maria moved to get into the car but stopped as the sound of a car door opening reached her ears.  She looked down the street to see a boot hit the ground from under the car door. 

She watched as the boots stepped forward until the full body of the man was revealed.  He was a smaller man, around 5’7 and his muscular arms were on display in his tight black shirt.  Even from this distance she could see the gun holstered just over his black cargo pants.  His hair like always was slicked back, and his beard was neatly trimmed with his signature cocky smirk present on his face.

Maria stiffened and her hand instantly reached for her gun that was holstered to her back.  She didn’t pull it out as there were children playing in the street.  The man noticed her action and raised a mocking eyebrow at her, his smirk growing.  She could hear Coulson and Fury both calling out orders into their coms. 

“Facial recognition is running,” called out Coulson.

“Not needed,” growled Maria her eyes narrowing at the man before her.  That cocky smirk on his face will forever be engraved into her mind.  “His name is Captain Emil Blonsky.  He is one of Ross’s henchmen.”

“Snipers are in position,” called out Coulson.

“Tell them to light him up.  If he wants to play games then so can we,” ordered Fury.

Maria heard Coulson relay the order to the snipers and she watched as four red dots appeared on Blonsky’s chest.  The man looked down at the red dots then back up to Maria before raising his hands slowly, his cocky grin however was still firmly in place.

“Inform STRIKE team that we are moving out.  I want Delta team to follow us.  Alpha team will stay here.  Keep him lit up until we are a safe distance away,” ordered Fury.

Coulson relayed the message over the coms and then opened the passenger door and entered the SUV.  Fury soon followed as he got into the driver’s seat. 

Maria hadn’t moved a muscle her eyes were still trained on Blonsky.  She always told herself if she ever saw this man again she would put a bullet between his eyes, and here he was, only 30 feet away from her.  Her finger itched on the trigger of her gun still holstered to her back and she had to fight every urge not to pull it out and follow through on what she wanted most. 

“Hill get in the car, “ordered Fury from inside the SUV. “Now!”

Maria growled but nonetheless removed her hand from her side arm.  She never took her eyes off of Blonsky as she moved to get in the vehicle.  Placing her foot on the running board of the SUV and stood up on to it to look over the car door.  She stared at Blonsky one last time, the sound of “Hill!” from an aggravated Fury in the vehicle was barely heard through the raw hate that seemed to be ringing in her ears.  Taking a steadying breath she moved her arm out towards Blonsky and extended her middle finger out to him. 

Immediately after she lowered herself into the SUV but not before seeing Blonsky’s cocky grin turn into a snarl and his nose twitch in anger at her hand gesture.  It was now Maria’s turn to smirk as the SUV lurched forward and sped down the road away from the danger.

The car ride started in silence.  The sound of people talking in Coulson’s coms could be faintly heard.

“When I give an order I expect it to be followed Hill,” bit out Fury his hands tightening on the steering wheel as he staring forward. 

Maria stiffened at his words and fought every urge to lash out at the man.  If he knew what Blonsky did to her…the fact that Maria run full speed at him and snap his neck with her bare hands was a feat in her own.  Thankfully, Fury didn’t know her story, he knew only bare minimum, the black and white version, not the one dripping in red.

“Understood,” bit out Maria recognizing that this man after all was her superior officer.  “Sir,” she added at the end. 

If Fury noticed the delay in “sir” he didn’t comment on it.  They continued in silence for the next 45 minute drive to an air strip.

Fury parked the car next to an aircraft she had never seen before.  

Maria followed Coulson and Fury out of the SUV and then up the open hatch of the aircraft.  Following their lead, she strapped herself into an open seat across from them.  As she looked around the cabin Maria realized she did not recognize any of the equipment.  She had only been out of the military for close to two years but as she looked around she felt like it had to be ten.  The technical advances on this transport were well beyond anything she has ever seen when she was serving.

“We call it a Quinjet,” called out Fury getting her attention.  “You will find that SHIELD has a lot at their disposal, including the most advanced equipment available.”

Fury was giving her a look with his one eye, gauging her to see if she was impressed or not.  Deciding not to give him much she shrugged her shoulders.  Then began looking around the cabin trying to absorb as much information as possible—at least that is what she told herself, it had nothing to do with trying to avoid Fury’s calculating gaze.  

The Quinjet moved fast and a short time later they were landing on a ship. The hatch opened and she unbuckled herself to follow Coulson and Fury down the hatch.  Her eyes were instantly greeted with a busy airstrip on a very large warship.  She couldn’t help but take in everything around her.

A loud siren sounded and Maria had to fight the reaction to grab her gun.  She watched as workers started to scramble around her.  Turning, she found Fury missing but Coulson waiting for her.  

“You might want to follow me inside.  In a few minutes it’s going to get very hard to breathe out here.”

The sound of machinery working at the side of the boat had her looking over the side.  Water was bubbling up rapidly.

“Is this a submarine?”

“No,” Coulson stated a smile on his face.

Maria gave him a disbelieving look before looking back down to the water—that is when she saw it, the large propeller making its way out.

“Like I said, we better get inside,” yelled Coulson from behind her.

Maria stared at the propeller as she felt the ship start to rise out of the water.  She didn’t think Fury was lying about advanced equipment, but this…she was not expecting this.  Stepping back from the ledge she nodded towards Coulson before following him into a door.  

Coulson led her through the large corridors.  She followed him around a few turns before stopping outside a glass door.  Maria peered inside to see what looked like the command center to the ship.  She could see Fury barking out orders to the crew before turning to see them.  He barked out another order before turning and walking towards them. 

He opened the door and walked by them and then down the hallway.   He made it half way down the hallway before calling out.

“Hill with me.”

Maria ignored the stares she was receiving as she followed Fury down a set off hallways.  She walked silently behind Fury her eyes scanning everything, storing every small detail into her mind.

Fury stopped outside a door and pushed a few buttons.

“Put your hand on the scanner.”

Maria only hesitated slightly before placing her hand on the scanner.  She watched as a red light flashed behind her palm a few times, followed by a beep.

“Welcome, Deputy Director Hill,” the computer’s voice echoed up from the pad and then the door opened.  Taking her hand off the keypad she followed Fury, whom already started moving into the room as soon as the door opened.  

Once in the room Maria was greeted by the sight of a very large office.  A large desk with triple monitors was in the middle of the room.  Looking around she found multiple screens on the wall displaying information on the ship.  

“As Deputy Director your office and room is the closest to the command center.” Fury was currently leaning up against the desk as he stared at her.  “Your room is directly behind me,” motioning to the door at the end of the room.  “It is also keyed into your hand print.”

Maria looked around at everything and trying to absorb all the information being thrown at her. She started to fight the overwhelming panic that bubbled inside her.  There was too much information to store at once.  

Fury must have noticed.

“Sit,” said Fury indicating to the glass table with 6 chairs surrounding it. 

Maria once again didn’t move at his request and rather waited for him to sit himself at the table first before following suit.  She placed herself farthest away from him.

Fury leveled her with a look before speaking.

 “I want you to understand that your position as Deputy Director is on a probationary period.  If I don’t think you can do the job, then I will remove you from it.”

Maria nodded at his words.  It was understandable that her position here was on a probationary basis, she was after all not confident she could be what Fury needed her to be.  Maria never failed, she refused.   Stubbornness, her CO used to say, but in this instance stubbornness wasn’t the reason she couldn’t fail.  The thought of going back out into the world unprotected against Ross and his henchman was all the motivation she needed to succeed at SHIELD. 

“I also want you to know that should your position here be terminated, SHIELD will still continue to protect you,” said Fury almost as if he had read her mind.

Maria stared at Fury for a few seconds trying to gauge the honesty in his statement and his body language.

“Why?”

Fury straightened in his chair and answered, “The principal of SHIELD was founded upon was pure…Protection.  One word.  Sometimes to protect man against himself, others times to protect the planet from global extinction…but the belief that drives us all is the same, whether it’s one man, or all mankind.  They’re all worth saving.”

Maria processed Fury’s words in her head.  She couldn’t help but wonder how many times Fury has repeated those exact words.  The ease in which it came off his tongue allowed her to assume he has said it more than a few times.  But, just because it has been said more than once doesn’t make it any less true, Fury seemed to generally care for her wellbeing.

Maria nodded towards Fury, “thank you.”

Fury nodded back and then cleared his throat.

“I promised Agent Coulson before agreeing to take you on that we would not run any tests on you or your abilities but I have to ask,” said Fury indicating with his hand to her face, “will the glasses always be worn?”

Maria grimaced at his question but nodded in confirmation, “My vision is still perfect.  In fact it is enhanced due to the Gamma exposure but my eyes were tampered with at the blacksite…they are not pretty…” Maria’s voice trailed off before finding her voice once again.  “I think you understand more than most,” she paused to nod to his eyepatch, “that it is just easier to cover our scars.”

Fury gave a stiff nod at her words. 

“Are they okay to wear in combat?”

Maria nodded.

“Phil got them for me a few months ago.  I always knew he worked for the government and asked if there was any way he could get me something that could last in a combat situation.  He brought me these babies,” she paused to tap the glasses, “a few months ago.  They are bullet proof, have an activated night vision and most importantly cannot be punched or kicked off.”

Maria turned her head and pushed a button at the back of her glasses to show Fury that they clipped into what looked like a sticker on her temple before clicking the sunglasses back into place. 

Fury nodded and made a mental note in the back of his mind to question Coulson as to where he got the glasses and who designed them. 

“Okay now that that’s settled I have decided that in order to make the transition into SHIELD easier for you, you will be doing combat training with the new recruits-”

“I assure you that I do not need training-”

Fury quickly cut her off and leveled her with a look that let her know that this wasn’t a suggestion, rather an order. 

“You haven’t been in a combat situation in two years.  I understand you are deadly.  I gathered that when I was staring down the barrel of your gun but you need to learn the way SHIELD does it.  This isn’t the Marines anymore.”

Silence was his only answer so Fury continued.

“Training is 0800 to 1200, Lunch is 1200 to 1300 hours and then I want you in here,” he paused to nod to her desk, “I want you learning everything on SHIELD.  I have granted you level 9 clearance.  I would like you start learning about the helicarrier, it’s Agents, our assets and the threats that we have marked around the world…and some you could say, aren’t from around here.”

“Really?” repeated Maria disbelief evident in her voice.

“Like I said Hill, this isn’t the Marines anymore.”

***

_“Captain!!”_

_“Cap help!”_

_“Where in the fuck are the taking us Captain!”_

_“It burns!  It fucking burns!  Help Cap!”_

Maria woke up with a start.  Her body was covered in sweat as her chest heaved, trying to gather as much air as possible to stop her lungs from burning.  

Looking around the medium sized room she was greeted with metal walls and the soft hum of propellers spinning.  Looking over at her SHIELD issue phone it read 0600 hours.  Her alarm was set to go off in the next 30 minutes.  Sighing she pushed herself up from the bed and swung her legs over the side.  She knew she wasn’t going to get any sleep regardless if she laid down in bed until her alarm sounded.

Standing up she stretched then reached over to her nightstand and grabbed her glasses, snapping them in place before making her way over to a large metal locker next to her bed.  The locker itself had many shelves all of them labeled as to what clothes were what.  She had pajamas and t-shirts on the top.  A couple pairs of socks in a drawer.  Three full-blown cat suits, which she noticed, was the standard tactical gear for woman in SHIELD.  Looking to her right she found a shelf labeled ‘training.’  Reaching forward she pulled out a pair of black shorts and then a dark grey shirt with no sleeves with SHIELD written on the front.

Maria couldn’t help but notice the no sleeve shirt.  Looking down at her arms, that were currently hidden under her sweatshirt and then to the training shirt, she had no doubt that she was about to cause a stir on the training floor today.

Grabbing the required clothes she headed to the bathroom to clean up.  

Maria took as long as she possibly could in her morning routine and noticed it was still only 0700 hours. She walked out of the bathroom in a pair of SHIELD issued sweatpants and hoodie, her training gear on underneath.  The rumbling of her stomach informed her that she had definitely missed dinner last night and if she didn’t eat something before training she would no doubt pass out.  

Maria sighed in frustration.  She had no idea where the mess hall was in this place.  She pushed the button next to her door opening it and was instantly greeted with a smiling Phil Coulson.

Maria shook her head at the man before her, it was 0700 hours and the man was already in a suit.

“I thought I would show you where the mess hall is and then after, escort you to training.”

Maria nodded and mumbled a “thanks,” before following him down the hallway.

They both walked in a comfortable in silence as he led her to the mess hall. It was already full of Agents talking over their breakfast.  She ignored the way the room seemed to quiet as she and Phil entered.  She followed Phil to the breakfast bar and filled her plate up with food.  She would need the energy if she were to make it through the day.  

Phil led her to a table at the far end of the mess hall as they both sat down and began to eat their breakfast in comfortable silence.  She ignored the stares she was receiving and the whispers around her.  

“That’s the new Deputy Director…”

“She doesn’t look like much…”

“Where do you think the Director found her?”

“Why is she wearing glasses?”

Phil and her continued to eat in silence before she couldn’t take it anymore.

“So Phil, what do you do here?”

She watched as Phil wiped his face with a napkin clearly trying to hide his smile behind it before clearing his throat and nodding towards the back of the room.  She followed his gaze to see a man and a woman sitting in the back corner eating their food.  

“I’m the handler of those two, Agent Clint Barton and Agent Natasha Romanoff.”

She watched as the two ate in silence. The small redhead was playing with her food not really interacting with the man at her table.  She watched as the man picked up a raspberry and smirked at the redhead, who was still playing with her food.  The man threw the raspberry across the table at her but the small woman quickly dodged it while simultaneously kicking the man under the table.

The redhead continued playing with her food as if nothing had happened and the man laughed holding his shin.

“They look like a handful.”

Phil nodded at them but smiled at the two’s antics.  

“They are, but those two together are the deadliest Agents SHIELD has, especially Romanoff.  She is ex KGB and was just recently acquired by SHIELD.  She is more formally known as the Black Widow, a very deadly assassin that is responsible for more than a hundred deaths of high profile people over the past 8 years.”

“Really?”  

She was impressed by that.

 “You will actually see her at training.  She is the hand to hand combat instructor for this batch of recruits.  Fury put her in charge hoping it would help her feel like part of the team and help her interact with others.”

“She doesn’t play well with others?”

The silence that greeted her answer had Maria bringing her gaze back to Phil.  She could see a clear frown on his face as he stared at Agent Romanoff. 

“Phil?”

Phil jumped at her words and brought his gaze back to her.  She watched as he seemed to be picking his words carefully before speaking.

“Read her file and you’ll understand.”

That was the end of that conversation.  

Phil looked down at this watch then back up at her.

“You ready for me to show you the training room?  We have about 15 minutes until 0800.”

Maria nodded and stood up and Phil followed.  They both cleared their trays and began to walk out of the mess hall.

He led her down a couple hallways and then up a flight of stairs.  It was maybe a five minute walk before he indicated with his head towards a pair of double doors at the end of the hallway.

“That’s the training room.”

Maria couldn’t help the nervousness she felt as she stared at those doors.  Two years suddenly seemed like a very long time without any training.  

“Like riding a bike, right?”

She forced a smile on her face as she glanced over at Phil.  

Phil smiled back and nodded as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.  

“You will do great.”

Nodding at his words Maria took a deep breath, focusing her brain before walking towards the doors.  Pushing them open she walked into one of the largest training rooms she had ever seen.  There was weights and equipment, four sparring rings and off to the far corner was a gun range and what looked like a virtual reality room.  

She saw about twenty-five people standing by a sparring ring wearing their training gear and stretching.  Deciding it was now or never, Maria started to walk towards them.  She stayed on the outskirt of the group but within a close enough distance to hear their conversation.  

“Shit, is that the new Deputy Director?”

“Why is she training with us?”

“I wouldn’t mind hitting that, if you know what I mean?”

Rolling her eyes at the last comment, Maria started taking off her sweatpants.  Folding them up and setting them off to the side.  She did the same with the hoodie.  The conversation around her died down to nothing.  

It should never be this quiet in a training room but it was, and Maria knew exactly why.  Sighing she sat down on the floor and began stretching, ignoring the looks she was receiving.  

Maria knew that her tattoos on her arms would cause a stir.  She wasn’t ashamed of them in the slightest; in fact she was proud of them.  She had full sleeve tattoos on both arms going from her wrist all the way up to her shoulder and then down her back.  There was no coloring, just black and grey.  In large Italic Font cascading down both her arms was the writing, “The Black Angels.” Accompanying the text was a large grim reaper on her right and then the angel of death on her left, surrounding them were tombstones, eagles, bullet casing and if someone looked close enough,  they would see names of her team as well.      

Every member of the Black Angels had the same tattoos.   Coulson’s brother, Matt Coulson was the one who actually thought of it.  Claiming it would be a bonding experience.  The team was all for it and Maria went along to make them happy.  They were a family, she remembered Matt telling the team, and these tattoos would make sure that they never forgot that.  

Every day when she stares down at her arms she is thankful for Matt’s idea of getting tattoos.  Now that her team was gone, her tattoos were the only thing she had to remember them by.  The military had destroyed all her possession when they took her to the black site and told her father she was killed in combat. Everything she had, pictures from their first mission together, the stupid inappropriate birthday cards they made her every year—everything was gone.  

A couple months ago Coulson gave her a framed picture of her team from his brother’s backyard BBQ around 4 years ago.  She almost cried when he gave it to her.  The picture now sat on her night stand in her room. 

“Okay recruits on your feet!” A booming voice sounded in front of Maria pulling her out of her nightmare clouded mind.  The tears that threatened to spill from her eyes were quickly blinked back.  

“I want ten laps around the track.  Once you are finished report to the firing range.”

The recruits all got up and proceeded to the track that surrounded the training room.  Maria got up to join them but a voice stopped her.

“Commander Hill, a word.”

Maria turned around to see the very man who just barked out the order to them.  His SHIELD issued shirt had the word trainer on his right breast.  She walked towards him and stood in front of him.  The whole situation had Maria on edge.  Technically she was this man’s superior officer but in order to learn how SHIELD really works she understood that for now, this man ran the show.  

“Sir.” Maria nodded towards him.  

The man’s piercing green eyes seemed to be sizing her up.  She watched as he looked her over, his eyes lingering on her glasses then down her arms.  Maria heard a sharp intake of breath.

“The Black Angels?”

Maria lifted an eyebrow at the man.  What was she supposed to say to that question?  What was the man getting at?

“Are you Captain Hill of the Black Angels?” The man asked clarifying his question as he stared at her with wide disbelieving eyes.

Maria stared at the man in front of her trying to gauge why he was asking her this.  It was well known throughout her military career that she was not well liked among the men.  Her team respected her but everyone else thought she was a joke.  On more than a few occasion’s her team was pushed to the side because their commanding officer was a female.

It was a dangerous game the other squads were playing and Maria did not like that her team was frequently put in danger due her being a female Captain.  On their second tour, Maria ordered her team to wear bandanas covering their face.  The team did not like the reasoning behind it but accepted the order from their commanding officer.  

When they were called out on to missions for support or rescue the other soldiers did not know a female was running the show as their faces were hidden.  Back at camp they had their own tent which Maria never left unless called out on a mission.  Once the Black Angels started getting a name for themselves everyone just assumed Captain Hill was a man.  

“Is that a problem?”

Her tone suggesting that if he did, then it is best he did not speak on it.

The man must have sensed her tone as he stiffened at her words.  

Maria herself was tense as well.  She assessed the man, making sure that if he did start anything she would surely finish it.

The man quickly held out it his hand and Maria had to stop every instinct in her body not to fling him over her back.  She looked down at the offered hand in question before looking back up at him.

“Agent Grant Ruddy.  I served in Iraq in 2012.  I am here because you and your team rescued my platoon from heavy gunfire in Baghdad.  We would have all died if you and your team didn’t show up.  My children still have their father thanks to you and your team.”

He was thanking her.  This was a new experience for Maria.  Not wanting to blow the man off she reached forward and shook his hand, nodding at him.

Agent Ruddy seemed to sense that she was uncomfortable with the situation.  He cleared his throat and nodded to the recruits finishing their second lap around the training room.

“Director Fury instructed me that you would be training with us over the next couple weeks.  I understand that you are my commanding officer…”

“Agent Ruddy,” interrupted Maria.  “Consider me just another recruit.  I assure you I won’t hold it against you.”

Agent Ruddy nodded at her words before smiling.  

“Well in that case.  Commander Hill, give me 10 laps.”

Maria smirked at him before turning to start her run around the gym.  Her enhanced hearing allowed her to hear the man mumble to himself behind her just before she started to actually run.

“The Captain of the Black Angel’s is the new Deputy Director of SHIELD.  Shit just got a whole lot more interesting.”

***

Maria was had her hands on head as she gasped for breath as she finished her ten laps.  

She was out of shape, she knew it, but it didn’t stop her from still finishing one lap ahead of everyone else, even after giving them all a three lap head start.  Due to the Gamma exposure she was now faster than normal.  

The scientist that had run the tests on her often spoke around her and she often had overheard them talking.  By their calculations she was not as fast as Captain America but in a race she would certainly give him a run for his money.  

Maria grabbed a towel off a rack next to the finish line and wiped the sweat off her neck and face.  She avoided eye contact with Agent Ruddy, whom was currently looking at her with wide eyes and mouth agape.  

Before her run she considered slowing down, not showing all her cards to the Agents.  But after about halfway through her first lap she decided against it.  She needed to show the recruits and the fellow Agents on the ship that she was a force to be reckoned with.  

The recruits finally finished.  All of them were staring at her with the same expression that Agent Ruddy had. Maria continued to ignore the stares as she threw the towel around her neck and walked to the gun range.  

“Did you see how fast she was?”

“Of course I saw it I was running right next to you, idiot…”

“How was that even possible?”

The whispers followed her until finally they all reached the gun range.  Agent Ruddy, whom finally seemed to snap out of his stupor, started to boss them around.  

“Okay,” he called, getting everyone’s attention and most importantly shutting them up. He un-holstered his weapon and set it on the table.  

“This is an M9A1, SHIELDS standard issue side arm.  As you can see it looks like a standard M9A1 but you will find that this one is more accurate, packs more of a punch and the rounds are armor piercing.  This is not your standard side arm.”  

He paused to indicate towards a table in front of the gun range.

“You each have a weapon on the table that is disassembled.  None of you will be able to shoot your weapon today until you can assemble your weapon in under sixty seconds.  Are all of you familiar with this gun and how it is assembled?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, good.  Each one of you stand in front of your weapon and do not start until I tell you.  Like I said, you have sixty seconds to assemble your weapon.  If your weapon is not assembled in sixty seconds then you will stay at the station until you can complete the task in the appropriate time.  When your side arm is assembled, put the gun on the table and then press the red button in front of you.  This will stop the timer.  Your time will then be displayed on the chart.”

Maria looked down at the button and then up at the computerized chart on the wall.  It was labeled one through twenty-six.  Maria looked down at her station and noticed she was on station seventeen.

Maria stared down at the pieces in front of her.

“Just like riding a bike,” she mumbled to herself hoping that her muscle memory would help her through this task.

“Ready”

“Yes sir.”

“Go.”

Maria moved quickly.  Her left hand grasped the slide with the bottom facing up and the muzzle pointing toward her body.  Her right hand then grasped the barrel assembly with the locking block facing up. Her index finger then pushed in the locking block plunger while her thumb was placed on the base of the locking block.   She quickly inserted the muzzle of the barrel assembly into the forward open end of the slide. At the same time she lowered the rear of the barrel assembly by slightly moving the barrel downward.  The locking block fell into the notches of the slide assembly.   

Getting more comfortable she moved faster.  She slipped the recoil spring guide into the recoil spring and then inserted the end into the housing. At the same time, she compressed it and lowered the spring guide until it was fully seated onto the locking block cutaway.

Moving even faster now she used her left hand to grasp the slide and barrel assembly, with the sights up and her fingers wrapped around the slide assembly to hold the recoil spring and guide in place. She quickly aligned the slide assembly guide rails onto the receiver assembly guide rails. She quickly pushed the slide rearward while pushing up on the slide stop with her thumb.   She then locked the slide to the rear while maintaining upward pressure on the slide stop.  Rotating the gun in her hand she listened for the audible click which indicates a positive lock before putting the gun on the table, she pressed the button and then out of habit raised her hands.  

The other recruits were still assembling their weapons.  Some of them stopped assembling their weapons and were looking at her with wide eyes.  Maria looked over at Agent Ruddy, who was also looking at her with wide disbelieving eyes.  Looking around she found that most of the recruits were still on the locking block which is one of the first things you do when assembling the gun.  

Were the recruits really that slow?

Maria’s eyes dragged up to the monitor to see her time.  She couldn’t help the widening of her eyes in surprise at seeing her time.

**25 SECONDS**

A time like that was just unheard of and to be honest she was moving a little slow wanting to make sure she assembled it correctly.  She refused to stand in awe at her time, she could do better and she wanted to make sure that everyone watching her knew she could.  

Grabbing her gun she walked away from the table and proceeded to the gun range.  She waited for the recruits to finish assembling their weapon from afar.  She watched as only seven of them finished their weapon within the appropriate time.

Agent Ruddy cleared his throat, once again having to pull himself out of the shock that Commander Hill seemed hell bent on putting him in.

“Good work.  Mitchell, Rodriguez, Gaddy, Krupp, Collins, Davison and Bowens, grab your side arms and go stand next to Commander Hill.  The rest of you are pathetic!  Don’t move from this station until you can show me you have assembled your weapon in less than sixty seconds.”

Agent Ruddy turned his back on the rest of the recruits and preceded the gun range.  He gave Maria a questioning look as he passed by her but did not say anything.

“Okay.  I want you to all get a feel for how the SHIELD’s standard issue M9A1 differs from the military’s standard issue.  Line up.”

The recruits and Maria lined up in front of the table.  There were 2 extra clips on the table in front of her.  Setting her side arm next to the clips Maria’s eyes traveled down the gun range to see three targets.  

“As you can see you each have three targets in front of you.  The first one is at 50 yards, the second is at 125 yards and the third is at 175 yards. None of you will be allowed into the field until you can unload an entire clip of kill shots into the three targets.  Kill shots will be counted as stomach, heart and head, if you hit any other spot on the target, it will not count.”

“Do you understand?”

“Yes sir!”

“Good.  Place your safety gear on and take your time. This is not a timed trial. This will be a learning experience for all of you.  Most recruits will master this stage in about a week, so don’t be discouraged if you have trouble.”

Maria stepped forward and put on her ear protection.  

She weighted the gun in her hand and checked her clip before aiming down the barrel.  Maria first focused on the target at 50 yards away before loosely lining up the dots on it.  She then changed her focus to the front sight and lined it up with rear sights onto the head of the target.  

Taking a deep breath she centered herself before she slowly squeezed the trigger, keeping her focus on the front sight and keeping her hands as stationary as humanly possible.  The recoil from the gun was quite strong but Maria held it steady.  Adrenaline was pumping through her veins as she lowered her gun to see if her bullet found its mark.  

Sure enough, 50 yards away was a perfect bullet hole through the head.  

“Yup, just like riding a bike.”

She smiled to herself before lining up her sights again and unloading her clip in rapid succession, each bullet finding its mark.  She quickly changed out the clips and then levelled her sights on the 125 yard target.  She squeezed the trigger slowly and watched the bullet sale through the target's head.  Gaining confidence she took up her sight and just like before she quickly emptied her clip into the target’s head.  

Changing out the final clip, moving with a practice ease Maria took her stance and fired at the 175 yard target.  There was no test shot.  She didn’t stop to see if the first bullet found its mark.  Instead, she unload the whole clip in rapid succession at the target.  As the last bullet sailed out the barrel of the gun Maria watched as it sliced through the paper with the rest of her shots, directly between the eyes of the target.  

Three targets.  Forty-five perfect head shots. Not bad.

Setting her side arm on the table and then removing both ear and eye protection Maria pressed the button to her right.  Her paper targets started to move towards her quickly.  One by one she slowly unclipped them.

Agent Ruddy was helping a recruit at the far end of the gun range whom was still working on the 50 yard shot.  

She approached him slowly not wanting to startle him due him not being able to hear her because of the ear protection he had on.  She waited off to the side of the gun range as he finished up helping the recruit.  He turned around to no doubt check on the other recruits progress but she caught his attention before he did.

Agent Ruddy eyed her questioningly as she handed over her marks.  Taking off his ear and eye protection he eyed each target critically, his eyes going wide at the perfect headshot on each target.

Maria watched as his eyes went from her, to the targets and then back to her.

“Where do I go now sir?”

Her question seemed to snap Agent Ruddy out of his daze.  She watched as he set her marks on an empty table and then indicated with his head to the empty sparring ring at the end of the gym.  

“You’re done with me Commander Hill.  Romanoff will be finishing up your training.”

Maria looked at the empty sparing ring in confusion.

“Nobody is over there sir.”

Agent Ruddy nodded before reaching into his pocket and grabbing his phone and dialing a number.  As he waited for someone to pick up on the other end he explained himself.

“I told her she didn’t need to show up for at least a week, possibly more.  I didn’t think any of the recruits would be at her station until then.  Hell, it took Barton, the best marksmen on this ship, three hours to do what you just did in 5 minutes.”

He paused as the person on the other end finally answered.

“It’s Ruddy.  I need you in the sparing ring.”

…                   

“Yes I remember what I told you but Commander Hill is done with all her stations.”

…

“Okay, I will tell her.”

Agent Ruddy looked up at her.

“Agent Romanoff will be here soon.  She told me to tell you to go ahead and stretch and warm up.”

Maria nodded at his words as she went to turn to walk away towards the sparring ring.

“Commander Hill.”

Maria stopped and turned towards Agent Ruddy.

“I look forward to working with you sir,” said Agent Ruddy with nothing but respect in his eyes before turning  around and walking back to assist his recruits at the firing range.

***

Maria was halfway through her stretches when she saw Romanoff walk into the gym.  Romanoff didn’t even give her a passing glance as she watched her walk to the end of the training center towards Ruddy.

Maria continued with her stretches as she watched out of the corner of her eye as Romanoff and Ruddy spoke.  Maria started to work on stretching out her arms as she glanced one more time in their direction.  She saw Ruddy pointing towards her time on the screen while Romanoff was inspecting her paper targets.

As if sensing her gaze, Romanoff looked up from the paper targets making eye contact with her.  Green eyes assessing her critically.  Refusing to back down Maria held her gaze.  She had a feeling that Romanoff would test her both today and in the future but she needed Romanoff to know that she wasn’t intimidated by her, like the rest of the Agents on this ship.  Romanoff must have noticed this because she raised her eyebrow at her and a smirk began to form on her lips.

Maria would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t find Romanoff incredibly sexy.  The woman exuded a sense of superiority, as if she knew she was better than most and wasn’t going to hide it.  But Maria wasn’t naïve enough to classify Romanoff as just sexy, she was also very deadly—making for a dangerous combination.

Maria did not have to speak nor interact with Romanoff to know this about her.  The woman carried herself with a level of grace and beauty that would put most supermodels to shame but at the same time she was alert and aware of every detail going on around her.  

She watched as Romanoff set the paper targets to the side, saying something to Ruddy before walking towards her, her eyes never leaving Maria.  

Maria’s heart pounded in her chest as she watched Romanoff stalk towards her.  It was in that moment she realized that this is what prey must feel like when it knows it is being hunted, the uneasy feeling in the pit of its stomach, adrenaline coursing through its veins.  Watching the predator’s movements as it circled you, looking for any weakness it can exploit.  As it hungrily stares you down, just waiting for the right moment to pounce.

“Hello Commander Hill, my name is Natasha Romanoff.”

Her voice was raspier than she thought it would be and although she spoke almost perfect English, Maria could tell it wasn’t her first language.

“Maria Hill.” She nodded to Romanoff.

Maria was almost four inches taller than Romanoff but for some reason she still felt as she was the one being looked down upon.

“Well Commander Hill you seem to be full of surprises.”

There was a slight twitch in Romanoff’s lip as she said that.  

“Congratulations on being the fastest SHIELD Agent to make it through the weapon’s portion of training.  I don’t think I have ever seen Agent Ruddy at a loss of words before.” Romanoff smirked at her before her eyes raked down her body pausing to stare at her arms before meeting Maria’s eyes again. “You are obviously ex-military.”

Maria stayed silent as she listened to Romanoff’s words, stiffening ever so slightly at the ex-military comment.  Squaring her shoulders, she made herself as big as possible. 

Romanoff didn’t even blink an eye at her.  In fact she actually smiled up at Maria.  

“Definitely ex-military, Marines?”

Maybe it was because Romanoff intrigued her or maybe it was because she wanted to see her reaction but either way Maria answered.

“Special Forces.”

The only reaction she received was a slight rise in one of Romanoff’s perfectly manicured eyebrows.

“Interesting.”

The two stood in silence for some minutes before Romanoff finally broke it.

“Well I am not going to waste your time or my own running you through drills.  Let’s see what you‘ve got Commander.”  

Romanoff indicated towards the empty sparing ring behind them.

Maria followed Romanoff’s lead and slid between the ropes of the ring.  The two met in middle of the ring.

“You going to take the glasses off?”

Maria shook her head.

“They stay on.  Always.”

Romanoff shrugged at her words.

“Okay then, show me what you got.”

And with that Romanoff attacked.

Maria blocked the impending assault as best she could, but she hadn’t anticipated Romanoff’s fluidity and skills. They began to circle each other.  Maria went on the defense trying to get a feel for Romanoff’s fighting style.  

Romanoff was fast, very fast.  Her punches and kicks were a blur; each one with a decent amount of.  But still, Maria felt as though Romanoff was holding back.  Romanoff went on the offensive again and Maria purposely let a punch sneak past her defense and clip her jaw.  It hurt like hell but it certainly answered her question, Romanoff was holding back.  

Working her jaw, making sure nothing was broken, Maria all but growled at her.  

“Don’t insult me Romanoff.  If you hold back anymore, I will put you on your ass.”

And with that she attacked.  Maria wasn’t going to hold back on this woman, she could handle her, she hoped. 

Romanoff blocked all of the punches and kicks that were directed at her but Maria had enough force behind them that with her every block Romanoff was pushed back until she was up against the ropes.  

Maria moved faster now.

Romanoff blocked a kick directed at her side but left the right side of her body open and Maria capitalized on it.  She landed a very good punch to Romanoff’s shoulder.

A small “oomph” left Romanoff’s lips as the punch landed.  Maria went to land another combination but seeing an opening Romanoff quickly rolled out of the way of the attack as she put some distance between the two.

Maria and Romanoff were breathing heavily as they stared at each other.  Maria watched as Romanoff stared down at her right shoulder, rolling it ever so slightly, before staring back up at Maria with a new spark in her eyes.  

The two circled each other again.  Romanoff attacked first and Maria could barely keep up as Romanoff landed a pretty good combo to her ribs.  But Maria wouldn’t back down as she then went on the offensive.  Whatever Romanoff couldn’t block she dodged, the woman was very fast.  

The two traded punches and kicks, even grappling on the ground a few times over the next 30 minutes, by the time the two finally separated they were both covered in sweat and out of breath.  Maria was currently sporting a bleeding nose and Romanoff a busted lip.  

The two circled each other again, neither woman willing to back down.  Maria’s arms twitched from exhaustion but it didn’t stop her from going on the offensive again.  She was backing Romanoff into the corner, not allowing her to escape.  

Romanoff seemed to realize she was in trouble and made a last ditch effort.  Grabbing Maria’s forearm she leapt into the air practically running up Maria’s body.  

Out of the corner of Maria’s eye she saw Romanoff unsheathe a knife from her leg as the woman’s thighs close around Maria’s head.  The momentum from Romanoff’s body had Maria slamming into the mat, knocking the wind out of her.  

Romanoff was sitting on her chest staring down at her.  The feeling of cold metal against Maria’s neck stopped her from fighting back.    

For a several seconds neither one of them moved, except from the rapid rise and fall of their chests as they both gasped for breath.

Maria watched as Romanoff smirked down at her, the knife against her neck flexing ever so slightly.  The deadly glint in the woman’s green eyes told Maria that Romanoff was as deadly as Phil said she was.  Maria moved her left hand ever so slightly and she watched as Romanoff felt the prick.  She watched as Romanoff looked down with wide eyes at the knife firmly gripped in Maria’s hand, the one Romanoff kept hidden on her belt, was now placed directly over Romanoff’s liver. 

 “Stalemate,” said Maria softly being careful of the knife at her throat.

Maria watched as a small smirk formed on Romanoff’s face. 

“Well, you certainly are full of surprises Commander Hill.”

Maria couldn’t help but smirk back.

“I could say the same about you Agent Romanoff.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!


	3. Catching Fire

“Director Fury have you selected a new Deputy Director yet?”

“I have.”

Fury stood motionless in the middle of the room as the he stared around at the computerized men and women council members.

“What candidate did you choose?” The council men on the far right asked impatiently. 

“I have elected to not choose from the candidates you supplied me with.”

There was an outcry of protests around him as he each council member tried to speak over the other.  Fury let the onslaught continue as The Council members continued to berate and question his decision.  It took a few minutes for The Council to realize that Fury was not responding to them before they became quiet.

Fury leveled them all with a stare as he tried to control his temper.

“The candidates that you supplied me with were all Deputy Director material except for one small problem.” Fury paused.  “Every single one of them was connected to you in some way.”

The council members all opened their mouths to no doubt defend themselves but Fury had enough.  He slammed his  hands on the table in front of him and leveled them all with a glare.

“As long as I am director of SHIELD I will not allow this council to pull strings from the inside.  What you all attempted to do would have compromised SHIELD and everything it stands for and I will not allow it.”

The silence that greeted Fury was music to his ears.  After several minutes of silence one of The Council members finally spoke up.

“Who have you chosen?”

Accepting that was the closest thing he would get to an apology Fury stepped forward and pushed a few buttons on the screen in the middle of the room. With a flick of his hand he sent Maria Hill’s file to each council member.  Her file was now displayed in front of each them.

“Captain Maria Hill. Age 30. Marines-Special Forces.  As you can see by her tests scores, they the highest the military has ever seen.  Captain Hill completed four tours in Afghanistan and Iraq.”

Fury pushed another button on the display and sent The Council members her last op.

“Her squad, The Black Angels, was the most successful squad in military history.  Two years ago she was ordered to infiltrate a base on the outskirt of Afghanistan where the United States believed the enemy was producing nuclear weapons.  When clearing the building her squad was exposed to a weaponized chemical bomb which gave off high levels of Gama radiation.  Captain Hill was the only survivor.”

Fury pushed another button on the display and sent The Council everything he found that wasn’t destroyed by the military.  It wasn’t a lot but it was enough to get an idea of what happened.  

“Now, we only have these to go off of as the US military has destroyed all their files pertaining to Captain Hill and her team.  But the few documents you have in front of you paint a very disturbing picture of the US military.  As you can the military declared Captain Hill and her team as killed in combat.  Captain Hill being the only survivor was then moved from to a blacksite location in Texas.  Over the next six months Captain Hill was subjected to heinous experiments by this man…”

Fury then sent The Council a profile of a man that Fury hated to his core.  This man in Fury’s opinion was the epitome of evil. 

“This is, General Thaddeus Ross.  General Ross believed that Captain Hill’s survival of the Gamma exposure, which resulted in her heightened strength and speed, could be reproduced.  General Ross believed, and very much still believes that Captain Hill’s biology is the key in the production of super soldiers.”

“From what we have gathered from these documents,” Fury paused to flick a few medical files to each council members screen, “General Ross and his team of doctors believed they were very close to reproducing a super solider serum.  But before it could be perfected Captain Hill somehow escaped from the black site.  Without Captain Hill at his disposal General Ross, against the recommendations of his researchers, continued with his research to create a super soldier serum.  Last year as you all remember, General Ross’s lead scientist Bruce Banner was exposed to the same levels of Gama that Captain Hill was one year prior, but with catastrophic results, resulting in who we now know as the Hulk.” 

The silence in the room was defining as the council member all absorbed the information being thrown at them.  Fury waited a minute before accessing the helicarrier’s video surveillance system and flicked the footage of Hill’s first day of training over to The Council members. 

“As you can see, she is fast, very fast,” said Fury as they watched Hill pass by the new recruits as if they were running still.  The screen then cut to the footage of Hill assembling her gun and then her trial at the gun range.  “She assembled her SHIELD issued firearm in 25 seconds and completed weapons training in 5 minutes.” 

The screen then cut to the footage of Hill and Romanoff sparing, the council and Fury watched as the two traded punches and kicks at lightning speed.  “She is also the only person on this ship that can last in the ring with the Black Widow.” 

“Captain Hill’s mere presence has already boosted the crew’s morale.  The crew is talking.  Her identity as the Captain of the Black Angels and her tactical abilities that she revealed today in training is spreading like wildfire through the ship.  The Black Angels were credited in saving a lot of lives over their four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.  Many crew members on this ship are here because of Captain Hill and her team.”

“Given time Captain Maria Hill will become one of the best Agents SHIELD has ever seen.  She may be isolated, unbalanced even, but I believe with the right push she can be exactly what we need.”

“You believe?”

“War isn’t won by sentiment, Director.”

“No,” said Fury shaking his head as he stared up at the Council members, “It’s won by soldiers.”

***

_She was stripped naked and on her back.  The cloth tied around her head and over her mouth made it difficult to breathe.  The metal frame of the bed was digging painfully into her back.  Her legs were spread and strapped to the bed, her arms strapped above her.  The straps were tight as they dug painfully into her wrists and ankles.  She could feel the blood trickling down her arm as they cut into her skin._

_The smell of peppermint oil under her nose burned and her eyes watered.  She knew it was meant to increase her sensitivity for what was about to come and to also keep her from passing out._

_She looked to the right to see a control box that was hooked into the far wall socket.  The two wires leading from the control box were lying next to her bed waiting to be hooked up to her body.  The one wire already had a wooden insulated handle.  This led her to believe that they were going to create a current flow though her body.   The two electrodes would maximize her pain.  She stared at the lone wire wondering where it would be placed.  The more sensitive the spot the greater the pain._

_It was then her eyes came to rest on a bowl of water and inside a soaking steel wool pan scrub.  Her stomach turned and she closed her eyes, trying to fight the vomit from coming up her throat.  She took a steadying breath through her nose to calm herself.  She could not vomit in this position.  She couldn’t move and gag would insure that she would choke to death on her own vomit._

_It took a few moments to get her breathing under control and her stomach to settle before she was able to open her eyes again.  She turned her head again to see the steel wool pan scrub sitting in a bowl of water.  She has heard of this type of torture.  The wire would be attached to the pan scrub and then inserted “inside”.  It was after all one of the most sensitive parts on a woman’s body._

_The lights suddenly shut off and the door crashed open.  Her head turned quickly and she had to squint to see the form of a man standing in the doorway.  The dim light coming from the hallway gave the man an eerie presence.  Most likely planned._

_“Captain Hill,” said the man, his voice had a distinct accent.  She couldn’t place it.  “General Ross says that you are in need of a little persuasion.”_

_Rage consumed her as she stared at the blacked out figure of the man.  She pulled on the restraints, the sound of the metal creaking under her movements echoed through the room._

_The man laughed at her action._

_“They told me you were strong.  The bed and restraints are pure titanium.  You might bend them but you won’t break them Captain.”_

_The man shut the door and the room was engulfed in complete darkness.  The sound of his boots hitting the floor coming closer to her bed sounded off the walls.  They finally stopped right next to the control box._

_“I believe you know what is about to happen Captain,” said the man.  He paused as the distinct sound water dripping on the floor filled the void of silence.  The scratching sound of the metal being wrapped around the pan scrub had her fighting the restraints again._

_“Yes you know exactly what is going to happen.”_

_That is when she felt the water droplets.  It started on her chest and made its way down, landing on her stomach…then her hip.  A rough hand gripped her hip firmly._

_“Don’t fight it Captain.  It will only hurt worse.”_

_She screamed out to him in rage, her screams muffled into the gag as she felt a knee being firmly planted on her other hip, pinning her onto the bed and few seconds later…pain._

_“Yes I would imagine that would hurt very much,” said the man removing his hand and knee from her hip.  The electrode was placed exactly where he wanted._

_She felt tears running down her face.  She tried to move but any movement had her wincing as pain shot from her center._

_The man tinkered by her bed for a few minutes and then he went silent._

_“Are you ready Captain?”_

_She tried to talk through the gag but it just came out muffled._

_“What was that?” asked the man condescendingly.  He reached forward and moved the gag down to her chin.  “Are you ready to play by the General’s rules Captain?”_

_She took a deep breath before letting out a weak chuckle._

_“Fuckkkk…youuu,” she choked out._

_The man laughed at her words before reaching forward and moving the gag back in place._

_“You have spirit Captain.  I will enjoy breaking it.”_

_The sound of a switch being turned on sounded.  Her body instantly contracted at the pain that stretched through her lower body and up her back._

_The small electrical surges that came from the grounded wire in the man’s hand created a small light.  The man held the grounded wire up by his face and it let out just enough light for her to make out a well-trimmed beard surrounding a menacing smirk._

_“Let’s start, shall we?”_

_The light moved to her body quickly and then there was nothing put pain.  Her body surged from the bed as her muscles violently contracted.  The sound of her screams, even muffled echoed through the room._

 Maria screamed as she shot forward in her bed.  Her stomach turned and her hand shot up to her mouth hoping to stop what was coming up.  She moved to the bathroom quickly and reached the toilet just in time as she emptied her stomach into the bowl.  She heaved into the bowl for a few minutes before her stomach was completely empty.  The dry heaving continued for another minute before she was finally able to steady herself.

She rolled to her right and placed her back against the glass shower door.  Her chest was heaving and her sweat covered back slipped up and down on the glass door with every breath.  She leaned her head back against the shower door and stared at the ceiling. 

“I am not there…I am not there,” she whispered to herself.  “They can’t touch me anymore…I am safe…I am safe.  I am safe.” 

She laughed a little at how ridiculous she sounded.  Phil told her a while back that he used coping statement’s to help with his nightmares.  He told her it helped him convince himself that his nightmare wasn’t real.  He suggested she try it. She did and even though she doesn’t believe it works she still continues to do it.  It’s all she has.    

“Computer what time is it?”

“It is 0300 Commander Hill.”

Maria took a deep breath and nodded to herself.  She couldn’t sleep.  She knew if she shut her eyes she would just fall right back into that nightmare.  No…she refused to go back to sleep.  She refused to see that smirk again.  To feel that pain. 

She shakily got to her feet and threw on her workout gear.  She snapped her sunglasses in place and walked out the door.  The gym would be empty at this time of night and she had some rage that she really needed to get out on a punching bag.

A few minutes later she made her way to the gym.  She pushed open the door expecting to hear silence but the distinct sound of fists being thrown into a punching bag reached her ears. 

Her brow furrowed, who would be up this early?

She followed the sounds across the gym.  She rounded the sparring ring to see a sweaty Natasha Romanoff in sweatpants and a sports bra furiously punching the bag.  Maria watched her for a few seconds before speaking.

“I thought I was the only person crazy enough to be here at 0300.”

She watched as Romanoff halted her punches, practically freezing in place at her words.  Romanoff gave the bag one final powerful blow before turning to Maria.

“This is the only time I can get a good workout in without being bothered,” said Romanoff quirking her eyebrow.

Maria grimaced realizing that she just “bothered” Romanoff during her workout.

“Okay well…I just wanted to see who else was here before I started my workout.  I came to work the bags for a bit.”

Romanoff smirked at her before nodding.

“Have a good workout Commander.”

Maria’s lips twitched just slightly. 

“You too Agent Romanoff.  Sorry for interrupting,” and with that she moved to the bag next to Romanoff. 

The sound of Romanoff going back to the bag erased any nervousness she felt about working out in front of the woman.  The woman was all business and Maria appreciated that.

Maria’s eyes trained on the bag in front of her and she let everything else fall away.  She started a good rhythm of punches.  She bounced on her toes, circling the bag warming up.

After about fifteen minutes her punches became stronger.  She no longer circled the bag and instead worked on her power.  She landed a hard right hook to the bag before pausing, her eyes closing as she fought to regain her breath.  The darkness surrounded her and _that_ menacing smirk appeared in her mind. 

Maria growled and opened her eyes and let loose on the bag.  With every swing she gave everything she had, as if she were trying to fight off the memory itself.

**_“You have spirit Captain…I will enjoy breaking it.”_ **

Maria’s rage kept building as she continued punching the bag, even harder now.

**_The sound of a switch being turned on and an electrical current being started and then the distinct sound it made when it touched her body.  Her muffled screams echoing through the room._ **

She closes her eyes trying to will away her screams as she goes at the bag even harder now.

**_“She isn’t breaking sir.”_ **

**_“I need her broken in order to build her up.”_ **

**_“May I suggest something sir.”_ **

**_“Yes Blonsky.”_ **

**_“She is a proud woman sir.  Perhaps breaking her through other means…would work.”_ **

Maria’s eyes shot wide and she pummels the bag with everything.  The sound of the bag ripping isn’t heard as the memories become too much.  She can’t physically stop herself even if she could.

**_She was tied to the bed again.  The distinct sound of a zipper being pulled down…_ **

Rage consumes her and she pulls her fist back and with all her might she punches the bag.  The bag tears open and it is ripped clean off its chain landing ten feet away, its contents spilling onto the ground.  Maria stared at the broken bag on the ground as her chest heaved.  Her arms collapsed to her sides in exhaustion.

“Why do I get the feeling that you held back in our sparring session Commander?”

Maria whipped her head around at the sound question to see Romanoff staring at a smirk on her face but her eyes were cautious.  Maria watched as Romanoff stared from her to the broken bag then back to Maria.

“Can’t sleep?” guessed Romanoff.

Maria placed her hands on her hips and stared up at the ceiling but not before nodding at Romanoff’s question.

“Night terrors, right?” asked Romanoff not waiting to see Maria’s acknowledgement of her question.  “I get them too.”

The vulnerability Romanoff’s voice had Maria bringing her gaze back to her.  Romanoff shifted uncomfortably under Maria’s gaze.

“Did you try Coulson’s famous ‘coping statement’?” asked Romanoff smirking clearly trying to lighten the mood.

Maria was too exhausted to stop the chuckle from escaping her lips at Romanoff’s question. 

“He give you that speech as well?”

Romanoff nodded crossing her arms across her chest.  “During my reprogramming I frequently suffered from night terrors.  Coulson being my handler tried to help the best he could.  He frequently spoke about coping statements and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

“Sounds like Phil,” nodded Maria, “they work for you?”

“No.  Not in the slightest.”  Romanoff scoffed.  “But don’t tell Coulson, he thinks they help,” she added quickly after.

Maria shrugged.

“I won’t tell him that they don’t help you if you do the same for me.  I don’t need him worrying either.”

“Deal.”

Maria sighed and rolled her neck back and forth and stretched her shoulders.  “I am going to hit the showers.”

Romanoff nodded before going back to her bag.

Maria reached down and grabbed the broken bag and started dragging it to the end of the gym.  She only made it about ten feet when she heard Romanoff speak again.

“You know why I think Coulson’s coping statements don’t work on us?”

Maria stopped and turned to stare at Romanoff over her shoulder.

“They help Coulson convince himself that the nightmares aren’t real.  That they are just a figment of his imagination.  But it’s different with us, isn’t it?” Romanoff paused, her haunted green eyes boring into Maria.

“It isn’t our imagination playing tricks on us.  We can’t convince ourselves that they aren’t real because they happened.  They are real.  The difference between us and Coulson is that when he wakes up, his nightmare ends—ours never leave us.” 

*******

Maria entered the locker room and headed straight for the showers.  The SHIELD woman’s locker room had a few single shower stalls and an open shower room with about fifteen shower heads scattered around the room.  Maria decided on the open room.  The gym was empty besides Romanoff and the thought of being enclosed into the small stall made her stomach turn.  Peeling off her clothes she threw them into her bag.  Looking around making sure the locker room was indeed empty before reaching up and taking unclipping her sunglasses. 

She made her way into the shower room, choosing the one at the far end of the wall.  She reached forward and turned on the water, for a few seconds she mulled over the idea of taking a nice soothing hot shower.  Making her decision she turned the knob all the way to the left as freezing cold water sprayed from the nozzle.  This was exactly what she needed.  A hot shower was just too comforting and the replacement of hot and enjoyable with frigid and painful was exactly what her body craved.

Entering the shower, her body clenched as the cold water splashed against her.  The numbing and the prickles of pain danced across her skin as her mind began to wander.  Romanoff’s words echoed in her mind. 

“ _The difference between us and Coulson is that when he wakes up, his nightmare ends—ours never leave us._ ” 

Did she make the right decision to come here and work for SHIELD?  She knew it wasn’t the US military but the similarities of the two organizations had her on edge.  She could have maybe dealt with the loss of  her team and the betrayal of being used as a lab experiment for surviving but what happened after…that was something she could never forget.  She escaped, eventually but she didn’t leave that place whole.  A part of her died in that place and it was replaced by something else entirely.   

The anger and hate that coursed through Maria’s body every second of every day since losing her team and then only to be tortured by the same men she fought side by side with….it was all consuming.  The pain, the betrayal, everything they did would always be with her.  Her team screaming out in pain for days, weeks even.  Matt lasted a month before she lost him.  Every single one of them called out to her, begging her for help.  Those screams will forever haunt her mind.  Was it wrong for her to want to make them pay for everything that they had done? 

Both Coulson and Fury assured her that they were different, that they were the good guys and she believed them when they said that.  But if she was being honest with herself she didn’t know if she was the good guy anymore.  After Maria escaped from the black site an internal battle with herself ensued. 

She knew there was still some good in her.  It always took the shape of her as a nineteen year old Private who believed sacrifice, saving lives and fighting for her county. 

But the bad was also there, taking the shape of a twenty-nine year old Captain strapped to a gurney screaming out in pain,  haunted by the death of her team, with an overwhelming thirst for revenge.

In that moment, as the freezing water pounded down on her shoulders, she wasn’t sure who was winning—the good or the bad. 

***

When Natasha entered the locker room she was surprised to hear the shower running in the rarely used open shower in the back part of the room.  The gym was still empty so that meant the Commander must be back there.  Natasha was never shy about nudity but she noticed in the first couple months on the SHIELD helicarrier that all the female Agents and crew members all showered in the personal stalls.  Not wanting to shake the boat she followed suit, but never really understanding why the woman of SHIELD were so self-conscious. 

Grabbing her bag out of her locker, she pulled out a towel, shampoo, conditioner and body wash.  Natasha gingerly slipped out of workout gear.  To be honest she was still sore from the spar with the Commander a couple days ago.  It has been a very long time since she had a spar like that, and her muscles ached in the best possible way.

Natasha began to walk towards the back shower room and as she rounded a corner she was greeted with a breathtaking sight.

There in all her glory was Commander Hill.  Her back was turned to Natasha as her head was down and her hands were braced against the wall as the water roll down her back. 

Natasha eyes followed the flowing water and was surprised to find that Commander Hill’s tattoos didn’t stop at her arms but rather flowed into her shoulders.  Accompanying her arm and shoulder tattoos was a very large pair of wings extending fully down her back, the ends of the wings stopping just below her hips. 

Not being able to take her eyes off of her Natasha couldn’t help but be drawn to the woman.  She was breathtaking in every way.  She was strong.  The muscles in her back and arms flexed as the water continued to rain down on her.  The woman exuded a sense of power that made those around her feel small.  She was downright scary.  She was like fire, beautiful but dangerous. 

After staring for far too long Natasha entered the shower room and picked the showerhead farthest away from the Commander.  If the woman heard her enter the room or turn on her shower she didn’t react. 

Fifteen minutes later Natasha washed the conditioner out of her hair but she couldn’t help the continuing to glance over at the Commander, noticing that woman had not moved a muscle.   Her hands were still up against the shower wall and her head was still hanging low as the water continued to pound down on her shoulders. 

Natasha once again watched the water cascade down the woman’s body but now from a closer distance she could see the slight tremors run through the Commanders back.  Shutting off her water Natasha stared.  What was going on? 

Natasha watched as the Commanders back and shoulder clenched and then released, clench and then released.  Against her better judgement she grabbed her towel and walked slowly towards the Commander.    Natasha was finally close enough to the woman that she felt a few splashes of water on her chest.  Natasha gasped at the feeling of the freezing cold water hitting her. 

Coming closer, Natasha couldn’t stop the shiver that made its way through her body as the freezing water began hitting more.  Now that she was closer she could see that the Commander’s entire body was shaking.  Natasha thought about touching her, but the tenseness in the Commander’s body wasn’t just from the freezing water, something was going on here, and Natasha had this gut feeling that if she touched this woman she would end up on her ass. 

Reaching forward slowly, not trying to startle the woman, Natasha grasped the shower knob and slowly shut the water off.  Pulling her hand back she waited.

Slowly she watched the tremors in the Commanders body lessen.  Minutes went by before Natasha watched the first movement she had seen from the woman since she first entered the shower room.  The Commander’s head slowly rose before turning to stare at Natasha.

Her jet black hair was dripping wet and plastered to her face as water droplets continued to drop from her hair, then down her face.  Natasha followed the water’s movements down her face she was sucked into those eyes.  They were completely black.  There was no differentiation between the sclera, pupil, or iris…it was all black wait…no…they were dark red.  A red so dark that it looked black.  Natasha now understood why the Commander wore sunglasses.  Her eyes were ominous to say the least.  Natasha found herself looking closer though, and she was surprised that even with completely red eyes she could read the emotion in them.  They looked so dark, clouded…lost.

Natasha knew this look.  She would sometimes find the same haunted green eyes staring back at her in the mirror over the years.   The Commander didn’t need to say.   One look into those eyes told Natasha everything.  In those eyes she could see the pain, the sorrow, the hate as clearly as if the Commander was speaking her thoughts and emotions aloud.    

Reaching forward she offered the shaking woman her towel. 

Natasha watched as the Commander looked down at the offered towel and then back up to her.  The Commander reached forward and grabbed the towel as their fingers brushed just slightly.  Natasha watched as the Commander stared down at that their barely touching fingers.  

Neither woman moved as they both stood there.  The intimacy of the moment seeming to freeze both of them. 

Natasha watched as the woman before her seemed to straighten as she followed Natasha’s fingers, up her arm, over her shoulder and then finally their eyes met.

Natasha’s chest constricted painfully as she forgot to breathe, her green eyes boring into the Commander’s now bright blue eyes.  What triggered the change in the Commander’s eyes was unknown to Natasha but nonetheless it was a beautiful sight to behold.    To say that her eyes were blue was like saying the sun was yellow.  Sufficient but not accurate enough to capture the burning. 

The vulnerability in those blue eyes as the Commander stood before Natasha was beautiful, and terrifying.  The Commander stood there as she was.  There were no walls, no false fronts and no lies.  She showed Natasha the fire within her heart and storm brewing in her soul. 

Natasha stood their silently, recognizing the beauty amongst the chaos.  Breaking eye contact with her Natasha began to move her hand as they traveled up the Commanders ring finger.  Natasha moved slowly, tracing every curve, bump and wrinkle of the Commanders skin, her fingers leaving an electric crackle in its wake, before her hands made its way to the top of the Commanders. 

Natasha traced the back of the Commanders hand for a few moments before bringing her eyes back up.  Natasha lowered her own walls as she showed the Commander the storm and fire that brewed within herself.  Black eyes bore into green as she felt the Commanders other hand come up and grasp the towel beneath their hands as her other slow turned over under Natasha’s fingertips.  Natasha’s skin came alive at the feeling of the Commanders fingertips tracing small intricate patterns into her palms.

They showed each other the fire that ran wild within their souls and together, despite the fear of being burned, they set each other ablaze.  Their fingertips danced in the flames.    

***

Maria doesn’t know who moved first but as a painful tremor made its way through her body and goosebumps began to appear down her arms.  She noticed their hands were no longer touching.  The loss of contact seemed to break them out of their daze.  

Maria watched as Romanoff seemed to realize the moment between them was gone.  Her eyes lingering on Maria’s face, confusion evident in her eyes before giving Maria one last look before walking out of the shower room.

As soon as Maria reached her locker she quickly fastened her glasses back on.  Neither one of them spoke as they got dressed. The foreign feeling in Maria’s chest made her move at a faster pace.  She was finally dressed and she began to walk out of the locker room, pausing just slightly by Romanoff as she gave her a nod.

“Agent Romanoff.”

Maria watched as Romanoff looked up from tying her shoes.  Romanoff’s wall was back up and Maria could not read her.  Maria watched as Romanoff sat up and leaned back on the bench, her hands placed behind her, holding her up.  Romanoff smirked at her before speaking.

“Seeing as we just saw each other naked, I believe Agent Romanoff is a little formal, don’t you?”

Maria had to fight back the mental images of a naked Natasha Romanoff that were now engraved into her brain.  The woman was breathtaking.

Natasha spoke, “Natasha, my name is Natasha.”           

Maria paused as she thought about this before speaking. 

“Okay, Natasha,” she nodded.  Natasha’s name foreign on her tongue but nonetheless rolling off her tongue with ease. 

Maria began to walk out of the room before she reached the door she heard Natasha call out to her behind her.

“You know generally when someone extends you the courtesy of calling them by their first name it is usually reciprocated.”

Maria paused in the door before turning.  Natasha smirking at her, now standing with her arms crossed over chest, her eyes shining brightly with amusement. 

“While in front of the crew and fellow Agents you will address me as Commander Hill.”

Natasha easily saw the opening in her statement. 

“And when we are not in front of the crew?” 

Maria gave Natasha a small smile before speaking softly.

“Maria, my name is Maria.”

And with that, she walked out the door.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy it? Let me know!


	4. The Stark Expo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have truly enjoyed reading all of your reviews! I thank you all for all the positive feedback and as for the errors in some of the previous chapters I am really trying to catch them all, as are my 2 betas. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It is by far my favorite so far!.

The incident in the locker room was three weeks ago and neither Maria nor Natasha spoke about it again.   Not that they were given a chance.  The next morning Natasha was sent on an undercover mission at Stark Industries.  The OP was the first thing Maria read with her level 9 clearance. 

From the SHIELD reports, it seemed that Tony Stark was dying.  The palladium in the arc reactor that kept Stark alive was slowly poisoning him.  Not only was SHIELD dealing with Tony Stark but Fury just pulled Phil from the Stark mission to investigate an  O84 that showed up in New Mexico overnight. 

“Deputy Director Hill,” echoed the computerized assistant in her office. 

Maria only slightly jumped at the voice.  It was hard to get used to but at least she wasn’t jumping from her chair with her service weapon anymore. 

“Director Fury is requesting a video conference.”

Maria stood up from her chair and approached the large monitor on her wall.

“Patch him through.”

Maria took position in front of the screen.  Her hands were placed behind her back and she stood tall. 

Fury driving in his SUV showed up on her screen.

“Hill,” said Fury not taking his eyes off the road.  “Coulson is requesting my presence in New Mexico, it seems the O84 is something bigger then we could have ever imagined.  I need you to take my place in the Stark mission.  I am having Agent Ruddy bring you everything that I need you to point Stark in the right direction.  Also there is an injection of lithium dioxide that I need you to give to Stark.  It’s not a cure but it will stop the symptoms.  Romanoff will be picking you up from the air strip.”

“Sir, is it wise to have both you and I off the helicarrier?  What if something goes wrong?”

 “I gave the order to lower the ship.  I am putting Agent Ruddy in charge until either one of us gets back.  You will only be a 20 minute plane trip away from the ship if something critical happens.”

“Yes sir.”

“Also Hill,” added Fury, “Romanoff is reporting that Stark is not in his right mind right now.  There is a great possibility that he may be not only a danger to himself but others.  Romanoff last reported him drunkenly flying away from his home in Malibu in his Ironman suit.”

Maria rolled her eyes at this, “great,” she mumbled to herself.

“Be ready for anything and subdue him if you need to but don’t break him.  SHIELD will need him in the future.”

As he said this he looked away from the road to give her a look. 

Maria couldn’t help but smirk at his remark. 

“Did Romanoff report his location?”

“No,” said Fury his eyes going back to the road.  “But it is Tony Stark, he leaves a mess where ever he goes, Ironman suit or not.  Check YouTube.”

And with that the screen went blank.

Maria sighed as she walked back to her desk. 

“Computer, run the most recent search on Tony Stark or Ironman.  Search all social media.  I need to know where he is at.”

Just then Agent Ruddy walked into her office with a file under his arm and a small box in his hand. 

“Commander, here is the Stark file and the lithium dioxide,” he spoke as he handed her the objects.

“Thank you Agent Ruddy.  I understand that you will be in charge while I am off the ship.  I want you to call me with even the slightest problem.” 

“Yes sir.”

“Deputy Director Hill,” the computerized voice once again echoed throughout her office, “a YouTube video of Ironman was just posted two minutes ago.  Would you like me to bring it up?”

Maria sighed.  She knew she was not going to like what she was about to see but nonetheless gave the order as she rounded her desk. 

“Put it on screen three.”

Maria and Agent Ruddy stood side by side in front of the screen as they watched Tony Stark, in a partial Iron Man armor, sitting in a giant rooftop donut display snacking on a box of donuts in his lap.

“That man is a disaster,” sighed Maria.

Agent Ruddy was trying but failing miserably at keeping the smile off his face at the video in front of him.

Maria took one final look at the screen before walking out of the room. 

“I want my wheels up in two minutes.  Get ahold of Romanoff and tell her to meet me at that location in twenty.”

*******

Even with her sunglasses in place Maria cupped her hand over her eyes to shield them from the sun as she stared up into the sky.  The man wasn’t even trying to hide.  He was still sitting in the donut display staring out into the city, the box of donuts in his lap completely ignored. 

“Sir,” called out Maria removing her hand from her face to cross both arms over her chest as she stared up at him.  “I am going to have to ask you to exit the donut.”

Stark instantly brought his gaze down to her.  She allowed him to stare at her for a few more seconds before she indicated with her head to the diner door. She didn’t wait to see if Stark would follow as she walked towards the diner.  She knew he would. 

Maria was drinking half way through her coffee much needed before Stark walked in.  She figured he wouldn’t come right away.  This was Tony Stark after all.  He did things at his pace and his way. 

Maria followed his movements as he walked towards the booth she was sitting at.    He sat down across from her, bringing his glasses down his nose, to level her with a look over his them.

“I know I am really hungover right now but I don’t believe we have ever met.”

Maria had to physically fight the small quirk from forming on her lips at his statement.  Even hungover the man was a helpless flirt.  She allowed him to rake his eyes down her body and give her that famous “Tony Stark” smirk.

Maria rolled her eyes behind her glasses.  This man was a handful. 

The sound of the diner door being opened saved her from having to comment on his poor blatant attempt at flirting.  Maria looked past Starks shoulder to see Natasha stroll in.  Natasha met her gaze and gave her a small smile as they made eye contact and Maria could have sworn Natasha put an extra sway in her step as she moved closer to them. 

“Commander, we have secured the perimeter but I don’t think we should hold it for too much longer.”

Maria nodded and moved to her left, a silent invitation for Natasha to have a seat.

“Huh...you’re…fired.”                                                                                         

Maria couldn’t stop the twitch of her lips at Starks comment that she quickly hid behind her coffee mug.

“That’s not up to you,” said Natasha leaning back in the booth and leveling Stark with a look.

Interrupting any future argument between the two, Maria spoke. 

“Stark, my name is Maria Hill.   I am the Deputy Director of SHIELD,” she paused to indicate to Natasha with her head, “and this is Agent Natasha Romanoff.”

She finished her coffee and placed the coffee mug on the table, more firmly then needed.  The crack of the ceramic hitting the table made Stark jump a little in his seat. 

“You have been very busy. You made Pepper Potts your CEO, you're giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I know better...

“You don't know better. I didn't give it to him. He took it,” said Stark interrupting her.

“I find it hard to believe that he took it,” fired back Maria.

Stark opened his mouth to retort but Natasha beat him to it.

“According to Mr. Stark's database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage.”

Stark shut his mouth at that and then after a few moments he sighed in defeat.

“What do you want from me?”

Maria brought her hand under the table and slipped Natasha the injection of lithium dioxide.  The fact that their hands lingered over the injections a second too long wasn’t lost on Maria.  Natasha then stood from the booth to exit the building. 

The chime of the bells on the door signaled to Maria that someone walked out of the building, but Maria knew it wasn’t Natasha.  Stark didn’t know that though.  She turned to the man and spoke.

“We don’t want anything from you Stark.  I am here because you have become a problem.  A problem that I had to leave my post to deal with.  Contrary to popular belief, you are not the center of SHIELD’s universe.  I have bigger problems to deal with then you.”

Maria saw movement over Stark’s shoulder and knew who it was.  She was impressed by Natasha’s approach.  Maria didn’t even sense her coming until she was almost on top of them.    

“Hit him!” ordered Maria.

Natasha moved fast and injected Stark in the neck. 

Stark groaned at the injection as his hand shot up to his neck, “Oh God! Are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it? Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds? What did she just do to me?”

Maria rolled her eyes at his dramatics.

“What we did for you is inject you with lithium dioxide.  It’s going to take the edge off.  We’re trying to get you back to work.”   

Natasha slipped back into booth.  She crossed her legs as she sat, her foot coming into contact with Maria’s shin.  It could have been an accident but the fact that she didn’t move it had Maria believing it wasn’t.

“Give me a couple of boxes of that.  I’ll be right as rain.”

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms,” said Natasha.

Natasha’s leg flexed out under the table, her foot now curling under Maria’s knee.  Definitely not an accident.

Maria cleared her throat before speaking.

“Doesn’t look like it’s going to be easy.”

“You don’t think I know that,” said Stark a slight edge to his voice.  “I’m good at this stuff,” he said pointing to the reactor on his chest.  “I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium.  I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

Maria reached over to a file on the table and slid it over to Stark.

“Well I am here to tell you, you haven’t tried them all.”

***

Maria sighed next to Stark Industries CEO Pepper Potts as she tugged on the collar of the button up shirt.  This was not her scene.  She would much rather be hunkered down in some third world country in a sweaty uniform, covered in dirt fighting some rebel militant force then be here, at the Stark Expo, dressed in a suit. 

Directly after the diner Natasha informed her that she had a suspicion that Hammer Industries were employing Ivan Vanko to help in the production of combat suits.  Natasha had no hard evidence to support this claim but after radioing Agent Ruddy at the SHIELD command center he was able to supply her with enough evidence that concerned her. 

Maria ordered Natasha to stay with Stark which meant she would need to go the Stark Expo to see just what Hammer was up to. 

Pepper Potts offered Maria Stark’s ticket since it was clear Stark was not going to attend Maria could go in his place.   Ms. Potts was a wonderful woman.  Maria respected her highly.  She was the CEO of Stark Industries and because the woman has been dealing with Tony Stark for years.  The woman should earn a noble peace prize for the later.

“Not comfortable in your suit, Commander?”

Maria was dragged out of her thoughts and she lowered her hand from the collar of her shirt to turn towards Ms. Potts.

“I haven’t worn a suit in eight years Ms. Potts.  I forgot how stifling they can be,” replied Maria as she tried to fix to readjust her tie. 

Ms. Potts laughed and moved to stand in front of Maria, gently pushing her hands away before adjusting the tie for her. 

“None of that Ms. Potts business.  My name is Pepper,” she gave Maria a smile as her hands worked on the tie.  “And as far as this suit goes…by the looks you are getting all night, I believe some people wished they could see you in one every night,” she teased winking at Maria before putting the finishing touches on the tie and stepping back to inspect her work.

“Yes, I do quite agree with them, you look very good in a suit Commander.”

The announcement of the Stark Expo getting under way saved Maria from saying anything too embarrassing, as she was not used to so much attention.

“Pepper,” nodded Maria both in thanks and invitation as she offered her arm to her. 

Pepper smiled at her and took her arm as Maria began to lead them to their reserved seats in the front row of the expo.

Just as they took their seats the show began to start. 

The lights dimmed and she watched as Justin Hammer danced into the stage.  Pepper gave her a disturbed look as the man continued to dance.  Maria couldn’t help but wonder if it made it easier for him to move like that because the man had no spine.

“Ladies and Gentleman for far too long this country has had to place its brave men and woman in harm’s way, but then the Ironman arrived and we thought the days of losing lives were behind us.  Sadly, that technology was kept out of reach.  That’s not fair.  That’s not right, and it is just too bad.”

Maria rolled her eyes at this as an “Oh…lord,” was mumbled from Pepper.

“Regardless it was an impressive innovation, one that grabbed headlines all over the world.  Well today, my friends.  The press is faced with quite a different problem.  They are about to run out of ink.”

Maria took a small amount of glee in watching as Hammer realized his joke, that he was clearly impressed with, only had a small amount of people clapping.

Hammer cleared his throat uncomfortably as he too recognized the fact that his joke didn’t make the impression that he had hoped.  He stepped back from the podium and undid his suit jacket. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, today I present to you the new face of the United States military.  The Hammer Drone!”

The stage floor started opening up.

“The Army!”

Coming up from the opening of the stage was a small group of beige large drones. 

Maria stiffened and her eyes narrowed.  Pepper shifted uncomfortably in her seat.  They both silently were agreeing that this idea made them very uncomfortable.

“The Navy!”

Another group of drones rose from the stage floor, these ones a dark blue.

Hammer pointed to the other end of the stage and yelled.

“Air Force!”

Gray drones started to rise from the floor.

“Marines!”

Maria heart was beating rapidly now as she watched the camo group of drones rise from the stage. 

The large applause from all around seemed to get Hammer even more excited.

“That’s a hell of a lot better than some cheerleaders let me tell ya!”

The applause continued as he stepped to the front of the stage. 

“But as revolutionary as this technology is, there will always be a need for man to be present in the theater of war.  Ladies and gentleman today, I am proud to present the very first prototype of the variable threat response battle suits and its piolet, Air Force Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes!”

The middle of the stage opened as the suit that Stark gave to Rhodey now stood on the stage with an overwhelming amount of weapons attached to its body. 

The sound of blasters could be heard interrupting whatever Hammer was saying.  Maria and everyone watched a few seconds later as Ironman land in the middle of the stage. 

**_“Commander.”_ **

Maria had to tilt her head to the side and hold her earpiece closer to her ear at the sound of Natasha’s voice in her ear.  She could barely hear it over the screams of elation from the crowd at the sight of Ironman.

**_“Vanko is in the Hammer system.  Everyone there is in danger…”_ **

Maria’s eyes shot to the stage as she saw all the drones on stage, including Cornel Rhodes suit all take aim at Ironman.

“Shit…” she mumbled just as Ironman flew off and the drones opened fire after him. 

The screams of people around her made it difficult to hear anything else Natasha was saying in her ear.  Maria was currently covering Pepper’s body with her own as the gun fire continued.

Still shielding Pepper’s body Maria looked up to the stage to see Hammer run off towards the back as his drones began jumping from the stage and entering the crowd.  Grabbing her gun from her back holster she grabbed Pepper’s arm and dragged her to the back of the stage in the direction of Hammer.

Pushing the com on her ear she yelled to Natasha.

**_“Romanoff, I need you to get to Hammer Tech now.  This is clearly Vanko.  Get in there and disable the connection to these drones.”_ **

**_“Yes sir.”_ **

Pushing the com on her ear again but now twice Maria was now barking an order at Agent Ruddy.

**_“Ruddy.  The Stark Expo is under attack by a team of war drones created by Hammer Tech.  I have Romanoff in route to Hammer’s lab but I need an evacuation team here to get these civilians to safety.  And find a way to patch me through to Stark!”_ **

**_“On it sir.”_ **

Maria and Pepper reached the back stage where Hammer was standing in front of the computers yelling at his staff.

“What is going on here!” growled out Maria her voice clearly getting his attention as Hammer whirled around from the computer.

“Look I don’t know who you are but we have this completely under control, now go away.”

Maria’s nostrils flared in anger at Hammer’s word.  Just as he turned around, no doubt to yell at his employees some more, she stepped forward and grabbed Hammer before slamming him down to his desk, pinning his arm behind his back.  Maria ignored the startled gasp from Pepper behind her as she leaned down and growled in Hammer’s ear.

“Is Vanko doing this?”

“Vanko who?”

This man was really starting to piss Maria off.  She pulled up on Hammer’s arm, almost to the point of breaking it as she heard the man cry out in pain.

“Yes!” he cried out. “It’s Ivan Vanko.”

“Is he at your facility?”

“Yes, yes. Please stop you are going to break my arm!”

Maria glared down at him, actually considering breaking his arm, it was a small punishment for what he has done.  In the end, she let go of his arm and pushed him away. 

Touching her coms she spoke.

**_“Romanoff._ **

The sound of heavy fighting could be heard over the com.  Maria waited a few more moments as the sound of a sickening crunch and then a body hitting the floor could be heard before she continued.

**_“Vanko is at Hammer facility.  Once the drones are disabled, I want him neutralized.”_ **

There was a slight pause at her order before finally Natasha spoke.

**_“Yes sir.”_ **

Maria could hear the breathlessness in the woman’s voice but she also heard the smile. Natasha was in her element.

Pressing her com again she called out to Ruddy.

**_“Ruddy, where is my evacuation team?”_ **

“No, no, no don’t call the police…” Hammer trailed off as Maria turned on him and the man didn’t need to see her eyes to know she was glaring.

**_“ETA five minutes.”_ **

The sound of heavy gun fire continued in the front of the building as well as the screams of civilians.

**_“Make it three.”_ **

She stepped forward in front of the screens and started typing furiously at the computer trying to determine how bad this situation really was. 

**_“Commander, I am patching you through to Stark.”_ **

Maria stopped typing at the sound of heavy gunfire in her ear signaled to her that she was now in Starks coms.

**_“Stark.”_ **

**_“Commander Hill, how nice of you to call.”_ **

Maria shook her head, even in situations like this the man was still childish.

**_“Stark I need you to keep these things as far away from the expo as possible.  I have an extraction team in route and Romanoff is at Hammer Tech trying to disable the drones.”_ **

**_“Yes sir…I mean Mam…Commander…Oh hell…whatever…I got it.”_ **

Maria smirked at his response as she started typing away at the computer again.  She noticed that each set of drones was communicating in its own language but she couldn’t crack it. 

**_“Commander, the extraction team is there.  But they are coming under heavy gun fire.  The drones are now targeting civilians.”_ **

Maria instantly pushed herself back from the table.  She ordered Hammer’s employees to try and disable the drone’s communication while yelling to Pepper to stay there and supervise them before running out the back emergency exit.

She was instantly greeted with heavy gunfire and had to hide behind a corner to avoid it.  Peering around the corner she saw several SHIELD Agents pinned behind a SUV as ten drones closed in.  Maria reached up and loosened her tie around her neck before rounding the corner.  She ran as fast as she could to the SUV.

She barely made it as gunfire sailed above head.  She crashed into the SUV next to a very startled female Agent.

“Commander,” nodded the Agent clearly shocked to see the Deputy Director of SHIELD fighting alongside her.

“Agent,” nodded Maria before reaching inside the SUV and pulling out multiple guns. 

Looking down the line of five Agents pressed up against the SUV Maria started barking out order.

“You two,” she called out pointing to the two Agents on the end, “I need you in that building escorting the rest of the civilians out the back.  I need the rest of you out here.  Provide cover for the civilians.  The only weakness these things have are the arc reactors in their chest.”

“You ready?”

“Yes sir!”

“Okay, on my mark, three, two, one, GO!”

Maria stood up with her assault rifle and began firing.  She instantly hit the first drone in its reactor, dropping it to the ground.  But as soon as the drone dropped to the ground the other 9 all turned on her. 

“Oh shit,” mumbled Maria.  “Move, move, move,” she yelled to the Agents pushing them out from behind the SUV behind a water fountain. 

She barely got them out of the line of fire as the bullets tore through the SUV.  Maria was gasping for breath behind the fountain as the SUV exploded next to them.

“Shit Commander, your hit,” said the female Agent from earlier.

Maria watched as the female Agent moved in front of her and put pressure on a gunshot wound to her right shoulder.

**_“The Commander is down.  I repeat the Commander is down.  I need a med evac here now.”_ **

Maria could feel the blood running down the right side of her body from her shoulder.  Reaching up she moved the Agents hand away as she brought her other hand to feel the wound.  She winced as she felt it.  It was a very large whole.  What the hell kind of ammo did Hammer put in these drones?  She moved her hand over the large hole and then to the back of her shoulder she could feel the exit wound. 

She almost pulled her hand back but as something moved under her fingertips she froze.  She could feel the wound still but it was getting smaller.  Something, was bubbling against her fingertips closing the wound.   

The wound was completely closed in a matter of seconds.  Her fingertips now feeling nothing but skin. 

**_“This is Romanoff in route.  What is the status of Commander Hill?”_ **

The shakiness in Natasha’s voice seemed to snap Maria out of her daze.  Maria looked down at her shoulder to see her white shirt was drenched in blood.

**_“This is Commander Hill, disregard that med evac.  I will be fine. Romanoff where are you?”_ **

The sound of a body crashing up against the fountain to her right had Maria turning her head to see Natasha, back up against the wall with duel pistols in hand.  Natasha rotated on her knees just barely peeking over the fountain as she unloaded her clip.  The distinct sound of a drone hitting the ground could be heard over the heavy gunfire. 

Natasha rotated back down as a hail of bullets were directed at her. 

Maria watched as Natasha loaded her weapon before turning to look at her.  Natasha turned to her with a smile but it quickly disappeared as her eyes settled on Maria’s white shirt stained with blood.   

“That doesn’t look okay.”

Maria huffed at her words and rotated her shoulder, testing its movement.  There wasn’t any pain.  No stiffness.  Nothing.  It felt…normal.

“It’s fine.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes at her but didn’t respond further.  She knew better to argue with her CO while in a battlefield.

“How do you want to handle this?” she asked.

Maria took a steadying breath and looked around at their surroundings.

Chaos.

That is how she would describe what was going on.  Sweat was trickling down the back of her neck.  The sun had long set and the air was chill but Maria felt like she was cooking.  It felt as if that same scorching sun that beat down on her every day for the four tours was now over New York cooking her like it did all those years ago. 

She shook her head and while opening and closing her eyes trying to stop the flash backs that invaded her thoughts.  This was no time for PTSD. She felt herself starting to get back under control and looked to her right ready to bark out an order.

“Romanoff, I want you…” her words died in her throat as the person next to her wasn’t Romanoff but instead a man.  He was smiling at her as he crouched behind the fountain.  He was dressed in a full beige combat gear, his hand wrapped around a M16A4 decorated with a Captain America sticker on the stock.  His bright blue eyes, so full of life stared at her.

“This looks like a shit show Cap,” he laughed as he ducked deeper into the wall as a reign of bullets sailed over his head.  He was now sitting with his back against the wall.  He turned his head to her, even with the bullets flying over his head he still had ‘that’ smile on his face.

“Looks like they are gathering in the center square Cap,” he spoke with a calmness to his voice.  His voice, a calming voice that could only belonged to one Matthew Coulson. 

“How about you, I and Garrison handle it down here,” he paused to nod forward.  Maria followed the gesture of his head to see Drew Garrison on his belly crawling towards them keeping out of the gun fire.  He had a frown on his face but when he looked up to meet Maria’s gaze he smirked. 

“This is a complete shit show Cap!” he yelled up to her.

Coulson laughed next to her.

“That’s what I said!”

“Braddock, Mathious and Ward are taking cover behind that vehicle,” Garrison paused to point back to the Cadillac riddled with bullet holes about 25 yards away.  Braddock, Mathious and Ward were kneeling behind by the trunk of the car looking at her.

“THIS IS A FUCKING SHIT SHOW CAP!” yelled Mathious from behind the car, Braddock and Ward were nodding behind him in agreement.

Coulson on her right and Garrison now on her left laughed. 

“What do you say Cap?  We can handle them here, you want the triplets on the roof?” asked Coulson.

Maria’s thoughts were accelerating inside her head and she stared at her team.  She wanted her thoughts to slow down so she could breathe but they wouldn’t.  Her breaths were coming out in gasps and black splotches appeared in her vision.

“You are all…dead,” choked out Maria staring at her team before her eyes came to rest on Coulson.

“Not yet Cap but we will be if we stay here,” he joked.

Her heart started beating furiously inside her chest as if it were trying to break through her ribs.  Everything started to spin and she felt dizzy.  She tried to concentrate on Coulson’s face as the world around him faded away.  He was no longer smiling, a rare frown marred his face.

“Cap are you good?”

Maria fell to the side and had to hold out her hand to stop her from completely hitting the ground.  She closed her eyes trying to make everything slow to something her brain and body could cope with.  Her stomach turned and she had to fight the overwhelming urge to vomit. 

“Shit something is wrong with Cap!”

“Cap you good? Cap you hear me?”

Their voices were fading.  Was she passing out? 

“Braddock, something is wrong with Cap.  We need an evac now!”

Their voices were farther away…too far away.

“Maria can you hear me?

The sound of a panicky Coulson reached her ear.  He was probably hoping her rarely used first name would snap her from whatever was going on.   It didn’t.

  1.   In.  Out.  Breathe.



“Come on Maria we need you here.  Come back to us.”

There almost gone now.  Too far away. 

“Maria.”

Breathe. Just Breathe.

“MARIE OPEN YOUR EYES DAMN IT!”

Maria eyes shot wide and she gasped for breath. 

Black dots blocked very vision momentarily but she could make out a body crouching in front of her.

“Matt…” she croaked out.

“Matt?” questioned the voice as Maria’s vision finally cleared. 

Natasha was in front of her, staring at her with wide green eyes, her fingers are white-knuckled holding the lapels of her jacket. 

“That’s it keep your eyes on me.”

Natasha’s words had her mind reeling.  Where was her team?  What was going on?  Did she have an attack? How could Natasha see her eyes?

Maria reached up a shaky hand to the side of her face to feel bare skin where glasses should be present. 

“My glasses,” gasped out Maria.

“I got them,” said Natasha quickly sliding them onto Maria’s face and clipping them into place.  “You spaced out for a second there.  I think maybe from blood loss.  I had to take them off to see what was going on.”

Maria let out a breath of relief at the sound of the glasses clicking firmly into place.  She took a few steadying breaths and shook her head, trying to clear her mind.  Natasha thought her episode was due to the blood loss.  Good.  That would make things easier.    

“You good?” asked Natasha concern still evident in her eyes.

Maria closed her eyes and shook her head up and down in confirmation, taking one last steadying breath before speaking.

“We need to start drawing these things fire,” said Maria her voice steadying.

Natasha nodded in agreement. 

Maria turned to the three agents to her right.  “I want you three,” she paused the word ‘triplets’ running through her mind for a split second before quickly moving it to the back of her mind. 

“I want you three to run to that car park,” Maria pointed to a car park around fifty yards away.  “Get to the third floor and start picking these bastards off from above.  Romanoff and I will handle everything down here.”

She saw Romanoff grab her pistols from her their holsters at her order.  Maria watched as Natasha quickly checked over her pistols making sure they were loaded before giving Maria a nod, indicating that she was ready.

Maria gripped the rifle in her hand and took a steadying breath.

“Okay, go now!”

Maria and Natasha turned and began firing.  Maria dropped two more drones and Natasha dropped one before then both had to take cover again.   Maria looked to the car park, she was just able to make out the last Agent safely.

She sighed with relief before looking down at her gun.  She quickly changed out the ammo and looked to Natasha to see if she was ready for another round. 

Gunfire started to come from the carpark and the sound of two more drones dropping to the ground sounded.  Natasha met her gaze and nodded and the two turned again and fired.

There were only two drones left and they were taking hits from both angles. 

The sound of a screaming child seemed to echo through the gunfire.  Maria stopped firing as she saw what looked to be like a 4 year old girl in the middle of the gunfire.  She was sitting on her bottom, her hands were over her head, screaming. 

Maria didn’t even give it a second thought.

“Cover me!”

She launched over the fountain into the water as she ran towards the child.

“No! Shit!”  Maria heard Natasha yell from behind her.

**_“Cover the Commander!”_ **

Maria felt a bullet slice her right and left thigh and another two hit her in the abdomen but it didn’t stop her from pushing forward.  As she got within 10 feet of the child she saw the final drone taking aim at the small girl. 

She pushed herself even faster as she scooped the small child into her arms, rotating her body as she shielded the young girl from the bullets that were about to come.  Maria closed her eyes and waited for the pain and no doubt her death but…it never came. 

Maria turned around to see drone behind her with a perfect bullet hole in its chest.  It stood there for a second its arch reactor flickering before crumbling inches from Maria and the small child.  Maria looked around and was surprised to find Natasha standing 10 feet away, breathing heavily her gun in hand still pointed to where the drone once stood.

Natasha gave her a nod and before Maria could respond the panicked voice of Stark in here ear interrupted her ear.

**_“Commander, get out of there!  The drones are rigged to blow!”_ **

Maria’s eyes went wide as she stared at the ten drones around her.  She could hear the beeping of a timer, the pace of the beeps getting quicker.

“Run now!” yelled Maria. 

Maria saw the woman hesitate but Maria yelled at her again as she scooped the little girl in her arms and started running towards Natasha, who finally turned around and was running. 

Maria easily caught up to Natasha as she reached out with her right arm and scooped Natasha off her feet.  She cried out in pain as she had to lift Natasha off her feet, the wounds on her body reacting painfully before running 15 more yards at a rapid pace before launching them into the fountain just as the drones exploded behind them.  Maria could feel the heat on her back as they landed in the water.  The flames from the explosion just making it over the water as they went under. 

Maria sat up in the water her arm still wrapped around the little girl as the both coughed water out their mouth.  Natasha was sitting next to them coughing as well.

“I guess….” Natasha gasped, “That makes us even.”

Maria was rubbing the small girls back helping her cough up water as she heard the woman’s words.  She glanced over at Natasha, whom was now smiling at her.  Maria couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her throat as she shook her head at the woman’s antics.  

Maria watched the smile on Natasha’s face form into a frown as her eyes were now staring at the water around Maria.   She followed her eye movement and her eyes were greeted with a red pool of water that seemed to be pooled just around her.

Maria felt her heart drop at the sight. 

“Wow…that’s a lot of blood,” slurred out Maria as her vision started blackening. 

Maria could barely hear what was going on around her.

_“Commander….blood…medical…”_

The bits and pieces she heard were fragmented and before she knew it she was being helped to her feet by two Agents.  Both of them wrapped their arms around her body as they carried her out of the fountain.  Maria looked back to see the blurry image of Natasha holding the little girl and handing her off to a police officer. 

The Agents carried her to SHIELD medical van.  There were medical staffs waiting for them as they approached. 

As soon as Maria was on the stretcher she didn’t feel the pain from the gunshot wounds any longer.  The medical staff ripped open her bloodied shirt and the other was cutting her pants both of them not being able to find any marks on her skin.

She ignored their questions about where she was shot and looked to the side to see the Agents standing around her, worried expressions on their faces.

“I’m not dying…stop looking at me like I am dying…” mumbled Maria getting the desired reaction from all the Agents as they smiled nervously at her. Natasha however had a frown on her face.  Maria stared at her trying to understand the reasoning behind the emotion on Natasha’s face before she frown was not directed at her but rather something going on behind Maria. 

Maria turned her head to see what Natasha was staring at and what she found made her eyes go wide. 

A man in a fully decorated military uniform with multiple medals, stars and badges on his jacket, was standing about ten feet from the stretcher.

“Captain Hill, it’s been a while,” the man’s voice sending visible shivers through Maria’s body.  Maria stared at the man frozen, unable to breathe as she stared into the cold brown eyes of General Thaddeus Ross. 

“Agents, I would like to speak to Captain Hill alone,” said the General stepping closer to Maria. 

The almost violent flinch that went through Maria’s body as he stepped closer was noticed by everyone. 

Every Agent around Maria frowned. 

Maria’s sight of General Ross was then blocked by a small body with red hair

“Commander Hill,” said Natasha with a clear waring in her voice, “is injured and needs medical attention.”

Everyone around them watched the General’s eyes zeroed in on the Agent in front of him.  The General clearly did not like the tone of the woman as his eyes narrowed, stepping closer to Agent Romanoff, quite literally staring her down.

“Do you know who I am Agent?” The General growled down to her.

“No, and frankly I don’t care,” replied Natasha staring up at him with a deadly look in her eyes.  “Get the Commander ready for transport,” ordered Natasha not having to look back at the medical staff to know that they instantly started moving.

“I am ordering you to step aside Agent,” growled the General as he moved to step around her but was quickly thwarted as the five remaining Agents blocked his path, each one of them forming a wall around their Commander. 

“We don’t take orders from you General,” replied Natasha crossing her hand across her chest as she leveled him with a glare.

The General glared at every one of them as he watched over their shoulders as she was being loaded into the medical van.  Each Agent stood fast as they blocked any path he had to her. 

“I will find you Captain Hill!” growled the General as he stared at the Commander over the head of Natasha.  “Fury won’t be able to protect you forever,” he yelled to her before stomping off. 

The Agent that stood in front of the SHIELD medical van watched as the General walked away. Natasha hand was currently itching towards her side arm. 

“Shit!” yelled one of the medic’s getting everyone’s attention as they turned to see Maria fighting their hands thrashing on the gurney.

Natasha jumped into the medical van and tried to assist them with holding Maria down.

“What the fuck is going on?  Is she seizing?” growled out Natasha as she finally got a ahold of one of Maria’s arms pinning it to the bed, having to put all of her body weight and strength into just holding that one arm down. 

“No,” yelled one of the medics.  “It looks like a panic attack!”

Natasha’s eyes went wide as she heard the medics answer.  She looked down to see Maria thrash on the bed her mouth open in silent agony.

“My team!  Where is my team!!  Get off of me.  I will fucking kill you all!” screamed Maria fighting even harder now.  

“Shit,” cried out Natasha as she lost Maria’s arm, the woman over powering her in her rage.

“Korski, Daniels, Fuller…get your asses up here and hold her down.

Natasha then turned to the medics. 

“Give her something! Knock her out.”

“We already injected her with enough sedative to knock out a bear!” 

The Agents were piling on top of their Commander holding her down as Natasha stepped forward and grabbed Maria’s head forcing the woman to look at her.

“Commander!  Commander Hill! Can you hear me?”  Yelled Natasha hitting the woman’s cheek lightly trying to break her from her episode.

“Come on Commander, work with me here,” growled out Natasha in frustration which only seemed to send Maria into a further rage. 

Natasha’s eyes went wide at the sight.  Someone was going to get seriously hurt and  this medical van was one more episode away from getting torn apart.   

Then, a crazy idea finally came to her mind.

“Get off of her.”

“What! Are you crazy?!”

“I said get off of her!”

Natasha leveled them all with her famous Widow glare.

The Agents and medics quickly got off and Natasha grabbed a flailing hand in hers.  Natasha made sure not to put too much pressure on her wrist and made no move to hold the woman down.  Natasha laced her fingers with Maria’s as her other came up and stroked Maria’s face as she got down low and whispered in Maria’s ear. 

“Come back to us Maria,” whispered Natasha.  “You are fine.  I have you.  You are not there.  You are safe.  Everyone is safe.”

Natasha continued whispering down to Maria.  The more she whispered the less Maria fought. 

“Come on Maria I am using Coulson’s coping statements and everything,” Natasha joked.  Maria finally stilled in the gurney.

“That’s it Maria.”

Natasha pulled her head back to see the woman was now limp on the gurney but breathing deeply.

“I thought I told you to call me Commander Hill in front of the other Agents,” croaked out Maria.

Natasha couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her throat as she stared down as she and pushed her sweaty hair back from her head.

“If it makes you feel any better I don’t think they heard it.”

The two sat in silence just staring at each other before Maria’s eyes slowly started to close.

“I thought you didn’t believe in…” sighed Maria as she leant further into Natasha’s touch, “Coulson’s coping statements.”

Natasha smiled down at her.

“I was running out of ideas.  Coulson will be thrilled that I used them.”

Maria chuckled weakly.  Exhaustion was starting to set in and very vision began to blur.  She turned to Natasha and gathered her final bit of energy.  She reached up and grabbed Natasha’s hand giving it a weak squeeze.

“Don’t let them take my glasses off and no medical…” and with that Maria welcomed the darkness.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you guys think? I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please Review!


	5. Time Stops for No One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have loved reading all your reviews! Please continue with them. Fell free to ask questions or make suggestions! This story is being developed on a day to day basis so I don't really have an ending planned out :) Well this is the longest chapter yet and I hope you enjoy it. Can't wait to think what you guys think!

“Patient has multiple gunshot wounds.  Agents in the field are reporting she was shot in both upper thighs, two in the abdomen and one in the right shoulder.  She has severe blood loss but we haven’t been able to find any actual wounds.”

The medics relayed the information to the doctor waiting for them at the Quinjet.  The Agents followed them up the hanger but gave them a wide birth so that the Commander could be worked on.

“What do you mean you haven’t found the wounds?” barked the doctor pushing her way in between the medics to start checking Maria’s body.

The doctor made quick work of the clothes on Maria’s body stripping her to her underwear and bra.  “Where is all this blood from then?  Did any of you actually see a gunshot wound?”

The medics all shook their head as they stared down at the Commander’s body.

“So this may not be her blood?” asked the doctor checking the Commander’s pulse while looking at the medics.

“I saw her take one to the right shoulder.  I held pressure to it before she pushed me away.  The drones that Hammer built had some kind of armor piercing, high velocity rounds,” said a female Agent stepping directing her words to the doctor.  “The wound was very large.  About the size of a fifty cent piece, I saw it.”

The doctor looked up to the Agent looking her in the eye before looking down to her name tag.

“Agent Skoda,” said the doctor looking up from the Agents name tag.  “Come here,” the doctor waived Skoda over to stand by her side.  She waited until the Skoda was right next to her before nodding her head down to Maria’s body on the gurney.  She was almost completely exposed.  The clothes that were once on her body were lying in bloody heaps on the floor of the Quinjet.  “Do you see a bullet wound on her shoulder?”

Skoda looked down at the Commander. The Commander’s body was covered in blood but there were no visible wounds.  Skoda stared at the Commander’s shoulder for a few more seconds trying to wrap her head around what she was seeing.

“She was shot in the shoulder,” repeated Skoda disbelief evident in her voice.  “I felt the wound.  I still have her blood on my hands.” 

Skoda held her hands out to the doctor to show her the dried blood caked on her hands and under her fingernails.

The doctor looked to Skoda’s hands and then to the Commander’s shoulder.  The doctor narrowed her eyes at the dried blood on the Commander’s shoulder.  It did look as if there were fingerprints dried in blood on her skin. 

“Is the Commander going to be okay?”

The doctor looked up at the voice and her eyes widened just slightly as she realized the Black Widow was speaking to her.

“She…is…” stuttered the doctor before taking a deep breath and steadying her nerves.  “Outwardly the Commander looks fine.  There is no sign of any gunshot wounds or damage to her organs.” 

The doctor paused to look down at the Commander’s body noting the way the blood on her body seemed to be heavier in the areas that the medic’s reported she was shot.

“If she was shot then that would explain the blood,” mumbled the doctor to herself as she stared at the Commander with wide disbelieving eyes. 

“Is the Commander going to be okay?” repeated Agent Romanoff her voice hardened and her eyes narrowed into her famous Black Widow glare.

The doctor visibly flinched at her words and nodded.

“She will be fine.  I believe she is unconscious due to the heavy blood loss and exhaustion.  She should wake up as soon as her body has recovered from the ordeal.”

Agent Romanoff nodded before stepping forward and grabbing the bottom of the sheet and covering Maria’s body.

“What are you…” started the doctor.

She was silenced her with a glare. 

“You said she was fine so there is no need for her to be exposed any longer.” 

She pulled the sheet up to Maria’s shoulders, tucking her in.

“But we should take blood samples.  If the Commander was shot and healed we should be anayliz…”

The doctor trailed off as Agent Romanoff visibly stiffened at her words and her green eyes began to bore holes into the doctor’s head.

“May I remind you that she is the Deputy Director of SHIELD,” hissed Agent Romanoff.  “She is not some lab experiment.  You will not take anything from her without her permission.”

“Her DNA could hold the key to…”

“Speak again,” threatened Agent Romanoff.  “I dare you.  Push me on this and you will regret it.”

The doctor visibly gulped at the Black Widow’s words before stepping back from the Commander’s body.  She looked to the other Agent’s on the Quinjet.

“She just threatened me,” pointed the doctor to the Black Widow who was still glaring at her.  “Do something.”

The Agents stiffened at the doctors words as all of them looked from the doctor, to Agent Romanoff then to the Commander’s body. 

Agent Skoda stepped forward gripping her assault rifle a little tighter as she addressed the doctor.

“Agent Romanoff is correct.  The Commander…” nodded Agent Skoda to the Commander’s body before looking back to the doctor. “…she saved our lives out there.  Try and take her blood without her permission and Agent Romanoff won’t be the only Agent on this Quinjet that will stop you.”

The Agents behind her all nodded, glaring at the doctor.

“I would suggest you move to the cab of the Quinjet doctor,” growled out Agent Romanoff, smirking as the doctor jumped at her voice.  “We will watch the Commander.”

When the doctor didn’t move right away a male Agent behind Skoda walked towards her, the other Agents following his lead.  The doctor backed up until she was a good 7 feet away from the Commander’s body.   

The doctor’s eyes widened as the Agents moved to stand side by side, forming a wall between her and the Commander.

“We stand with the Commander,” said the male Agent glaring at the doctor. 

*******

Fury was walking out the door and onto the runway as the Quinjet carrying his bullet ridden Deputy Director landed.  He walked towards it as the hanger door dropped and a gurney was wheeled on to the ground.   His movement towards the Quinjet stopped as he took in the sight before him.

The gurney holding Hill was being pushed by two field Agents while another three led by Romanoff seemed to be forming a shield around the gurney.  The barely suppressed rage on their faces was evident.  They looked around the hanger at their fellow Agents almost as to say, “I dare you to try and touch her.”

Fury’s feet began to move again and he met the Agent’s halfway. 

Romanoff stopped about three feet from him and the Agents behind her followed suit.

“Boss,” acknowledged Romanoff nodding to him.

“Agent Romanoff,” nodded Fury back looking over her shoulder to the unconscious Hill still in the gurney.  “You want to tell me why Deputy Director Hill is being escorted by field Agents instead of the medical staff?”

Romanoff sighed at his words but nodded.

“I will,” answered Romanoff pausing as she looked around the busy airstrip to see most of the Agents had stopped in their tasks to watch what was happening.  “But I think that is a conversation that should be done in private sir,” she finished giving Fury a knowing look.

Fury felt the eyes of the crew members on him from all around.  He nodded to Romanoff before turning to walk away knowing that they would follow.  He let them through an open hanger door and then moved to turn towards the medical wing.

“Sir.”

Fury stopped and turned to Romanoff.    She was looking at him cautiously, her eyes going from him to the medical wing then back to him before speaking.

“Before Commander Hill passed out she requested that she not be placed in medical.”

Fury’s eyebrows rose at this.

“She was cleared by the doctor on the Quinjet,” added Natasha.  “She is just suffering from blood loss and exhaustion.”

Romanoff had a pleading look in her eyes.

“She doesn’t necessarily have to go to medical sir,” she added.

Fury stared at Romanoff for a few seconds before looking past her shoulder once again to stare at Hill on the gurney. 

“She was shot five times and medical cleared her?”

Romanoff nodded as well as the field Agents behind her.

“She was shot but the doctor on the Quinjet couldn’t find any wounds.”

Fury’s eyebrows rose at this, his eyes moving from Romanoff to the other Agents, noting the truthfulness in their eyes, before settling back on Hill.  Fury watched the rise and fall of Hill’s chest for a few seconds before turning on his heels and leading them away from the medical wing.  He led them down a rarely used part of the ship.  He stopped outside the door and turned to the Agents.

“Place her in there and then I want you all to report for debriefing,” ordered Fury. 

He stepped aside as the Agents wheeled the gurney into the room.  A few seconds later they left, each one giving him questioning glances as they left. 

Fury noticed that Agent Romanoff had yet to leave the room.  He let out a much needed sigh before entering. 

It was an empty barrack room that was rarely used.  Fury found Romanoff standing next to the gurney that held Hill’s body.  She was staring down at her with a blank expression but Fury could see the concern in her eyes.

Romanoff must have felt his gaze as she turned from Hill to stare at him. 

“Tell me everything,” ordered Fury stepping forward. 

Natasha let out a steadying breath before responding.

“I had reason to believe Hammer had something to do with Anton Vanko’s death.  SHIELD’s file on the Vanko’s death reported it as suspicious.  I went through the files and it led me to believe that Hammer somehow faked Vanko’s death in order to bring Vanko to Hammer Tech.  Commander Hill believed there was enough circumstantial evidence for her to be concerned as well.  Commander Hill ordered me to stick with Stark and she went with Ms. Potts to the Stark Expo.”

“Stark was able to complete the particular acceleration and develop a new arch reactor, more powerful than his earlier vision.  Quickly after he was in his Ironman suit, he informed me that he believed Hammer’s new technology that he created for the Stark Expo was somehow connected to Anton Vanko.”

“His A.I. program Jarvis got me up to speed as Stark flew to the expo.  After Jarvis informed me of what he had found I then went to Hammer Tech’s warehouse and sent the Commander a warning.  Hammer developed new military drones and planned to unveil them at the Stark Expo.  Stark believed Vanko had programmed the drones so that he had complete control over them.”

“Stark was correct and just as he arrived at the expo Vanko took control of the drones.  Commander Hill ordered me to find Vanko and disable the drones.  When I arrived to Hammer Tech, Vanko had already disappeared and I was unable to shut down the drones.  I was however, able to get Coronel Rhodes, Mark II suit back under his control.  I then received reports from Agent Ruddy that the drones were now targeting civilians so I then headed to the expo for support.”

Romanoff paused in her report to stare down at Hill before continuing.

“I arrived about two minutes after the Commander took a shot to the shoulder.  She was bleeding heavily from the right shoulder but was conscious.  When I commented on the GSW she said she was fine.  I didn’t argue.  I then asked her how she wanted to handle the drones…”

Romanoff’s voice trailed off as she stared down at Hill’s body.  A grim frown made its way onto the usually stoic Agent.  Fury watched in silence for a few more seconds before finally Romanoff turned back to him.

“She went catatonic for around 3 minutes.  I couldn’t get her to respond to me at all.  It was as if her mind was somewhere else entirely.  At first I thought she passed out because of the blood loss but I removed her glasses…” Romanoff paused as he stiffened but she continued.

“The condition of her eyes made it was hard to read what was going on but something was happening and I couldn’t really pinpoint what it was.  I was able to bring her back finally.  She was having a hard time breathing and shaking.  She had also had fallen to the side but caught herself with her arm before hitting the ground.   When she came to she was confused, she called me Matt…”

Fury stiffened at her final words as the reality if what happened to Hill at the Stark Expo finally came to light.

“I don’t know what triggered it.  It could have been the GSW, blood loss, or exhaustion…” continued Romanoff but Fury quickly interrupted her.

“It wasn’t any of those Romanoff.”

Romanoff stopped and stared at Fury clearly assessing him.  She continued staring at him for a few more seconds before speaking.

“You know what happened to her?”

Fury sighed at her question but nodded.

“Catatonia followed by a shortness of breath, dizziness, shaking and confusion,” listed Fury giving Romanoff a knowing stare. 

Romanoff’s eyes widened as she finally connected the dots in her mind.

“You think she suffers from PTSD?”

Fury nodded.

“The name of one of her squad members was Matt.  It explains all the symptoms,” he stated bringing his eyes to Hill.

 “I should have seen this before sending her out into the field,” Fury added more to himself then Romanoff.

Fury didn’t speak after that.  Instead, he and Romanoff stood in an uncomfortable silence as they both stared at Hill’s unconscious form.

“That would explain what happened in the medical transport,” said Romanoff breaking the silence.

Fury brought his eyes back to her and in confusion.

“What happened during the transport?”

“At the time I didn’t know what was going on.  It looked like she was having some sort of attack.  It came out of nowhere,” said Romanoff her voice barely above a whisper.  “She was joking with the team as the medical team was preparing her for transport, then this General came.  Even with six agents and two medics we could barely stop her from tearing the transport apart.”

Fury jaw twitched and his fists clenched at his sides. 

“This General,” Fury paused trying to keep the anger out of his voice, “did he touch her?”

 “No,” answered Romanoff looking at him closely, intrigued by his reaction to her words.  “The rest of the Agents and I stopped him from getting to her.  The Commanders reaction to his presence fueled any suspicion we had about the guy.  There was something off about him.”

Fury nodded silently to Romanoff’s words.  He took a steadying breath and stepped closer to the gurney to stare down at Hill. 

“General Ross is an evil man,” he said with barely contained rage.

He felt Romanoff step up next to him to stare down up at him.

“I don’t think I have ever seen you this worked up before,” pointed out Romanoff before staring down to Hill.

Fury sighed and nodded at Romanoff’s words.

“General Ross…is the reason we do what we do Romanoff.   He is an evil man, in a powerful position, which makes for a deadly combination.  The hate that I have for that man…” Fury trialed off, not being able to sum up into words the level of hatred he felt towards the General.

The two stood in silence.  Romanoff was clearly giving him time to get his anger in check.

“Why did General Ross do to the Commander?  For a reaction like that, it had to be bad.”

Fury looked at her for a few seconds.  Natasha could tell he was picking his words carefully.

“Let’s just say that the hate I reserve for General Ross is just a fraction of what Maria Hill feels towards that man.  What he did to her…” Fury’s voice trailed off before sighing.  “Even I don’t know the whole story Romanoff, if you want the details then you will have get it from her.”

Fury eyes are back to Hill.  He doesn’t speak anymore.  He felt Romanoff shit next to him before she spoke. 

“I am going to debrief with Coulson and get her some clothes, she shouldn’t have to wake up like that.”

Fury didn’t acknowledge her words but Romanoff knew he heard them.  She hadn’t moved yet as she stared down at Hill.

“I know you know how important her glasses are to her, judging by your reaction earlier.  She also asked that her glasses not be taken off.”

Fury did acknowledge this and nodded.

Romanoff moved away from the bed.  Fury heard her footsteps as she made her way to the door.  They came to a stop just outside the door.

“The doctor on the Quinjet wanted to take her blood.”

Fury whipped his head in her direction so fast he saw stars for a split second before growling out.

“Did she take any?”

Romanoff shook her head ignoring the growl in his voice completely.

“The other Agents and I didn’t let her.”

Fury let out a sigh of relief at her words before nodding towards her.

“Thank you Agent Romanoff.”

Romanoff stared at him then to Hill then back to him.   “She would have done the same for me,” she said before turning around and walking out the door. 

*******

_The room is white.  Everything is white.  White isn’t a bad color by no means but this white was different.  This was the kind of white that would even make freshly fallen snow look grey.  It was the kind of white that seared into your retinas making you temporarily blind._

_She chuckled to herself.  If only she was blind.  Then she would see a different color, black…everything black.  Black would be so much better than white._

_Then there was the silence._

_She remembered a time when she loved silence.  There was a calmness to it.  It had a way of caressing her skin like a cool summer’s breeze, soothing her soul and taking away the pain of the day. But now the silence ate away at her flesh.  It consumed her soul.  Could silence induce pain?_

_In this room it could._

_She had been in this place for ten days, she thinks.  There was no way of telling time here.  There was no sunrise or sunset, no night, no stars, no fucking clock—just white._

_Where did she even get ten days from?  It could have been two hours or six months since she was thrown in this place, time here didn’t exist._

_“I think they are getting to you Cap.”_

_Maria was startled out of her thoughts as she looked across the room to see Connor Ward sitting down on the floor staring at her._

_“Ward,” croaked out Maria barely above a whisper._

_Maria let out a shaky breath as she stared at the man.  Just a boy really.  The youngest on the team.  They had just celebrated his 21 st birthday._

_Maria remembered how pissed she was when her CO told her that they were assigning a newb to her team.  She didn’t have time to train a newb and she didn’t want the responsibility.  Her CO made it clear that she didn’t have a choice in the matter._

_Next day 19 year old, fresh-out-of-training, Connor Ward showed up at her tent.  Maria remembers thinking the kid must have been a late bloomer.  He was skinny and his cheek bones gave off a skeletal look.  He looked weak and scared._

_He placed his pack next to the open bunk and quietly said something to Braddock.  Braddock eyed the kid with a look of disbelief, probably wondering how the skinny kid even made it out of boot camp, let alone Special Forces training before pointing towards me._

_“She,” said Braddock stressing the word ‘she’ before pointing over to the table where Maria and Coulson were playing cards, “is over there.”_

_Maria stood from her chair and crossed her arms over her chest assessing the newest member of the team.  His reaction to a female captain will tell her everything she needs to know about the man.  She watched as Ward followed Braddock’s directions and walked towards her._

_He held out his hand, respect and a hint of fear in his eyes._

_“Captain Hill, my name is Connor Ward.  I have been assigned to your squad.”_

_The deep southern accent in the man’s voice surprised Maria.  She didn’t think such a low voice could come out of such a scrawny man.   The hand held out to her shook a little, out of nerves most likely.  Maria sighed but nodded to him before reaching out and shaking his hand.  The firm grip on her hand was also a surprise._

_“Welcome to the Black Angels.”_

_Over the next couple months she pretty much ignored Ward’s presence.  He was a liability to the team and she didn’t like that.  But there were some things about Ward that she couldn’t ignore.  Ward suffered from nightmares.  Ward barely ate. Ward never looked any of the men in the eye, especially when being berated._

_Ward also got close to Coulson, which was understandable.  Coulson always was the kindest out of all of them._

_One day during one of their nightly card game she asked Coulson how Ward was doing.  Coulson shook his head and told her “not well.”  Coulson then proceeded to tell her what he had learned about Ward.  Ward enlisted straight out of foster care.  His foster mother was not a nice lady and used the money that she received from the state on clothes and frivolous things. Coulson also suspected some major abuse issues, judging by the way Ward reacted to being yelled at._

_The next morning she, Coulson, Mathious and Ward were eating their breakfast at the table in their tent.  Every minute or so Maria would glance to her left to see Ward playing with his food._

_“Eat your food Ward,” the words left her mouth before she could stop them.  She avoided his gaze but could see out the corner of her eye Ward freezing and looking at her, surprise evident on his face.  It was, after all, the first words she has said to him in months._

_Maria sighed, setting her fork down before turning to him and nodding to his still full plate of food._

_“You clear that plate of food and I will take you out into the field today and show you the ropes.”_

_Ward continued looking at her with wide eyes but nodded._

_“I want every bite gone Ward, or your ass stays in the tent.”_

_Ward nodded again excitement now evident on his face._

_“Yes sir.”_

_Maria had to actively avoid Coulson’s knowing gaze for the rest of breakfast._

_…_

_“I think they are getting to you Cap.”_

_Ward repeated his words and Maria was pulled out of the memory as she stared at him for a second._

_“Remember that mission in Farah,” her voice was horse from not using it in days.  “We were pinned down for days.  I had a concussion and you stayed up with me all night to make sure I didn’t fall asleep.”_

_Ward nodded._

_“You read me poetry all night,” Maria let out a choked laugh as tears gathered in her eyes.  “Remember my favorite?”_

_Ward nodded again._

_Maria looked up at the ceiling and then closed her eyes as she struggled to remember the words._

_“Out of the night that covers me,” the words came out slowly, carefully making sure to get every word correct.  “Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul.”_

_“In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeoning’s of chance, my head is bloody, but unbowed.”_

_Maria paused, the words to the next line lost in her cloudy mind._

_“Beyond this place of wrath and tears,” said Ward picking up where she left off.  “Looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years, finds and shall find me unafraid.”_

_Maria nodded along to his words before bringing her gaze back to Ward.  They both spoke the last verse together._

_“It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll.  I am the master of my fate.  I am the captain of my soul.”_

_Maria let the silence filter back through the room, the words from the last line echoing in her mind._

_“I am the captain of my soul Ward,” bit out Maria nodding her head along to her words as if she were trying to convince herself of her own words.  “I won’t let them beat me.  I won’t let them win.  They won’t get to me.  I won’t let them.”_

_Ward sat silently across from her._

_They fell into a comfortable silence._

_“Cap, I think they are getting to you,” repeated Ward._

_“Stop saying that Ward!” roared Maria launching to her feet and walking over to him.  She stood over him and screamed._

_“They aren’t getting to me!”_

_Ward didn’t even flinch as she roared at him.  He got to his feet slowly and stared her in the eyes._

_“They are, Cap.” said Ward softly, his eyes softening as he stared at her._

_A broken sob left Maria’s throat as she stared at him, tears now streaming down her face._

_“Why do you keep saying that?” she cried out reaching out and pushing Ward._

_Ward easily caught her wrists in his hands and cradled them gently.  His thumbs rubbing soothing circles along her wrist._

_“Because I am dead, Cap.  I’m not real.”_

_Maria’s knees gave out from underneath her as she collapsed to the ground.  Her body shaking with exhaustion as her chest heaved out heavy cries.  She stared back up at Ward who was looking down at her, tears stains on his cheek._

_“Like I said, Cap.  I think they are getting to you.”_

Maria shot forward.

“Easy there Hill.”

Maria’s chest heaved with deep breaths but turned in the direction of the voice.  Nick Fury was sitting in a chair about five feet away from the bed she was currently laying in.  Maria gazed around the room trying to determine where she was at and how she got here.

“When the Quinjet landed you were still passed out,” supplied Fury obviously seeing the confusion on her face.  “Romanoff was adamant that you were to not wake up in medical.  I had you moved here.  It is an empty barrack.  Away from prying eyes.”

Maria sighed and swung her legs over the bed, noting the fact that she was in a pair of SHIELD issued sweatshirt and sweatpants.  She looked down at her clothes and then looked up to Fury.

“The medic’s cut your clothes off you,” said Fury.  “Romanoff also put those on you.  She figured you didn’t need to wake up with nothing on,” Fury shrugged.

Maria nodded at Fury’s words.  She sighed as she rolled her shoulders and stretched out her back, wincing at the soreness in her body.  She felt as if she had been run over by a Humvee.

“You want to tell me how you were shot five times yet there is not a single wound on your body?”

Fury’s words had Maria stopping her stretching, her arms falling limply to her side and bringing her gaze up to Fury.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” muttered Maria pushing herself to her feet.  “Ross didn’t tell me what he was doing to me and why.  He just did it.”

Fury didn’t outwardly react to Maria’s words but Maria could see the man was not happy with her answer.  Whether he wasn’t happy about her lack of information or what was done to her, she didn’t know.

“You probably know more than me, Fury.  I find it hard to believe that you didn’t run any tests while I was out.”

Fury stiffened and leveled her with a glare as he stood.

“Contrary to popular belief Hill, I believe a man’s word still has some hold to it."

Maria scoffed. 

“Come one Fury, you are a spy.  You are _thee_ spy.  Your secrets have secrets.  That doesn’t leave a lot of room for a man’s word.”

Fury glared at Maria. 

“We did not conduct any tests on you,” bit out Fury, the anger in his voice made known.  “Check the log.  Check the surveillance.  You have the clearance.  If you don’t believe me then see for yourself.”

Maria clenched her jaw and looked away from Fury trying to hold back her anger.

“Agent Romanoff reported that the doctor on the Quinjet wanted to take a blood sample to examine it,” said Fury his words bringing Maria’s gaze back to him.  “The Agents including Agent Romanoff would not let her without your permission.  It seems that your actions today earned you some allies.”

Fury watched as Hill continued to stare at him.  She didn’t give a verbal acknowledgement of his words but Fury could see the chip on Hill’s shoulder loosen.

“You want to tell me what happened out there?”

It took a few seconds but Maria nodded, her body relaxing, slightly.

“Hammer created drones…”

“I know what happened with Hammer and Vanko,” interrupted Fury. 

Maria shut her mouth and her head tilted just slightly, confused by Fury’s statement.  What did Fury mean by his question if he didn’t want to know about what happened at the expo?

Maria heard Fury sigh before stepping towards her, stopping just a few feet from her and looking at her with a knowing gaze. 

“You want to tell me about your PTSD attack both in the field and in the med transport?”

Maria froze.  The dread creeps over her like an icy chill, numbing her brain.  In this frozen state of mind she can only seem to process one thought—stop! 

The world doesn’t comply.  It can’t.  It can’t go back or slow down.  Each second of silence after Fury’s question drags Maria forward, helplessly towards something she had been avoiding for years.  But now, in this moment, she can no more avoid it than the beating of her own heart as it pounds furiously against her chest.  Time doesn’t stop for anyone, it certainly won’t stop today—it was time to face her demons.

“Hill…”

“They vary,” interrupted Maria looking away from Fury as she spoke.  Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper.  “Most of them are harmless.  Something will trigger a memory and I will see things that aren’t real.  Most of the time I see my team.” 

Maria paused trying to will away the tears from her eyes.  She took a steadying breath before continuing. 

“Those ones aren’t so bad.  Honestly, I think I secretly like when I have them.  Seeing their faces again…even just for a few seconds…it’s almost like they never left.”

Maria sighed with frustration as the tears she fought so hard to keep back fell from her eyes and traveled down her face.  She clenched her jaw and angrily wiped away at the tears before turning to Fury.

“The ones of the blacksite are when I get out of control.  It feels like I am there all over again.  The needles, the scalpels, their hands…” Maria’s voice trailed off and she had to take a few steadying breaths to gather her raging emotions. 

“I won’t go back there.   Whether it is real or not…I will fight like hell before I let them touch me again.”

Maria scanned Fury’s face for a reaction as the silence hung in the air like a suspended moment that Maria knew would eventually fall.  She expected Fury was going to tell her she was done.  That due to her mental health status he would be relieving her of her duties as Deputy Director.  It was understandable after all. 

So, she waited.  The boot would drop, it always did.  The security blanket she felt while working for SHIELD would be ripped from her grasp and she would be thrown back to the wolves.  Ross and his henchman would find her and they would take her back.

Fury opened his mouth and Maria clenched her eyes shut, bracing herself for the inevitable.

“Every Tuesday and Thursday there is a group in conference room D from 1900 hours to 2030.  Coulson started it about 5 years ago.  You will be going to every session as long as you are SHIELD Agent.”

Maria’s eyes shot open at Fury’s words.   

“What...how…what are you…” Maria stuttered out not being able to put her thoughts into words as her mind struggled to process Fury’s words.

Fury leveled her with a look and repeated.

 “Every Tuesday and Thursday, Hill.  Be there.”

Fury then turned on his heels and moved across the room towards the door, ignoring her look of disbelief as he went. 

Maria didn’t watch him go.  Instead, she looked off into the distance trying to wrap her head around what just transpired.

“Oh and Hill,” said Fury about halfway from the door.

Maria was pulled out of her thoughts at his voice as she brought her gaze back to him.  She watched as Fury’s calculated eye dragged down her body before coming back up to meet her gaze.

“I am glad you are okay.”

The sincerity in his voice was evident.    

They stared at each other in silence for a few seconds, neither one of them liking the _good feeling_ moment between them. 

Fury cleared his throat and gave her a stiff nod before turning to walk out the door leaving the uncomfortable moment and the equally uncomfortable Deputy Director in his wake.

Maria watched him go.  The door was almost shut behind him as his voice carried back into the room.

“Get yourself cleaned up Hill.  You look like shit.”

Maria let out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding.  Fury was an ass again.  Everything was once again right in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...let me know that you think!


	6. The Cufflink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all the comments! I am glad you are all enjoying the story! Please continue to comment and let me know what you think. Also, feel free to shoot me any ideas or anything you would like to see develoip in the story.

Maria made it to her quarters relatively quickly.  She quickly peeled off her clothes and grimaced at the dried and still sticky blood on them.  She threw them in the trash before making her way into the bathroom.  She unclipped her sunglasses and set them to the side. 

Closing her eyes she sighed and placed her hands on the countertop, letting her body lean heavily against it.  After a few relaxing moments she opened her eyes and stared down at her body.  What she saw made her instantly frown.

She was drenched in blood.

To Maria blood was no more interesting than any other mess that needed cleaning.  She couldn’t pinpoint the exact day blood became just blood, nothing more.  Overtime, being around blood just became part of the job.  It didn’t matter if it was hers, her teams or the enemies it was all the same.  Seeing blood or having blood on her clothes, caked on her skin, under her nails and in her hair, it just became normal. 

But as she stared down at her body she couldn’t help but feel dirty…wrong.   Dark red blood was smeared all over her body, heavier in the places she was shot.  It was too dark for red, too light for maroon.  As she stared at it, she couldn’t help but wonder if there is a name for that color. 

A shaky hand reached down and touched her abdomen.  She felt the pain of the bullet when it sliced through her body but there was no wound.  The only evidence that she was in fact shot were the heavier patches of wet and dry blood that stuck to her skin around the healed wound. 

Maria sighed again as she brought her gaze up to fully, with the intention of turning to turn on the shower but what she saw staring back at her in mirror had her frozen.  She stared for a few moments and before she knew it a small sob worked its way up her throat and she had to brace herself against the countertop as her knees tried to crumble from beneath her.  Her gaze never left the mirror through it all.  She couldn’t look away even if she tried.

A thing of nightmares was staring back at her.

A monster.

A monster with black eyes. 

A monster covered in blood.

A hand suddenly appeared and clasped over her mouth. 

Maria screamed into the hand as she stared at her reflection to see Ross standing behind her, grinning cruelly.  He wrapped his hand around her middle as she fought against his grip.  His hand now coated with blood as he fought to get a good grip on her. 

Ross removed his hand from her mouth and quickly wrapped his forearm around her neck.  He tightened his hold and smiled as Maria choked for breath.

“You’re…not…real…”

Ross ignored her words and turned his head, nuzzling the side of her face as he whispered.

**“My beautiful monster.”**

“You’re…not really…here.”

**“My heartless…”**

“No!”

**“Ruthless…”**

“You’re not…real!”

**“Cruel…”**

“Stop!”

**“Unmerciful…”**

“STOP IT!”

**“Beautiful monster.”**

“Please…”

**“You are everything I hoped you would be.”**

“NO!!!”

Maria broke from his grasp and turned quickly swinging at him with all her might.  He was gone as soon as she turned but it was too late to stop the punch.  It sailed through void space and crashed into the shower glass. 

The shower door shattered, the shards of glass forming an explosive arc around her fist before flying around the room.  The sound of the breaking glass echoed through the small bathroom but Maria couldn’t hear it.  Ross’s words echoed loudly in her mind as if he was still there whispering them into her ears.

Her right hand now lay limply at her side blood pouring from the deep wounds running across her knuckles. 

With eyes that could cry no more, she turned to the shower.  Reaching forward with a zombie like fashion she turned the water on.  The weight of _everything_ seemed to press down on Maria’s shoulder.  The action of a single step seemed too much.  All of it seemed too much.  Somehow, she put one foot in front of the other.  But with every step across the jagged glass the darkness within her grew.  Pain radiated up from her feet but she could barely feel it as the pain in her chest was greater.  Everything…all of it, seemed to grow in strength and as Maria’s body finally reached the powerful water spray, she opened her eyes to look down as red water pooled.

She stood there for some time before a voice pulled her from her dark thoughts.

“Maria…”

Maria flinched at the voice but she turned her head to the direction of it. 

Phil Coulson was standing in her bathroom.  A frown marred his face as he stared at her, his blue eyes that always held a spark of life, just like his brothers were now dull.  Blue eyes that always shined were now clouded with a deep sadness. 

“Phil…”

Coulson’s frown deepened as he continued to stare at her.  He moved slowly, glass cracking under his shoes.  He never broke eye contact with her as he moved closer.

“Phil…” she sobbed unable to move.  “He was here…he was here…his hands they were on me.  He was touching me…”

“Shh…” said Coulson soothingly reaching forward.

“I could feel his hands…” her legs gave out from beneath her.

Coulson moved quickly and stepped into the shower grabbing her before she could fall. 

“I got you,” he whispered into her hair as he cradled her to his chest.

Maria let out a choked sob her hands gripping the lapels of his suit jacket tightly.

“I got you,” he repeated bending down to place and arm under her legs before scooping her up into his arms. 

“Your safe here Maria.  He isn’t here.  He was never here.”

Coulson carried her out of the bathroom, cautiously, careful to not slip on glass and his now wet shoes.  He reached her bedroom and placed her gently on the bed.  Keeping a firm hand on her back so that she kept sitting up, with his free hand he reached and grabbed a blanket wrapping it around her shoulders and tucking it under her chin.

After making sure she was effectively covered Coulson then moved to sit on the bed next to her before scooting back till his back is against the wall. 

He waited.

Coulson watched as Maria body slowly started to fall.  It takes about 30 seconds before her head is fully resting against his leg.   Moving slowly, he placed his hand on her head, gently running his hand through her hair.

“Tell me,” he whispers.

Coulson closes his eyes as the words come tumbling out of her. 

**“Matt…Ward…White…Blood.”**

Her words are crowded together and some are missing.  Her sentences are fragmented as her thoughts seem to be jumping. 

**“Ross…Ruthless…Cruel…Monster.”**

All her fears are tumbling out unchecked by her brain, as if she is in some kind of mental free-fall.  Her fingers dug painfully into his leg and he reached forward with his hand and freed her grasp only for her to clench to his hand.

Finally, after some time, she went still. 

Coulson continued to run his hands through her hair as he leaned his head back against the wall.

“Get some sleep Maria.  I will take first watch.”

The only response he got was the squeeze of his hand.  He continued to run his fingers through her hair until the grip on his hand was now almost nonexistent.  Coulson let out a long breath as he stared up at the ceiling willing away the tears from his eyes.  This wasn’t the first time he has had to do this by no means but it didn’t make it any easier. 

Sighing he turned his head, his eyes instantly coming to rest on a five by seven photo of the Black Angels on Maria’s nightstand.  Coulson had the same picture in his apartment. It was the one he had given to her.  The picture was taken during leave and they were in his brother’s backyard.  All six of them smiling. 

Coulson quickly found his brother in the picture.  Matt was the only one not staring at the camera.  Instead he was staring to his right, his eyes on Maria Hill.  The love in his eyes shining brightly.  She was his sister.  She was his best friend. 

Coulson’s vision clouded with unshed tears as he stared at the picture of his brother.  He brought his gaze back down to the now sleeping Maria, his hand continuing to run his fingers through her hair, before bringing his gaze back to his brother.

“Don’t worry Matt.  I got her.”

*******

Maria’s eye lids slowly opened, leaden with exhaustion only to snap open violently as the memory of the previous night came crashing down.  She moved up to a sitting position, the blanket around her pooling at her hips.  A shiver ran through her body as she realized she was still completely naked. 

“Computer what time is it?” croaked out Maria, blearily staring around her room, noting the absence of Phil.

“It is 0300 hours Deputy Director Hill,” echoed the computer.

The bathroom door suddenly opened and Maria jumped at the sound.  She turned her head to see Phil walking out of the bathroom, his eyes looking down at his hands, whipping them with a towel.  Maria’s eyes zeroed in on the red stains that marred the pure white towel. 

Phil finished wiping his hands and looked up.  He froze as he noticed her eyes on him. 

Maria let out an audible sigh as she turned to place her feet on the ground to face Phil.  The blanket was still pooled around her middle.  She was never shy about her body, especially around Phil.  Last night was not the first time Phil has seen her naked.  No, the man unfortunately has seen her naked far too many times by now. 

“The bathroom is all cleaned up,” said Phil stepping forward and throwing the blood stained towel into the trash before turning to her.

“You good?”

It was a simple question, yet one that could not be answered simply.  Her brain felt like an extinguished fire.  It once burnt bright.  She once knew of happiness and light.  Now, her mind was dark.  The burnt tinder of what she once was now lay in a pile of ashes, nothing to renew that spark. 

“I’m good,” she lied, her voice not very convincing. 

Maria could see that Phil recognized the uncertainty in her tone but thankfully didn’t comment on it.  Sighing she stood up and walked to her locker.  Pulling out a pair of underwear and bra she slipped them on quickly before reaching for her workout gear.

“It’s 0300 Maria,” said Phil behind her.  He must have noticed that she was slipping on her workout gear.  “You should sleep.  You have been through a lot within the last 24 hours.”

Maria, whom already had her shirt and shorts on then reached for a pair of sweatpants, bending down she slipped them on.

“You know I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

The silence that greeted her statement was the only recognition she needed to know that Phil understood.  She slipped on her work out shoes and tying them.

“The security protocol worked well then?”

She heard Phil move closer to her.

“Yes,” he answered.  “Your computer alerted me to your distress in an appropriate time frame.  I had no trouble accessing your office or room.  The protocol worked just as it was designed.”

Maria led out a dark laugh at his words.  The fact that a security protocol had to be designed so that she didn’t hurt herself or anyone during one of her ‘episodes’ still ate away at her.  Phil suggested it the first day she was on the ship.  He had apparently been playing with the idea for a while.  It wouldn’t be hard to download a protocol with Maria’s A.I. assistant.  

She fought the idea at first but then Phil brought up Boston and Detroit. 

“ _What if an episodes like Boston or Detroit happen on the helicarrier?”_

Phil’s question echoed through her mind. 

She didn’t have an answer to it.  The fact that she didn’t have an answer was the only reason she agreed to the safety protocol being placed in her room. 

Maria finished the tie on her shoe before standing up and walking towards her nightstand.  Her glasses were resting on it next to the framed picture of her team.  She reached down and grabbed her glasses, her hand pausing on them.  Her fingers extended on top of the glasses, her fingertips now lightly touching the glass over their faces.   

_“Come on guys we’re a family!  We should take a family picture!” cried out Coulson looking at the reluctant team sitting around in lawn chairs with beers in hand all staring at him with looks of disbelief._

_“Coulson, if we are a family then we are the most jacked up family I have ever seen,” laughed Braddock pausing as he took a heavy swig from his Budweiser._

_“I am a 6’5 black man from the Bronx.”_

_He pointed his bottle towards Mathious, “and then a 5’5 Mexican!”_

_“I am Hispanic, Braddock! How many times have I told you to stop calling me a Mexican!  I was born in Nevada you prick!”_

_Braddock’s smirk on his face told everyone that he knew that but always liked to rile up Mathious._

_“And I am 5’7 you asshole!”_

_Braddock laughed at that but moved on a pointed towards Garrison._

_“And then we have ‘Larry the Lumberjack” over there,” said Braddock eyeing up Garrison cautiously.  He was after all the only other person on the team, besides Cap, that could beat him in a fight.  “Seriously Garrison, how long are you going to let that beard grow?  No shave November ended 8 months ago!”_

_Garrison laughed at Braddock’s words as he leaned back in his chair stroking his very impressive reddish-brown beard._

_“You’re just jealous Braddock.  We all know that when you try and grow yours out it just looks like someone just glued a bunch of pubes to your face!”_

_Braddock scoffed at his words._

_“Fuck you Garrison.  I can grow a beard!”_

_“Mhmm…sure you can,” answered Garrison leaning back in his chair and drinking his beer, some of the beer escaping from his lips and traveling down into his beard._

_Braddock narrowed his eyes at Garrison but nonetheless moved on till his eyes were on Ward._

_“And then there is ‘Gentle Ben’ over there,” said Braddock eyeing Ward up with a look of disbelief.  “The best damn marksmen on the team but always last to fire his gun.  And by the way Ward, you better not bring one more stray dog into our tent.   That last mutt you brought chewed up my good boots!”_

_Ward didn’t comment but the sheepish smile on his face told Braddock that he felt sorry about the boots but also told him that despite his warning, a dog would be gracing their tent as soon as they got back._

_“And you Coulson!” started Braddock turning his eyes to Coulson.  “The Captain America of the twenty-first century.  Seriously Coulson your obsession with the guy is borderline ridiculous.  Those vintage trading cards that you keep in your personals are worth a fortune!  You need to sell those babies and finally buy your wife a new house!”_

_“Thank you Warren!” called a voice from inside the house._

_Braddock ignored the look glare that Coulson was throwing him as he stared over Coulson’s shoulder to see his wife, Jennifer coming out of the back door with more beer in hand._

_“Welcome Jen!” smiled Braddock before turning his eyes back to Coulson and giving him a smirk._

_“And then there is Cap,” said Braddock turning his eyes from Coulson to his Captain._

_The raised eyebrow and warning look in her blue eyes had him second guessing this game._

_Braddock held up his hands in surrender and then spoke._

_“Who is perfect in every way and is never a problem.”_

_“Damn right!” said Maria smirking as she raised her bottle to Braddock before taking a drink._

_“You pussy Braddock!”_

_“Lies!”_

_“Man up!”_

_Braddock ignored them all as he took a couple heavy swigs of his beer, draining the bottle._

_“Look all I am saying is that if we are a family then we are the most dysfunctional family there ever was.  I mean look at us,” exclaimed Braddock looking around the team.  “We are all so different!   I still don’t know how we haven’t ended up murdering each other.  I know I have certainly thought about it with Mathious over there,” he paused to glare at Mathious.  “Thinking he is the next Selena, sings in the shower Every. Fucking. Morning!”_

_“Fuck you Braddock.  I sing like an angel and you know it!”_

_“It’s like nails on a chalkboard!”_

_Everyone watched Braddock and Mathious trade words for a few minutes, smiles on their faces.  A stranger could instantly realize that was a common occurrence between the group._

_“I never had a family.”_

_Braddock and Mathious went quiet and everyone turned to the voice that spoke._

_Ward was a man of little words and often just sat in comfortable silence around the team.  Ward didn’t stare at any of them after he spoke.  He just sat there, beer in hand staring at the fire pit burning in the middle of them._

_“My birthmother was a drug addict.  Cocaine that was her weakness. She didn’t even stop when she found out she was pregnant much to the dismay of my social worker. Apparently my social worker had a whole bunch of families willing to take me in but no one wanted me after I was born. I was born an addict and no one wants a screaming baby begging for cocaine twenty-four seven.”_

_“So I went into the system, bounced around from foster home to foster home until I aged out.  Fifteen foster homes.  Fifteen foster mothers or fathers.  I’ve had foster sisters and brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles…grandparents, all of them claiming to be my family, but none of them were.  They were all cruel and horrible people who couldn’t even take care of themselves let alone a child.”_

_“I never had a family,” repeated Ward before looking up from the fire to look every single one of them in the eye._

_“Until now.”_

_He turned his eyes towards Braddock who was silently staring at Ward with wide eyes._

_“Family isn’t about the blood you share.  It’s about those willing to bleed for you.  I would bleed for you and you would for me, despite our differences.  That’s what makes you my brother,” he paused to stare at the men around the room before landing on his Captain, “and my sister.”_

_Ward brought his gaze back to the fire._

_“That’s what makes us family.”_

A hand on her shoulder had her jumping as she turned to see Coulson looking at her, concern evident in his blue eyes.

“You sure you’re good?”

Maria sighed as she reached up and clipped her glasses in place. 

“No,” she whispered softly.  “I’m not good.   I will never be good.”

She reached out and placed a comforting hand on Phil’s shoulder.

“But I will be better after I work out.”

*******

Maria pushed open the gym door and walked towards the bags.  It was 0330 and Natasha was still working the bags.  She was sweaty and breathing deeply. 

Maria didn’t interrupt her this time she simply walked towards the bag next to Natasha and put her gloves on.   Maria could hear the slight pause in Natasha’s workout as she walked by but ignored it.  There was barely a pause after all before Natasha went back to her workout.  Maria put her gloves on, checked them over and then went to work.  The sound of her punches now joined Natasha’s. 

The two worked out in a comfortable silence for some time. 

Maria was finally getting warm when she realized the sound of Natasha’s punches were now nonexistent.  She paused in her workout and turned her head to look around her bag.  Her eyes were instantly greeted with Natasha standing next to her bag, her chest heaving in rapid breaths, green eyes staring at the swaying bag.

The way that her eyes looked as she stared at the bag was haunting to the say the least.  It was as if the usual fire that Maria had gotten so used to seeing in those green eyes was now doused with water, making the once vibrant green looking more pale.  Her pale green eyes tracked the swaying bag, their movement was slow, as if they were weighed down by some invisible force.

Maria’s feet began to move and she was already five feet from Natasha before her brain even fully recognizes that she moved at all.  She stops a safe distance from the woman. 

Maria stares at Natasha for a few moments.  The frozen stance, the emotionless mask, the haunting eyes, Maria knew what was happening.  She knew this look better than most.  Maria moved closer now, stopping three feet away.  She was now standing almost right next to her but to Natasha she might as well been on the moon.  Where Natasha was right now, time and distance didn’t exist. 

“Romanoff,” said Maria trying but failing to get her attention. 

Maria sighed but tried again, differently this time.

“Natasha.”

Maria watched her closely.  Natasha didn’t outwardly acknowledge her words but Maria could see a slight tick in her jaw. 

“Want to spar?” asked Maria hoping this would get a better reaction.

Maria was surprised by the quickness in which Natasha turned her head towards her.  Her pale green eyes seemed to be boring holes into Maria’s head.  She stood their silently, just staring at Maria before giving her a shaky nod.

Maria let out a breath as Natasha turned from her and walked towards the ring.  Natasha entered the ring without her usual grace before walking towards the middle of the ring.  She reached the middle and turned to stare at Maria, an emotional mask still in place.

Maria moved forward and slipped into the ring.  Just as her right foot joined her left on the mat Natasha attacked.  Maria barely had any time to dodge the impending assault.  The distinct sound of a fist moving quickly past her face sounded in her ears before she rolled out of the way.

She didn’t even make it to her feet before a rapid kick moved towards her head.  Maria brought up her forearm and blocked it.  She rotated quickly on her knees to avoid a punch to the face only then to have to bring her forearms up directly after to block a Natasha’s knee from colliding with her chest.  Maria continued to spin on her knees, trying to get to her feet while also stopping Natasha’s furious attack. 

They went on like this for close to twenty minutes.  Natasha furiously attacking Maria, not letting her up from her knees and Maria doing anything she could to block everything directed towards her.  Maria knew she wouldn’t last much longer in this position and couldn’t continue to fend of Natasha’s attacks from her knees.  Natasha was exploiting every weakness Maria had in this position and was using it to her advantage.  Maria was already sporting a bleeding lip and nose from a couple well placed punches and kicks that Maria was too slow to block. 

Maria saw Natasha’s leg come up for another kick and knew instantly what she needed to do.  She let Natasha’s leg sweep past her defenses and connect with her ribs.  She felt her ribs crack under the powerful kick and bit back a cry while quickly moving her arm down to pin Natasha’s leg to her body. 

She quickly turned to the side, and with Natasha’s leg still pinned to her body she was able to take them both to the ground.  Maria made quick work of the situation to roll on top of Natasha pinning her to the ground with her body.

Natasha’s legs came up to wrap around Maria’s middle, squeezing to the point of almost taking Maria’s breath away. Maria’s ribs flared in pain at the feeling but held fast as she continued to pin Natasha to the mat.  Natasha was now moving her hands and trying to grip at Maria’s clothes, trying to get some sort of leverage to break grew.

Maria didn’t budge.  She held fast and knocking Natasha’s hands away from getting a good grip on her and moving her body fluidly on top of Natasha, stopping the woman from getting any upper hand.  Natasha let out an almost feral growl below her and Maria looked down to see the spark was back in Natasha’s eyes.  Bright green eyes stared up at her with a dangerous glint to them. 

Maria couldn’t help the shiver that ran down her spine at the sound that came from Natasha’s throat and the almost predatory look in Natasha’s eyes.  Natasha fought even harder to break from Maria’s grasp.  Natasha succeeded at flipping them only to find herself quickly flipped to her back once again, much to her frustration. 

They stayed in this position for another ten minutes.  Maria fighting to keep control over the situation and Natasha doing everything within her power to get out from underneath her.  Maria could see and feel Natasha’s fight leaving her body after another failed attempt to escape.  

Natasha gave one last attempt, failing and then sighing in defeat.  Maria felt the tap on her shoulder directly after.  She quickly rolled off Natasha and then to her back, breathing heavily next to an equally exhausted Natasha. 

They laid there in silence.  The only sound coming from both of them was just their labored breathing. 

“How’s the rib?” gasped out Natasha.

Maria shifted and reached with her hand to tentatively touch her ribs noting there was no pain. 

“Healed,” gasped out Maria clonking her arm back to the matt in exhaustion.

Natasha shifted before pushing herself up to a sitting position, groaning as she did.  She wrapped her arms around her knees then stared down at Maria.

“Trouble sleeping again?”

Maria let out a large sigh as she turned her head towards Natasha.

“You could say that,” she answered. “You?”

Natasha nodded at her words, looking down at her giving her a half smile.  “You could say that,” she repeated Maria’s answer. 

Maria snorted at her answer before turning her head back away to stare up at the ceiling.

“You are a good sparring partner.”

“I could say the same thing about you.  Next time I will have you on your back though.”

Maria couldn’t help but laugh at that comment.  Natasha was too cocky for her own good sometimes. 

“You seem very confident in your abilities there, Romanoff.”

“I am good at pretty much everything but there are a few things that I excel at that I can afford to be confident about, fighting being one of them.”   Natasha had a grin on her face when she said it.

“Besides fighting what else do you excel at?”  Maria asked wanting to learn more about the woman. 

Maria watched Natasha’s smile once again disappear and now turn into a frown.  “You read my file you know what I excel at,” said Natasha a little softly for Maria liking as Natasha turned her head to stare off into the distance. 

“I actually didn’t read your file.”

Maria watched as her comment brought Natasha’s head around to stare at her with disbelieving eyes. 

Maria shrugged, “I read everyone’s but yours.  After the shower incident…” Maria’s words trailed off, uncomfortable with how the conversation was going, “it didn’t feel right knowing so much about you when you knew nothing about me.”

They stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Natasha slowly lowered herself back to the ground, placing herself next to Maria, their shoulders touching.  Natasha’s eyes were on the ceiling as they fell into a comfortable silence. 

“My file is not pretty,” said Natasha a slight hitch in her voice as she spoke.

Maria turned her head to stare at Natasha.

 “Neither is mine.”

 “I have done horrible things,” whispered Natasha still staring up at the ceiling, her eyes clouding over with emotion.

Maria lost her breath at the emotion’s that shined in Natasha’s eyes.  Pain.  Anger. Sorrow. 

“I have had horrible things done to me.”

The words left Maria’s mouth before she could stop them.  Her words seemed to echo through the gym as Natasha turned her head to stare at Maria.  Their faces just inches apart.  

 “That man…” said Natasha her eyes assessing her carefully, clearly trying to gauge her reaction, “the General at the Stark Expo.”

Maria’s jaw clenched at her words before turning her head away from Natasha to stare at the ceiling.    

“Yes.”

Maria did not expand further. 

She heard Natasha move next to her and brought her eyes back to her.  She watched as Natasha pulled out a chain from underneath her shirt and her fingers playing with some circular pendant at the end of it.  Her eyes concentrating on the pendent.   

 “When I was four years old my parents died in a car crash.  I was put in a foster home as I had no other living relatives.  One day a man came and took me away.  I was taken to this facility with other small girls.  It was scary and a few of them were crying.  They were killed first.  It was a statement.  Weakness would not be tolerated.  ”

“The Red Room was a KGB espionage training program designed to train female spies.  I was there for thirteen years.  I was trained to fight, to manipulate, to seduce, and to kill.  When I was eight years old they put a man in front of me.  He was on his knees crying.  I couldn’t see his face, they kept it covered with a bag but I could hear him.  He was begging for mercy.  They put a gun in my hand and ordered me to kill him.  I refused.”  A ghostly smile formed on Natasha’s face as she continued. “I was very stubborn child.”

The smile quickly faded as she continued, her eyes darkened and her mouth formed into a thin line.

“They were determined to beat the stubbornness out of me.  I remember their large black boots.  I can still remember the smell of them and the way they felt when they collided with my body.  Sometimes they would stomp on me so hard the tread marks would actual form a patterned bruised on my legs and stomach.”

“Every day they would drag me out of my room and place me in front of that man and every day I would refuse, only to be dragged back to my room and beat again.”

“One day during my daily beating one of the men.  He lost his cufflink.  The beating was worse that day and when they left I could barely move.  My eyes, they were swollen shut.  But I saw it…” Natasha’s voice cracking slightly.  “We weren’t allowed to have personal objects.  One time on of the girls was caught with a button.  They made us watch as they melted the button into the flesh of her back with a blow torch before putting a bullet in her head.”

“I knew I shouldn’t keep it.  If they found me with it they would kill me.” Said Natasha as she turned her head and staring at Maria for the first time since she started talking. 

“The next day they brought me in front of that man. He wasn’t crying anymore.  He never begged.  It was as if he just gave up.  They put the gun in my hand and I didn’t even hesitate.  I shot him.” 

Maria watched as Natasha lifted her head and lifted the necklace over her head.  Natasha folded it into her hand before reaching over and grabbing Maria’s hand.  She ran her fingertips over Maria’s hand for a few seconds before flipping it over palm up.  Reaching up with her other she placed the necklace in Maria’s hand and then folded her fingers over it.  Natasha kept her hands on Maria’s hand, keeping Maria’s fingers closed.

“You should have seen the satisfied looks on their faces when I shot him.  They thought they won.  That they finally beat the stubbornness out of me.”  Natasha removed her hands.  She looked down at Maria’s clenched fist and then back up to Maria’s face. 

Maria stared into Natasha’s eyes for a few seconds before opening her palm.  She brought her hand up to her face and let the necklace drop from her fingertips.  The pendant was dangling inches from her face.  It took her a second to realize the pendant was in fact a silver cufflink on the chain.   The cufflink itself had a red star decorating the middle.  

“They never broke me.  Every time I killed for them, every time they beat me, I had that in my pocket.”  Natasha paused as she nodded down towards the cufflink dangling from Maria’s hand.   “That small object was my secret form of rebellion.  It reminded me that no matter what they did…I would not be broken.”

The two stood laid there in silence.  Maria processing Natasha’s story and Natasha trying to put back the haunted memories she kept stored away in the back of her mind. 

Maria moved first offering the cufflink back to Natasha but Natasha shook her head.  Reaching forward she folded Maria’s fingers over the cufflink. 

“Keep it,” she whispered.  “Let it be for you what it was for me.”

Maria stared at her in confusion.

“Let it remind you that no matter what that man did to you.  He never broke you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think!


	7. PHASE I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have loved reading all of you comments! Please know that I enjoy every single one of them and have a giant smile on my face as read them. I love that you love this story! I hope you enjoy this new chapter and I can't wait to hear back from you!

The incident in the gym was on Friday and since that day Maria has spent the weekend and all day Monday holed up on her office.  It was now Tuesday afternoon and she still has only put a small dent in the paperwork on her desk since she sat down to work three days ago.  If Fury would have told her that this much paperwork was involved with the Deputy Director position when he asked her to take it she might have said no. 

She sighed as she stared at the stack of papers that seemed never ending.  They were on a paperless system, why did she even have this many forms on her desk?  She checked her que in the computer to see 189 forms awaiting her signature.  Great.

She understood that it always wouldn’t be like this.  The Stark Expo, Thor in New Mexico and now finding Captain America in the ice, yes it has been a _very_ busy couple of days.  The paperwork that involved just one incident was enough to make her eyeballs bleed but three!?  This was just ridiculous. 

Deciding to take a break Maria sat back in her chair and accessed SHIELD’s mainframe, looking at case files, reports, ops and new technology…anything that could take her mind off of filling out another requisition form.   Maria continued through the mainframe not much really catching her eye.

**A new prototype for a tranquilizer weapon called the Night-Night Gun.**

**Information on the Tesseract found with Captain America.**

**Project T.A.H.I.T.I**

**Avengers Initiative (PHASE I) - SCRAPPED**

“The Avenger’s Initiative,” mumbled Maria staring at the file on the mainframe and then to the large red words of SCRAPPED **,** next to the file.  Clicking the info the file she was surprised to find that the Initiative was scrapped by The Council and replaced with a project called PHASE II. 

Anything that The Council had their hands in greatly intrigued Maria.  She has never met any of them but Fury has hinted that they were “difficult.”  Now with her attention finally gained she clicked on the file and opened it.  The file itself was easy to access with her now level 10 clearance that was just granted to her last week. 

 

**AVENGERS INITIATIVE**  
  
---  
  
**PRELIMINARY**

**REPORT**  
  
---  
  
**SCRAPPED**  
  
---  
  
 

 

**HAWKEYE**

**Real** **Name** : Clinton Francis “Clint” Barton

 **Height** : 6’3

 **Weight** : 230 lbs.

 

Clint Barton possesses no superhuman powers. Barton is a skilled marksman with an exceptional ability in archery. He possesses the normal human strength of a man of his age, height, and build who engages in intense regular exercise and is considered athletic. He also possesses a custom-made bow, a modernized quick-release quiver, and a number of specialty arrows. Barton is able to fire six arrows faster than the average human can fire six bullets and is known to be a master archer with extraordinarily fast reflexes, exceptional dexterity, and near-perfect aim. He is also an excellent all-around marksman, well versed in conventional firearms, and possibly has an uncanny knack for using miscellaneous hand-held objects as projectile weapons. Barton is a veteran espionage operative, a formidable physical combatant, and an experienced fighter pilot.

 

  *   **Master Archer:**  Barton has trained himself to become a master archer specializing in the use of regular bows, longbows, compound bows, and crossbows with near-perfect accuracy. He is capable of firing multiple arrows at a single target in a few seconds, hitting multiple targets in a few quick strokes, and hit small targets in the greatest of distances. As Hawkeye, he practices a minimum of two hours per day to keep his skills honed.
  *   **Expert Marksman:**  He possesses very keen eyesight, and his accuracy is virtually unerring; he was trained in his youth by Trick Shot with throwing blades, balls, bolas, and boomerangs. He now has near-perfect precision with any aimed or thrown weapon. He can hurl objects with extreme speed and accuracy, both in direct aim and complicated rebounds/interactions.
  *   **Expert Acrobat:**  Barton possesses exceptional human strength, endurance, and stamina. He is athletic, with very good reflexes and agility. This, combined with training as an aerialist and acrobat, makes him capable of complex acrobatic maneuvers.
  *   **Expert Fighter:**  Barton is an excellent combatant, having been trained in various styles.
  *   **Expert Strategist:**  Barton has been trained in military tactics under the training and service of the Army as a Ranger before operating with S.H.I.E.L.D.



 

**BLACK WIDOW**

**Real** **Name** : Natalia Alianovna Romanova

 **SHIELD NAME** : Natasha Romanoff

 **Height** : 5’5

 **Weight** : 136 lbs.

Natasha Romanoff was trained and raised by the Red Room, a KGB espionage training program designed to train female spies. Natasha Romanoff is extensively trained in combat. She is also fluent in multiple languages as well as being more than competent at computers and psychology. She is also deceptively strong, though not superhuman. The Black Widow is a master martial artist, an expert markswoman, a natural actress, an infamous seductress, and a gifted veteran spy.

  *   **Master Martial Artist:**  Romanoffis an expert in the field of martial arts. She has mastered karate, judo, aikido, savate, boxing, lucha-libre style wrestling and multiple styles of kung fu. Combined with her strength, speed and agility, this makes her very deadly.
  *   **Expert Acrobat:**  She is an Olympic class athlete, gymnast, acrobat and aerialist capable of many difficult feats.
  *   **Expert Marksman:**  Romanoffis a very accurate marksman skilled in sharpshooting and knife throwing.
  *   **Multilingual:**  She is fluent in Latin, Russian, English, French, German, Chinese, and various other languages.
  *   **Expert Tactician:**  She is a very effective strategist, tactician, and field commander.
  *   **Master Interrogator:** Romanoff’s skill in psychology and her ability to control her emotions allows her to manipulate situations and people in order to access information.
  *   **Talented Hacker:**  Romanoff can hack into most computer systems without tripping any firewalls or security.
  *   **Master Seductress:**  She is an expert in the field of seduction. Romanoff has been infamously known to bend men to her will and sometimes even get them to do her bidding using her sex appeal.
  *   **Expert Spy:**  Romanoff is a dangerous secret agent trained in espionage, stealth, disguise, infiltration, and demolitions. Her talents and years of experience have enabled her to reach a high rank as an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.



 

**CAPTAIN AMERICA**

**Real** **Name** : Steven Grant “Steve” Rogers

 **Height** : 6’2

 **Weight** : 220 lbs.

 

After the United States entered the war, Rogers enlisted in the US Army to fight in Europe.  He was selected as a candidate for the Strategic Scientific Reserve program as a means to create a new line of Super Soldier’s to win WWII. Dr. Abraham Erskine chose Steven Rogers as the first test subject. With the aid of a machine and Howard Stark, Dr. Erskine injected Rogers with the serum, while dosing him with "Vita-Rays". It's transformed a once frail and sickly Rogers into the perfect solider.

 

  *   **Peak Human Strength:**  Rogers’s physical strength is enhanced to the very peak of human potential. His strength is among the most displayed of his Super Soldier abilities.
  *   **Peak Human Durability:**  Rogers’s bones and muscles are denser and harder than normal, which makes him very durable compared to a normal human.
  *   **Peak Human Speed:**  Steve can run and move at speeds that are far superior to the finest Olympic athlete. He can easily keeping up with him, showing he can run at speeds of up to approximately 30 miles per hour with ease (48 kilometer per hour), and could probably run a mile in little over a minute when under stress (which would roughly be a little less than 60 miles per hour).
  *   **Peak Human Stamina:**  Rogers’s musculature produces less fatigue toxins during physical activity than the musculature of an ordinary human. Rogers’s body eliminates the excessive build-up of fatigue-producing chemicals in his muscles, granting him indefinite endurance and lung capacity.
  *   **Peak Human Senses:**  Rogers senses of sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are all enhanced to the very peak of human potential. He also has a perfect pitch and can notice all sorts of sounds and smells. He also can see farther than any human with perfect clarity.
  *   **Peak Human Agility:**  Rogers’s agility is greater than that of an Olympic gold medalist. He can instinctively coordinate his body with perfect balance, equilibrium, flexibility, and dexterity. He can leap 50 yards out in a single bound and 20 ft. into the air without a running start. 
  *   **Peak Human Reflexes:**  Rogers’s reflexes are enhanced to the very peak of human potential. His auto-reflexes allow him to easily dodge gunfire and attacks even when not consciously aware of them; his immense reflexes can be used to attack and counter instead of just defensive purposes.
  *   **Peak Human Mental Process:**  Rogers’s mental performance has been greatly enhanced to the very peak of human potential. Allowing his mind to operate in the most efficient and rapid manner possible, one manifestation of this is his leadership and tactical genius; the ability to quickly process multiple information streams (e.g., threat assessment) and rapidly respond to any changing tactical situations, by creating perfect winning strategies rapidly.
  *   **Peak Human Healing:**  Rogers healing speed and efficiency is at the highest limits of human potential, which means he can heal faster than any human. His healing prevents him from getting sick, poisoned or drunk making him immune to all diseases and protects him while frozen. Any and all injuries will heal rapidly and perfectly without leaving a trace of injury.
  *   **Delayed Aging:**  Rogers was frozen in ice for nearly 70 years before awakening in the 21st century. It is theorized that the serum halts Rogers' aging due to extensively healthy cells.



Other Abilities

  *   **Master Combatant:**  Steve has mastered numerous martial arts boxing, and maybe some other forms of martial arts. (It is more than likely he probably learned from some of the members of the Howling Commandos). Nonetheless, as stated above, a combination of his strength, his shield and his training has made Captain America a formidable combatant.
  *   **Master Shield Fighter:**  Over time of training and experience with his unique shield, as well as its physical properties, allow him to accomplish amazing feats with the item. Aside from bashing foes and blocking incoming attacks, he is able to throw it with nearly perfect aim. Steve can hit multiple targets with the same throw by means of ricochet, and could even achieve a boomerang-like return effect, allowing him to strike enemies from behind or retrieve the shield without objects to ricochet from.
  *   **Multilingual:**  Steve is capable of speaking languages other than English.



 

**BRUCE BANNER**

**THE HULK**

**Real** **Name** : Dr. Robert Bruce Banner

 **Height** : 5’9            

 **Weight** : 145 lbs.

 **Enhanced** **Name** : Hulk

 **Height** : 7’6                   

 **Weight** : 1,150 lbs.

 

Dr. Banner is a leader in gamma radiation research, and once worked with Dr. Erik Selvig for a brief period. General Thaddeus Ross enlisted Dr. Banner in a military research group to create a super soldier serum. But when testing the experiment on himself, he was transformed into the Hulk.  General Ross decided to have Dr. Banner dissected in order to recreate the Hulk for mass use, however Dr. Banner instead went on the run, knowing that the Hulk and its power could not be controlled.

He has spent the last year and a half running from country to country, looking for a cure while continuously being pursued by General Ross. 

**Last known location: Kolkata, India**

**Transformation:**   Dr. Banner transforms into the Hulk, when he loses control of himself because of rage or adrenaline, stress, which hormonally stimulates the heart rate. The total time of transformation takes only seconds. Dr. Banner became the Hulk with increase in heart rate or adrenal levels, suggesting that the true trigger mechanism into the Hulk is far more psychological than physical. When the Hulk transforms back into Dr. Banner, the excess muscle mass and energy is lost, presumably to the same place he derives it.

  *   Dr. Banner is unable to control the transformations, but it is believed through training and practice he can manage to attain some level of control. It is believed that Dr. Banner's consciousness is buried within the Hulk's, and can influence the Hulk's behavior only to a very limited extent.   
  *   In order to stop unwanted transformations, Dr. Banner learned that ways to remain in control of his emotions in dangerous situations.   
  *   However, if Dr. Banner is sent into a state of stress then he can still lose control and transform against his will despite trying to control it. This Hulk seems to revert back to a savage enraged state where he would attack anyone being friend or foe.



 

Dr. Banner is a gifted scientist: there's no one that knows gamma radiation like he does and, according to and his work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. During his stay in Rio de Janeiro, Banner initially learned Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and breathing exercises to defend himself against threats from the military, all while keeping control of the Hulk. Along with his new found fighting skills, Banner had developed his cardio to the point where he was able to outrun a Special Operations military team,.

**The Hulk:**

  *   **Superhuman Strength:**  The Hulk´s primary power is his superhuman strength.  In times of stress the Hulk's adrenaline level escalates, causing a corresponding escalation in strength as well as increased levels of energy. To date the Hulk has never apparently been provoked into demonstrating a maximum output of strength; hence his upper limit remains a mystery.   
  *   **Weaponization:**  The Hulk demonstrates the ability of using his strength to turning anything in the environment around him into weapons or armor to use.
  *   **Superhuman Durability:**  The Hulk has incredibly tough skin, allowing him to easily withstand bullets which do not even pierce his skin.  Only beings with tremendous force or extremely powerful weapons can harm him.
  *   **Superhuman Endurance:**  Hulk's endurance is substantially greater than that of a normal human.
  *   **Superhuman Speed:**  The Hulk is capable of running faster than a human.   
  *   **Superhuman Leaps:** Hulkhas been shown to be able to make mile-sized leaps that can be incredibly precise in landing.
  *   **Instantaneous Regeneration/Regenerative Healing Factor:**  The Hulk displays an incredibly fast rate of regeneration. This grants immunity to any illness and longevity (for Hulk, not Dr. Banner). The Hulk heals rapidly from injuries at a much greater rate than a normal human
  *   **Martial Artist:**  The Hulk, while having no formal training, is a formidable hand to hand combatant simply due to his great physical attributes. He typically uses street fighting and brawling techniques that make full use of his strength.



 

**THOR**

**Real** **Name** : Thor Odinson

 **Height** : 6’6

 **Weight** : 640 lbs.

 

Thor comes from a world not of our own called Asgard.  Brought up in the warrior culture of the Asgardians, Thor values strength, courage, and loyalty above all else. He once desired to be exactly like his father the war hero, and often remarks on the monsters he will slay and the wars he will win when he is king. Thor would be worshiped as a deity of strength and courage among Scandinavian cultures.  Thor is the eldest brother, and will be king of Asgard. 

When Thor was first introduced to our world he was brash, young, and arrogant prince who defied the will of his father and placed his selfish needs before that of those around him. Due to his mighty power and appearance, he felt that he was entitled to rule with an iron fist. Once he arrived on earth and met Jane Foster, he was then showed kindness and love.  Over time Thor began to develop a humble and compassionate heart.

 

  *   **Superhuman Strength:**  Thor is physically the strongest Asgardian, possessing vast superhuman strength, the full limits of which aren't known.
  *   **Superhuman Stamina:**  Thor's advanced musculature is considerably more efficient than that of a human and most other Asgardians. As a result, his muscles produce practically no fatigue toxins during physical activity compared to those of humans and most other members of his race. His virtually inexhaustible stamina enables him to exert himself at peak capacity for an undefined period of time without tiring at all.
  *   **Super-humanly Dense Tissue:**  Thor's skin, muscle, and bone tissue have several times the density of the same tissue in the body of a human being, contributing to his superhuman weight. At full power he is invulnerable to powerful energy blasts, weighted impacts, falls from great heights, explosions and various other opposing forces. Even when he was stripped of his powers, he was still amazingly durable due to his dense body
  *   **Near-Invulnerability:**  When he is at full power and armed with Mjölnir, Thor possesses nigh-invulnerability and immunity to human ailments as diseases, toxins, poisons, corrosion, fire, electrocution, asphyxiation, and lead and radiation poisoning.
  *   **Superhuman Speed:**  Thor can move at extreme speeds. He can fly across the New Mexico desert in a matter of seconds. He can also swing Mjölnir at speeds so great that it seems like a blur to the naked eye.
  *   **Superhuman Agility:**  Thor's agility, balance, and bodily coordination make him a great warrior in battle. He moves with incredible grace and speed despite his size and body density.
  *   **Regenerative Healing Factor:**  Despite his astounding resistance to injury, it is possible to injure Thor. After seemingly being killed by the Destroyer and proving himself worthy of Mjölnir, Thor regained his full power and immediately healed himself in seconds.
  *   **Superhuman Longevity** : Thor, like all other Asgardians, is not truly immortal as it is possible to kill an Asgardian and other beings in the Nine Realms. It is more accurate to say that Asgardians are extremely long lived beings. Thor ages at a pace far slower than humans. He is more than likely born shortly before the last Great War between the Asgardians and the Jotuns. Making him at least 1,300 years old. Mortals' life spans are comparable to the blink of an eye to him.
  *   **Master Combatant** : Thor is the one of the greatest and most powerful warrior in Asgard. Second only to Odin, he is one of the most skilled fighters to ever walk the planet. Thor is trained in the arts of war and various fighting techniques by his teachers in Asgard. He is an expert marksman, and is masterful in all areas of combat, including hand-to-hand and various forms of weaponry available in Asgard with over centuries of combat experience
  *   **Master Hammer Fighter:**  After centuries of practice wielding his hammer, Thor has become masterful in fighting with Mjölnir and is proficient in hammer throwing.
  *   **Master Tactician:**  For over thousands of years, he has led Asgard and his friends into battle against forces with great leadership. Employing strategies and tactics from possibly every culture on Earth, as well as all the Nine Worlds of Asgard.



 

**TONY STARK**

**IRON MAN**

**Real Name** : Dr. Anthony Edward “Tony” Stark

 **Height** : 6’0

 **Weight** : 185 lbs.

 **Enhanced** **Name** : Iron Man

 **Height** : 6’6

 **Weight** : 425 lbs.

 

Anthony Edward Stark was born to Howard and Maria Stark on May 29, 1970, but his early life was often dominated by the absence of his father who he would later describe as 'cold' and 'calculating'. At age four he built his first circuit board, at age six his first engine, and at seventeen he graduated _summa cum laude_  from MIT. Starks parents were killed in a car accident in 1991. Howard Stark's lifelong friend Obadiah Stand became the CEO of Stark Industries. At age twenty-one that same year, Stark became the new CEO and ushered in a new era for his father's legacy, creating smarter weapons, advanced robotics, and satellite targeting. He changed the face of the weapons industry.

 

An inventive mechanical engineering prodigy, Stark is constantly creating new technology and looking for ways to improve it. Before becoming _Iron Man_ , he had little concern for the effect his weapons had on others. Stark does an outgoing man who enjoys drinking and gambling, all the while still possess the capacity to become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics overnight. However, for all his flaws, Stark is a good man at heart and wants to use his technology to better the world.

                                                                                             

  *   **Direct Cybernetic Interface:**  Thanks to the state-of-the-art microchips Stark injected into his left forearm he can now mentally control the Iron Man armor with his thoughts.
  *   **Armor Link:**  Stark can mentally command the armor with his thoughts even when he was fully unconscious.
  *   **Armor Summon:** Thanks to the new repulsor flight system, individual pieces of the armor can self-assemble themselves on to Stark or others. Stark is able to remotely summon the Mark XLII to Pepper Potts for her to wear after his home is attacked by the Mandarin's forces.
  *   **Indomitable Will** : Stark has proven time and time again why he is called Iron Man. Stark shows a tremendous strength of will. When the Arc Reactor started to poison, him he found a cure in a diorama of the Stark Expo secretly left by his father, Howard Stark. Stark built small particle accelerators in his workshop which he used create a new element that saved his life. 
  *   **Genius Intelligence:**  At age four Stark built his first circuit board, at age six his first engine, and at seventeen he graduated  _summa cum laude_  from MIT. Stark later became one of smartest men in the world. 
  *   **Expert Engineer:**  Stark was able to create the Mark 1 Iron Man armor and the first miniaturized Arc Reactor, "With a box of scraps!" as stated by Obadiah Stane, while being held in captivity by the Ten Rings.
  *   **Skilled Combatant:**  Stark is trained in unarmed combat and has become quite formidable on his own when the situation demands it. He was able to hold his own against Rhodey, a Lieutenant Colonel Air Force Combat Pilot.



**Iron Man:**

 

With the exception of the Mark I Iron Man armor, almost all of the Iron Man suits share a common design and capability set. The suit is a powered exoskeleton with armored plating, capable of enhancing the wearer's strength, speed, agility, and endurance. The suit is powered by a miniaturized Arc Reactor, either using the one surgically installed in Tony Stark's chest.

The armor helmet features a retractable visor that delivers a holographic, augmented-reality (AR) display to the wearer. The features of the helmet resemble a human face, with eyepieces and a mouth slit showing the point where the face plate meets the jaw.

The armor's primary weapons as well as mode of propulsion are repulsers built into the hands and feet. The foot repulsors provide the majority of the propulsion force, while the hand repulsors are used as flight stabilizers. Given the intense heat and concussive pressure produced by the repulsors, the ones built into the hands are often used as weapons. When need be, the unibeam repulsor built into the chest piece can be charged to deliver a powerful, destructive blast.

**AGENT PHIL COULSON**

 

 

 **Real Name** : Phillip Daniel “Phil” Coulson

 **Height** : 5’11

 **Weight** :  174 lbs.

 

A son of Robert and Julie Coulson, Phil Coulson was born in Boston, MA, on July 8, 1964. Coulson lost his father at a very young age, and his mother is now deceased, and his brother was killed in action 2 years ago.  His brother Matthew Coulson was a member of the Marine’s Special Forces Squad called the “Black Angels,” which to date is the most successful squad in military history.   Coulson was recruited directly out of West Point to S.H.I.E.L.D. by Nick Fury.   Fury served as his training officer. Coulson trained alongside John Garrett.  Over the years Coulson has become a legendary agent within S.H.I.E.L.D. and one of Director Fury's most trusted agents.

 

Phil Coulson is essentially an everyman, the kind of man who is not far different from most ordinary people; especially compared to the super powered heroes he has come to associate himself with, but he is still unique and characteristic in his own subtle way.

Throughout his career, Coulson has shown an unquestioning loyalty and faith in S.H.I.E.L.D. Command.

  *   **Martial Artist:**  Agent Coulson is highly trained in the field of hand to hand combat.
  *   **Expert Marksman:**  Agent Coulson is trained in the use of conventional firearms and weapons.
  *   **Expert Tactician:**  He is a very effective strategist, tactician, and field commander.



**COMMANDER HILL**

**THE BLACK ANGEL**

**Real Name** : Maria Rose Hill

 **Height** : 5’9         

 **Weight** : 167 lbs.

 

Deputy Director of SHIELD, Commander Hill served four tours in Iraq and Afghanistan in the Marines Special Forces.  She is an excellent leader and very tactical in her decision making.  She was the first woman to ever lead a Special Forces team. 

Her test scores are the highest the military has ever seen.  She was put on leadership track fresh out of training but denied it, choosing to serve in combat instead.  Over the next couple years she moved up the rank relatively fast.  She was a Captain of her own squad by the age of 24.  After her 2nd tour in Iraq her squad earned the title, “The Black Angels.”

Two years ago she was ordered to infiltrate a base on the outskirt of Afghanistan where the United States believed the enemy was producing nuclear weapons.  When clearing the building her squad was exposed to a weaponized chemical bomb which gave off high levels of Gamma radiation.  Captain Hill was the only survivor.

The US military then destroyed all their files pertaining to Captain Hill and her team.  The few documents that have been uncovered paint a very disturbing picture of the US military.  The military declared Captain Hill and her team as killed in combat.  Captain Hill being the only survivor was then moved to an unknown location in Texas.  Over the next six months Captain Hill was subjected to heinous experiments by General Thaddeus Ross, the same man actively seeking Dr. Bruce Banner. 

General Ross believes that Captain Hill’s survival of the Gamma exposure, which resulted in her heightened strength and speed, could be reproduced.  General Ross believed, and still very much still believes that Captain Hill’s biology is the key in the production of super soldiers.

  *   **Peak Human Strength:**  Commander Hill’s physical strength is enhanced to the very peak of human potential. The strength that she acquired due to the Gamma exposure could be compared to Captain America’s Super Soldier Serum.
  *   **Peak Human Durability:**    Like Captain America’s bone structure, Commander Hill’ s  bones and muscles are denser and harder than normal, which makes her very durable compared to a normal human.
  *   **Peak Human Speed:**   Commander Hill can run and move at speeds that are far superior to any human.  She has been tracked at speeds of 22 mph with ease but recently showed her true speed at the Stark Expo moving at a speed of 40 mph when under duress. 
  *   **Peak Human Stamina:**    Commander Hill’s musculature produces less fatigue toxins during physical activity than the musculature of an ordinary human. Her body eliminates the excessive build-up of fatigue-producing chemicals in her muscles, granting her longer endurance and lung capacity.
  *   **Peak Human Senses:**  Commander Hill’s sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch are all enhanced to the very peak of human potential.  Commander Hill reports that her retinas are scared but have not inhibited her vision in the slightest.  Commander Hill frequently wears protection eye wear which are combat wearable, bullet proof and have switch activated night vision. 
  *   **Peak Human Reflexes:**  Commander Hill’s reflexes are enhanced to the very peak of human potential. It is believed that during combat situations and with more training Commander Hill’s auto-reflexes will allow her to easily dodge gunfire and attacks even when not being consciously aware of them.
  *   **Peak Human Healing:**  Commander Hill’s ability to heal is currently unknown.  Gunshots, broken bones and cuts on Commander’s Hill’s body are generally healed within five minutes.  The high levels of Gamma exposure could have resulted in her advanced healing but it can’t be proven without further testing.
  *   **Advanced Tactician and Strategist:**  Commander Hill is an accomplished strategist. Her time leading the Black Angels has allowed her to be able to formulate battle strategies and her brilliant tactical sense allows her to alter any strategy to fit the changing need of the situation.
  *   **Advanced Military Operator:**  Commander Hill is well-versed in all armed force disciplines including intelligence gathering, escape arts, demolition, survival tactics, swimming, mountaineering, march or drill skills, map making, map reading, communication systems and vehicles used in armed forces.
  *   **THE UNKNOWN FACTOR:**  Commander Hill’s abilities are greatly unknown.  Her full capabilities and strengths cannot be determined without testing.  Commander Hill has refused any testing, hence her any further powers and abilities remain a mystery.   



 

**THE AVENGERS INITIATIVE**

 

The Avengers Initiative (PHASE 1) is a secret project created by SHIELD.  The Avenger Initiative is a team composed of the previous individuals.  A group of powerful beings that would respond to any dangerous global threats which are too great…  

 “Deputy Director Hill,” the computerized assistant sounded pulling her from the file on the computer.  “Director Fury has requested that I remind you that it is Tuesday and you are to report to conference room D in ten minutes.”

Maria pulled her eyes away from the computer, her mind trying to process what she just read.  The preliminary report in itself was unbelievable, shocking really.  Her mind was sent reeling, finding it difficult to comprehend or process the information that she just read.  Fury was trying to put together a team.  A team that he wanted her to be a part of.  How did she not know this? 

And she just got through the bios of each proposed team member, including herself, which she was not impressed with, but what did the rest of the preliminary report propose?  What was Fury’s plan?  Why was she not informed of this?  Is this why he recruited her to SHIELD in the first place?  Was he only after her abilities?

“Deputy Director Hill,” the computerized assistant sounded again pulling her from her thoughts.  “Director Fury is reporting that if you don’t get to conference room D in the next five minutes then he can order you to mandatory therapy…”

“Jesus fucking Christ!  Tell the Director that I am leaving now.  Fucking man,” she swore as she got up from her desk.

“I already have Coulson mothering me.  I don’t need his ass too,” she mumbled walking towards the door. 

“Computer please inform director Fury that I want to speak to him about the scrapped PHASE I Project as soon as possible,” she called to her computer as she pressed the button to open her office door.

“Yes Commander Hill,” sounded the computer as the door shut behind her.

Maria sighed as she walked with a fast pace to her destination.  It was a ten minute walk to Conference Room D, which was at the other end of the ship.  She would be late.  Great.

Maria made it across the ship relatively quickly and was outside the door to the conference room.  She lingered outside the open door to stare inside.  There was twenty or so SHIELD Agents standing in a room talking to each other.  Maria could see that some were already making their way to the chairs that were placed in a circle in the middle of the room. 

Maria sighed.  She really didn’t want to be here.     

“You gonna stand outside the door all night or are you going in?”

Maria jumped slightly at the voice behind her.  She turned her head towards the voice and was instantly greeted with the sight of Natasha Romanoff leaning up against the wall next to the door, her lips quirking in a teasing smile. 

“What are you doing here?” questioned Maria, accusation in her voice.

Natasha quirked an eyebrow at Maria’s tone but the teasing smile never left her lips.  She stared at Maria for a few seconds before pushing herself off the wall and walking towards Maria to stand next to her.   Natasha stared inside the room, the SHIELD Agents were making it to their seats now.

“I’d imagine I am here for the same reason everyone else is,” answered Natasha turning her head to give Maria a passing glance before walking into the room.  “And Coulson makes me come,” she called over her shoulder walking towards the chairs. 

Maria watched her enter the room and join the rest of the Agents now sitting in a circle.  The fact that no one even gave Natasha a passing glance as she sat down amongst the group let Maria know that Natasha must come to these on a regular basis. 

Sighing, Maria steeled her nerves and walked into the room.  It was this or therapy and there was no way in hell she was going to talk to a therapist. 

She almost reached an open chair without anyone noticing her presence before she heard a hushed whisper.

“Holy shit, is that Commander Hill?”

A heavy silence settled over the room. 

It took every ounce of willpower Maria had to not falter in her steps as unsettling eyes glanced in her direction.  Some of the Agents were even shifting uncomfortably in their seat as she passed by them. 

Maria finally made her way to an open chair and sat down, her body tense.  She could feel every eye in the room on her.  Maria glanced around the room silently and did in fact notice every eye in the room was on her, except Natasha. 

Natasha sat across from her Indian style on her chair.  She was currently enthralled with her nails.  Even from this distance Maria could see the bright red nail polish decorating the woman’s nails. 

Whispers continued to swirl in the air around the small space.  Maria’s heightened hearing could pick up every word.

“What do you think she is doing here?”

“Think she suffers from PTSD?”

“She did do four tours.  I heard the Black Angels got the hardest missions.  She probably saw some rough stuff over there.”

“I heard that the Captain of the Black Angels memorized the name of every fallen soldier that died while they were on tour.  If that is true, that’s a hell of a burden…”

“Sorry I am late everyone,” echoed a voice and Maria looked up to see Phil walking into the room.  She watched as he walked in with a smile, his eyes scanning the room.  His blue eyes landed on her and lingered for a few seconds, surprise evident in them before moving on, clearly not wanting to put her in an awkward position.  

“Okay Agents let’s get started,” he said moving to take one of the open chairs and sitting down.  “I see a couple new faces so I am just going to go ahead and give you a brief rundown of what we do here.  The purpose of this group is to help you all deal with your PTSD.  Now while I believe this group can do wonders for all of you, I cannot guarantee your symptoms will be completely removed from your life, but this group can help you learn the skills to regain control of your life, manage your reactions and responses, and live a meaningful life.  This is a safe place.  There is no judgement in this group.  Please feel free to share anything that you are struggling with, myself and the group will then try and help you the best we can.”

Coulson looked around the room staring at everyone, making sure everyone was in tuned to his words.  Everyone was, except Natasha, whom was still staring at her nails and ignoring everyone around her. 

“Okay,” nodded Coulson.  “Anyone want to start?”

Coulson looked around the room, noting the how is normally active group was unusually quiet tonight.  He sighed as he realized that many of the Agents were giving nervous glances towards the Deputy Director, her presence throwing them off.

“Agent Cotta,” said Coulson finding one of his regulars in the group.  “How about you tell the group your story and then if you have had any setbacks or successes lately?”

Agent Cotta tensed as he was called out by Coulson but sighed as he nodded.

“Hey guys my name is Agent Cotta.  I’m 38 years old and have been a weapons technician with SHIELD for about 5 years.  Before coming to SHIELD, I served in the United States Army for 6 years as an Explosive Ordnance Disposal Specialist. Umm…let’s see…” trailed off Cotta uncomfortably. 

“I have been suffering from PTSD for about 8 years.  I have a pretty tight lid on it now, thanks to this group but I still have setbacks every once in a while.”

 “Umm ya so,” started Cotta stiffening in his chair a little as he stared around the group.  “I saw a lot of shit over there.  Some incidents in particular never left my mind.  I watched my best friend, Frankie Sutton, a fellow EOD Specialist die.  He was working on a particularly nasty IUD and we missed the trigger man.  Even with the blast suit he didn’t stand a chance…” his voice trailed off.

“Agent Cotta you don’t have to continue if…”

“No its okay,” interrupted Cotta shaking his head.  “Like I said I have a pretty good lid on it now.  It wasn’t just Frankie, it was a lot of shit…the body bombs were also hard.  Sometimes they would use kids…the same age as my daughter.”

“When I returned home, everything from over there followed me back.  Scenes from battle would run repeatedly through my mind and disrupt my focus on work. Filling up at the gas station, for example, the smell of diesel immediately rekindled the memory of a road side bomb.”

“At other times, I had difficulty remembering the past — as if some events were too painful to allow back into my mind. I found myself avoiding socializing with my old military buddies, every time I was around them they would inevitably trigger a new round of memories. My wife complained that I was always pent-up and irritable.  I was on guard all the time.  At night I couldn’t relax and frequently suffered from night terrors.  It all became too much so…I started drinking, heavily.” 

“My wife…she threatened to leave if I didn’t get help.  So I went to the local VA and started participating in groups. My first step was making the decision to stop downing out my memories with alcohol.  The group at the VA had me start discussing my combat experiences, and then I identified activities, people, sounds, and smells that I knew could trigger my PTSD.  Knowing my triggers really helped me.  As far as a recent success, last week I celebrated my six years of sobriety.  ”

Cotta stopped talking signaling to Coulson that he was done. 

“Congratulation on your sobriety Agent Cotta.  That is a good milestone.  Now, I’m glad you brought up recognizing your triggers.  Triggers is exactly what I wanted to concentrate today’s group on.  Now, a trigger is an event, object, or cue that elicits feelings of anxiety, fear, anger, or other types of distress.”

Coulson paused as he stared around the group.

“Triggers are often harmless, but become associated with the original trauma. For most people with PTSD, triggers are not inherently dangerous, but remind them of their traumatic experiences. Certain sights, sounds, smells, physical sensations, places, activities, and situations can be triggers for people with PTSD and can produce a surge of anxiety and a strong urge to escape or avoid.”

Coulson paused as he nodded towards Agent Cotta. 

“Agent Cotta said knowing his triggers really heled him.  This is because learning to recognize your triggers is an important part of PTSD treatment.”

“Now for the rest of the group I want to go around and have everyone name one of your triggers.  Try and concentrate on what triggered a feeling of fear, threat, anger or general discomfort in you this week.  Some things will be obvious, like listening to the evening news, but others may be more subtle, the smell of a certain spice or the feeling of heat on your skin.  There is no wrong answer here.  All I ask is that you say one thing.”

Coulson looked around the room making sure everyone was following along before continuing.  “Okay everyone ready?” he asked getting a few nods around the room.  “Agent Cotta since you already know a few of your triggers will you list one for the group, then I want us to move counterclockwise around the circle.”

Agent Cotta nodded.

“Any exposed wires…”

The agent next to him shifted in his seat and spoke.

“Unexpected loud noises…”

“Crowded public places…”

“Trash in the road…”

“The smell of diesel fuel…”

“Helicopters flying overhead…”

Maria listened as each Agent listed their trigger as it went around the group.  It went on like this for a few more Agents until landing on Natasha.  The silence in the group seemed to echo through the room as everyone turned their head to see Natasha still staring at her nails not acknowledging any of them.  Was she even listening?

“Agent Romanoff…” started Coulson

“The smell of black shoe polish,” she answered interrupting Coulson but still looking down at the nails. 

Maria’s mind drifted back to a few days ago. 

_“I can still remember the smell of them and the way they felt when they collided with my body.”_

Natasha’s words echoed in her mind and the rest of the world seemed to melt away.  The thought of a small redheaded girl being stomped on by grown men played in her mind.  A small girl, who still clung to the small belief that killing someone was wrong, was getting beat for that belief. 

A wave of protectiveness filtered through Maria’s body as the picture still continued to play in her head.  She wanted so much to be there in that moment.  To stop those men.  To stop Natasha’s pain. 

But she can’t stop time.  She can’t change the past.  Just like she can’t stop these feelings she has developed for Natasha. 

Wait! What?! How did she even go there? 

How did all of the sudden, in a group for PTSD did Maria finally notice that she at some points started developing feelings for Natasha.  That the protectiveness she felt towards the woman wasn’t just a Deputy Director wanting to shield her Agents away from pain but was rather a stronger, more powerful urge, a deeply personal one.     

“Commander Hill?”

Phil’s voice snapped her out of her thoughts.  He was staring at her and for perhaps a split second the overwhelming emotions that raged through her body since recognizing her feelings towards Natasha seemed to suspend in the air, protecting her from having to acknowledge them.  Everyone was staring at her, even Natasha who for the first time since group started was not looking at her nails.

“One of your triggers Commander?”

Maria stiffened in her chair as she quickly realized it was her turn and she had been so busy thinking about Natasha she hadn’t really considered what she was going to say when it became her turn.  Now she was put on the spot.  Her mind went back to the incident in the bathroom.  Staring at her reflection in the mirror…

“Blood.”

The words left her mouth before she could even think about stopping them.   After her announcement the eyes of every single person in the room now rested on her. 

Maria had to fight the overwhelming urge to shift in her seat, the eyes that were now trained on her making her incredibly uncomfortable.  So instead, she turned her head to stare at Natasha. 

Natasha’s green eye bored into her but unlike everyone elses gaze Natasha’s was comforting.  Maria watched as those emerald eyes seemed to burn brighter, nothing but acceptance and understand shining in those beautiful eyes.  Natasha held Maria’s gaze for a few more seconds before pulling her eyes away to stare back down at her nails, a look of nonchalance masking her face once again. 

Coulson cleared his throat getting everyone’s attention back to him, including Maria’s.

“Recognizing your triggers and being able to train your brain not to react is one of the first steps in controlling your PTSD.  Thank you all for sharing,” said Coulson staring down at his watch for a second before bringing his eyes back up.

“Okay so we reached our time today.  But before you leave I want to leave you with this.  You were all trained in the form of combat.  Your senses were trained to become more acute.  You all see clearer and hear better.   You were trained to enhance your senses because it in turn increases awareness, which can sometimes be the distinguishing factor in living or being killed in combat.”

“But it is hard to discriminate between the dangers of combat and multitude of problems inherent in civilian life and as SHIELD Agents. As a result, you react to all kinds of situations as if they are actually dangerous and you stay on guard, anxious, vigilant, watchful, not letting anyone get close to you, resulting in feeling distant, different, unprotected, alone, and not safe. That is how PTSD is running your life today.”

Coulson leaned forward in his chair, placing his forearms on his knees and leaning heavily on them as he stared around the room.

“This group can help you.  The first step is recognizing you need help and you have all done that today just by being here.  Hiding is easy, beating ourselves up is easy, denial is easy, self-medication is easy…but dealing with the pain, the emotions and having the courage to face your demons…that is harder.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you guys think? FYI I am going to try and update this story every Tuesday and Friday :)


	8. Blue Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I apologize for the delay in the updates. Both my beta's seemed to have dropped off the face of the earth. I am hoping everything is okay with them. I am posting this chapter without it being beta'd so I apologize if there are any glaring errors in this chapter. I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

A pounding on her office door had Maria groaning in her bed.  Blearily she reached forward and grabbed her phone.  She groaned as the time that brightly shined up from her phone, who in the hell was knocking on her door at 0400 hours on a Saturday?  Whoever they were they were about to be dead, that simple.  She was going to kill them.  It didn’t matter if it was Phil, her only friend on this flying metal box, whoever it was—friend or not, she was going to tear them apart.   

She rolled over on the bed to place her feet on the ground.  She sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair trying manage her bed head before reaching and grabbing her hoody to throw over her sports bra.  Standing up from the bed in her now sweatpants and hoodie, Maria reached forward, grabbed her glasses before snapping them in place. 

Her office door pounded again, this time louder.

“Dead.  I am going to kill them,” mumbled Maria tiredly standing up from her bed. 

She opened the door leading to her office and then walked to the office door.  She just reached the door as the door pounded again. 

Maria angrily jammed the button a snarl on her lips as the door opened.

“Someone better be dead because if they aren’t then you will be…” she snarled only for it to trial off as her eyes came to rest on a glaring red head assassin.  Natasha was standing outside her door with her arms crossed over her chest looking at Maria angrily. 

“Natasha what are you…”

Her words once again trailed off as Natasha completely disregarded her, pushing past her and walking into the office.  Maria turned her head and watched her enter her office, without permission, before turning at the door to face Natasha who was now standing in the middle of the room, her back to Maria. 

Maria sighed as she reached over and pushed her button, the sound of the door closing behind her sounded. 

“Natasha are you okay…” started Maria stepping forward.

Natasha whirled on Maria so fast that Maria instantly took a step backwards from the angry woman. 

“Don’t act like you care Maria,” bit out Natasha glaring.

Maria froze at Natasha’s words.  The anger in every word was evident and Maria is certain she has never seen the redhead so worked up before.  Why was she so angry?  And why did she think that Maria didn’t care?

“You have been avoiding me,” growled out Natasha.

Maria internally started panicking but outwardly she showed no reaction to Natasha’s words.  She opened her mouth to deny it but Natasha quickly interrupted her.

“Don’t Maria.  I am a trained assassin.  You don’t honestly think I haven’t noticed the way you have walked into rooms, noticing my presence and leaving.  Or the way that you seem to wait to the last minute to enter the groups and then practically run out the door after.  Even when we are forced to be in the same room you completely ignore my presence.  You. Have. Been. Avoiding. Me.”

Nausea swirled unrestrained in Maria’s empty stomach.  Maria was naïve to think Natasha wouldn’t notice her attempt at keeping a distance between the two.  Maria made the decision last Tuesday after the group that she needed to put some space between Natasha and her.  She couldn’t act on her feelings.  She refused to endanger Natasha.  Whether the danger was from Maria herself or Ross, the danger was still there. 

Her decision to avoid Natasha was made with a good intention but as she saw the hurt and pain shining brightly in Natasha’s bright green eyes she couldn’t help the regret that seem to filter through her mind.  Maria’s heart felt as if her blood had become tar, as it struggled to keep a steady beat.  Natasha normally was so difficult to read but in this moment the pain on her face took Maria’s breath away. 

Maria sighed, there was no way around this.  She had to be honest.  She stepped forward slowly.

“Natasha…”

Natasha visibly flinched at Maria’s words as she quickly held a hand up stopping Maria in her tracks.

“You are a lot of things Maria Hill but I never thought you were a coward,” said Natasha softly her eyes boring into Maria.

It was Maria’s turn to now flinch.  Natasha’s words piercing her heart painfully.

“Natasha we can’t do this,” said Maria her voice cracking with emotion.

“We don’t even know what this is…” started Natasha frustration making its way back into her voice.

“Exactly!” interrupted Maria stepping forward.  “It’s better for this to stop before it does become something.”

There was an absolute stillness in the room.  There was not one sound.  Even the sound of Maria’s own breathing seemed to die as soon as the words left her mouth.  It was almost as if a higher power decided to hit the mute button in her office. 

“What are you so scared of Maria?” whispered Natasha stepping forward, stopping just inches from her.  Natasha was a good four inches shorter then Maria and she had tilt her head back to stare at up at her. 

“Natasha,” the words came out pained as Maria.  “I am dangerous.”

“You’re not dangerous to me,” whispered Natasha shaking her head.

“You have no idea,” said Maria softly pausing trying to gather her emotions.  “Natasha things were done to me.  Horrible things.  I don’t even know what I am capable of, so you can’t know that.”

“I know it,” whispered Natasha nothing but conviction in her voice.   

Maria’s heart lurched.  Natasha had way too much faith in her. 

“Even if I wasn’t a danger to you, the people after me are.  They will do anything to get me Natasha and I refuse to let them use you against me.”

Natasha didn’t say anything to that, instead she reached up and cupped Maria’s cheek.  The gentleness of the gesture making Maria gasp.

“I think you understand more than most that I am more than capable of taking care of myself.”

Maria took a steadying breath through her nose and fought every instinct to lean further into Natasha’s hand.  Reaching up she grabbed Natasha’s hand from her face but instead of pulling her hand away like she intended she found herself wrapping her fingers around it.

“Natasha you have seen the real me.  The people that did those things to me, they made me into a monster.  What kind of life can a monster give you?”

Natasha stared up at Maria her green eyes filling with tears that she would never let fall.  Natasha pulled her hand from Maria’s face but still kept Maria’s hand encased in her own.  She brought their joined hands in between them and then looked down at them.  Maria felt Natasha draw patterns into her palm.  She watched silently as Natasha stared down at their hands.  Maria could see something dark stirring behind those green eyes. 

“In the Red Room, where I was trained…where I was raised,” her voice cracked and she stopped drawing patterns into Maria’s hand and instead squeezed it tightly.  “They have a graduation ceremony.”

Natasha brought her eyes up to meet Maria’s and Maria lost her breath.  Her green eyes were still beautiful but they were dark, clouded, almost as if someone shut the light off behind them. 

“They sterilize you.  It’s efficient.  One less thing to worry about.  The one, that that might matter more than a mission.  Makes everything easier, even killing.”

The way Natasha’s voice cracked with emotion and her eyes filled with unshed tears after every sentence told Maria how hard this was for her.  She could literally feel the sadness in Natasha’s voice as she spoke.  It was a kind of sadness that seeps into your bones.

“You still think you are the only monster in the room?”

Maria’s heart clenched painfully at the vulnerability in Natasha’s voice and eyes as she stared down at her.  Maria brought her free hand up and lightly touched Natasha’s cheek bone.  She traced Natasha’s cheek, her feather light touches leaving a trail of fire in their wake. 

“So what,” whispered Maria, “where do we go from here?”

Natasha closed her eyes and leaned into Maria’s touch.  Maria waited and a few seconds later Natasha’s eyes opened.  The light in her eyes was back on as she stared up at Maria.

Natasha was silent as she stared.  Her hand came back up to Maria’s face and Maria expected it to land on her cheek again but the hand bypassed her cheek, fingertips landing on the temple of her glasses.  

Maria froze at the touch and knew what Natasha wanted.

“Natasha no…” she started but the look she received from the redhead had the protest dying on her lips.

She flinched at the audible _click_ of her glasses.  Natasha moved to the other side of her face and repeated the action.  The second _click_ had Maria closing her eyes firmly shut.  She knew Natasha has seen her eyes on a couple occasions but she never voluntarily showed anyone her eyes. 

She felt the glasses being moved from her face.  The earpiece dragged across her cheek, the raw feeling they left in their wake made her feel so vulnerable.  The glasses were gone a second later.

She flinched at Natasha’s touch as her hand came up to cup her face again.  She still refused to open her eyes so the touch was a surprise.  Natasha’s hand was fully extended on the side of her face, her fingers extending up from her cheek to her temple.

“Open your eyes Maria.”

Maria clenched her eyes closed tighter.  This was too much.  Natasha was asking too much from her.

“Please.”

Maria’s eyes opened slowly, as if Natasha’s pleading voice was the password to her soul.  She held her breath as she stared into Natasha’s eyes, no barrier between them any longer.  Maria heard the sharp intake of breath as she opened her eyes.  

“God Maria,” whispered Natasha.  “Your eyes are beautiful....”

The borderline violent reaction from Natasha’s words surprised not only Natasha but Maria herself.  Maria flinched back from Natasha’s touch a growl ripping from her throat. 

“Don’t ever say that.”

Natasha stared at Maria with wide eyes.  She made the action of stepping towards Maria.

“Maria…”

“No Natasha!” yelled Maria her emotions spiraling out of control.  “How can you be so cruel?!  You know how I feel about them.  I don’t need you lying to me about them!  God I am such a fool…I should have never let you in...”

“Maria…” tried Natasha again.

“No!” screamed Maria.  “How dare you!  How dare you…”

“Maria stop this right now!” screamed Natasha back.  The power in Natasha’s voice instantaneously silenced Maria outburst.

Natasha moved forward quickly stopping on inches from Maria.  

“Stop this,” she said softly, her voice now on the complete opposite of the spectrum that it was just a few seconds prior.

Maria could do nothing but stare down at Natasha, air coming out of her in mouth in ragged breaths. 

“Your eyes…” started Natasha.                                         

“Don’t…please don’t Natasha,” interrupted Maria furiously, closing her eyes trying to stop the angry tears that threatened to spill from them. 

“Let me finish damn it!” growled out Natasha the force of her growl had Maria’s eyes shooting open again.

Maria stared down at Natasha, her green eyes now shining with a dangerous glint, almost daring Maria to interrupt her again.  It was the same look that she frequently wore in the sparring ring just before she attacked.  Maria knew this look all too well. 

“Your eyes,” started Natasha slowly and softly. Maria shut her eyes and moved to turn her head away from Natasha but a hand shot up quickly to her face stopping her.  “No,” whispered Natasha forcing Maria’s face back to hers.  “Open your eyes and look at me Maria.”

Maria hated herself for opening them but nonetheless they were open and staring back down at Natasha.

“While your black eyes are daunting, they are a part of you.  You are beautiful.  So in turn your eyes, even black are beautiful.”

Maria opened her mouth.

“But,” interrupted Natasha giving her a small glare letting Maria know that she isn’t done and that she won’t be interrupted again.  “When I said your eyes were beautiful I was talking about the blue ones, not the black ones.”

Natasha’s words froze Maria in her spot.  It was as if her words took on a physical form and wrapped around Maria’s throat.  It strangled the breath from her lungs, leaving Maria’s choking breath’s to come out ragged.

“Maria?” concern evident in Natasha’s voice.  “Maria are you okay?”

“What did you just say?” choked out Maria staring at Natasha with wide disbelieving eyes.

“I asked if you were ok...”

“No,” interrupted Maria breathlessly, “what did you say about my eyes?”

Natasha’s brow furrowed as she stared up at Maria.

“I said I was talking about your blue eyes, not your black ones…”

“My eyes aren’t blue anymore Natasha,” interrupted Maria her voice small.  “They haven’t been since the blacksite.  How did you even know they used to be blue?”

Natasha stared at Maria in confusion. 

“Maria,” started Natasha talking slowly, “your eyes are black, but they turn blue when I touch you.  Does physical contact revert them back to their normal color?”

Natasha’s words felt like a punch to the chest.  She lost her breath, her heart stopped, and her mind went reeling.

“My eyes…” cried out Maria disbelievingly, “they turn blue when you touch me?”

“Yes,” answered Natasha steadily, her eyes widening at the tears that formed in Maria’s eyes.

Maria’s hand moved in a blink of an eye as she reached forward and grabbed Natasha’s hand firmly in hers before moving across the office, dragging Natasha behind her.  Natasha jumped at the speed in which Maria’s hand grabbed hers but allowed herself to be pulled across the room towards the back of the office.  Maria paused outside her door and with her free hand she placed her hand on the scanner.  She was moving into the room, dragging Natasha behind her as soon as the door opened. 

She moved quickly to the bathroom.  She let go of Natasha’s hand as soon as she entered, leaving Natasha standing in the doorway. 

Maria took a steadying a breath and for the first time in a very long time she willingly stared at herself in the mirror.  The black eyed monster that she actively avoided was looking back in her in the mirror.

Maria frowned at her reflection, staring at it for a few moments before turning to Natasha, whom was still standing in the doorway.  Natasha was staring at her, concern evident on her face and in her eyes.

“Show me,” whispered Maria, the pleading in her voice made her sound so small.

Natasha’s eyes went wide at the request but nonetheless walked into the room.  She moved in front of Maria her eyes never leaving Maria’s before lifting herself backwards on to the countertop.  Once she was settled she reached her hand up slowly.

Maria’s stared deeply into Natasha’s eyes.  She tracked Natasha’s movements out of the corner of her eye as Natasha’s hand moved slowly towards her face.  The feeling of Natasha’s fingertips on her cheek bone almost had her eyes shutting, but she forced them to stay open, her eyes never leaving Natasha’s.

Natasha stared up at her for a few moments.  Her green eyes assessing Maria deeply. 

Then she nodded. 

“They are blue.”

Maria stared down at Natasha noting the truthfulness in her eyes, before taking in a deep breath.  She held it in her lungs as she looked up over Natasha’s head to her reflection, Natasha’s hand never leaving her face.

Something between a cry and a sob escaped from her throat.  Her legs almost gave out from beneath her and she had to place her hands on the countertop in order to keep herself from falling.  She felt Natasha’s legs wrap around her middle, also holding her up. 

Tears streamed down her face as disbelief consumed every cell in her body, swelling them with hope.  With every second she stared at her reflection she felt her burdens leave her body—the fears, the hate, the self-loathing, it was gone and in its wake, she was left feeling an emotion she hadn’t felt in so long it was almost hard to recognize.  She felt at peace.

“I told you they were beautiful,” whispered Natasha.

Natasha’s words brought Maria’s gaze back down.  Natasha was smiling up at her. 

“My eyes…there blue,” croaked out Maria the emotion in her voice forcing her to choke on her words. 

“They are,” nodded Natasha, “they are so blue it is as if you have your own sky in them.  I would choose that sky over a sunset any day.”

Maria let out another choked sob at Natasha words as she leaned heavily into Natasha’s hand. 

“Don’t stop touching me,” begged Maria pleadingly staring down at Natasha.

A tear escaped Natasha’s eyes at her words.

“I won’t,” whispered Natasha.  “I don’t think I could stop if I tried.”

Maria let out a ragged breath as she brought up her hand to cup Natasha’s face, her thumb swiping the lone tear that was making its way down her cheek.  Natasha closed her eyes and leaned into the touch, her eyes leaving Maria’s only for a split second to stare at her lips and then back up to Maria’s eyes.  It was a short look.  But it was all Maria needed to surge forward. 

Maria’s tilted Natasha’s head up and pressed her lips gently to hers.  The kiss itself was so soft, so gentle, Maria found herself melting.  She could feel Natasha responding back to the kiss, sighing into her lips.  The two explored each other’s lips, sucking and nipping lightly. 

Natasha sucked Maria’s bottom lip into her mouth and Maria couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped.  Taking advantage of Maria’s open mouth Natasha slipped her tongue into Maria’s mouth, exploring Maria’s mouth further. The second their tongue’s touched it seemed to ignite a fire between the two.

The once gentle kiss became something more, something desperate.  Maria brought her hand up behind Natasha’s head and worked her hand through her hair pulling Natasha impossibly closer.  Natasha allowed Maria to pull her closer, her legs tightening around Maria’s middle.  Fingers dug into flesh, hair was pulled, and bites were exchanged as the kiss became a passionate embrace. 

Maria brought her hand down Natasha’s body wrapping her arm around Natasha’s middle as she pulled her into her body.  Natasha let out a throaty moan at the action.

Maria pulled her lips away from Natasha’s lips as she heard the moan.  Maria stared into Natasha’s eyes before raking her eyes down Natasha’s body, noting the gasping breaths and the way her thighs clenched around Maria’s middle.  Maria brought her eyes back up to Natasha’s and she was instantly sucked into lust filled green eyes.

Maria moved her hand down over Natasha’s ass, causing another groan to leave her mouth. Natasha rolled her hips into Maria’s.  Maria gripped Natasha firmly before lifting Natasha completely off the countertop with ease. 

Natasha loosened her grip on Maria just as she was picked up but then clenched her legs back around Maria’s middle as soon as Maria started to walk out of the bathroom.  Maria carried Natasha out of the bathroom and towards the bedroom, their eyes never breaking contact. 

Maria gently lowered Natasha onto her bed before letting her body come down gently on top of her.  Natasha opened her legs allowing Maria to fit perfectly against her body.  Leaning down Maria put her body weight on top of Natasha before leaning down and kissing her.  The kiss was gentle as Maria allowed herself to get lost in the kiss. 

Maria allowed her hands to travel.  Her hands found their way underneath Natasha’s shirt, she gasped at the feeling of warm smooth skin against her fingertips.  Maria gripped Natasha’s hip possessively, drawing a sigh out of Natasha’s lips. 

Nipping at Natasha’s lip for a few seconds Maria then started to move down Natasha’s body.  Placing a few kisses under Natasha’s chin before making her way down to her throat.  Maria licked, nipped and open mouth kissed her way down Natasha’s neck.  Natasha hips rolled up into Maria’s at every nip at the base of her throat.  Maria concentrated on that spot for a few moments before moving on, continuing her journey down, going as far as Natasha’s shirt would allow. 

Natasha let out a sigh of frustration before reaching down and ripping her shirt and bra up and over her head. 

Maria’s eyes shot wide at the sight before her, and couldn’t help but smile.

“Impatient are we?” she teased.

Natasha gave her a half-assed glare. 

“I can certainly put my shirt back on if you’d like?”

Maria smiled but shook her head. 

“Nope,” said Maria glancing down at Natasha’s naked torso.  “In fact, never wear a shirt again, okay?”

Natasha let out a throaty laugh at Maria’s words.

“I don’t imagine Fury would approve of me walking around the helicarrier half-naked.”

“Yes, I would imagine it would be a safety hazard,” teased Maria staring back down to Natasha’s chest. 

Natasha laughed again at her words but they quickly turned into a moan as Maria lowered herself down just above her breasts. 

Maria sighed above them, watching as her breath ghosted across Natasha’s perk nipples.  Natasha’s body clenched at every breath.  Maria slowly kissed her way around Natasha’s breasts, kissing everywhere but the place Natasha needed her most. 

She tried to tease Natasha for a bit longer but she couldn’t help herself as her mouth closed around Natasha’s nipple. Natasha’s body shot off the bed at the action and a raspy moan echoed from her lips.  Maria teased her with the tip of her tongue before raking her teeth across it.  Natasha’s hips were rolling into Maria at a regular pace now, trying to seek some sort of friction. 

Maria moved herself to the other nipple as her hand started to snake down Natasha’s body.  As Maria teased Natasha’s nipple beneath her lips her hand was running up and down Natasha’s thighs, stopping just at the edge of Natasha’s shorts, only to go back down again. 

“Maria…” whined Natasha her hips rotating up rubbing herself against Maria’s stomach. Maria pulled back quickly and grabbed Natasha’s shorts with both hands, pulling them and her underwear down her legs, before flinging them across the room.   

Maria stared down at the now completely naked Natasha Romanoff on her bed.  It was truly the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.  Maria made quick work of her own clothes, throwing them in every direction until she was also naked. 

Surging forward Maria settled herself back on top of Natasha, the feeling of their skin touching sent shivers down her spine.  Maria stared down at a breathless Natasha.  Her red hair was pooled around her head and her green eyes, leaden with arousal stared up at her. 

Maria placed her hand on the inside of Natasha’s knee, drawing intricate patterns there for a few seconds before traveling up her thigh slowly, until finally reaching Natasha’s sex.  Maria stared deep into Natasha’s eyes as she moved her hand over Natasha’s center.  Green eyes bore into blue, before clenching shut as Maria dipped her fingers into her wetness. 

Maria too moaned at what she felt.  It was perfect.  In every way.  Maria explored Natasha with her fingers.  Watching Natasha’s reaction as she explored her, trying to gauge how Natasha liked to be touched.  Maria did this for a few more minutes, working Natasha into a frenzy. 

“Please…”

That was all Maria needed to here as she slowly slipped a finger into Natasha.  Maria moved slowly exploring the new territory before slipping another finger in as Natasha arched off the bed, burying Maria’s fingers deeper within her.  Maria groaned as Natasha pulled her deeper and clenching around her fingers. 

Maria stilled her fingers as she stared down at Natasha, adjusting her body just slightly over Natasha.  Natasha stared up at her, bringing her hand up stroking Maria’s face.  The intimacy of the moment making both of them shiver. 

Maria leaned down and kissed Natasha as she surged her body upwards burying her fingers deeper in to the woman before pulling back out and the surging forward again.  Maria kissed Natasha as she let her body set the pace of her fingers. 

Natasha moved her legs up and wrapped them around Maria’s hips pulling Maria closer and deeper.  Natasha let out a deep moan at the new angle.  Maria buried her face into Natasha’s neck nipping at her collarbone as her body began to move faster.  Natasha rolled her hips into Maria’s fingers as the pace moved faster, meeting her at every thrust. 

Maria could tell Natasha was close.  Natasha’s fingers dug almost painfully into Maria’s shoulder.  This seemed only to fuel Maria forward as she picked up the pace moving at even faster speed.  

“Ohh.. god…Maria,” moaned out Natasha before she felt herself fall apart.

Maria thrusted one last time, curling them at the end of her thrust as Natasha clenched around her fingers.  Natasha cried out as she came, fingers digging into Maria’s back as thighs tightened their grip.  Maria let Natasha ride out her orgasm beneath her before her body stilled.   Natasha’s legs unraveled around Maria’s body and her hand lazily drew patterns up and down Maria’s back. 

Maria pulled out her fingers slowly, noting the shiver that went through Natasha’s body as she pulled out of her.  Wiping her hand on the sheets Maria stared down Natasha whom was currently breathing deeply with her eyes closed. 

Maria watched as Natasha’s breath finally steadied and green eyes stared up at her.  Natasha stretched beneath her, giving Maria lazy smile. 

“Well…that was perfect in every way possible,” teased Natasha. 

Maria smiled at her before leaning down and kissing her a few times on the lips before pulling back.

“Yes it was,” she agreed humming happily against Natasha’s lips. 

They kissed each other lazily just getting lost in the moment. 

The kisses that started slowly were now increasing in intensity and before Maria knew it Natasha had her flipped onto her back.  Maria looked up to see Natasha smiling wickedly down at her. 

“Now that was impressive,” teased Maria.

“You haven’t seen impressive yet,” countered Natasha before leaning down and swallowing Maria’s laugh with a passionate kiss. 

Natasha made love to Maria’s mouth as her hands reached down Maria’s body palming Maria’s breast, her fingers teasing her nipples.  Maria gasped into Natasha’s mouth but it was quickly swallowed by a bruising kiss. 

Natasha continued to tease Maria’s breasts with her hand before pulling back, throwing Maria a smirk before making her way down Maria’s body.  Natasha spent a good five minutes kissing and licking up and down Maria’s neck before making her way down her body.  Natasha kissed her way down and then over Maria’s breasts, making sure she worshipped each one equally. 

Maria threaded her fingers though Natasha’s hair as she started to move further down Maria’s body.  Natasha kissed her way across Maria’s abs, her lips and tongue leaving a burning trail in their wake.  Natasha continued her journey down, stopping at Maria’s hips, nipping at them lightly. 

Natasha heard Maria’s breath hitch at the nips at her hips.  Liking the little noises that Maria made at what Natasha was doing, Natasha spent a little more time on Maria’s hips, smiling at the sounds Maria made. 

Natasha traced her tongue from Maria’s hips down her thigh, to then her inner thigh.  Natasha was never known for her patience and in this moment, as she caught the scent, her lack of said patience had her surging forward.  This was typical Natasha, there was no experimenting touch, instead Natasha jumped in head first and just improvised from there.  She always worked better on her feet anyways.

Maria groaned at the feeling of Natasha’s tongue against her as her hands buried into her red hair.  Natasha attacked her ruthlessly.  Dipping her tongue inside of her before pulling out and concentrating on Maria’s extremely sensitive bud.  Maria shot off the bed as Natasha’s lips closed around her clit, sucking it into her mouth. 

“Fuck Natasha…”

Natasha tongue flicked relentlessly against Maria’s clit.  Natasha must have noticed that Maria was close as she increased her pace.  Maria cried out as she came with a raspy moan her body shaking.  Natasha slowed her pace, drawing out Maria’s orgasm. 

Her body spent, Maria dropped her hips back to the bed, closing her eyes as a content sigh left her lips.  She felt Natasha crawl up her body before settling on top of her.  The feeling of Natasha’s hand running through her hair had her moaning at the touch as she opened her eyes to stare up at a grinning Natasha.

“I can’t feel my toes.”       

“Toes are overrated,” replied Natasha smiled.

Maria grinned up at Natasha wrapping her arms around her body pulling the woman closer to her.  Natasha allowed herself to be pulled into Maria’s body as she tucked her head underneath Maria’s chin.  Exhaustion finally settled into both of them.  The emotional and now physical roller coaster that the two have been on for the past hour finally weighed down on both of them.  Natasha sighed into Maria’s skin, sound of Maria’s steady heartbeat beneath her ear lulling her to sleep.  Maria followed, not too far behind her.    

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well hopefully you enjoyed this new chapter. Once again I am sorry for the wait! Please let me know what you think of it.


	9. The Gate Keepers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We stopped checking under our beds for monsters when we realized they were inside of us."

Natasha slowly opened her eyes, her body felt so relaxed, so at peace, as she let the sound of Maria’s steady heartbeat ground her.  The feeling of Maria’s arms wrapped around her middle made her feel safe.  Natasha looked down at their naked bodies to find that they hadn’t moved a muscle throughout the night.

Natasha reached up slowly, not wanting to startle Maria as she began to run her fingers through her hair.  Natasha didn’t know why she was so obsessed with playing with Maria’s hair, but the small moan that left Maria’s lips let Natasha know that Maria didn’t seem to mind.  Natasha removed her hand not wanting to wake her up.  As she went to pull her hand away she was surprised when Maria’s hand came up and snagged her wrist gently, before leading Natasha’s hand back to her hair. 

Natasha smiled at this, wondering if Maria was awake or if she was doing this in her sleep.  She worked her hands back through Maria’s hair, and was greeted with another moan as Maria leant into her touch.  Natasha raked her hand through her hair for a few more seconds before pulling her hand back, seeing what Maria would do next.

Natasha waited for Maria’s hand to come up and move her hand back but it never happened.  Instead she was greeted with sleepy blue eyes staring up at her.  “Why’d you stop?” mumbled Maria, as she wrapped her arms tightly around Natasha. 

“I didn’t want to wake you,” said Natasha burrowing into Maria’s neck, placing small kisses along its base, as she ran her hand back through Maria’s hair.

“Mhmm” mumbled Maria closing her eyes at the touch.  “Feel free to wake me up like this anytime.”

“Is that your way of saying you want to wake up to me more often?” teased Natasha. 

Natasha watched as Maria’s eyes shot open at the comment, staring up at her with a small frown on her face.  Those blue eyes shining with uncertainty.  Natasha stopped her hand, pulling it away slowly, as she tried to fight the feeling of her heart dropping into her stomach.  She was usually good at reading situations and emotions of others.  Since the day she had met Maria Hill she felt drawn to the woman and Natasha couldn’t help but feel as if Maria was drawn to her as well.  But as Natasha stared down into those blue eyes, she couldn’t help but wonder if she had read their situation entirely wrong.  Natasha couldn’t take staring into those eyes any longer.  The feeling of embarrassment sweeping over her like waves as she looked away from Maria’s gaze.  Natasha pushed herself up off Maria with the intention of getting dressed and leaving with whatever dignity she had left.

She barely made it an inch off of Maria’s body before the feeling of Maria’s arms tightening around her forced her back down. 

“Sorry,” whispered Maria her arms tightening around Natasha’s middle.   “It’s just, I don’t understand how I feel right now.  These emotions, these feelings I have for you, all of it is terrifying.   I don’t like being vulnerable and in this moment I feel like you can hurt me more than anyone ever has, but at this same time, I trust you enough to know that you won’t.”

Natasha felt her heart skip at Maria’s words.  She paused as she processed her words and then carefully spoke.   

“I understand, and yes, it is terrifying.” Natasha paused to bring her hand up and cup Maria’s face.  “I barely know you, but I feel as though you have the power to hurt me, far beyond anything the Red Room ever did.  Physical pain is easy.  With time it always heals.  I am used to that pain, but with you, I am opening myself up to a new level of pain that I don’t think I am strong enough to handle.”

Maria brought her hand up to push Natasha’s hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear.  “I will mess up, I always do.  I do not handle my feelings well and with you I feel everything.”

Natasha smiled down at her.  “I am emotionally stunted as well.  The strongest feelings I ever had were towards a cufflink,” she joked but at the same time was somewhat serious.

 “You seem to be handling the separation to it pretty well,” quipped Maria as she smiled up at her. 

Natasha shrugged, “like I said, I trust you not to hurt me or my cufflink.”

Maria smiled up at her before reaching behind her neck to bring her head down, pulling her into a kiss.  Natasha smiled against her lips.

The sound of Maria’s cell phone ringing quickly ruined the moment, as Maria sighed into Natasha’s lips in frustration. 

“Ignore it,” mumbled Natasha as she playfully bit down on Maria’s lip.

Maria moaned at the bite but still reached back to grab the phone.  She placed a few kisses to Natasha’s lips before pulling away.

“This is Hill.” 

Maria had to look away from the adorable pout on Natasha’s face as she answered.

“Hill.  I need you in my office, now.”

Natasha’s eyebrows rose at Fury’s voice echoed up from the phone.

“It’s a Saturday, my only day off in the week,” replied Maria frustrated.

“You made the request to talk about PHASE I, and today is the day we talk about it.”

Maria tensed at his words.  She ignored Natasha’s questioning look at the topic of PHASE I.

“Yes sir.”

“Good,” replied Fury. 

There was a pause at the other end.

“Sir?”

“Tell Romanoff to come with you.”

Natasha and Maria’s eyes shot open at the comment as they looked at the phone in shock.

“Sir?”

“I may have one eye Hill, but I am not blind.”

Maria pulled the phone back from her ear, staring at it in shock.  Natasha smirked at his comment as she enjoyed the look of pure mortification on Maria’s face as she stared at the phone in disbelief.

“Romanoff!”

Fury voice echoed up from the phone, confident in the fact that she was with Maria.  

Maria was now in total shock as Natasha rolled her eyes at her before reaching forward and grabbing the phone.

“Boss?”

“I need you and Hill in my office.  You have 5 minutes to break Hill out of whatever shock induced coma she is currently in and get her here.”

Natasha eyes traveled back to Maria who was still clearly in shock.

“I got her.”

“Good,” Fury paused, “Ohh, and Romanoff.  You two deserve to be happy.” And with that he hung up.

It was Natasha’s turn to look at the phone with wide eyes, she wasn’t expecting that from Fury, but nonetheless appreciated his comment.  The man cared for his Agents far more then he led on, and clearly had a soft spot for Maria.  Natasha placed the phone on the bed before staring at Maria.

“The man wasn’t the best spy in SHIELD history for nothing Maria.  He picks up on things that most people wouldn’t even notice.  Hell, he probably knew about us before we knew about us.”

Natasha’s comment seemed to snap Maria out of her shock as she stared up at her.  She sighed but nodded, accepting Natasha’s statement about Fury, the man was certainly full of surprises. 

Maria leaned up and placed a kiss to Natasha’s forehead before rolling herself off the bed, groaning slightly as her muscles reacted painfully to the sudden movement.  Getting to her feet, Maria stretched, sighing as her muscles seemed to finally relax.    Maria looked down at her bed to see Natasha laying on her side, her head propped up with her arm, dark green eyes raking up Maria’s body clearly enjoying the sight.

Maria put her hands on her hips and looked up at the ceiling, clearly trying to get her libido under control. 

“I really need you to put some clothes on if we are going to get to Fury’s office in the next 3 minutes,” gritted out Maria staring everywhere but at a naked Natasha.

Natasha smiled up at her from the bed, enjoying the reaction Maria had to her staring. 

“I don’t know where you threw my clothes Commander,” teased Natasha raising an eyebrow at her and then made the action of looking around the room.  The only piece of clothing that she found right away was a shirt, which was currently in the doorway of the bathroom.  That one was her fault.   Her shorts and underwear were however nowhere to be seen.

Maria unsuccessfully held back a smile at Natasha’s comment as she walked towards her locker and pulled out some clothes. 

“Here where these.  I will find your clothes later.  Sorry about that I wasn’t really thinking about the morning after when…” Maria coughed, as Natasha watched a blush run up her neck, “before all, well…you know.”

“Yes, I do believe you were in quite a rush to fuck my brains out?” 

Natasha rolled over on her back and stretched on the bed, knowing exactly what she was doing, as she watched Maria eyes widened at the sight. 

“Christ Natasha!” exclaimed Maria. 

She put her hands on her hips again and stared up the ceiling letting out deep breaths.

“You are seriously killing me.  Do you even understand how much self-control I am using right now?” she asked as she dragged her eyes over to Natasha.  Her black eyes were now impossibly dark as she stared at Natasha. 

Maria suddenly moved with a quickness that surprised even Natasha and before Natasha knew it Maria was at the edge of the bed.  She was leaning over Natasha, her hands placed on each side of Natasha’s body.  She leaned down further, her eyes taking on an almost predatory look as her lips hovered just over Natasha’s.

“We did not fuck last night.  Last night was more than that,” Maria paused again her voice taking on a darker, huskier version of itself, “but, when I do decide to fuck your brains out, as you so eloquently put it, you will not be able to walk to the bathroom the next morning, let alone trek to Fury’s office.  I can promise you that.” 

And with that Maria pulled away, smirking at the notable a shiver that went through Natasha’s body. 

“Now get up, we are already late.”

*******

Maria and Natasha walked at a fast pace to Fury’s office.  Maria frequently had to fight the smile off her face as she stared over at Natasha.  Maria’s standard issues sweatpants had to be rolled up several times at the bottom, the hoodie was just as big, as Natasha literally was swimming in it.  It was quite possibly the most adorable thing Maria had ever seen.

Maria reached Fury’s door and held open the door for Natasha, who gave her an amused eye brow at the chivalrous actions but nonetheless walked into the room. 

“You two are late.”                                     

There was nothing she could say, they were late.  It was completely Natasha’s fault, but she wasn’t going to saw that.  So she remained silent.

Maria looked around the room to find Captain Steve Rogers standing at the other side of the room eyeing them critically.

“Captain Rogers,” said Fury indicating for Rogers to walk over.  “This is Agent Romanoff, code name the Black Widow.”

Rogers walked over to Fury standing next to him as he smiled at Natasha, nodding towards her.

Natasha nodded back, smiling. 

“And this is Commander Maria Hill.  She is the Deputy Director of SHIELD.”

Maria nodded to Rogers, stiffly, not nearly as welcoming as Natasha.

“Excuse the Deputy Director, Rogers,” said Fury shooting Maria a look as if it say ‘ _the man just woke up from a 70 year ice bath, you can’t be a little more friendly,’_ before continuing, “she does not have the most welcoming personality.”

At the comment Steve smiled nervously.

Natasha smirked. 

And Maria frowned. 

“Have a seat,” said Fury nodding to the table in his office.  “We are still waiting on a few more people.” 

Fury threw Maria a look that clearly shouted ‘ _behave’_ before exiting the office. 

Everyone took a seat around the table.  Maria and Natasha sat side by side as Rogers sat across from them. 

As Maria and Natasha sat in their seats waiting, Maria began to notice the major differences between the two of them.  Maria sat in her chair stoic, ever the soldier.  While Natasha was currently sitting in her chair, her feet tucked underneath her, spinning slowly in her chair, clearly bored.   Maria watched as every time Natasha’s chair turned in her direction, she would throw Maria a smile before spinning back around.  Maria rolled her eyes at the woman’s antics but couldn’t help the twitch of her lips at her behavior. 

Just then the door to the office opened and Natasha stopped her chair as Barton, Phil and Stark walked in the door.  Maria watched as Phil and Stark spoke softly to each other as they approached the table, something about a cellist?  

Barton took the open seat next to Natasha.  Maria watched Natasha swing her chair around to face Barton as the two engaged in heated whispers.  Barton must have said something to piss Natasha off as she leveled the man with a glare, hissed out, “you idiot,” and then proceeded to hit him up the side of the head. 

“Natasha what the hell?” whined Barton grabbing the back of his head but smirking.  It was then he noticed her outfit.  “Whose clothes are you wearing?”

Maria tensed slightly at his comment as she waited to see what Natasha would say, thankfully Natasha never had the chance as the door opened again to reveal Fury and the man Maria recognized from the New Mexico mission report, Thor. 

“Good, everyone is here,” said Fury indicating for the rest of the people in the room to take a seat. 

Stark moved and sat next Maria, smiling at her.

“Commander,” nodded Stark leaning back in his chair jokingly leering at her.

Maria shook her head at the man’s antics.

“Stark, “she said back before turning her head to see Phil smiling brightly next to Rogers.  If he smiled any bigger she was sure his face would split in half. 

Fury walked around the table, reports in his hand as he placed one in front of every person.

Maria reached forward and grabbed the report reading the title, “The Avengers Initiative.”  It was the exact same report she read on the computer, the notable ‘SCRAPPED’ stamped on the file.

Once everyone had their copy Fury sat at the head of the table. 

Fury leaned back in his chair as he spoke, “What you all have in front of you is an idea, Stark knows this,” everyone in the room all turned to Stark who pointedly ignored their looks.  “The idea is to bring together a group of remarkable people and see if they became something more.  To see if they can work together when we need them to.  To fight the battles that we never could.”

The table was silent as they all stared at Fury.

“It says in here you intend to bring Bruce Banner into this super-secret club, where is the good doctor?” asked Tony pointing to a page inside the report. 

“Dr. Banner has decided not to join the initiative.”

“We have a choice then?” asked Rogers speaking up.

“Of course,” nodded Fury.  “This is not an order.  This is a not even a SHIELD program, the World Security Council has voted to scrap the Avenger Initiative but I can’t in good conscious agree with their decision.  That is why I have decided to bring you all here and let you decide for yourselves if this is something you can do.”

“I can’t help but also point out that it says here on page 36,” said Stark pointing to a paragraph on the report, “that Commander Hill is too be in charge of the Avengers, why her and not you?”

Maria’s eyes opened wide at this as she quickly flipped to the page, her eyes getting bigger as she read the section Stark pointed out.

Fury nodded.

“In my opinion Commander Hill is the best qualified.  It was my intention to place her in charge of the team if the World Security Council approved of the program, but as that is not the case, I will not require her lead the team.  I do believe however for this team to run successfully she needs to be in charge, but she, like the rest of you, all have the option not to join the initiative.”

Maria finished reading the section in the report frowning at what she read before looking up to Fury.

“You want me to run an off the books program while being Deputy Director of SHIELD?”

Fury nodded. 

“I understand it is a lot.”

The room became silent as the people around the table all absorbed the information being thrown at them.

“Let’s just say that we all agree to this,” said Rogers breaking the silence. “If this is an off the books program how will it be funded?”

Fury nodded towards Stark as he spoke, “that is where Stark comes in.”

Stark’s eyebrows rose at this, “you want me to front the project?”

“Come on Stark this is everything you could ever dream of, admit it.  You are intrigued by the idea.  I know it.”

Stark silence told everyone in the room Fury was correct in his assumption.

“Look, this is a lot.  I understand that.  But I want you all to think about it.  I will not hold it against you if you do not join,” and with that Fury walked out of the room. 

Everyone was silent as they took in Fury’s words and also read through the report in front of them.  One by one everyone stood up and left the room.  Stark was first, followed by Thor, Rogers and Phil.  Barton and Natasha left together, something about preparing for a mission.  Natasha gave Maria a small smile as she pushed herself from the table and followed Barton out of the room.

Maria sat there for some time, reading through the file.  She must have been there for a while because the sound of Fury walking back into his office was heard.  Maria didn’t look up from her file and saw out of the corner of her eye the man pause just slightly at the door when he noticed she was still here. 

Fury made his way over to his desk, sitting down he leant back and staring at her, waiting for her to speak.

They say in silence for some time before Maria finally finished the report, for the second time.  She closed in at then turned in his direction.

“Is this why you recruited me to SHIELD?   To command the Avengers? After all this time, were you only after my abilities?”

Fury shook his head at her questions.

“No.  I brought you to SHIELD because I believe that you have the makings for a great Agent.”

Maria scoffed at this.

“I don’t know what you and Phil see in me Fury.  I know you both think I am strong, that I can be this great leader, not only for SHIELD but now for the Avengers.  But I know what is in here,” Maria paused as she held her hand over her chest as she stared with him her jaw clenched in anger.  “It is not pretty Fury.  It is not good.  And it certainly doesn’t warrant leading the Avengers, let alone being the Deputy Director of SHIELD.”

Maria’s thoughts accelerated in her head to the point that it made her dizzy.   

“I should have never came here…”

Fury interrupted her quickly.

“I want to show you something.”  Fury paused to type something into his computer for a few a minutes or so before bringing his head up and nod towards the screen at the far wall.  That was now displaying security from the training room.

Fury and Maria walked up to the screen, standing side by side.  Fury stepped forward and pushed a few buttons on the screen to show the training room last night. 

Maria noted that the training room was busy, as it usually was at night.  There had to be at least 100 Agents in there.  Maria watched as a commotion seemed to be happening in the weight section.  Fury stepped forward and made the screen larger and then pressed a few buttons to turn the sound on.

_“Davis, shut the fuck up, you don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”_

_“Oh…don’t tell me you jumped on the Commander Hill train too Foreman!”_

Maria raised her eye brows at the comment as she stared at the screen watching as one of the older Agents, Davis was it? Put his weights down and glare at the men around him.

_“I have been working for SHIELD for 20 years!  I put my blood and sweat into this place.  It should have been me.  I have the seniority, the respect of the crew and the leadership abilities.  I should be Deputy Director.  I earned it.”_

_“Fuck Davis, when are you going to stop bitching about that?”_

_“Ohh, come on Fisher!  You have more years in here then I do and you’re okay with that bitch coming in an ordering us around?  At least Fury put the time in to get to where he is.  But Hill just walks into this place, with barely any experience and starts barking out orders.  Its bullshit!”_

Maria watched as this Davis guy is getting louder and starts drawing attention. 

_“I heard she is fucking Romanoff too.  I guess that answers my question as to whether she slept her way to the top, fucking dike.”_

Maria’s body stiffened at this.  This man better hope he never runs into her on the helicarrier.    Maria watched as the men around Davis slowly started putting some distance between themselves and him as they noticed people starting to close in around them.

_“I mean the woman got her whole fucking team killed…”_

Maria lost her breath at his words.  Her eyes shut as the screams of her team seemed to echo throughout her head. 

_“Hey old man!  Why don’t you shut the fuck up!”_

Maria was pulled out of the haunted screams to see an unknown Agent step forward.  He was young, maybe only 25.  She watched as he stepped forward with several Agents at his back. 

Maria watched as the group of Agents surrounded Davis glaring at him.  Davis stopped his rant to see the glares being thrown at him before turning his eye on the male Agent who told him to shut up.

_“Agent Mayes, you want to repeat that boy?  Because I don’t know if I heard you correctly.”_

_“I said shut the fuck up Davis.  You don’t know jack shit about Commander Hill and if I so much as hear one more derogatory remark out of your voice about the Commander and her team, you are going to regret it.”_

_“Answer me this Mayes, what has the Commander done to earn you respect.  And if you tell me just because she is the Captain of the Black Angels she deserves to be Deputy Director…”_

_“You want to know why Commander Hill has our respect?”_

This was a voice Maria recognized.  Maria watched as Ruddy stepped forward.  Davis’s eyes widened at the sight of his superior officer but the idiot continued regardless,

_“Yes!  Please enlighten me as to why you all follow this woman so blindly!”_

Maria watched as Ruddy glared at the man before looking back to his four team members.  He nodded at them as they stepped forward.  They walked towards Davis, and Maria watched as Davis’s eyes went wide, his body tensing preparing to defend himself.  He never got the chance though because Ruddy and his team stopped about 3 feet from Davis, got down on one knee and bowed their head. 

Maria’s heart stopped.  He isn’t going…no he isn’t…

_“Ruddy what the hell…”_

_“Lord, make me fast and accurate…”_

Maria closed her eyes willing back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. 

_“Let my aim be true and my hand be faster than those who would seek to destroy me.”_

Maria watched through blurry eyes as a team of 6 stepped forward, Mayes being one of them stepped up next to Ruddy and his team, kneeling beside them, placing their hands on their shoulder and also bowing their heads as their voice joined with theirs.

_“Grant me the victory over my foes...”_

More Agents stepped forward now.

_“And those that wish to do harm to me and mine.  Let not my last thought be, if I only had a gun.”_

Davis was completely surrounded by Agents on their knees, their heads bowed and hands on their shoulders. 

_“And lord if today is truly the day that you call me home, let me die in a pile of empty brass.”_

The silence in the room was defining, after a few moments of silence Ruddy slowly rose to his feet, the rest of the Agents were still on their knees their heads bowed. Tears were flowing freely down Maria’s face now.  Her lungs burned from her lack of breath as her heart pounded painfully against her chest, trying to break free. 

_“Captain Hill and the Black Angels got down on their knees in the middle of the camp, every day, and said that prayer.  I watched them.”_

Ruddy paused as he looked around at the still kneeling Agents.

_“All of us did.”_

Maria looked away from the screen closing her eyes, unable to watch it any longer but Ruddy’s voice still echoed throughout the room. 

_“We would watch them on their knees, say their prayer, then leave on a mission or rescue OP.  Every day they would come back, dirty, bloody with a rescued platoon.  But every morning we noticed that they seemed to be praying a little longer.  At first it was 1 minute, then it was 5, then it was ten…fifteen…thirty…”_

Silence brought Maria brought her eyes back to the screen to watch Ruddy move to stand toe to toe with Davis.

_“You want to know why Davis?”_

He was greeted with silence.

_“Because every day after their prayer they paid their respect to every brother they couldn’t save.   Captain Hill and the Black Angels said every name, every day, no matter how big the list got.  Charles Ruddy, my brother joined that list on August 17, 2013 and every day after that Captain Hill and her team never forgot my brother’s sacrifice.”_

_“You know why they were called the Black Angels, Davis?”_

Maria couldn’t take this for very much longer but found herself unable to move, frozen. 

_“It was because they were the gatekeepers to the promise land.  Because of them, no soldier went unloved.  No Soldier walked alone.  No soldier was ever forgotten. The Black Angels always made sure every solider found their way home.”_

Ruddy paused as he glared at Davis.  He was breathing heavily now in barely suppressed rage.

_“Respect is not given Davis.  It is earned, and Captain Hill and the Black Angels earned our respect not only because of the lives they saved, or the battles they won, but instead for what they did every day for our fallen brothers.”_

Maria watched as Ruddy finished his speech to Davis barely above a whisper.  He leveled the man with a glare before turning to his fellow Agents, all still on their knees but looking at him now.   Ruddy was now staring at a man on his knees in the middle of the group and Maria couldn’t help the gasp that left her throat at the sight of Coulson, in a suit among workout clothes, on his knees staring up at Ruddy.  

_“Captain Hill and her team welcomed our fallen brothers to the promise land every day.  Now, I believe it is our turn to pay them the same respect…” Rudy got down on his knees and spoke._

_“Anthony Mathious…”_

Maria’s heart lurched at the name. 

_“Drew Garrison…”_

A choked sob escaped her lips.

_“Connor Ward…”_

She began to walk away, her legs faltering at every name.

_“Warren Braddock…”_

Her hand shook as she reached for the door, twisting the hand and pulling it open. 

_“Matthew Coulson…”_

Maria walked out of the room Rudy’s voice following her as if it manifested into her shadow.

_"Step forward now brothers, you’ve borne your burdens well. Walk peacefully into the promise land, you’ve done your time in hell."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you guys think? Let me know! I love reading your comments!


	10. The Best Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a while since my last update but I honestly have been struggling with this chapter for weeks! I know where are want to go with this story I am just struggling with the best direction of how to get there. Well even though I pained through this chapter I still like it and hope that you do as well. Enjoy :)

Fury doesn’t get nervous anymore.  It has been 10 years since Fury even felt the smallest tingling of nervousness in his body.   For a while now he just believed it was biologically impossible for him.  That was until this moment.

He couldn’t find Hill, anywhere.  He combed through hours of video surveillance only to find that Hill had used her access code to delete any footage that would even hint to where she was at.  Fury was walking the helicarrier now and he has been at it for an hour with no luck. 

Fury found an empty hallway and allowed himself to place his back to the wall and sigh.  As he let his body sag against the wall he rubbed the back of his neck in frustration.  Yes, he may have pushed Hill too far by showing her the surveillance feed.  Fury knew he pushed her past her breaking point as soon as she watched Ruddy kneel.

Fury thought that it would be what Hill needed.  Just the right push in order for her to see why she was so special, why she was so respected. 

But it all fell apart.  Fury wanted to stop the feed the as soon as he realized that the video was having the opposite effect on Hill.  Instead of gaining confidence in her leadership abilities Fury watched Hill get smaller.  Fury could see her retreating within herself and when she turned around to leave the room, the haunted, almost black eyes that he saw made his stomach turn.

_“I know what is in here…It is not pretty Fury.  It is not good.”_

Hill’s words echoed in his mind.

Fury’s body sagged against the wall in defeat.  Fury knew Hill fought her own internal battles on a daily basis.  But it wasn’t until this moment that he realized what battle it really was.  Hill’s words, the darkness in her eyes, let Fury know that his “push” just ignited a battle that lied deep within her. 

The battle of good and bad runs through the heart of every man.  The problem with that is the bad doesn’t fight fairly, which only makes the good more determined to be honorable, forcing the bad to become even more devious.  Fury knew well enough that any competition between good and bad always ended in chaos.  And it wasn’t a question of who will win but rather how fatal this chaos will be. 

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Fury knew he forced Hill on this path, but as to what Hill was going to come out at the end—the good or the bad, that, he didn’t know.   And that made him very nervous.  

                                                                     ***

Natasha was back in her SHIELD uniform, much to her dislike.  If given a choice she would be wear Maria’s sweatshirt and hoodie for the rest of her life.  They smelled like her, they made her feel safe and warm.  But the looks she received from the fellow Agents around her as she walked to her room told her it wouldn’t be smart to keep them on any longer. 

Natasha refused to feed the rumor mill. 

Natasha found herself in Coulson’s office watching Stark and Rogers verbally spar.  Natasha, Clint and Coulson had just put the finishing touches on their scheduled mission for next week before Stark and Rogers walked in.  They had been going at it for a good 10 minutes now, regardless of Coulson’s attempt to get them to stop. 

“Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

Natasha smirked at that.  He had a point.

“I know guys with none of that worth ten of you. I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”

“I think I would just cut the wire.”

 **“** Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”

 “A hero, like you? You're a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.” 

“Put on the suit, let's go a few rounds.”

Coulson looked like he was about to step in again but he was saved from having to as Fury walked into the room. 

Like always when Fury walked into a room all eyes were on him.  Fury exuded a sense of power that most people couldn’t help but be drawn to.  Natasha stared at the man, and it didn’t take a body language expert to see that something was wrong.  He looked nervous.

“What’s wrong?” said Natasha getting up, her question making everyone around them freeze.

“Have any of you seen Hill?”

“The Deputy Director?” asked Rogers.

Coulson stepped forward.  “We haven’t seen her since the meeting.  What’s going on?”

Fury sighed and Natasha’s heart dropped.  This was not good.

“Commander Hill has been AWOL for the past 2 ½ hours.”

Natasha moved instantly to Coulson’s desk.  Sitting down at his chair she began to type away furiously at the keyboard.  She hacked into the security feed quite easily as she avoided Fury and Coulson’s stares. 

“Romanoff.  I checked the feed.  She deleted everything.”

Natasha’s fingers froze above the keyboard as she eyed Fury over the computer.

“What happened?” Natasha glared at him over the monitor.  The hiss in her voice had everyone freezing.

Coulson and Barton were looking at her with wide eyes.  She knew they haven’t seen her like his in a long time, not since her reprogramming.

Fury tensed at her tone but answered her.

“I pushed her too far.”

The room went silent.

“What did you do?”

Natasha’s eyebrows rose as she realized the harsh question did not come from her lips but rather Coulson’s.  Natasha turned to see Coulson stepping up to Fury.  His body tense.

Natasha watched as Fury and Coulson seemed to have a staring match for a few seconds.  Fury sighed and then nodded at Phil.

“I showed her the footage from the gym.”

“Shit!” Yelled Coulson in a very un-Coulson like manner as he turned from Fury and started to pace the room. Coulson began pacing the room clearly in a fit of rage before he turned back to Fury pointing at him.

“I told you not to push her!  I told you she wasn’t stable enough for what you want her to be!  She needs time to heal!  You have no idea what you have done, you have no idea!” 

Coulson actually looked like he was about to punch Fury but Stark quickly stepped in between them. 

“What in the hell is going on?!” yelled Stark looking between Fury and Coulson.

“What is going on is that Director Fury pushed an unstable Special Forces Captain diagnosed with severe PTSD into a mental break.”

“She was going to quit Coulson.  I could see it, she forced my hand.”

“No this isn’t about her.  This is about you!  You wanted your leader.  You needed her to lead the Avengers, she hesitated and you pushed her!”

Coulson made the action of hitting Fury as Rogers stepped forward holding him back. 

Stark swiftly moved to Coulson’s computer, sidestepping Natasha as he sat in the chair.  Stark typed quickly his eyes never leaving the screen.

Natasha stepped around the desk and approached Fury, her mind moving a mile a minute. 

“We are still in the air.  Has any jets left the airstrip?”

“No,” said Fury shaking his head.  “I gave the order to stop all jets as soon as I couldn’t find her.  She is somewhere on this ship.”

“I got her,” yelled Stark from the computer.  Every one turned their eyes to him.  They watched as Stark typed at the computer for a few seconds before bringing his head up to the screen at the end of the room. 

Stark got up from his chair and approached the screen as he starting typing away at his phone.  He pushed a few buttons and then made a flicking motion at his phone as security footage was now displayed on the monitor.

“She deleted the footage but I was able to recover it.”  Stark paused as he typed a few things into his phone and they were greeted with multiple views of Maria walking down a hallway.  

Natasha stepped forward to the screen.  There was a zombie like fashion in the way Maria moved.  This was not the Maria’ Hill that she knew.  Natasha watched as Maria turned down a few hallways before stopping outside a door that Natasha instantly recognized.  It was the door to the broiler room, a place where no one goes.

Natasha didn’t wait to see if Maria entered the door as she walked out of the room at a fast pace.  The sound of footsteps following her as she left the office only spurred her to go faster. 

Within three minutes Natasha was at the opposite side of the ship standing outside the door.  Natasha reached out and grasped the exposed wires and within seconds had the door unlocking.  She pulled it open and was surprised to find a hand holding it open for her.  Stark gave her a look and Natasha nodded her thanks before entering the door and then descending down the steps. 

Natasha reached the bottom of the steps and as she turned the corner a faint voice reached her ears.

“Herman Schall, Private, 1-5-6-5-0-9-3-8-6, Ronnie Coit, Corporal, 2-4-8-3-6-4-7-2. Stanton Peach, Private, 1-3-4-8-1-0-2-3-7-1…”

Natasha paused staring down the hallway. 

“Brian Duer, Lance Corporal 5-7-9-4-6-2-1-1…”

Natasha turned in towards the men behind her, confusion evident on her face.  She could see everyone but Fury and Coulson were also confused by Hill’s voice.  Natasha concentrated on Coulson’s face, reading the man. Coulson staring passed Natasha at the corner where the voice was echoing from, the corner his mouth in a thin line as tears started to gather in his eyes. Natasha looked passed Coulson to see Fury standing behind him, as she made eye contact with him, Fury looked away, shame evident on his face.  

Natasha heart dropped.  This was not good at all.  She turned back to the voice. 

“Danial Belding, Captain 1-2-6-8-7-9, Ivan Matte, Corporal, 6-5-4-2-2-6-4…”

Natasha stepped forward, not making any sudden movements or sounds. 

“Malik Holzwarth, 2nd Lieutenant, 9-7-2-1-6-8-4…”

Natasha rounded the corner and entered the room.  She couldn’t hear the men following her but knew they were there.  The room was dimly lit, just enough to see her surroundings.  She couldn’t see Maria but she followed the voice. 

“Johnnie Pichardo, Captain, 7-2-0-1-7-3, Chet Hintzen, Private, 8-7-2-3-4-5-6-8-1…”

Natasha walked along the pool table, the voice getting louder.

“Irwin Carlen, 1st Lieutenant, 6-2-6-8-4-2-9…”

Natasha rounded a metal gate and froze at the sight that greeted her. 

There was Maria Hill.  Her body tucked into the corner of the room.  Her knees were tucked up into her body, her arms wrapped around them as her chin rested on top of them.  Her glasses were off and clenched in her hand.  Natasha watched as Maria rocked back and forth, her eyes staring blankly ahead.

“Erik Luce, Sergeant, 7-2-5-6-7-2-1-0, Darren Reisinger, Sergeant Major, 2-4-6-8-6-2-9…

Natasha brought her eyes up to the men now entering the room.  They made the action of coming closer but Natasha held up her hand and shook her head, halting them in the process.

Natasha turned her head back to Maria.  Natasha crouched down in front of Maria but still keeping some distance between her and the woman.  From this distance she could see that Maria’s eyes were completely glazed over.  Natasha may have been only crouching just five feet away from Maria, but Natasha knew that to Maria she was a thousand miles away. 

“Tobias Mcafee, Captain, 7-2-1-6-2-0-0….

Natasha sat cross legged in front of Maria as she watched her continue to repeat names.  Natasha heard Coulson say that Maria had severe PTSD and by the looks of this episode Maria was having some sort of mental break.  Natasha never suffered from these.  Sure she had night terrors and sometimes flashbacks but this was something different.  This is something well beyond Natasha had ever experienced.

Natasha thought about what to do, how to help as she watched Maria struggle

As she thought of her plan of action she watched as Maria finally stopped saying names as she came to a still.  Natasha leaned forward wondering if Maria finally broke through it.  Maria eyes made contact with Natasha as they went from emotionless and to complete terror.

“Don’t touch me,” Maria flinched back from Natasha as she turned her body and pressed herself into the wall. 

“Maria,” said Natasha softly but not moving a muscle.  “It’s Natasha…”

“Please take me…let my team go Ross,” cried out Maria.  “You can do anything.  I will do anything.  Please just help them.  Help them!  They are in pain!  Please!”

Maria was looking around the room now in a frantic.  She covered her ears now shaking.

“Please they are screaming!”

Natasha’s heart broke as she watched Maria tremble, tears streaming down her face.  

Maria suddenly stopped shaking and her head frantically looking around the room, obviously hearing something in her nightmare clouded mind.

“Matt!  I hear you!”

“Coulson!  Don’t you give up!  You fight it you hear me! Don’t you die on me!”

Natasha couldn’t take it any longer.  She slowly inched forward. 

“Maria listen to my voice.  Come on listen to my voice.  You are on the SHIELD helicarrier.  You are safe…”

“Coulson don’t you dare leave me!  Fight for Jen!  Fight for Phil!  Fight it Coulson! Coulson come on talk to me!  Coulson!  Matt!”

“Maria, listen to my voice, you are safe…”

“Please,” sobbed Maria as she put her hands over head her body shaking as sobs of anguish racked her body. “Please don’t leave me Matt.  I can’t do this alone, I am not strong enough without you guys with me…please come back…please…”

Natasha knew that this was the wrong thing to do.  She knew that Maria could easily kill her with her bare hands.  Natasha knew that you are not supposed to touch soldiers when they are experiencing a PTSD attack, but honestly she couldn’t take it any longer. 

Natasha reached out and touched Maria as gently as she could.

“Maria listen to me.  You are safe.  I have you….”

Maria flinched at the touch but didn’t lash out.

“I can’t do this alone…”

Natasha moved closer now.  Grabbing one of Maria’s shaking hands she put it in her lap and started to run her fingers over the top of her hand.  “You are not alone Maria…”

Maria didn’t pull her hand away, her body continued to shake with her head was buried in the corner.

“Please no more Ross…just kill me…” Maria whispered into the wall. 

Natasha paused in her movements.  The sound of Maria’s haunted whispered voice, begging to be killed, will forever haunt Natasha’s dreams.  Natasha had to look away for a second, the view of such a proud, strong, courageous woman, now so broken, so scared, begging for death, it was hard to see.

Natasha stared down at Maria’s hand as her fingertips continued drawing their pattern on Maria’s hand.  Natasha noticed Maria’s hand seemed to shake less in her lap.  Maria no longer cried out.  Natasha didn’t know how long they sat there.  It could have been seconds, minutes, hours...

“Nat…”

Natasha looked up from Maria’s hand and was greeted with blue eyes.  Natasha smiled at her, a reply at the tip of her tongue, but before she could she watched Maria’s eyes roll up in the back of her head as she collapsed into Natasha.

Natasha moved fast catching Maria in her lap.

“Fuck! Help!”

Natasha heard footsteps from behind her as she was surrounded by the guys. 

“Jarvis scan,” said Stark getting down by Natasha holding his phone out over Maria. 

Natasha watched a bright light shoot from Starks phone down Maria’s body.

“Commander Hill doesn’t have any injuries.  It seems the Commander is suffering from exhaustion sir.” 

Natasha sighed with relief as she worked her hands through Maria’s hair.  She looked up to the men standing around her.  She made eye contact with Coulson and almost lost her breath at the sight of tear stains down Coulson’s face.  Natasha not wanting Coulson to feel uncomfortable moved on to stare up at Fury.

“She can’t wake up in medical.”

Fury stared down at her for a few seconds.  His eyes going down to Hill frowning but then bringing his eyes back up to Natasha before nodding. 

“We will take her to her office.  It’s the closest to here.”

Coulson nodded as he stepped forward. 

“We will need to clear the hallways.  Stark can you disable the security feed?” he paused before watching Stark nod before turning to Fury, “You need to order a lockdown.  The Agents can’t see her like this.  She will already be upset that we’ve seen her like this.”

Fury nodded to Coulson, agreeing with him as he stepped back and pulled out his phone.  He saw out of the corner of his eye Stark typing away on his phone.

“Ruddy.  This is a code black.  I need every Agent on lockdown.”

“Ready to disable security footage.”

Fury nodded at Stark, “Ruddy, security footage is going to go dark for 5 minutes as well,” he listened to Ruddy’s response.  “Just do it!” he ordered and then he hung up the phone. 

The faint sound of a siren.

**“This is a code black.”**

Ruddy’s voice sounded over the announcement system. 

**“All Agents report to their rooms.  I repeat this is a code black.”**

“Disable the surveillance system Stark.  By the time we reach the upper level the hallways will be clear.

Rogers crouched down and slowly reached for Maria as he kept eye contact with Natasha.  Natasha couldn’t help the protectiveness that seemed to flow through her as her body tensed. 

“I got her Natasha.  Let me help.”

Natasha had to fight every instinct in her body not to lash out at him.  She took a steady breath, looking down at Maria for a few seconds, before bringing her gaze back to Rogers and nodding.  She reached forward and grabbed Maria’s glasses ou of her hand.

Rogers reached out slowly and gently took Maria into his arms picking her up as if the woman weighed nothing. 

“We have to move,” said Fury.

Everyone moved at his words as they proceeded out of the room and then up the stairs.  They all walked in silence all the way back to Maria’s office.

*******

_45 minutes later_

“She should be up by now,” said Coulson pacing the office glancing over at the still passed out Maria on the couch.

“Jarvis has been monitoring her since she came in here.  She is fine Coulson, she just needs to rest.”

Natasha faintly listened to the conversation going around them as she sat cross-legged on a small table next to the couch, her green eyes watching Maria’s chest rise and fall.  She hadn’t spoken or moved since Maria was placed on the couch.   Natasha heart continued to beat painfully against her chest as she watched tried to push Maria’s screams, her sobs, those haunted eyes, to the back of her mind. 

But with every fall of Maria’s chest Natasha couldn’t help the panic that seemed to overwhelm her, Maria’s screams echoing through her mind, but then quickly retreating as Maria’s chest rose with a breath.  The process repeated itself for too long and Natasha was certain that she would be going insane right now if it weren’t for the feeling of Maria’s hand under her fingertips. 

As soon as Maria was placed on the couch she reached out and started tracing fingers along the palm of Maria’s hand.  Natasha told herself that it was for Maria, she liked this, but Natasha knew better.  Natasha needed to touch her.  She needed to feel her warm skin under her fingertips.  Every five minutes or so Natasha would drag her hand up Maria’s wrist and as her fingertips dancing over Maria’s pulse, feeling the steady rhythm beneath her fingertips, before bringing them back down Maria’s hand.  The feeling of Maria’s skin, her warmth, her heartbeat, it grounded Natasha.   

After about 45 minutes of tracing patterns into Maria’s palm Natasha pulled away, her shoulder on fire from holding her hand out for so long.

“Sir, the Commander’s heart rate has increased.”

Jarvis’s voice echoed from the phone.

“I would advise that Agent Romanoff does not lose contact with the Commander.  It seems to calm her.”

Natasha quickly moved her hand back to Maria’s, ignoring the flair of pain that shot through her shoulder. 

The sound of Jarvis reporting that the Commander’s heart beat steadied was faintly heard.

Natasha continued to draw the patterns getting lost in the feeling again.  She didn’t know how long she sat there after bringing her hand back.  She was in a daze now.   Natasha didn’t know if the conversations around her stopped or she just wasn’t listening.  The silence that seemed to echo throughout her mind was by far more unsettling than Maria’s screams.

That was when she felt it, the feeling of a fingertip moving slowly, shaking slightly against the center of her palm.  Natasha’s hand froze and her eyes shot to Maria’s face as watched Maria’s eyes slowly opened. 

It took a few seconds for Maria to keep her eyes open as they adjusted to the light.  Natasha willed her fingertips to move bringing Maria’s eyes open, blue eyes staring at her. 

“Hey stranger,” whispered Natasha fighting every urge to take the woman into her arms, hold her and never let go.

Natasha could tell Maria was fighting the urge to take in her surroundings as she kept eye contact with her. 

“Hey.” 

Her voice was raspy and weak. 

The two sat there in silence.  Natasha saw out of the corner of her eye the men move silently out of Maria sight, not wanting to set her into a panic. 

“What happened?”

Natasha’s eye brow furrowed as she stared down at Maria, not really knowing how to proceed with this. 

“How about you tell me what you remember first and I will fill in the gaps from there.” 

The gentleness in Natasha’s voice surprised her, gentle was not one of her strongest suits.

Maria nodded and winced, her body was so stiff.   Natasha watched as Maria stared up at the ceiling trying to remember the day.

“We woke up, you were playing with my hair…”

Natasha couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face at Maria’s words.  She nodded at Maria letting her know she was doing well.

“Fury called,” Maria paused and her eyes widened a little, “he knows about us.”

Natasha had to fight the urge to look up to see the men in the room’s reaction to Maria’s story, no doubt there was shock written on all of their faces besides Fury. 

Natasha nodded, “he does.”

“We went to his office…the Avenger Initiative…”

Natasha nodded again, her smile disappearing as Maria’s recollection was getting closer to her trigger.

“Fury…” Maria paused as Natasha watched her concentrate deeply on trying to remember.  Maria’s eyes shot open her eyes meeting Natasha’s.  “The surveillance feed…Ruddy…”  Maria’s hand clenched around Natasha’s painfully.  “I can’t remember...”

Natasha squeezed Maria’s hand back.  Natasha watched as Maria’s body tensed, realization coming to her eyes as she quickly looked away from her.  They sat there in silence for a few moments before Maria spoke, her voice just above a whisper, still refusing to meet Natasha’s eyes. 

“Did I hurt anyone?”

Natasha’s heart clenched painfully at the vulnerability in Maria’s voice.  Natasha brought Maria’s hand up to her face holding it against her cheek, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of her hand.

“No,” said Natasha watching as Maria brought her eyes back to her at her words.  “We found you in the Broiler Room.” 

Maria processed Natasha’s words her body going still as she truly grasped Natasha’s statement.

“We?”

Natasha knew Maria wasn’t going to like this.  She brought her eyes up to the men at the back of the room making eye contact with all of them before bringing her eyes back down to Maria.  Natasha almost lost her breath at the insecurity that she found in Maria’s eyes. 

Natasha nodded. 

“Coulson, Fury, Stark, Rogers and Barton.”

Maria rolled her eyes up to the ceiling trying to will back the tears that began to form in her eyes at Natasha’s words.  Natasha watched as Maria fought back the tears for a few moments and then little my little Maria’s walls came up.  Natasha watched the process and over a matter of seconds she no longer looking down at Maria, but Commander Hill. 

“Glasses?” asked Maria.

Natasha into her pocket and grabbed Maria’s glasses before slipping them into Maria’s hand. 

A shaky hand grabbed the glasses and then clipped them into place before giving Natasha’s hand a firm squeeze.

“Help me up,” said Maria gripping Natasha’s hand as she allowed Natasha to help her up. 

Maria sat up on the couch, wincing slightly as her muscles contracted painfully throughout her back before turning her head to the men at the far end of the room.

Maria stared at every single one of them, noting the frowns that marred each one of their faces before her eyes stopped on Coulson.

“How bad was it?”

Coulson sighed as he stepped forward approaching Maria slowly.

“It was worse than Detroit but not as bad as Brooklyn.”

Natasha watched as Maria eyed the man critically as they stared at each other as if they were having a silent conversation.  Natasha assumed that Coulson was telling Maria the severity of her PTSD attack.  Natasha couldn’t fathom what happened in Brooklyn.  The thought of an attack worse then what she just witnessed sent shivers down her spine.

Maria nodded then sighed as she brought her eyes back across the room.

“I am sorry you had to witness that, but thank you for any help that you contributed in getting me back here safely.”

Maria watched as every man nodded to her as her eyes came to a stop at Fury.

“You can’t push me.”

Fury tensed at her comment as he watched her.

Maria rose to her feet, slowly shakily as she stepped towards the man.

“I am not a naïve Agent that you can manipulate to do your bidding.  You knew what you were getting when you recruited me.  So I will repeat this one last time Fury, don’t push me,” said Maria her voice hard.

“Cause’ there is something inside me, something dark and twisted, a monster capable of horrible, terrifying things.  I keep it under lock and key.”

Maria stepped closer to him now. 

“But push me again and I can’t guarantee I can keep it caged.  It snarls, growls, and strains towards it freedom every day, and one push from you, no matter how good the intention, could be just the fuel it needs to break out.”

Natasha watched as two very powerful figures clashed as Maria and Fury stood toe to toe staring at each other, each one refusing to yield.  It was awkward to watch at first, but after several minutes of neither one of them moving a muscle it became downright uncomfortable.  Natasha waited with baited breath as she watched the silent power struggle between Director and Deputy Director, spy and soldier. 

“It won’t happen again.”

The only response Fury received at his words was a short nod but it was enough of a movement on her part to allow everyone watching to breathe a sigh of relief. 

Maria turned to everyone in the room. 

“I would like to speak to Agent Coulson, privately.”

It wasn’t a request, and everyone including Fury knew that.  Everyone started to filter out of the room.  Natasha was the last one to move as she hesitated at the door, casting a worried glance back at Maria. 

Maria saw Natasha hesitate.  Maria tried to soften her facial features as much as possible before giving her a nod, hoping it was enough to let her know she was okay. 

Natasha seemed to understand as she returned Maria’s nod before walking out of the office shutting the door behind her. 

Maria moved behind her desk as she sat in her chair.  Closing her eyes she leaned back and sighed.  She heard Coulson take a seat in front of her desk. 

Not opening her eyes she spoke.

“Tell me.”

Maria didn’t open her eyes at Coulson’s silence she knew the man would speak eventually.

“Fury couldn’t find you.  He knew that he pushed you too far.  He came to us asking if we had seen you.  Natasha acted first trying to get you on the surveillance, but you deleted all the footage.  She was very…upset.”

Maria opened her eyes and stared at him.

“She didn’t do anything stupid, did she?”

Coulson grimaced.

“No.  Not because she didn’t want to.  I beat her to it.”

“What did you do Phil?”

“I lost my temper.”

Maria’s eyebrows rose at this.  She had only seen Phil lose his temper on one other occasion and it was well warranted but still not a pretty sight.

“I almost hit Fury.  Roger’s held me back.”

Maria wanted to be mad at him, she wanted to scold him, but honestly the thought of Phil almost hitting Fury made her smirk. 

“I would have actually liked to have seen that Phil.”

Coulson smiled sheepishly. 

“Not one of my better moments,” he admitted. 

They sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Maria cleared her throat, her smirk disappearing.

“What happened next?”

“Stark was able to recover the deleted footage.  We watched you enter a door and then went to find you.  Natasha knew the way so we followed her.  We got to the bottom of the steps, we didn’t see you but we could hear you.  You were going through the list again…”

Maria tensed slightly but took a deep breath steadying herself before nodding to Coulson to continue. 

“Natasha went in first.  She found you in the corner.  You were catatonic.  You didn’t even know she was there.  You just kept going through the list…”

“How far was I?”

Phil paused as Maria watched him try and remember.  After a few moments he answered.

“Tobias Mcafee.”

Maria’s eyebrows rose at this.  Tobias Mcafee, Captain, 7-2-1-6-2-0-0, he was number 631 out of the 868 names Maria had engraved into her brain.  She must have been at it for a long time before she was found.

“So I was gone for quite some time.”

Coulson nodded. 

“Fury came to us after he searched the ship for 2 hours with no luck.”

Silence over took the room again as Maria processed the information and Coulson waited until she was ready to hear more.

“If it was worse than Detroit then I had to do more than just the list.”

Coulson nodded at her as he sighed. 

“You started having flash backs of the black site.”

“And I didn’t hurt anyone?” asked Maria not entirely convinced that she didn’t.  Anytime she had flashbacks from the black site she always lashed out at someone or something.

“No,” said Coulson interrupting her train of thought.  “You didn’t hurt anyone.  But these were different…”

Maria eyebrows rose at this.  As she turned in her chair to face Coulson the look in his eyes telling her she wasn’t going to like this. 

“Tell me.”

Coulson looked away from Maria as he took in a deep breath and spoke.

“You were begging.  You were asking Ross to help you team.  You kept covering your ears, you kept saying you heard them screaming.”

Maria sat back in her chair as she processed Coulson’s words.  That was certainly different.  She never had an attack like that. 

“How did you break me from it?”

Coulson cleared his throat at this and knew what he was about to say was going to make Maria very unhappy. 

“I didn’t.  Natasha did.”

The room went deadly silent as Maria had to fight the overwhelming urge to lash out at Coulson.

“You know what I am capable of and you still let her near me?” the question came out in a hiss as Maria leveled Coulson with a glare.

Coulson looked away from her glare and nodded. 

“I couldn’t move.  These flashbacks were different.  I can deal with you lashing out.  I can deal with you angry.   I couldn’t handle this though, this was something…”

Maria saw tears starting to gather in Coulson’s eyes as he looked away from her.

“Phil?”

Anger no longer clouding her vision, instead she was no concerned for her friend.

“You were yelling for Matt.”

Maria froze and finally understood what happened down there and why Coulson was having such a hard time with this one.

“You were begging him to not give up.  You kept screaming for him over and over again…” Coulson’s voice broke off as he stopped talking trying to get his emotions under control.

Maria had to fight back her own tears as she watched Coulson wipe at the few that escaped from his eyes.   She didn’t pressure him anymore.  She waited until he was ready to speak. 

“I was stuck.  I couldn’t help myself let alone you.  And before I knew it Natasha reached out and touched you…”

Maria sucked in a breath at that. 

“She reached out to you before I could stop her.”

Coulson knew all too well what happened when you touched Maria when she was having a PTSD attack.  Coulson checked in on Maria one time in her apartment in Detroit.  She didn’t answer but Coulson heard her yelling in her apartment.  Coulson broke down the door and found Maria with a gun in her hand, her apartment completely destroyed.  She was having a flashback and kept hallucinating Ross in the room. 

_“I will kill myself before I let you touch me again.”_

Maria brought the gun up to her head and Coulson acted out of pure instinct, throwing  himself at Maria.  He ended up wrestling the gun away but not before she broke his arm, perforated his eardrum and cracked his jaw. 

His jaw still clicks to this day. 

Maria broke out of her flashback quickly after the scuffle to find Coulson passed out on the floor.  She rushed him to the emergency room, saying that she was his sister and that he had been mugged.  It was certainly an interesting couple days that was for sure.

The thought of Natasha touching her when she was like that made Maria skin crawl.  What she did to Phil was nothing compared to what she was truly capable of. 

“Maria,” said Coulson softly, drawing her attention back to him. 

“You let her touch you.  As soon as she touched you, you started coming back, faster than I have ever seen.”

Maria’s heart skipped a beat at his words, her mind struggling with the information that Coulson just told her. 

Coulson noticed this.  He would give Maria time to process all of this.  Getting up from his chair he proceeded to the door.  With his hand on the handle he paused.  He didn’t turn around but spoke his mind.

“That monster that you keep locked inside you, she was once an angel.  General Ross took her from the light and turned her into something hungry, something dark.  Call her a monster, and soon other people will start call her monster as well.  Everyone will start treating her like a monster, and after a while, she will start believing it herself.  And when she breaks free, she will act like one.”

“But remember what she once was.  Just because she is dark doesn’t mean she is not good.  She may no longer be light, but that doesn’t mean she is dark either.  She embraces both worlds equally.  She is a Black Angel.  Let her out, you might be surprised at what you find.”

And with that he walked out the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think? I would really appreciate some feedback on this chapter just due to the struggle I went through writing. I want to know if you guys like the direction this story is going. I appreciate every comment that you make, good or bad. Thank you.


	11. The Monster Within

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is Chapter 11. I hope you enjoy it! Also I have created a tumblr account beauttifullife.tumblr.com and I plan on maybe posting some ideas for the story or updates of the story on their. So feel free to follow me :)

**_***_ **

_A cloaked figure knelt before the thrown.  His head was bowed._

_“The_ _Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world. A human world. They would wield its power...”_

_He pauses as he stood to face a horned shaped shadow that stood in the distance.  Revealing a scepter from beneath his cloak, a long golden handle, fitted with a blue gem that was encircled with a silver blade.  He held the scepter out to the shadowy figure._

_“But our ally knows its workings as they never will. He is ready to lead. And our force, our Chitauri, will follow.”_

_The sound of tens of thousands of skeletal monsters screamed out with a heated battle cry._

_The shadowing figure stepped forward firmly gripping the scepter._

_Loki stared down at the scepter an evil smirk forming on to his face._

_The cloaked figure then turned back to the throne, staring at shadowy armored figure whom sat on it._

_“The world will be his. The universe yours. And the humans, what can they do but burn?”_

**_***_ **

Maria was going insane.  That was the only explanation for how she felt at this moment. Something was wrong.  It was as if she was losing control of herself.  Something was stirring with inside her, something dark and twisted and no matter how much she tried to will it away it came back twice as strong.  She felt trapped in her own body, and it was because of this Maria couldn’t bring herself to leave her office.   She hasn’t left her office since that Phil left. 

She didn’t eat for the first day.  Phil must have noticed because he started bringing her food.  Whenever her computer informed her Phil was on the other side of the door she would go into her room and inform the computer to let Phil in but only after she was locked in her room.   Maria would watch on her monitor in her room as Phil walked into her room, if he noticed her absence he didn’t show it, he would walk to her desk and set her food down before leaving the room.

Phil most likely assumed that Maria was pushing everyone away like she always does when she felt exposed.  After he was released from the hospital in Detroit she refused to see him for 2 months.  Maria knew that she didn’t have the luxury of going AWOL for 2 month but this time everything was different.  This wasn’t her pushing everyone away to protect herself, but rather pushing everyone away to protect them. 

She has taken to monitoring the helicarrier video surveillance and the crew was talking about her noticeable absence.  She was surprised she had not heard from Fury yet.  The man has not been at her door once nor has he tried to contact her in any way.  She didn’t know if Fury felt guilty for pushing her too far or he just knew she needed space, either way she was grateful for his absence. 

 _“Maybe Phil talked to him?”_ thought Maria.

Maria knew that she was hiding from her problems and that keeping herself cooped up in her office everyday was not going to solve them.  But honestly, she felt unstable and every day it was getting worse. 

_“She is a Black Angel.  Let her out, you might be surprised at what you find.”_

Phil’s words echoed through her mind and as she felt her skin on her back begin to crawl.  Whatever was happening inside her reacted to Phil’s words as if it were gasoline on a flame.  But Maria knew whatever was going on was dangerous.  She couldn’t let it out.  She could hurt someone, she could hurt Natasha…  

Maria closed her eyes and fought the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes at the thought of Natasha.  Natasha had come to Maria’s door every night since she first locked herself in her room.  The first night Maria watched on the surveillance as Natasha knocked on her door with a smile on her face but after five minutes of standing outside the door with no response a frown marred her face as she realized Maria would not open it. 

The second day Natasha came to her door and did the same thing.  She knocked at the door, and this times stood outside Maria’s door for a good fifteen minutes and Maria could tell she was getting frustrated.   It was the same the third, and the fourth but on the fifth day Maria could tell Natasha was pissed. 

Maria watched on the screen as Natasha didn’t even knock instead choosing to rip the control panel off her office door.  Maria knew that her security system was the best on the ship, besides Fury’s, but she also knew Natasha could probably break it in ten minutes.  She quickly informed her computer to relay a message to Phil that if Agent Romanoff succeeded in breaking into her office she would hold him personally responsible.

Two minutes later Maria watch Phil appear outside her door stopping Natasha from breaking into her office.  They seemed to be arguing.  Maria didn’t activate the sound.  She honestly couldn’t handle hearing Natasha’s voice right now.  Maria watched as the usually cool and collected Natasha become enraged at whatever Phil was saying.  Natasha’s whole body was shaking and Maria had to look away from the screen as she could clearly see the pain that on Natasha’s face. 

BAM!

Maria jumped at the sound of something banging up against her metal door.  Maria stared at the door as it shook.  Maria looked to the screen to see Natasha kicking and punching her door ignoring Phil as he tried to get her to stop. 

Maria didn’t need to need to have the sound on the video surveillance to hear what Natasha’s was saying.  She could hear the woman yelling through the door.

“God damn it Hill!”

BAM!

“Open this fucking door right now!”

BAM!

“You are can’t hide in their forever!”

BAM!        

BAM!

BAM!

Marie watched Natasha repeatedly punch the door with her fist before Barton finally came to Phil’s aid and wrestled the woman from the door.  Natasha was able to give one last swift kick to the door as Barton pulled her away.

BAM!

“You are fucking coward Hill!  You hear me!”

The tears that Maria tried to hold back fell from her eyes at the sound of Natasha’s last comment, not because of the actual words but rather the sound of Natasha’s voice.  It was no longer angry, she was no longer pissed.  Maria heard the anguish in Natasha’s voice.  It was in that moment Maria realized that she had hurt Natasha far beyond anything the Red Room ever did.  She was breaking Natasha’s heart.  Maria didn’t think she would see Natasha again after that. 

It was day six now and Maria was sitting at her desk in a sports bra and sweatpants as she just finished going through all the information Fury had on the testing and experiments that was done to her under General Ross’s orders for the 8th time, trying to desperately find any clue to what was going on inside of her.  And once again she found nothing, there was nothing in the reports that gave her any idea what was going.  She was honestly thinking about throwing her monitor across the room when her computer informed her that Agent Romanoff was once again outside her door. 

Maria turned to the surveillance feed and sure enough, there was Natasha.  Maria frowned at the surveillance feed as she noticed both of Natasha’s hands were wrapped.  Maria watched as Natasha stared at the door for a few seconds before walking up to it and placing her body up against the door as her head came to rest against the door.

Maria could see Natasha’s lips moving and against her better judgement she approached her door.  Reaching a shaky hand out she touched the door where she knew Natasha was at.  As soon as her hand came into contact with the door her eyes closed as she used every ounce of will power she had not reach out and push the button to open the door.

“Maria…”

Maria flinched as she heard Natasha say her name, her voice broken. 

“I can feel you on the other side of the door Maria.  I know you are there.”

Maria set her head against the door, the cool metal sending shivers down her spine, as she sighed. 

No words were spoken again for some time.   

“Open the damn door Maria or I am going to break it down.  You know I can and will.”

Maria sighed as she heard the growl in Natasha’s voice.  She didn’t need Natasha hurting herself again. 

“I can’t be around you right now Natasha.”  Maria whispered it but she knew Natasha heard her.

“Maria…please…”

Maria shut her eyes and turned from the door placing her back to it as she fought back tears. 

“I am not safe.”

Maria was greeted with silence for a few moments before she heard Natasha speak.

“You won’t hurt me Maria.”

Maria sank down to the floor as she wrapped her arms around her knees. 

“I have no idea what I am capable of right now Natasha…”

Natasha must have sensed that Maria was now on the ground because Maria heard a body move up against the door and then down to the floor. 

“Yes well, you could say the same thing about me.  We all have our demons Maria…”

“Mine is different Natasha.  I can feel it crawling just below my skin.  I can feel it move inside of me.  It is so close to the edge.  I don’t know if I can keep it inside any longer.  I think I am going insane.  It is the only explanation.  This last attack...I think it pushed me over the edge.  I am sorry Natasha…I can’t let you in any in.  There is a darkness inside of me.  It is where my monster hides and I don’t think I am in control of it any longer…”

“Yes well here is a hell inside of me, let me in and your monster can live there…”

“I can’t,” chocked out Maria shaking her head.  “I can’t risk it.”

Maria heard Natasha sigh. 

“What if I keep my gun trained on you.  Could I see you then?”

Maria couldn’t help the chocked out laugh that escaped her lips.  Only Natasha would say something like that.

“Depends…could you pull the trigger?”

Natasha paused at her question before answering.

“I won’t kill you but I could stop you if that is what you are asking.”

Maria paused as she thought about this.  Natasha was a good shot and could certainly shoot her in every nonfatal spot on her body with ease. 

“Do you have your gun?” Maria regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth.  This was a horrible idea.

Maria heard Natasha give a dark chuckle at her question.

“Have you ever known me to not have a gun?”

Maria sighed at that.  That was very true.  Maria sighed as she thought about what they were really suggesting.  This was a stupid. 

“If we do this and you even see the slightest indication that I am going to hurt you I want you to leave.  And if I even take one step towards you I want you to go for my legs first.  It will slow me down.  Unload your whole clip into them if you have to, don’t stop until I am on the ground.  Do you hear me?”

“Maria that’s overkill…”

“Promise me you won’t stop shooting till I am on the ground Natasha.”

Natasha paused at her words but answered.

“I won’t stop until you are on the ground.”

“Understand Natasha that if you let me hurt you, when we both know you could have stopped me, I will not be able to live with myself…”

“I will do what I need to do Maria, just open the damn door!”

Maria sighed and counted to ten in her head before nodding to herself. 

“Get your gun ready.”

Maria got to her feet and shakily made her way to the other side of the room.  Before taking a deep breath and steadying herself.

“Computer open the door for Agent Romanoff.”

Maria closed her eyes at the sound of the door opening.  Her body stiffened as she heard Natasha enter the room slowly.

Maria counted her steps and knew Natasha was in the room fully now.

“Don’t come any closer Natasha,” said Maria still refusing to open her eyes. 

Maria heard Natasha pause.

“Are you going to stand in the corner and not look at me?”

Maria didn’t answer as she felt the monster stir inside her.  She clenched her teeth and willed back down but no matter how hard she fought it still stayed just at the surface, so close to freedom.

“Open your eyes Maria.”

Maria stiffened at Natasha’s words but nonetheless slowly opened her eyes.  She was instantly greeted with a very worried green eyes and the barrel of a gun.  Maria watched Natasha’s eyes widen at her and the grip on her gun tighten.

“What is it?” Maria asked.  She didn’t feel herself move towards Natasha or feel like attacking the woman.

“Your eyes Maria,” whispered Natasha as she stared at Maria with concern.  “Your eyes are glowing black.”

Maria felt her eyes widen at Natasha’s words. 

“What?”

“They are glowing.”

Panic seemed to overtake Maria as she stared at Natasha with wide eyes.  She knew something was wrong!  She knew this feeling inside her wasn’t her imagination playing tricks on her.

“Get out of here Natasha.”

Maria knew that Natasha heard her but the woman didn’t move.  She watched as Natasha seemed to be studying her closer, her eyes assessing Maria critically. 

“I know you heard me Natasha,” growled out Maria.  “Please listen to me, get out of here and get Fury.  Something is wrong.”

At least this time Natasha had the decency to react to her words as tilted her head just slightly at Maria’s order.  But the little relief that Maria felt when Natasha finally acknowledged her order was quickly washed away when she watched Natasha’s eyes soften when they stared at her.

“Natasha…” whispered Maria her eyes going wide as she watched the gun in Natasha’s hand slowly lower to the ground.  “Don’t you dare!  You promised!”

Natasha ignored her as she stepped forward and set her gun on Maria’s desk before continuing to slowly approach Maria.

Maria pushed herself back into the wall wishing it would somehow absorb her so she could avoid Natasha.  When Natasha got within 5 feet of her she felt it again on her back.  Something crawling beneath her skin and the closer Natasha go to her the more it moved, as if it was trying to break through her skin to get to Natasha.

“Please Natasha,” begged Maria holding out her to stop Natasha from getting any closer.

Natasha stopped just inches from her hand, her eyes going from Maria’s eyes to her hand that was being held out.

Maria followed Natasha’s line of sight to see her skin ripple from her shoulder as it slowly made it way down her arms.  It looked as if there was a wave of water underneath her skin as it moved down her arm towards Natasha.

Natasha stared down at her arm her eyes watching the way Maria’s skinned moved.

“How long has this been happening?”

Maria stared down at her skin, he eyes wide.

“I thought I was imagining it…”

“How long Maria?”

“It started four days ago.  But it was on my back, but I couldn’t see it.  I just thought I was going crazy...”

Natasha stepped around her arm to stand at Maria’s side as she looked down at the rippling skin that seemed to stop in place in the middle of Maria’s forearm.  Maria watched Natasha bring her hand up to hover over the rippling skin.

“Don’t,” bit out Maria stopping Natasha’s hand from making contact with her skin.

Natasha looked up and gave Maria a piercing look, the look in her eyes letting Maria know that no matter what Maria said, Natasha was going to do what she wanted.  Natasha stared back down at Maria’s arm, her hand lingering just centimeters over her skin. Natasha watched as whatever was under Maria’s skin seemed to react more to her hand being so close.  Making sure to not touch Maria’s skin Natasha slowly moved her hand up Maria’s arm.

They watched as a dark red substance, almost black seeped from Maria’s skin almost like liquid smoke.  It moved up to Natasha’s hand tingling the palm of her hand.  It felt cold, borderline freezing as it moved against her palm.  She moved her hand up and down Maria’s arm watching the thing under Maria’s skin follow her movement.

“Well this is certainly interesting.”

Maria didn’t comment on her assessment.  This wasn’t interesting.  This was terrifying. 

“Keep your arm right there.  Don’t move.”

Natasha stepped away from Maria’s arm and the unknown substance retreated back into her pores.  Natasha moved back to Maria’s desk and grabbed her gun.  She kept the gun lowered but approached Maria again.  Natasha took of her same stance and moved her free hand over the rippling skin, the dark substance started seeping from Maria’s skin instantly.  Natasha’s other that was firmly gripping her gun now lifted it and to point it directly into Maria’s leg.

“Natasha…don’t…”

Natasha brought her eyes up from Maria’s arm to stare into Maria’s black eyes. 

“I don’t know what is going on within out right now but I don’t think it will hurt me,” and before Maria could even react Natasha quickly brought her hand down onto Maria’s arm, directly on top of the substance. 

Maria flinched and closed her eyes as she felt Natasha’s hand come down on her arm.  She waited from the panic.  She waited for feeling of dread.  She waited for the feeling of not being in control and lashing out at Natasha.

But it never came.

Instead she felt utterly calm— as if the world stood still and in that moment nothing could touch her as long as Natasha kept her hand there.  The darkness was still there but it seemed to be at peace.  It didn’t feel wrong, it didn’t feel tainted…it felt safe, warm, inviting and for the first time Maria couldn’t bring herself to fight it any longer.  Instead, with the comforting hand of Natasha on her arm, she embraced whatever was inside of her and let it take hold. 

Natasha waited.  She waited and waited—for seconds, minutes, hours, she waited.  She waited through the silence, through the absence of Maria words.  Maria seemed to breathing but Natasha wasn’t sure she was breathing herself.    

Finally, Maria’s eyes opened and Natasha shivered.  Bright blue eyes pierced into Natasha’s very soul and finally Natasha could breathe.

“Hey stranger,” whispered Natasha         

***

“Director Fury, Commander Hill asked me to alert you that the Commander and Agent Romanoff are leaving the helicarrier for the next 24 hours.”

Fury’s eyes shot open at the comment as he quickly rotated in his chair to look out his large window. 

“Have they left?”

“Yes sir.”                     

Fury sighed as he leaned back in the chair.  It made Fury extremely nervous that both Natasha and Hill were off the helicarrier without knowing their whereabouts.  Fury was pulled out of his thoughts at his computer voice again.

“Director Fury, I am also noting the absence of Agent Coulson, Agent Barton, Captain Rogers and Thor.”

“What!!”

***

Tony Stark was having a good day.  Here he was in the Atlantic Ocean in his Ironman suit cutting into the pipeline transport with his laser.  Reaching behind him he placed his first Stark Energy Reactor to the pipeline.  He watched as the Stark Energy Reactor began to grow blue letting Tony know that it was working just as he designed.  Nodding, he turned on his booster as he begins his journey back to Stark Tower.

“You are good from this end Pepper.”

“You disconnected the transition lines?  Are we off the grid?”

Tony smiled as Pepper appeared on his HUD monitor.  Pepper looked quite beautiful today, not that she didn’t every day in Tony’s opinion.

“Stark Tower is about to become a beacon of self-sustaining clean energy.”  Tony really tried to keep the smugness out of his voice but it was unavoidable, he really did feel quite proud of himself for this accomplishment. 

“Wow.  So maybe our reactor takes over it and it actually works?”

“I assume.  Light her up.”

Tony held his breath as he flew towards Stark Tower watching.  He let out a breath of relief as Stark Tower’s began to light up.  He went silent for a few moments enjoying the way his building looked marveling at how beautiful clean energy looked on Stark Tower. 

“How does it look?”

Tony smiled at Pepper’s question.  He knew he could be honest and tell her what a great feat that he and Pepper accomplished but instead deciding to give her a typical “stark comment.”

“Like Christmas, but with more…me.”

Tony watched Pepper roll her eyes at his comment but smile nonetheless.

“We have to go wider on the public awareness campaign.  You need to some press.  I can do more tomorrow.  I’m working on the zoning for the next billboards…”

It was Tony’s turn to roll his eyes at Peppers comments.  Did this woman ever stop working?

“Pepper, you’re killing me.  Remember?  Enjoy the moment.”

Tony watched Pepper stop her planning as smirk began to form on her face.  Tony knew that look all too well and he couldn’t help the bounce of his adams apple as he swallowed.

“Then get in here and I will.”

Tony couldn’t stop the smile from forming on his face as he landed on Stark Tower.  Walking forward his mind already started forgetting the Stark Energy Reactor and instead thoughts of Pepper began to fill his mind.  Tony was in a daze and didn’t even realize that is suit was almost off before Jarvis startled him back to reality.

“Sir, Agent Romanoff of SHIELD is on the line.”

Tony scoffed at Jarvis’s comment.  Tony still had a sore sport for not realizing he had a undercover SHIELD in Stark Industries, especially one that worked so close with him.  It sure was an ego crusher.

“I’m not in.  I am actually out.”

“Sir, I’m afraid she insisting.”

Tony rolled his eyes.  If it was important Fury would have sent Coulson or hell Fury himself as been known to show up on his door step in dire circumstances, Romanoff could wait he thought as his eyes came to rest on Pepper and smiled, he had to celebrate with his beautiful girlfriend. 

“Close the line Jarvis.  I got a date.”  

Tony walked into the penthouse and smiled as he Pepper stared up at him from the monitors, no doubt monitoring the reactor. 

She gave him a heart stopping smile, “levels are holding steady…I think.”

Tony couldn’t help but smirk at her comment.  “Well of course they are, I was directly involved.  Which brings be to my next question, how does it feel to be a genius?”

Pepper laughed at his comment as she stood up to meet him half way.

“Well, I really wouldn’t know now, would I?”

Tony smiled as he reached out and wrapped his hands around her hips pulling her into him. 

“What do you mean?  All of this came from you?”

Pepper ran her hands over Tony’s chest and shoulders and she smiled at him.

“No.  All this came from that,” as she tapped on the arch reactor in Tony’s chest.

Tony smiled as he tightened his grip around Peppers waist and smirked at her.

“Give yourself some credit, please.  Stark Tower is your baby,” he paused as he leaned down and placed a small kiss to her lips before pulling back and giving her a playful smirk.   “Give yourself…twelve percent credit,” he teased.

Pepper pulled back from Tony leveling him with an outrageous look.

“Twelve percent?”

Tony smirked as he ran his hands down her back loving the fire in her eyes.

“An argument can be made for fifteen.”

Pepper scoffed at Tony knowing the man was joking but still pulling back from his arms and walking over to the bar and pouring two glasses of wine. 

“Twelve percent?  For my baby?” she asked playfully as she offered him a glass.

Tony chuckled he grabbed the glass taking a large gulp sighing at the taste.  Tony sat on the couch as he stared up at her smiling.

“Well, I did do all the heavy lifting.  Literally, I lifted the heavy things.  And sorry, but the security snafu?  That was you.”

Pepper rolled her eyes but walked towards him drinking her wine before depositing herself in his lap.

“Oh…really?” She smiled down at Tony loving the way he tensed under her as he quickly began to understand where this was going.

“My private elevator…”

Pepper turned his lap straddling him as she leaned in and whispered, “you mean ‘our’ elevator?”

Tony sighed setting his glass of wine on the end table before grabbing Peppers hips.  “It was teeming with sweaty workmen,” he sighed before reaching up and cupping Pepper’s face loving the way she leaned into his touch and closed her eyes.  “I’m going to pay for that comment about percentages in some subtle way later, aren’t I?”

Pepper opened her eyes at Tony’s comment as she smiled down at him with a dangerous smile.  “I’m not going to be that subtle,” she said breathlessly as she rolled her hip in his lap smirking at the groan that escaped his lips at her movement.

Tony swallowed hard as his hands began to wander.  “I’ll tell you what.  Next building’s gonna say ‘Potts’ on the tower.”

“On the lease,” teased Pepper as she rolled her hips again and Tony groaned again. This woman was trying to kill him that plan and simple. 

Tony groaned again.  “Call your mom, can you bunk over?”

Pepper rolled her eyes but smiled at him before leaning down.  Her lips just millimeters away from his.

“Sir, the telephone.”

Tony groaned as he stared down at the end table where Romanoff’s face was staring up at him. 

“I’m afraid my protocols are being overwritten.”

Tony reached over and angrily snatched the phone before staring at Romanoff and schooled his features, “you have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark.  Please leave a message.”

“This is urgent Stark,” said Natasha giving him a look that pretty much let him know she was not playing.

But Tony wasn’t having it.  Nothing was coming in between him and the beautiful woman in his lap.

“Then leave it urgently,” he said before throwing his phone down on the couch and before turning his attention back to Pepper.  Looking up at the not impressed look she was giving him Tony smiled as he fully intended to pick up right where they left off.  Reaching up behind Pepper’s neck he gently pulled her in.

The sound of the elevator doors opening could be heard just as Pepper’s lips grazed his.  Tony pulled back as he watched Natasha and Commander Hill walk into the room both of them pausing a few steps into the penthouse at the compromising position they found in front of them.

“Security breach,” said Tony glaring at both of them before looking up at Pepper noticing the slight blush that ran up her neck at being caught like this.

Pepper sighed before she started to untangle herself from Tony’s lap much to his disappointment.  “That’s on you,” she reminded him after all, it was his security system that he designed.

“Stark,” nodded Natasha as she couldn’t fight the smirk from forming on her face.  She after all like the thought of giving Stark blue-balls from their interruption.

“Natasha,” smiled Pepper as she stepped forward with a bright smile and giving Natasha a hug.

“Natasha?” asked Tony getting up from the couch eyeing a Pepper and Natasha hugging with wide eyes. “Uh, her first name is Agent.”

Pepper pulled back from Natasha and nodded to Maria with a welcoming smile completely ignoring Tony.  “Come on in, we’re celebrating.”

“Which is why they can’t stay,” whined Tony stepping forward as he threw Natasha a glare.

That is when Maria finally stepped forward and spoke. “I need you to look this over.” Maria tried to keep the shakiness out of her voice as she offered him a file.

Tony stopped glaring at Natasha as he turned to Maria, his head tilting slightly as he took in her disheveled appearance and picking up on the clear nervousness in her voice.  

Pepper looked between the two of them before stepping forward.  “Tony doesn’t like being handed things…” she started but stopped when her eyes went wide at the sight of Tony stepping forward and grabbing the file from Maria.

There was a silence throughout the room as Tony and Maria continued to have a staring match.  Concern was evident on his face and Maria avoided his look. 

“Thank you,” whispered Maria.

Tony cleared his throat before looking down at the file. 

“Official consulting hours are between eight and five every other Thursday.”

“This isn’t a consultation,” said Natasha nodding towards the file. 

Tony stared at Natasha for a few seconds before nodding and opening the file before turning and walking towards his desk.

“Is this about The Avengers?” asked Pepper but quickly stopped at the surprised look Natasha gave her and then stammering out, “which I…I know nothing about.”

Tony looked over and gave Natasha and Maria a sheepish look before shrugging as if telling his girlfriend SHIELD clearance level 8 information wasn’t that big of a deal before turning back to his desk.

“The Avenger Initiative is on the back burner right now, nothing was decided.  I believe there is still a lot more details that need to be hashed out, especially the leadership of said Initiative,” said Tony over shoulder typing quickly on the tablet. 

Pepper gave another nervous smile to Maria and Natasha, “I didn’t know that either…” before walking over to Tony.

Tony stopped typing before turning to Pepper, Natasha and Maria, “yeah well I am surprised Fury even wants me on that thing anyways.  Thanks to Agent Romanoff’s raving report that is,” he paused to give Natasha a glare.

 “What did you say about me again?  Yes, I remember, I’m volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others?”

Pepper stepped was finally at his side and placed a calming hand on his shoulder before giving Natasha and Maria a playful smile, “that I did know,” she teased as she squeezed Tony’s shoulder.  

“This isn’t about personality profiles anymore Stark,” sighed Natasha as she gave Maria a concerning glance.  “This isn’t about the Avengers.  This is something else entirely.”

Tony scoffed, “whatever,” he threw at Natasha before reaching out and grabbing Pepper’s waist and gently turning her away from Natasha and Maria so that their back were to their uninvited guests as they face towards the desk. 

Tony typed furiously on the screen as he whispered softly to Pepper.

“You know, I thought we were having a moment.”

“I was having twelve percent of a moment,” teased Pepper enjoying the way Tony’s hand seemed to pause at her words as he looked up from the tablet.  Pepper erased her smile as she looked back at Natasha and Maria.  They both look like they haven’t slept in days.  Something was wrong.  Pepper turned back to Tony and spoke, “Natasha and the Commander look shaken, something isn’t right.”

Tony nodded agreeing with her but still spoke, “why is she Natasha?”

Pepper rolled her eyes at his comment and decided to ignore his question and pose one of own.

“What is all of this?”

Tony sighed, “this is, uh…” he typed on the screen a few more times before bringing his hands out on the tablet expanding documents and video’s on to an holographic screen floating in front of them.  “This…” the documents showed multiple classified files on Commander Hill and in the top right corner was a video of the Commander strapped to a gurney screaming s men and woman were injecting her with needles. 

Both Tony and Pepper’s eyes shot wide at the information and at the sounds echoing from them the screen.  Tony quickly reached over and muted the screen after just seconds of hearing the Commanders screams.  They both were breathing deeply as they stared at the disturbing information before them.

Pepper looked back to see Natasha’s hard green eyes.  The woman looked furious as she stared at the screen over their shoulders.  Pepper eyes went from Natasha to the Commander’s. 

Pepper frowned as the Commander had moved to across the room and now had her back to them as she stared out at the view of New York City.  Pepper felt her heart clench painfully as she found no trace of the proud woman she met at the Stark Expo just a few months ago.  That woman seemed to be nowhere in sight as she took in the broken woman gazing out into the night.  Pepper brought her eyes back to the screen to give the documents in front of her one more scan before sighing. Broken was understandable, these files would haunt Pepper for the rest of her life, and she was just reading them, let alone experiencing them.

“I’m going to take the jet to D.C. tonight.”

Her voice seemed to startle Tony next to her as he finally dragged his eyes away from the screen to stare at Pepper.

“Tomorrow,” there was a slight pleading in his voice.

Pepper shook her head and smiled sadly before indicating to the screen.  “You’ve got homework.  You’ve got a lot of homework.”

Tony sighed as he stared at the documents for a few seconds before turning back to her. “Well, what if I didn’t?”

“You mean if you finished?” asked Pepper and she smiled at his nod.  “Well…” Pepper leaned forwards and as her lips grazed Tony’s ear.  “Find the bastard who did this and help Natasha and Maria.  Do that and I promise you I will make it worth your while.”

Tony nodded and her words and smiled.  “Square deal.  It’s the last date,” before leaning forward and kissing him. 

Pepper smiled into the kiss before pulling back slightly.  Bringing her hand up as she played with the hairs at the back of his hair.   “Behave,” she kissed.  “Work hard,” she kissed.  “And be nice to Natasha,” she smirked before kissing him one last time smiling as Tony frowned into her kiss.  Pepper pulled back and gave Tony a pointed look before stepping away and walking towards the elevator.

“Natasha,” nodded Pepper giving the woman a smile.

“Pepper,” Natasha gave Pepper a small sad smile as Pepper passed by her and into the elevator. 

Tony watched her the doors close on Pepper before turning back the screen and frowning.  He flipped through the files his frown deepening at every document and video he saw.

Fifteen minutes later he sighed before turning around.  Leaning against his desk he made eye contact with Natasha.

“Well…all of this is….horrible.”

Natasha nodded as she stepped forward to stand next to him. 

“Yes it is.”

The two sat in silence for a few seconds as they stared over at Maria with concern. 

“What do you need me to do Romanoff?” said Tony softly not taking his eyes off Maria.

Natasha tensed at his words but turned towards the screen.  Reaching forward she touched a holographic file and opened it.  She flicked through a few files before finding the one she was looking forward and expanded it. 

“We need you to look at this.”

Tony who finally looked away from Maria turned to see the document on the screen.  Giving the document his full attention he read it over.  He gasped and then read it over again not believing what he was reading.

“Is this what I think it is?”

Tony reached forward and pulled the double helix from the screen and examined it in his hand turning it over studying it from every angle.

“It’s my DNA.”

Both Tony and Natasha looked up from the double helix in his hand to see Maria staring at them with a blank unreadable mask.

Tony looked from Maria to the DNA in his hand then back to Maria.

“Well this is clearly a mutation.  This black part,” he paused to reach forward and completely separate the  mutation form the normal part of her DNA.  Grabbing the mutation he expanded it further as it was now quite large.  Tony stepped forward and studied it. 

The black mutation seemed to be moving. It was as if it was alive.

“I have never anything like this before,” Tony was completely dumbfounded as he stared at the unknown substance.  Tony studied the mutation silently for 5 minutes and he still had no idea what he was staring at. 

He opened his mouth to pose a question to Natasha but the dinging of the elevator interrupted him.  Turning to the elevator he watched the door open expecting to see Pepper but instead his mouth dropped in surprise at the sight of Coulson, Barton, Rogers and Thor stepping out of the elevator.

Tony shut his mouth and quickly and then rolled his eyes.

“Security breach.  Jarvis, remind me to design a new security system.  This is just getting embarrassing.”

Natasha moved from the table to meet the men as they came to stand by Tony.

“Natasha we got your message.  What’s going on?” asked Barton staring at her with concern.

“Thank you for coming,” nodded Natasha at the men.  “We need your help.”

“Is this about the Avenger’s Initiative?” asked Rogers staring around at the people in the room, the same select people chosen for the Avengers Initiative.

“No,” said Natasha shaking her head.  “We need your help with this.”

Natasha indicated to the large holographic black mutation in front of them.

The men in the room stared at the image in confusion.  Everyone took their time studying the black blob that seemed to be moving.

“I am confused.  What am I looking at?” asked Barton taking his eyes off the image to stare at Natasha in confusion.

“It’s my monster.”

Everyone in the room but Tony and Natasha jumped at the words as they turned in the direction of the voice to see Commander Hill still staring out the window.  Everyone watched with baited breath as the Commander continued to stare out the window before sighing and turning towards them with her eyes closed. 

Everyone watched with baited breath as she reached a shaky hand to remove her glasses.  The Commander took a deep breath before turning to them, opening her eyes.

“It’s my monster,” repeated Maria with black glowing eyes.

She ignored the way the men in the room’s eyes widened at her appearance.

“I need your help in controlling it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you think? How many of you want to kill Ross with your bare hands? lol I appreciate every comment you guys make whether good or bad. I also love hearing your ideas or suggestions for this story :)


	12. The Darkness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, thank you to all the readers here who conintue to leave comments on this story. I apprechate every one of them and I love hearing what you think about the story. Please continue to comment and if you haven't yet go ahead and try. As questions. Make suggestions. Rant. Comment what you like and I promise you that I will respond :)
> 
> Second, if you have a tumblr you can follow me on at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beauttifullife I frequently post updates about the story and even posted a small preview a few days ago for chapter 12. Please follow me there if you would like. :)
> 
> Okay, without here is the long awaited Chapter 12! I am sorry it took me so long but it is a whopping 9,000+ words. I thought about breaking it up into 2 chapters but I liked the way it flowed too much. I hope you enjoy it!

“What do you mean by calling it a ‘monster’?” asked Rogers looking from Maria to the mutation then back to Maria.

“I don’t know what it is so I call it my monster,” said Maria a shakiness evident in her voice as she stared at the mutation.  “I don’t what is happening but I woke up six days ago and it was there.”

“Symptoms?” asked Stark pulling out his phone and making the action of walking towards her only to be stopped by Natasha with a firm grip to his arm.

“What the hell Romanoff?” grumbled Stark trying to shaking off her grip.

Natasha glared at him but spoke quickly when she noticed Stark was going to walk towards Maria again.

“One of the symptoms is violence.  Maria described as an overwhelming urge to rip someone’s throat out.”

Stark reeled at her words as he looked at Maria with wide eyes.

“Really?”

Maria looked away from everyone securitizing gazes, shame evident on her face but she did nod her head. 

“I can’t describe it.  It is unsettling.  I have never enjoyed taking a life but have always done what is necessary.  But this feeling…when I was in my office my hand kept itching towards my gun and the thought of killing…it made “it” happy.”

The silence in the room was defining as the men stared at Maria with wide eyes.  Maria could see that her words created a very unsettling atmosphere.

“That is why we wanted Thor and Roger’s here,” said Natasha nodding to the two men. 

“They are the only people that could get control of her if she became unstable.  Maria admitted to me on the way here that it is getting worse…the urges.”

Thor and Steve tensed at her words as they eyes Maria as if she were a ticking time bomb. 

Maria glared at them at their looks.

“I am good, right now.  Just keep a distance, it seems to get worse when I get closer to people, especially enhanced beings.  “It’s almost like it recognizes it is at a disadvantage and it wants to defend itself…”

“So you believe it is alive…whatever it is?” asked Coulson stepping forward but not too close.

Maria shrugged.  “I don’t know.  The best way I can describe it is as multiple personality disorder.  One second I feel like myself and the next second another personality…the monster…it is fighting to take control.”

Stark was typing on his tablet logging all of Maria’s comments as he circled her from a distance assessing her.  He seemed to do this for a couple minutes before he stopped and his eyes shot wide.  He looked from Natasha to Maria and then back to Natasha.

“You two rode the elevator together,” said Stark pointing at them.  “Do you have the urges around Romanoff?”

Instead of answering Stark’s question Natasha stepped forward and entered Maria’s personal space.  Ignoring the men’s questioning glances Natasha stepped up to Maria and smiled ignoring the narrowing eyes of Maria.  Natasha smiled as she slowly reached up letting Maria’s eyes follow her hand before it moved past her head to come to a rest on the back of Maria’s head.  As soon as Natasha’s hand came in contact with Maria’s head she felt Maria flinch beneath her touch.

Natasha didn’t pull away though, instead she slowly began to work fingertip through Maria’s hair.  It was instantaneous, Maria’s eyes instantly fell shut and her body relaxed at the feeling of Natasha’s touch. 

The men watched this for a few moments unsure of what was happening before Natasha stepped back.  It took a couple seconds but Maria eyes shot open at the lack of Natasha’s touch.

“Well that is interesting,” said Stark taking a tentative step forward but still keeping a good distance between himself and Maria.  He watched as Maria brought her gaze from Natasha then to him hearing his comment.  Stark eyes went wide as Maria’s blue eyes turned on him. 

“Your eyes go back to normal at Romanoff’s touch?” he asked pulling out his phone and doing a quick scan of Maria’s body. 

“Yes,” said Natasha moving to stand next to him.  “But it doesn’t last long.”

Stark brought his eyes from his phone and sure enough her eyes were back to black. 

“Very interesting,” mumbled Stark as he looked away from Maria and walked over to his desk uploading the new data into Maria’s file.

Everyone watched Stark type on his computer for a few minutes before turning to the group. 

“Okay so I have Jarvis running facial recognition on the video’s in the file.  With any luck we might be able to find out who did this to you.  I don’t think we should run any tests on you until we really know what we are dealing with.  I am hoping Jarvis will be able identify the medical staff in this video and we could perhaps pay them a little visit.  Until then I think we should all start coming through this file…”

“I have that file engraved into my brain…nothing is there,” interrupted Maria.

“Yes well, a fresh pair of eyes can’t hurt.  We have nothing better to do until Jarvis can finish his scan anyways,” said Stark reaching into his desk and pulling out a stack of Stark Industries tablets before carrying them over to a large table and setting them on it. 

Stark took a seat at the table and pushed his tablet a few times before bringing the file up to a holographic picture in the middle of the table.  He taped the file a few more times and then looked up at the people in the room. 

“Well are you going to help or am I the only one going to the work around here?”

*******

_One hour later_

“I need a back story.  I know there is more to what is going on right now than is in these files,” sighed Stark pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.  Even with the help of Jarvis he couldn’t figure out what this mutation was.  He and the rest of the members of the Avengers Initiative were sitting around the table, each person individually going through the files looking for anything that could possible even hint to what was going on.  They had been at it for an hour now with no luck.

“General Ross destroyed everything.  This is all there is.  I have been searching for this information for almost 2 years and this is everything I could find.  Even Fury checked, this is everything there is,” said Coulson looking up from his tablet before turning towards Maria who farthest from everyone at the end of the table.  Coulson frowned as she noticed Maria wasn’t looking at the files instead staring off into space. 

He cleared his throat getting her attention before speaking again.  “The video’s on here.  These are new.  I did not get these nor did Fury.  Where did they come from?”

Coulson shifted in his seat nervously as he watched Maria’s eyes turn darker, he didn’t think that was even possible but he quickly found it was as she leveled him with a glance.

“They were in my personals when you found me.  I don’t remember how I got them.”  Maria paused as she turned away from the group to stare out the window again.  “So I kept them…I never watched them…but I knew I eventually I would need them, for what exactly I didn’t know.”

Coulson leaned back in his chair and stared at Maria for a few seconds before staring back down at his tablet.  Everyone found out rather quickly that they needed to silence the video’s on their Stark issued tablets if they were going to get any work done.  The screams that echoed from every video made everyone in the flinch and quickly silence the video. 

Coulson stared down at his tablet for a few seconds before bringing his eyes back up to Maria.  He took a steadying breath, preparing himself to ask a question that he promised he would never ask her.

 “Maria I have never asked this and you know I never would if it wasn’t absolutely vital but I believe we have now reached that point,” said Coulson pausing slightly gathering the courage he needed to ask what the needed to know.

“We need to know what happened.  In order to understand what is going on we need you to tell us what happened to you at the black site.”

Maria looked away from Phil as soon as he started his speech.  She knew what he was going to ask as soon as he started.  Staring out into the darkness of the night she stiffened as he finally posed his question.  She didn’t have to stare around the table to see that everyone was staring at her with hesitant glances.  She would have too in their shoes.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see, even from the small information in front of them that Phil was asking her to jump back into her nightmare. 

She must have been sitting in silence for some time because she heard Phil speak again. 

“Maria…”

“Everything I remember is in pieces,” she interrupted him but still refused to turn her chair.  If she was going to tell them what she remembered then she sure as hell wasn’t going to watch their reactions to her words.  “I was delirious most of the time.  The pain…it was unimaginable.  I don’t think I was capable of a coherent thought for the first 2 months I was there, all I remember is the pain.”

Maria closed her eyes and for the first time in a very long time she tried to remember what had happened to her.

“I remember a white walls and bright lights.  It was cold and the smell was distinct.  I remember when I hurt Phil after a flash back and went with him to the hospital.  As soon as I walked in the smell of anesthetics made me vomit instantly.  I can’t be around that smell without vomiting and remembering…”

Maria stomach lurched at just the memory of the smell and she gripped her chair tightly the sound of the metal creaking under her powerful grip was heard by everyone.  It took a few moments but Maria was able to steady herself as she took a few deep breaths before continuing.  She removed her grip form the chair and ignored imprint of her fingers on the metal.  

“I remember bits and pieces of my team.  They kept calling out for me…and their screams…and then…” Maria paused blinking back tears as fought to control her emotions, “and then one day I didn’t hear their screams anymore.  They were gone.”

Maria reached up and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration and when she spoke again there was a growl to her voice.

“I remember waking up and Ross standing over me.  He was smiling.  I remember him telling me that my mission had gone wrong and that my team died in an explosion, I was the only survivor…”

Maria paused as she struggled to remember the words she fought so hard to erase form her mind. 

“He told me I that I was exposed to high levels of gamma radiation and it had made me stronger.”

“For about a month nurses and doctors kept taking blood and running tests on my strength and endurance.  Ross was always there watching them and he kept telling me that they were trying to understand what happened to me but I knew something was wrong.  Ross…” she hissed his name.  “I knew the bastard was up to something.”

“One day when the doctors and nurses were taking blood and I told him I wanted to go home.  I needed to see my team’s families.  I needed to see my father.” 

Maria scoffed the memory remembering how naïve she was to think that Ross would just let her go that easily.

“He told me I could never go home.  My team’s families were told they were killed in combat and so was my father.  Ross made it known that I wasn’t going anywhere.  I tried to leave on my own but they strapped me to the bed after that.  They had to bring in a titanium bed because I kept breaking the bars off the other beds trying to get out.”

Maria finally turned to see everyone listening her every word.  She made eye contact with everyone before speaking again.

“Then one day everything changed.  He let me out of my straps and a tactical team escorted me to a room.  There was a file on the table and it was a mission op.  It showed a home in Afghanistan where Ross believed a high ranking Taliban member lived with his family.  He wanted me to kill them all.  There were seven of them.  The man, his wife and 5 children,”

Maria paused and a dark smile formed on her lips as she remembered this particular memory.

“Of course, I told him to go fuck himself.”

Maria sighed, the smile leaving her lips as soon as she remembered what happened after that.

“Naturally he wasn’t happy.  So I was beaten and tortured every day until I agreed to do his bidding.”

Maria leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes refusing to see the reactions on their faces at this part she remembered.

“I don’t remember the exact details.  They beat me a lot.  I remember one time one of the men got a little overzealous and broke my jaw.  Ross was pissed about that.  I wasn’t supposed to have any permanent damage.”

Maria shivered at the thought of the next form of torture.

“I remember the sound of the electrical current starting up before touching my body.  I blacked out a lot when they electrocuted me but there was always had a doctor on staff making sure that they didn’t completely fry my brain.”

“I didn’t budge though,” Maria smiled at the memory.  “Ross was getting frustrated and it just fueled me further to never give in.”

Maria knew she had to tell them the next part.  She didn’t want to but it had to be said.  They needed to know how much a monster he really was.

“Ross knew I was a proud woman.  He wanted to break me not only physically but mentally as well so naturally he granted the men permission to use me as they wanted...”

The table creaked and Maria looked over to see every man in the room had a death grip on the table at her newest revelation.  Thor’s and Roger’s parts of the table were starting to crack from the pressure of their grips.   Maria couldn’t bring herself to look at Natasha.  She knew that if she did she wouldn’t be able to continue.

“I don’t remember a lot of that particular form of torture, which I am grateful for.  I believe they did succeed in breaking me to that extent. I remember smells.  Sometimes I remember pain.  I only remember a couple faces. Ross being one of them…”

 “It went on for days I think but I still refused him.  Then one day it all stopped,” Maria paused at this, “and of course I took it as victory.  When Ross and his men came in and got me I wanted to tell them they would not break me.  That they wouldn’t win but I remember my vocal cords were raw, no doubt from the screaming, so I did the next best thing, I spit in his face.”

Maria smirked.

“That made me happy.”

Maria shook her head as if she trying to get her mind back on track. 

“I remember thinking I had finally one upped him but he simply just wiped away the spit and then smiled.”

She shivered at the memory. 

“That is when I knew that whatever was next was going be horrible.”

“The security team dragged me down a hallway.  Ross was talking to me.  He was smiling telling me that he came across some intel from Iran about a new form of torture.  He seemed excited about it.  He smiled when he told me that he was going to break me and he wouldn’t even put a hand on me.”

Maria closed her eye at the memory and she felt herself shake. 

“I remember Ross stopped outside this large door.  They stripped me and put me in white pants and a white shirt before throwing me into a room and shutting the door.  I remember the silence more than anything.  You would think after weeks of hearing nothing but my own screams I would welcome the silence but no,” said Maria shaking her head, “this was different.  There was nothing.  No sound at all.  And the room itself it was completely white…blindingly white.  I couldn’t tell the difference between the walls the floor, and the ceiling.”

Natasha, Barton and Phil all stiffened at her words.  Maria knew that they were beginning to understand what Ross’s new form of torture was. 

Steve noticed the noticeable shift in the three Agents as they stared at Maria with wide unbelieving eyes. 

“What is it?” asked Steve.

There was a silence around the room before Barton finally spoke.

“It’s called “white torture.”  It got on SHIELD’s radar in 2004 after an Amnesty International report showed documented evidence of “white to torture” on Amir Abbas Fakhravar in Iran.” Barton paused as he gathered his rapidly escalating temper at the thought of Hill having to endure this form of torture.  “A person is thrown into a room that is completely white.  They are clothed in white and everything they get is white, even their food which is white itself and comes on a white plate.  They are forced to keep silent.   It is sensory deprivation and isolation.  It is a form of psychological torture. Essentially when people are exposed to the white room for extended periods of time they start losing their personal identity, hallucinate and eventually go mad.”

The silence in the room was defining and Maria had to stop herself from visibly flinching at Barton’s very accurate description of White Torture.

Maria found her voice even though she wished didn’t.  “I don’t remember a lot of the white room.  The first few days there I thought it was nice, it was quiet and there was no pain but then after a week I remember wishing someone would beat me.  I needed to see someone.  I needed to hear something…anything even it was the sound of my own screams…”

Maria voice trailed off as she fought the memories of the white room and the feeling of helplessness.  “I think I was in there for thirteen days before I started going crazy.  After day thirteen everything is a blur.  I couldn’t tell you if my memories I have of the white room or anything after that are real or if it was a figment of imagination.”

“I was literally lost my mind.”

Maria went silent for a few seconds before nodding to Coulson. 

“I was not mentally stable after that.  The last memory I have of the black site was on day thirteen in the white room and then waking up in an apartment in New York with Phil sitting in a chair watching over me.  Phil told me he eventually found me in a mental health ward.  I don’t know how long I was at the black site after the white room and I don’t know how long I was on the streets before being placed in a mental health facility.”

Coulson grimaced slightly as the memory of finding a deranged Maria Hill shackled to the bed at the mental health facility in San Antonio.  He looked around to see everyone including Maria looking at him silently letting him know that it was his turn to take a stroll down memory lane. 

“After the military informed me of my brother’s death and the mystery around it I took it upon myself to do my own digging.  Even with SHIELD’s intel and resources it took me six months to find the black site.  By the time I got there it was completely abandoned.  The building itself looked like a war zone.  Bullet holes, explosions, and dried blood on the walls…it was unsettling.  All the files and computers at the site were fried but I was able to find this…” Coulson paused as typed on his tablet to bring up a single document as he brought it up on a large screen for everyone to see.

“It is a report sent from General Ross to an unknown account.  I tried to find out where it went to but the account had a very large firewall and encryptions attached to it.  Not even SHIELD’s best technicians could break through it.  The report says that the “female test subject 152 had escaped from the black site and that Ross had his people searching every city looking for her.”

Coulson looked away from the report and back up to everyone. 

“I knew that my brother and his team were at this black site and I also knew that the only female on his team was his Captain.” Coulson paused in his story to smile slightly. 

“Whenever Matt was home he always made it known how much he respected his Captain and he frequently went on tirades about how the team had to hide their Captain’s gender in order to protect the team.  Matt…” Coulson’s voice broke a little and he made sure to avoid Maria’s gaze when he spoke knowing that what he was about to say would affect Maria greatly, “he always said that Maria Hill made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible.  She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.  She was the true Black Angel…”

The sound a chair being pushed back from the table interrupted him and they all watched as Maria stood up from the table and walked to the bathroom.  The door slammed behind her with enough force to echo throughout the room.

“Did you really need to say that?” hissed Natasha giving Coulson a glare.

Being on the receiving end of the Black Widow’s glare made most men wither but not Coulson, he squared his shoulders at the woman and nodded at her question before speaking with a steady tone. 

“Yes I did.  I don’t know what is going on within her right now but I do know whatever it is scaring her.  I have heard stories, I have read her file, I have seen her in action, I have even seen her even at her lowest moments and she has never broke.  There are many words to describe Maria Hill but weak is not one of them and I refuse to stand by and watch this thing beat her.” Coulson spat the words flinging his hand to the holographic image of the mutation that still floated in the middle of the table.

“I refuse to stand by idly and watch the courageous, strong and proud woman that I have come to respect turn into the monster Ross and his team of scientists clearly want her to be.  I don’t care what the science says or whatever this thing is.  I will not sit by quietly and watch this thing beat her.  She has never let anything beat her in her entire life and I am certainly not going to let her start now.”

Everyone was so enthralled in Coulson’s speech that they didn’t hear the bathroom door open nor did they notice Maria walk into the room and hear the last part of Coulson’s speech.

“You have always had way too much faith in me,” said Maria crossing her arms but refusing to make eye contact with him.  There was no sense in trying to convince herself that Phil’s words didn’t affect her.  The man had too much faith in her, he always had. 

Coulson jumped slightly in his chair at her words as he turned in his chair to see Maria staring outside the window again.  He sighed and stood up walking towards her stopping only 5 feet from her. 

“Look at me.”

Maria didn’t budge.

“Look at me Maria,” there was a sternness to his voice that he knew would catch her by surprise and sure enough, it did as her black eyes finally stared up at his. 

“We all carry things inside of us Maria.  I know you have your demons and I know now that you have this darkness in you.   But so do all of us, maybe not to this extent but we all have our demons.  Look around.”

Coulson paused to as he turned to the people in the room.

“There is a darkness in all of us.  We have all done things we are not proud of.  We have done bad things in our life and we can’t take them back, they are a part of who we are.  And I am just speaking for me, but I am sure everyone in this room feels the same way, but those bad things… sometimes they seem like the only thing I am.”

Coulson paused in his speech making sure to look Maria dead in the eyes so that what he was about to say next would not be fall on deaf ears. 

“When I look at you I don’t see Ross’s monster.  Instead I still see Captain Hill, the young soldier who still believed in fighting for what is right.  I still see the warrior and leader of the Black Angels, who served to make the world a better place.  You never accepted defeat.  You never quit and you never, even in death, left a fellow comrade behind.”

Coulson paused and stepped closer and he watched Maria’s eyes shoot wide at his actions.  Coulson watched her shake her head back and forth the closer he came to her. Coulson continued moving though until he was just a foot away from her.  He was so close he could see the muscle in her jaw flexing and her eyes, her incredibly black eyes stared at him as if he were her next meal. 

Coulson could see out of the corner of his eye Thor and Steve stepping closer, not that it mattered, if Maria wanted to rip his throat out she could in the blink of an eye.  Coulson took a steady breath as he ignored the way Maria’s fists shook at her side as she stared at him. 

“I have to believe that you can beat this,” he spoke to her softly.  “I have to believe that no matter what you have done or what has happened to you that, there is still good in you.    So I have to believe you can beat this, that despite everything, you will get through this.  Because if I don’t believe the strongest person I have ever known can’t defeat her monster, how can I believe that I will beat mine?”

Maria’s eyes shot wide at Coulson’s words as she stared at the man before.  His words hit her right in the heart but the ‘monster’ just to rip his out.  Her fists were clenched so tightly she was certain her nails were cutting into her palms.   For a few seconds they just stared at each other, a silent battle before finally Maria moved back and everyone in the room took a sigh of a relief. 

Maria took 3 steps back from Coulson her breathing coming out heavily as she glared at Coulson.

“That was stupid,” she hissed out at him.

Coulson gave her a small smile, “I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Maria continued to glare at Coulson before her eyes softened slightly at the man in front of her.

“Yah well, the clicking in your jaw says otherwise.”

Coulson smiled at her comment and just for fun he opened and then closed his mouth the noticeable click in his jaw making him smile even bigger.

“Sir, I have completed the facial recognition and I have been able to successfully match the medical staff in the video.”

Jarvis’s voice echoed throughout the room and Stark moved jumped from his chair to walk to his computer.  Typing at the screen for a few minutes before pausing and sighing, “they really aren’t making this easy.”

“What is it?” asked Steve stepping forward.

Stark pulled back from the computer to give Steve access to the large monitor. 

Steve assessed the faces in front of him.  Jarvis had positively identified 6 medical staff in the video which would have been a good thing if it weren’t for the fact that all but one had the big red words ‘DECEASED’ next to their name.”

“They are all dead except one!” exclaimed Rogers not believing what he was seeing. 

“Yup,” said Stark as he started to read the doctors, “Dr. Günther Krieger, Human Clinical Genetics.  Dr. Ivar Erceg, Biochemical Genetic. Dr. Carmen Batteux, Clinical Cytogentics and…

“Dr. Isaak Tretyakov, Molecular Gentic Pathology,” interrupted Natasha her voice shaky her back to everyone, her shoulders tense, “and Dr. Anthony Doyle, Medical Biochemical Genetics.”

Stark turned from the computer to stare at Natasha and then back to the computer to confirm the names.

“Yes, wait how did you know that?” 

Natasha took in a shaky breath before turning to face everyone her face void of any emotion.

“Because I killed them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, what do you think? I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Did you like the tie in from Thor: The Dark World and the Avengers? Every comment is appreciated and I will love to read what you guys think. Thank you for you continued support in writing this story!


	13. Compromised

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the readers here who conintue to leave comments on this story. I I truly enjoy reading every single one of them. Some of the comments I have even taken ideas from and the questions you are asking, I am writing down and making sure address them in the next couple chapters. I want to make sure you all enjoye reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it! 
> 
> Please continue to comment and if you haven't yet go ahead and try. Ask questions. Make suggestions. Rant. Comment what you like and I promise you that I will respond :)
> 
> If you have a tumblr you can follow me on at https://www.tumblr.com/blog/beauttifullife I frequently post updates about the story on there.
> 
> Okay, here is Chapter 13. It is my usual length around 5,000 words and I hope you all enjoy it as much as the last chapter! 
> 
> I look forward to hearing from you all!

Maria used to like silence.  It used to ground her.  Calm her.  But all that changed after the “white room.” After being exposed to sensory deprivation for an unknown period of time Maria quickly discovered she didn’t like silence anymore.  It made her uncomfortable.  It set her on edge.  It did the opposite of what it used to do. 

But the silence that seemed to engulf the room after Natasha’s statement for once was much needed.  

Natasha’s words finally settled in her mind, all Maria could feel was rage.  Certainly not rage at Natasha, but rather rage at this all too familiar feeling of getting one step closer to finding out what really happened to her only to be thwarted again.  It was as if every step she took in the right direction something was pushing her back two more steps and no matter how hard she fought, it felt like a losing battle.

“What do you mean you killed them?”

The accusation in Roger’s voice as he stared at Natasha with narrowing eyes made Maria freeze but the visible flinch Natasha made at Roger’s words made Maria’s blood boil.

Maria moved quickly to place herself between Rogers and Natasha.  Maria knew that Natasha was more than capable of taking care of herself but all it took was one glance at Natasha for Maria to realize that she was in no state to defend herself and if she couldn’t, Maria sure in the hell would. 

Firmly planting herself in front of Rogers she squared her shoulders as she made as big as possible.  She crossed her arms over her chest to level Rogers with a glare. 

“Don’t,” hissed out Maria enjoying the way Rogers seemed to gulp as he stared at her.

Rogers must have instantly known his words had the wrong effect because he put his hands up and took a step back from Maria apologizing.

“I didn’t…” he stuttered out.

“I don’t care,” bit out Maria visibly trembling as she fought to keep her anger under control.

Maria felt a comforting hand on her shoulder and she didn’t have to turn around to see who it was.  As soon as the hand came down she felt herself getting back under control and calming. 

“It’s okay,” was whispered into her shoulder blades as she felt another hand lightly run down her spine. 

Maria continued to glare at Rogers but at least she didn’t feel like ripping in half anymore.  The hand on her shoulder slowly slid down her arm as she felt Natasha step around her body and smoothly slip in front of Maria to stare at the men in the room. 

Natasha placed herself close enough to Maria to feel the breath Maria’s breath on her neck.  It was comforting.  She would need it if she going to talk about this. 

“I wasn’t always a SHIELD Agent,” Natasha paused to stare at Stark, Thor and Rogers.  “At the age four I was taken by a covert Russian Organization called the Red Room.  The Red Room trained me to be the perfect killing machine.  I started my career as an assassin since the age of 15.  I have killed,” Natasha paused to as she stared at Rogers, “I have killed men, woman…children.”

Natasha’s voice broke off as she went silent for a few moments.  She felt Maria move closer to her.

“Before I worked for SHIELD I made a name for myself.  I have a very specific skill set and I didn’t care who I used it for, or on.  I was ordered to kill those people so I did, that simple.” 

Natasha nodded towards the screen that showed the scientists.

“Erceg, Batteux, Tretyakov and Doyle were easy to find and eliminate.  They were low level scientists with barely any security.”

“Krieger on the other hand,” Natasha stiffened at the memory.  “Dr. Günther Krieger was a very big name in human genetics.  His lab was state of the art and received funding from many military and covert agencies due to the breakthroughs he was making with DNA manipulation.  It took me a while to find a way to break into his lab but I did and he was eliminated.” Natasha paused as she took a deep breath.  “A SHIELD tactical team arrived just as I killed him.  Their mission was to bring him in for questioning due to his tendency for human experimentation.  Gunfire was exchanged.  I walked away, they didn’t.”

“After that I got on SHIELD’s radar in a bad way.  When I was doing recon on the last doctor, Agent Barton was sent to kill me.  He made a different call.”

“Do you know who gave you the assignment?” asked Rogers making sure to keep his voice steady and keep any accusation out of it. 

Natasha shook her head.  “I was trained to not ask questions.  So when I received my assignment I did what I was trained to do.”

“Okay,” nodded Stark stepping forward.  “So you are a badass super assassin big deal, Ironman’s cooler.” Stark flung himself into a chair and rolled to the computer.  “Now that we got that out of the way, do you remember anything about…” Stark paused to stare at the only alive doctor on the screen.

“Dr. CandrakusumaGogolinskaite.  Jesus.  Poor kid, no wonder she is a doctor.  With a name like that she practically had to write a thesis just spelling her name.”

The urge to snap at Stark was on the tip of her tongue but a hand on her shoulder made her stop.  Looking over her shoulder she saw Maria staring at her, a mixture of blue and black in her eyes, shaking her head.  Maria leaned down slightly letting her lips graze Natasha’s ear as she whispered.”

“He is doing you a favor, in his own way.”

Natasha relaxed into Maria’s touch as she listened to her words.  Natasha stared at Stark with a critical gaze trying to process what Maria really meant.  The man clearly downplayed everything she just admitted to even going as far as acting as if she wasn’t as impressive as Ironman.  He also changed the subject while also adding his famous Stark humor.  But Stark was also a complete jackass and the thought of him doing her any sort of favor was just inconceivable in her mind. 

Natasha watched as Stark avoided her gaze and continued typing away at his computer.  He looked uncomfortable, obviously feeling her gaze.  Natasha can’t recall ever seeing Tony Stark fidget before, especially with an electronic in his hand.  It was then in that moment Natasha understood what Maria was talking about. 

Stark may be annoying and childish but maybe he was for a reason.  All this time Natasha just assumed he was just a giant man-child, but now after seeing this, she can’t but wonder if it was all a ploy, a good one at that.  Was Tony Stark really using his wit and poor humor as a manipulation tactic?  Maybe this is why Maria liked the guy, though she doubt Maria would ever admit it. 

“Holy shit her middle name is Tanumihardja!  What kind of parent would do that to their child?!”

Natasha rolled her eyes to the ceiling and took a deep breath as she heard Maria let out a small chuckle behind her.  Maria might like the man, and Stark may just be a master manipulator but that doesn’t make up for the fact that every time he spoke she wanted to shut him up, permanently.

“From what I remember she was very difficult to find,” said Natasha stepping towards Stark.  The urge to punch him was still there but the urge to help Maria was greater, so she moved around him to type at the computer.

“She was the hardest one to find.  She was clearly doing everything she could to stay off the grid.  It took me weeks to find her but before I could get to her Barton found me.”  Natasha paused as she typed began typing on the computer for a few seconds before pushing a button and allowing a map to come up on the screen.  “She has a cabin in the Smokey Mountain’s in Tennessee.”

“Why does everyone hide the mountains?  What’s wrong with Hawaii or Figi?” said Stark with a whine as he pushed himself from the table and stand to walk across the room typing away on his phone and then out of the room. 

Everyone watched him walk away in confusion before Thor spoke.  The first words he has spoken since he arrived to Stark Tower.

“Lady Hill…”

“Jesus Thor…just call me Maria,” said Maria interrupting him quickly before he could continue.

Thor paused as he stared at her for a few seconds clearly uncomfortable addressing her so informally but eventually he nodded and continued. 

“I was hoping we could speak.  Privately.”

Maria had to physically stop the surprise at Thor’s request from showing on her face.  She has never even spoken to the God before but now here he was requesting to speak to her, alone. 

“Sure,” said Maria stepping around Natasha allowing her fingers to run down Natasha’s back, silently letting her know she would be okay without her. 

Maria nodded towards an open door in which Stark just walked out of and began to walk towards it, knowing Thor would follow.

Maria walked through the door and down the hallway stopping in what looked like Starks sitting room before turning to Thor. 

The man stopped a few feet from her and eyed her critically for a few moments. 

The silence and the way Thor was looking at her quickly grated her nerves.

“What did you want to discuss?” the bite in her voice seemed to snap Thor out of his assessment as he moved past her towards the dining room table. 

Maria watched as he set his hammer.  What was that thing called again?  Mjolnir?

Thor did not turn to look at Maria as he spoke.   

 “Long before the birth of light, there was darkness.”

Maria stiffened as Thor’s voice washed over her.  Maria knew Thor was old but she never really saw it until now and with a voice full of wisdom and age the Thor she had come to know was quickly replaced by the 1,000 year old future kind of Asgard.

Thor turned to her and continued to speak.  “And from that darkness, came the Dark Elves. A Millenia ago, the most ruthless of their kind, Malekith, sought to transform our universe back into one of eternal night. Such evil was possible through the power of an ancient force of infinite destruction.”

“The noble armies of Asgard, led by my grandfather King Bor, waged a mighty war against these creatures. As the nine worlds converged above him, Malekith could at last unleash the weapon. But Asgard ripped the weapon from his grasp. Without it, the Dark Elves fell. With the battle all but lost, Malekith sacrificed his own people, in a desperate attempt to lay waste to Asgard’s Army.  Malekith was vanquished and the weapon was no more.”

Maria absorbed every word out of Thor’s mouth.  It was certainly interesting but also unsettling. 

“Why are you telling me this?”

“There are relics that predate the universe itself.   The black substance with in you appears to be one of them.”

Maria eyes shot wide and she felt as if her heart was about to burst from her chest. 

“You cannot be serious.”

“The Nine Realms are not eternal. They had a dawn, as they will have a dusk. But before that dawn the dark forces, the Dark Elves, reigned absolute and unchallenged.  Their leader, Malekith, made a weapon out of that darkness, it was called the Aether.”

Thor reached forward and grabbed Mjolnir and held it out for Maria to inspect, “While the other relics often appear as stones,” he pulled Mjolnir back and then spoke, “the Aether is fluid, and ever changing.”

“You think the mutation in my DNA is this Aether?” asked Maria unbelievably.

Thor nodded.

“As the future king of Asgard I am expected[cp1]  to know the history of the Nine Realms.  My father does not know this but during my schooling I came across a journal from my grandfather.  It was in the Asgardian Hall of Knowledge.  I became frustrated with something my father had told me and in my rage I threw Mjolnir.  I destroyed an entire wall in the hall but also to my surprise found a passage that my grandfather’s journals were hidden.”

“We were always told that the Aether was destroyed but his journals indicated otherwise.”  Thor paused and looked grim at his next thought.  “The fluid could not be destroyed.  So my grandfather hid it within the Nine Realms and told no one where it was hid.  His journal did not indicate where he hid it but I can now see he hid it here, on Midgard and it would seem that is no longer hidden.”

“Why are you only telling me this?  Why not the team?”

“The knowledge of Aether is not for mortal men.  It’s one of the greatest powers in the universe, it is unparalleled in its destructive capabilities.  No one can know that you possess this.”

“I don’t want to possess this,” hissed Maria.  “Can you remove it?”

Thor shook his head at her words.  “I cannot and even if I could I wouldn’t.”

Maria froze at his words.  “Why?!”

“It is not that simple,” said Thor shaking his head and walking away from Maria.  ““My grandfather believed that the Aether converts matter to dark matter, it seeks out host bodies in order to draw strength from their life force, energy from living organisms, thereby sapping them of their energy, which would inevitably prove fatal.  Before it could be contained and hidden it had killed a handful of Asgardians.”

Thor summoned Mjolnir to his hand then turned to Maria. 

 

“You are a mortal woman, the Aether should have killed you as soon as you were exposed to it but it did not.  The only explanation is that the Aether has choose you as its vessel.  Even if I could remove it from you the Aether would not allow me to.”

“Fuck!” Maria cried, clenching her fists trying but failing miserably to control her rapidly escalating emotions.  “This is too much.”

“Maria listen…”

“No!” roared Maria.  “I don’t want this responsibility.  Fuck.  I can’t be trusted with this...” But there she stopped, suddenly because suddenly Thor was walking towards her with determination

Thor was now standing directly in front of Maria and then held out Mjolnir in front of him.    

“No living being may wield the hammer unless they are worthy.” Thor looked from the hands on the handle then up to Maria.  Reaching forward with his other hand he gently grasped her wrist and then guided it up to the handle of the hammer.  He wrapped her fingers around the handle directly under his. 

Thor waited until Maria stopped staring at her hand on the handle of Mjolnir to finally stare up at him with a questioning gaze. 

“There is a darkness in you Maria Hill.  The Aether would not have chosen you as its vessel if you did not.”  Thor paused and then quickly let go of Mjolnir.

Maria eyes shot wide as she watched Thor’s hand leave the handle.  She waited for Mjolnir to fall from her grasp but it never came.  Maria couldn’t believe her eyes as she stared down to see her hand firmly grasping the handle of Mjolnir.  She stared at the hammer with an unbelieving stare before looking up to Thor who watched her critically.

Maria rotated Mjolnir in her hand.

“How is this possible?  I read the report on this.  I should not be able to hold this.”

“Mjolnir has deemed you worthy.”

“But…”

“The Aether chose you because your darkness but Mjolnir chose you because of your light.”

Thor reached forward and took Mjolnir from her hand.

“Do not doubt yourself Maria Hill, the Aether will not control you.  Mjolnir would not have deemed you worthy if it could.   If you can wield the hammer, you can control the Aether.”

“Your control over the Aether does not concern me.  What does concerns me however is what triggered the Aether.  It has been dormant in your system for a while, why is active now?” 

Maria opened her mouth to respond, not that she had an answer however but the sound of footsteps behind Thor had her closing her mouth.  Looking around Thor’s broad shoulders to see Tony walking down the hallway clearly surprised to see her and Thor in the sitting room. 

“Wheels will be up in five.”

“Wheels?” asked Thor confused,

Tony rolled scoffed at Thor and walked past him indicating for the two to follow him.  “When Fury gave me the Avenger Initiative report I had my R&D department get to work on an aircraft for the team.”

“You had tactical jet built in a week?” asked Maria.

Tony threw a smirk over his shoulder as he walked back into the room where everyone else was waiting for them.

“No it was finished 2 days ago.  So it was actually finished in 5 days.”

“What was finished in 5 days?” asked Rogers stepping up to them.

“Our transport to Tennessee.  Should be ready to go in 5 minutes,” answered Stark walking past Rogers to his computer.

Maria walked forward past everyone towards Phil and Natasha who seemed to be in a deep discussion. 

Natasha saw her approach and gave Coulson a glare before meeting Maria halfway.

“What’s wrong?” asked Maria concerned at the barely suppressed rage on Natasha’s face.

“Fury,” hissed Natasha.  “He is ordering Coulson and I to report to the PEGASUS Facility in New Mexico. “

Maria placed a calming hand on Natasha’s arm before looking over her shoulder to Phil indicating for him to come over.

Coulson approached them cautiously.

“What’s going on with the PEGASUS Facility?” she asked.                                        

“That’s the problem.  We don’t know.  Around 6 days ago Dr. Selvig has been reporting small energy surges from the Tesseract but as of 4 hours ago the Tesseract is giving off large bursts of energy.”

Maria’s brow furrowed at Phil’s words.

“From what I recall, NASA hasn’t authorized Selvig to test phase.”

Phil nodded concern evident on his face. 

“He wasn’t testing it, he wasn’t even in the room.  Spontaneous advancement.”

“It just turned itself on?” asked Maria understanding know why Phil was concerned.  “What are the energy levels now?”

“Climbing.  Fury expects us there within 2 hours to help with the evacuation and to get Phase 2 off the base.”

“Why does he need me there?” hissed Natasha.  “It’s not like I have the people skills to help with evacuation nor the build to be able to move the Phase 2 equipment.”

“You were supposed to report to PEGASUS two days ago Natasha,” reminded Phil before glancing nervously at Maria then back to Natasha.  “You can’t put this off any longer.  I am surprised Fury hasn’t put you on suspension for disregarding his order.”

Maria eyes shot wide at Phil’s words before staring at Natasha.

“You disregarded an order for 2 days?” asked Maria not believing Natasha would do that.

Natasha at least had the decency to look slightly ashamed at Maria’s words before her eyes softened.

“I was worried about you,” said Natasha softly.  “I knew something was wrong and I was right, wasn’t I?”

“Natasha…”

“I couldn’t leave you.”

Maria fell silent at Natasha’s as she casted a quick glance at Phil to see him nod and walk away towards the elevator.  Maria turned towards Natasha and reached out to grab her hand.  Running her thumb across Natasha’s knuckles, which were still bruised and cut from punching the door. 

“Go with Phil.”

Natasha opened her mouth no doubt to argue but Maria beat her to it.

“I will be fine.  We are going to talk to a 67 year old scientist, there is hardly a threat.  And even if there was, I have a super hero entourage.  Nothing will happen to me.   I can’t say the same about the SHIELD Agents and their families at the PEGASUS Facility.  Go and help them to safety.”

Natasha sighed at Maria’s words before looking away and nodding.

“Good,” smiled Maria giving Natasha’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

Natasha squeezed back but it wasn’t a reassuring squeeze instead it was as if she was clinging to Maria like a life line.

“Nat?” asked Maria worriedly staring down at their clasping hands and then back up to Natasha who was still looking away.

“I killed the only people that knew what was done to you.”

Maria heart clenched at Natasha’s words.  She didn’t know what to say to curb Natasha’s pain.  So instead she said the first thing that crossed her mind.

“Thank you.”

Natasha turned quickly at Maria’s words as she stared at her, shock evident on her face.

“What?” asked Natasha not believing that she heard Maria correctly.

“I said thank you,” repeated Maria.  “The people who did this to me…” Maria spat the word “people” as if it were poison on her tongue, “what they did to me is all consuming.  I can barely remember my life before the black site because of what they did to me.  Everything good I ever did is gone, vanished and replaced by nothing but pain.  The memories…they are sharp, and cut through me, as if even now, they are still cutting me open or sticking me with needles.  They pierced my soul and turned it black and I hate them for it.  I fucking hate them for it.”

Maria paused as she gathered her emotions.  Her fingers started drawing patterns into Natasha’s palm, losing herself in the feeling before speaking again.

“They turned me into this broken mess and even if I won’t see them again, their touch, the pain they inflicted, will be with me for the rest of my life.    I will remember every touch, every needle, every hand…scalpel.”

Maria looked up from their hands to see Natasha looking at her tear filled green eyes.  Reaching up with her free hand she cupped Natasha’s face.   

“Thank you,” choked out Maria.

Natasha squeezed Maria’s hand before pulling Maria into her body, encircling her waist with her arms.  Natasha buried her face into Maria’s neck hiding the tears that spilled down her cheeks. 

They stood there for some time just holding each other.   Finding strength in each other’s arms.

“I will make them pay for what they did Maria.  I won’t stop until everyone who has every hurt you is found.”

Maria ran her hand up Natasha’s back, up her neck and then eventual to her hair, guiding her head back from her chest to look her in the eye.

“I know,” whispered Maria, “and I will be with you, every step of the way.”

                                                                     ***

With Barton at the helm of Stark’s jet they were able to reach the remote cabin in the Smokey Mountains within 2 hours.  Stark in his infinite wisdom supplied her with a new pair glasses.

“It was just something I was working on.  Your old ones needed a Stark flare.   I put a com into it and also uploaded Jarvis into them.”

Barton was able to land the jet within a quarter mile of the cabin. 

“Okay so what is the plan?” asked Barton as turned in the cockpit chair.

“Jarvis has scanned the home,” said Tony typing on his phone to look at the readings.  “According to the thermal scan, there is only one person in the home.  Jarvis is not picking up on a security system either.  It appears the doctor is all alone out here.”

Maria nodded before reaching forward and pushing the button to open that hatch.  She was already moving out the back of the plane as the hatch began to drop.

“What are you doing?” asked Rogers following her. 

“I am going to talk to her,” called over her shoulder as she stepped down the hatch and onto the ground.

Rogers walked down the hatch and before Maria could move any farther he grabbed her arm stopping her.

Maria whirled on him and she had to fight every urge coursing through her body not to rip the man apart. 

She paused as she looked from Rogers hand on her forearm then back to Rogers, giving him a look that clearly let him know that he was very close to losing his arm.

Rogers dropped his hand at the look and took a step back, putting a safe distance between the two.

“I just want to know what your intentions are with the doctor.”

Maria turned to Rogers, her arms crossing her chest as she stared at the man. 

“My intentions?”

“Yes,” nodded Rogers.  He looked past her shoulder to the cabin behind her then back to Maria. 

“Are you asking if I intend on killing her?” asked Maria the calmness in her voice no doubt was setting Rogers on edge.

Rogers shifted on his feet slightly at her direct approach but nonetheless nodded. 

Maria felt her arms drop from her chest as she turned around to look back at the house.  She stared at the home for a few moments and then spoke.

“What would you do if I said yes?”

She could here Roger’s stiffen at her words.  She didn’t need to turn around to know that the man was staring at her with wide eyes.

“I would say that…” Rogers trailed off and Maria could hear him slowly approach her.  She waited until she felt his presence standing directly to her right. 

“I won’t try and stop you,” sighed Rogers.

His statement surprised Maria enough to have her looking from the house and turning to stare at Rogers.

“Really?  Captain America is going to let me walk into that cabin and murder a woman?  I find that hard to believe?”

Rogers shook his head at her words.

“I won’t try and stop you,” he repeated staring at the home before turning to her.  “But I also don’t think you will kill her.”

Maria stiffened and glared at him, “you don’t know me Rogers.”

“No I don’t,” said Rogers shaking his head and then turning his gaze back to the home.  “But I do know you are a soldier.   You took an oath.  You save lives, not to take them.”

Maria grimaced at Rogers words as they both stared at the house in silence.

“I am not that person anymore,” Maria whispered.  “She,” nodded Maria towards the house,” and everyone else at the black site made sure of that.”

Rogers stayed silent for a few moments as he processed Maria’s words.

“If you go into that house and kill her…you will become everything that they intended for you to be.”

Maria stiffened at his words but they didn’t make them any less true.  Maria could feel Roger’s eyes on her as she turned from the home to see him staring at her.    

“What are you going to do?”

Maria sighed as she stared from Rogers to the house and then back to Rogers.

“I have no idea.”

Rogers nodded.  “You will do what is right.  I know you will,” and with that he turned to walk away.

“How can you know that?” questioned Maria as she looked back to see Rogers stop at her words.  He paused at her question before turning to look over his shoulder at her.  

“People make the misconception that I don’t let people die because it is the lesser of two evils, or expedient or because it serves the greater good…I don’t compare the acts against something else—I see someone who needs help…and I help.  Many people think it’s a weakness.  They think it is simple…but they are wrong.  It’s what make us human…which is exactly what we’re supposed to fight for.  I know who I am.  I rescue the helpless.  I raised up the hopeless.  I don’t measure people’s lives…I save them.”

And with that Rogers turned and walked towards the jet and then up the hanger.

Maria watched him go and pondered his words.  Maria turned towards the cabin and thought about what she would do when she entered it.  Sighing Maria made her way down the hill and towards the cabin, wondering with every step if she was walking towards or away from absolution.

***

Coulson and Natasha watched as Fury’s helicopter came down onto the landing pad.  The door opened as Fury stepped out and approached them.

“How bad is it” asked Fury moving forward knowing Coulson and Natasha were following him. 

“Bad,” grimaced Coulson following Fury.  “Evacuation is almost complete and the Phase 2 prototypes are being gathered as we speak.”

Fury continued walking as he led Coulson and Natasha through the radiation section of the facility.  The last of the technicians and Agents were running around them, grabbing everything they could find. 

Fury turned just outside the door to the lab in which the tesseract was being held.

“Agent Coulson I need you to make sure that the Phase 2 prototypes are shipped out.”

Coulson nodded at Fury’s ordered and turned to walk back down the hallway.

“Should that really be a priority right now?” asked Natasha watching as Coulson rounded the corner.

Fury turned to her and leveled her with a look.  “Until such a time as the world, ends we will act as though it intends to spin.”

Natasha bit back a sigh at Fury’s words.  The man always was a tad dramatic but nonetheless nodded.

“Yes sir.”

Fury leveled her with another look before entering the lab.

“Talk to me, doctor.”

Dr. Selvig looked up from the computers at Fury’s voice.  He quickly rounded the machines, concern evident on his face. 

“Director.”

Fury met him halfway and cast a concerned glance back at the Teseract as it began to glow brighter before turning back to the doctor.

“Is there anything we know for certain?”

Dr. Selvig nodded at Fury’s words before walking back over the computer to bring up some data.

“The Tesseract is misbehaving.”

Fury shot Dr. Selvig a look at his words, “Is that supposed to be funny?”

“No,” said Dr. Selvig recognizing his misuse of words, “it’s not funny at all.  The Tesseract is not only active, she’s…misbehaving.”

 

“How soon until you can pull the plug?” asked Natasha finally stepping forwards to stand next to Fury.

Dr. Selvig shook his head at her question and cried out, “she is energy source.  If we turn off the power, she turns it back on.  If she reaches peak level…”

“We’ve been prepared for this,” interrupted Fury.  “Harnessing energy from space.”

“We don’t have the harness,” said Dr. Selvig frustration evident in his tone.  “Our calculations are far from complete.  Now she’s throwing off interference, radiation.”  He paused at the concerns on their faces at his words.  “Nothing to harmful,” he said as he tried to soothe their concerns, “just low levels of gamma radiation.”

Natasha gave the doctor an incredulous look at his words, “that can be harmful,” she deadpanned as she took a few steps back from the Tesseract.

Fury looked around the lab to see everyone in a complete state of panic as the light from the Tesseract grew brighter and brighter.

“Doctor, it’s spiking again,” called an assistant from the computers in the back getting Dr. Selvigs attention as he went running to her.

“Romanoff,” said Fury turning to her.  “You have been here for a couple hours.  Have you gone through the security feeds and staff as I requested.”

Natasha nodded, “No one has come or gone from the lab.  It’s oven is clean.  No contacts, no I.M.’s.  If there was any tampering, sir, it is wasn’t at this end.”

“What do you mean this end?”

“I read the report on the Tesseract on the way here.  Dr. Selvig believes the cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right?” she waited for Fury to nod at her question before shooting him a look. “Well doors open from both sides, sir.”

Fury opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted as the Tesseract let lose a powerful surge of energy, enough to shake the entire facility. 

Natasha turned to the Tesseract and watched as the cube began to burn brighter before a bright blue beam of light shot from the cube, the light was so bright she had to look away as it burned her eyes. 

It is over in a blink of an eye and the sound of heavy breathing as Natasha opening her eyes and looking to the platform.  There, at the end of the platform was a man, with a spear…and he was smiling.  Natasha reached for her gun as the SHIELD guards slowly approached him.

“Sir, please put down the spear!” ordered Fury.

Natasha watched as the man looked at his spear and then back to Fury with an evil grin before suddenly pointing at him.  Natasha saw the blue light in the spear get brighter.  Natasha quickly turned to Fury and tacked him to the ground as a blue light sailed inches over their bodies to explode into the equipment behind them.

The sound of gunfire erupted around them.  Natasha looked from the ground to see the bullets bounce off the man and then to the ground.  She rolled quickly to her feet just as the man jumped across the room to take out several guards.  Natasha backed herself against the wall as the man threw a knife at guard across the room.

Natasha watched as the man turned to her, the evil grin on his face making her stomach turn.  Natasha quickly reached for her other gun but the man was quicker as he flashed in front of her and pinner her arm.  He smiled down at her.

“You have heart.”

She watched helplessly as the man moved his spear to her chest.  The spear glowed brightly as it connected with her chest and then everything faded to black. 

***

Fury rolled to his side just in time to see the fight leave Romanoff as soon as the spear connected with her chest, her eyes turning the same color of the glow of the spear.

Fury quietly got to his feet as the man walked around the room and began to use some sort of mine control ability on the SHIELD Agents around him.  While the man was busy he made his way to the Tesseract and putting it in a case.  Quietly shutting the case he stood to leave the lab…

“Please don’t.  I still need that.”

Fury sighed and turned slowly to face the man.

“This doesn’t have to get any messier.”

The man laughed, “of course it does.  I’ve come too far for anything else.  I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.”

“Loki?” cried out Dr. Selvig rounding the computer machines to face the man.  “Brother of Thor?”

Fury turned from Dr. Selvig to Loki.

“We have no quarrel with your people.”

“An ant has no quarrel with a boot,” smiled Loki.

Fury frowned.  “You planning to step on us?”

Loki laughed as he began to walk around the lab, “I come with glad tidings, of a world made free.”

“Free from what?” asked Fury watching the man closely.

“Freedom,” smirked Loki.  “Freedom is life’s great lie…”

Loki moved so quickly that Fury barely had time to register it as he turned his speak on Dr. Selvig and placed his spear against his heart.   Fury watched as Selvig’s eyes turned the same shade of blue as Romanoffs.

“You will know peace,” said Loki quietly before turning on Fury.

“Yea, you say peace, I kind of think you mean the other thing.”

“Sir,” Fury looked to Natasha expecting to see her addressing him but quickly noticed she was talking to Loki.  This was not good at all.

“Director Fury is stalling.  This place is about to blow.  Drop a hundred feet of rock on us.  He means to bury us.”

Fury smirked, “like the Pharaohs of Odin.”

“He’s right!” yelled Dr. Selvig from the behind one of the few operating computers.  “The portal is collapsing in on itself.  You got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.”

Fury watched as Loki looked from Dr. Selvig then to him.

“Well then,” said Loki smiling before turning to Natasha, who doesn’t even hesitate as she lifts her gun and shoots Fury in the chest.

*******

 

Maria walked up the steps and approached the door.  She stared at the door for a few moments gathering her nerves before knocking.  She could hear rustling on the other side of the door and it was slowly opened.

An elderly wrinkled Indian woman opened the door only to freeze and stare at her with wide eyes.  Maria watched as the woman’s eyes turned from surprise to sadness as her eyes trailed down Maria’s body then back to her face.

“Captain Hill.”                              

Maria thought that hearing the woman speak would trigger some memory but it did not.  She could remember voices from her time at the blacksite but this voice, this distinct voice was not one she could place. 

“Doctor,” said Maria gruffly.

The elderly woman visibly flinched at her tone as turned her head and looked away from Maria.  She continued to avoid eye contact with Maria for some time before sighing.

“Have you come to kill me Captain?” she asked softly still avoiding Maria’s gaze.

Maria tensed at the question and stood silently at the door for a minute before answering.

“I haven’t decided yet.”

The doctor frowned at her words but nodded before opening the door wider and then stepping to the side.

“Would you like some tea then?”

Maria schooled the shock from showing on her face before stepping into the home.  Maria heard the door shut behind her.  She watched as the doctor slowly moved down the hallway and then around the corner.

Maria followed her and couldn’t help but feel the similarities of between this moment and the one that happened in her apartment with Phil and Fury.   She tensed as she reached the corner, will a gun to her head greet her as soon as she rounded it?  Maria paused at the corner tensing, preparing herself to defend herself. 

She rounded the corner quickly her hands ready to strike.  There was no gun in sight instead she saw the elderly doctor bustling around on the stove as she put a kettle on the burner. 

The doctor turned from the burner to stare at her before indicating with her hand to the table.

“Have a seat,” said the woman, “the tea should be done soon.”

Maria couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of this being a trap.  She walked to the table slowly her eyes taking in every detail of her surroundings before making her way to the table.  Maria pulled out the chair and made one last glance around the room before taking a seat. 

“I can assure you that no one knows you are here,” said the woman before walking to the table and seating herself across from Maria.  “I am the only one here and I am no danger to you.”

Maria stiffened, “If you are trying to say you are harmless doctor then I would have to say I disagree.”

The woman’s shoulders dropped at Maria’s comment as she looked away from Maria, sadness evident in her eyes.

“Yes,” whispered the woman, “I would agree with you.”

The two sat in silence for some time before Maria’s resolve finally broke.

“What did you do to me?” bit out Maria.

The woman across the table flinched at her tone and sighed, “I do not know what was done to you.”

“Do not lie doctor,” hissed Maria, “I saw you on the video surveillance.”

The woman shook her head, “Do you know what I specialize in Commander Hill?”

Maria frowned and shook her head.

“I was the world’s leading authority on Mind Control and Cults,” said the woman sighing.  “General Ross contacted me due to my research on Coercive Psychological Systems.  Do you know what that is?”

Maria’s frown deepened and she once again shook her head.

“It is a theory I created.  I believe that Coercive Psychological Systems is essentially a behavioral change program which uses psychological force in coercive way to cause the learning and adoption of ideology or a designated set of beliefs, ideas, attitudes or behaviors.  General Ross contacted me about using this method on you.”

Maria’s hand balled into fists under the table as she fought the overwhelming urge to lash out at the woman.

“So what?!” growled Maria.  “You jumped at the opportunity to test your theory?!”

“Of course not!” bit out the woman glaring at Maria.  “That man,” she spat, “came to my office in California and requested my services on a government project.  I told him that my theory was just a theory and that the use of it on a human being would be immoral.  I told him I would never do that.”

Maria wanted to believe the woman but Jarvis facial recognition was a 100% match, the woman across from her was at the blacksite. 

“So you are denying being at the blacksite?” asked Maria glaring at the woman.

The woman sighed and shook her head, “No,” she whispered.  “I was there.”

“So you lied!” 

“No!” said the woman as she shook her head tears began to stream down her face as she stared at Maria, “I wasn’t there by choice…”

Maria opened her mouth to respond but the woman quickly stopped her rebuttal.

“General Ross took my daughter!”

Maria’s mouth closed as froze at the woman’s words.  Maria watched as tears streamed down the woman’s face. 

“He what?”

The woman wiped the tears from her face before standing up and walking towards an end table.  She grabbed a picture frame off the table before walking to Maria and setting it in front of Maria. 

Maria reached forward and touched the frame with a shaky hand.  There in the frame was younger version of the doctor sitting across from her and a beautiful woman sitting on her lap.  She looked just like her mother and the two were laughing in the picture. 

“Her name was Rachel and she was 23 in that picture.  It was her birthday and we were celebrating her acceptance into med school.  She was very beautiful and so smart.  I was so proud of her.”

Maria stared at the picture in the frame for a few more seconds before looking up.

“Was?”

The woman was sitting down across from Maria again.  Maria watched as another tear escaped from her eye.

“She was killed.”

Maria opened her mouth to respond but the sound of the kettle whistling from the stove interrupted her.  She watched as the doctor stood up from her seat and walked towards the stove.  Maria watched as the woman silently poured two glasses of tea before bringing the cups to the table.  She set one in front of seat and then walked to Maria and handing her a cup.

“He said all I needed to do was to apply my theory to one of his soldiers and if I was successful I would get my daughter back.”

She shook her head at the thought as Maria took the cup from her hand.  The doctor walked back to her seat and sat down.  She took a sip of her tea before continuing.

“They gave me an office at the sight.  I was able to move my research there as well.  I told myself that if I just did what he asked I would get to see my daughter again.  But…” the woman trialed off before turning her head away from Maria to stare outside. 

The haunted look in her eyes had Maria’s spine tingling.

“But when they brought you into my office…I knew it wouldn’t be that simple,” said the doctor softly.

“I still have nightmares of the day they brought you into my office for our first session.  You did speak.  You didn’t move.  You had to be dragged everywhere.  Your eyes were lifeless…I have worked in psychological field for 20 years prior to working with you and I have never seen someone in that mental state before.”

The doctor brought her eyes back to Maria, anger evident on her face.

“When I asked what was done to you to put you in that state I was told that they striped you in order to give me a blank slate to work with.”

The doctor got up and walked over to a painting.  She moved it to the side as a safe was revealed behind it.  The woman placed her hand on the scan pad and the safe clicked open.  Opening the safe she reached inside and pulled out several thick files.  She carried them back to the table and set them in front of Maria.

The woman nodded to the files and spoke, “this is everything I have on your programming.”

Maria looked down at the first file and with a shaky hand she opened it.  She was instantly greeted with the sight of picture of her.  Maria sucked in a shaky breath at the piture staring up at her.  Maria had long hair in his picture, her cheeks were sunken in from obvious starvation, and her eyes…they were hollow, blank as if nothing was there any longer. 

The woman sat down next to her and picked up a particular file and opened it in front of Maria. 

“I helped General Ross and his team to coordinate many different types of coercive influence, anxiety and stress-producing activities over a continuous period of time.  General Ross wanted you to be violent, he wanted you to be ruthless in killing but most of all he wanted you to follow any order.  In order to do that I helped him gain control of you.”

“You were forced to adapt to a series of tiny “invisible” steps.  Each tiny step was designed to be sufficiently small, so small that you wouldn’t notice the changes in yourself or the coercive nature of the process being used on you.”

She paused to flip to a certain page in the file.  On the page was several photos of men and woman, dressed in similar clothing as the Maria’s on the front of the file.

“The whole process was designed so that you were not away are of the hidden organizational purpose of the program.  In order to do this we implemented the program with part of Ross’s tactical team.  You roomed with them, you did all your programming with them.  We wanted you to believe that they were in the same position as you.  The purpose of this was to make you feel as if you had friends and allies.”

Maria stared down at the pictures for a few moments, taking in every face.  Maria didn’t recognize any of the faces staring up at her but she couldn’t help but feel the as if she knew them somehow.

“The team was first instructed increase your suggestibility by forming a close bond with you.  For the first few weeks it was just you and the team in a relaxed state.  They were in constant contact with you and eventually you began to react to their words and touch.  You began to trust them.”

The woman flipped through the file to show Maria daily notes.  The notes would outline who Maria got close to.  What they discussed.  What they did.  Every minute of her life around the team was documented into these notes.

The doctor allowed Maria to read through a few pages of the notes before selecting another file and opening it.

“The next part of the process was to establish control.  General Ross was then introduced to the team.   He established control over the entire team’s social environment, time and source of social support.  I instructed him to do this by a system of rewards and punishments.  Social isolation as also promoted.  After a few weeks the team, and yourself became dependent on each other but most importantly General Ross.”

These pages were filled with notes again and a list upon lists of rewards and punishments that was given to Maria and the team. 

“P **rohibiting disconfirming information**  and non-supporting opinions in group communication was the next part to be utilized. Rules began to be established about permissible topics to be discussed and the communication between the team was highly controlled.”

She paused as she flipped through the file for a few moments trying to find a particular page.  “Ahh…here it is,” she said as she turned the file to Maria.  “We tested you for the first time here.  We had one of the team members try and start an uprising against General Ross.  The other members of the team were instructed to act violently against this person to prove their dedication to the group and General Ross.  It was your first small step, the team member addressed the group about escaping and was soon attacked by the rest of the team.  You instantly joined in on the attack on that team member.  You passed your first step and didn’t even know it.”

Maria read through the report and growling in frustration at what she read.  The doctor gave her time to process the information before supplying her with more.  She flipped to the back of the file and pointed out a page to Maria.

“The next step in controlling you was more difficult.  Essentially we started to make you re-evaluate the most central aspects of yourself.  I was essential in this part of the process.  I was introduced to the team as a therapist that you all could confide in.  I ran group therapy as well.  It was a slow process but I, with the help of the team, was able undermine you basic consciousness, reality awareness, world view, emotional control and defense mechanisms.   I did this by guiding you in individual therapy sessions and group sessions with the team as a way to reinterpret your life history and adopt a new version of causality.”

The doctor grabbed the last file with a shaky hand and set it in front of Maria.  She didn’t open it.

“The next step in the process still gives me nightmares,” whispered the woman as she waited for Maria to open the file before continuing.  “The next steps go hand in hand.  General Ross then created a sense of powerlessness within yourself.  He subjected you and the team to frequent actions and situations which undermined your confidence in your judgement.  We then created strong aversive emotional arousals in the subjects of violence, following orders and the need to kill.  We did this through use of nonphysical punishments such as intense humiliation, loss of privilege, social isolation, social status changes, intense guilt, anxiety and manipulation.”

“We then used the team against you.  You became very close to a woman on the team.  You two bonded very easily and we were able to manipulate you very easily through her.  General Ross began suggesting that failure to adopt the approved attitude, belief or consequent behavior will lead to severe punishment.”

The doctor sighed as she leaned back on her chair and stared at the files on her table.  The disgust was evident in her eyes before turning to Maria.

“It took 4 months for the process to be complete.  By the end of the program you lost your ability to make independent decisions and exercise informed consent.  You relied on General Ross and the team for everything.  Your critical thinking, defenses, cognitive processes, values, ideas, attitudes, conduct and ability to reason were all undermined by a technological process rather than by meaningful free choice, rationality, or the inherent merit or value.” 

The doctor went silent for a few moments before brokenly whispering out.

“With my help General Ross essentially made you into the perfect killing machine.”

Maria stared at the open files laid out on the table.  The information in each file was overwhelming.  She knew the doctor’s breakdown of her “reprogramming” barely scratched the surface of what was in these files.  A question nagged at her mind though and Maria brought her eyes up from the files to meet the doctors.

“If you succeeded in the process then why was your daughter killed?”

The doctor reached for her tea at the end of the table with a shaky hand before bringing it up to her lips.

“I became attached to you,” she said softly.  “During our individual sessions I formed a very close bond with you.  You reminded me so much of my daughter.  You were only a few years older than her at that time…”

The doctor closed her eyes and leaned back in the chair.  Maria could see that the woman was clearly trying to control her emotions. 

“One day during our sessions your broke through the walls we spent months building,” whispered the doctor her voice cracking.  “We were discussing an exercise that happed the day before.  General Ross wanted to test your ability to follow orders.  He had you and your team “extract” information from a terror suspect…”

“By extract you mean torture?” asked Maria bluntly, frowning at the thought.

The doctor nodded, “You told me that it made you feel wrong, that you felt dirty afterwards.  I then tried to undermine those feelings by telling you that what you did was right, that the only thing wrong you did was feel bad about it,” the doctor looked visibly sickened by her words as she spoke, “I was making progress but then you had a mental break in the middle of the session.”

“You started screaming at me about how you don’t torture people.  That you were not a monster.  That you wouldn’t be Ross’s monster…” the doctor frowned.  “You weren’t completely lucid but I think you recognized what I was doing to you.  You stopped yelling at me and then looked me dead in the eye and said _‘Don’t do this to me.  Don’t let him make me into a monster.  Stop him.  Don’t let me become everything I fought to against.  It will all be for nothing.’_ You passed out directly after that.”

“I never told a sole at that black site what happened that day,” said the woman shaking head at the memory.  “After that I couldn’t look at you the same.  I couldn’t do what General Ross needed me to do.  Every time I saw you I remembered what you said to me.  I remembered the plea in your voice…” 

“After that I started deprogramming right under General Ross’s nose,” she smiled at the thought.  “During your sessions I was able to place a trigger into your mind.  If the trigger was activated you would be instantly deprogrammed and return to your original state of mind.  It took me weeks to find a way but I did.  The trigger would be chemical induced, I used a high dose adrenaline.  That high of a dose on a human would result in their heart stopping but with your heightened strength I believed it would be just enough to break your programming.”

The doctor paused and her eyes took on a haunted look as she stared at Maria, “Before I could try my theory I was brought into a room and you were strapped to the bed.  General Ross and five other doctors were present.  They had this substance in syringes.  When I asked General Ross what he was doing, he replied _“I am making her stronger.”_   I watched as they injected you with that substance.   You were screaming.  It was horrible…your eyes turned completely black…”

“I left the room and ran to my office.  I grabbed everything I could.  I packed you a bag with everything I had access to that wasn’t my own research.  I ran back to the room and you had already destroyed the whole room.  Everyone was incapacitated.  When I walked into the room you tried to do the same to me.  You grabbed be around my neck but I hit you with the adrenaline.  At first it didn’t do anything.  I was losing consciousness but then suddenly your hand left my throat.”

“You didn’t speak and your eyes were still completely black but for some reason I could tell it worked.  That some part of you was still in there.  I gave you the backpack and told you to run.  I told you to run and don’t every stop.”

The doctor looked away from Maria. 

“You left and I did right after.  I knew I would never see my daughter again after that.  I also knew that General Ross would be after me soon enough.  I did what I could, I hid here ever since.”

“I saw the news.  I knew the other doctors that were responsible for what happened to you started turning up dead.  I figured it was only a matter of time before I was found…”

A knock at the door interrupted her as both she and Maria turned to the door.  Maria knew it had to be one of the guys as she gave the doctor a look that clearly said that they weren’t even close to being finished before getting up from the table and opening the door.

Barton was standing on the other side looking nervous.

“What?” growled out Maria.

“Coulson wants to talk to you,” said Barton holding out a cellphone to Maria.  “He said it is urgent.”

Maria rolled her eyes and snatched the phone from Barton’s hands.

“What Phil?” bit out Maria, “I am kind of busy here.”

“We need you to come in.”

Maria heard the phone crack under the pressure of hand as she heard Phil’s request.

“Are you kidding me?  You know what I am doing right now.”

Maria could hear Phil sigh on the other end of the phone.

“This takes precedence”

Maria was certain the phone was going to break in half soon.

“I’m in the middle of something.  Tell Fury I will be in tomorrow morning.”

“Maria…”

The sound of Phil’s voice stopped any thoughts of crushing the phone in her hand.  He sounded worried.  He sounded…sad.

“What is it Phil?” asked Maria sensing that something was wrong.

“Natasha been compromised.”         

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so what do you think? I really want to hear from you! Tell me!


	14. What A Tangled Web We Weave

She couldn’t breathe.  She couldn’t move.  Her chest began to ache, as if someone’s hand was wrapped around her heart and squeezing.  A choked cry forced itself up her throat.

“Hill.  What is it?” asked Barton concern evident in his voice.

“Maria, are you there?” Coulson’s voice rang in her ear.

Phil’s voice was like a punch to her chest.   Her breath shot from her lips and it was as if a light switch went on her brain.

“Where’s Natasha now?

Maria saw Barton stiffen at her words and his eyes shot wide.

Maria waited for Coulson’s response but her question went unanswered as she heard Coulson let out a shaky breath.

“Phil,” growled Maria not liking his silence.

“We don’t know Maria,” said Coulson softly.

“Please tell me she is alive,” whispered Maria the emotions in her voice almost causing the words to barely come out.

“We think so,” said Coulson softly but reassuringly.  “I’ll brief you on everything when you get back.  But first,” Coulson paused and cleared his throat uncomfortably, “Fury needs you talk to the big guy.”

“Phil…” hissed Maria instantly knowing who he meant by the “big guy.”

“I know,” said Phil interrupting her, “but Fury says that he is the only one that can trace the low levels of gamma radiation that the tesseract admits.  If we find the tesseract we find Natasha.”

“And we can’t send Barton? Or Rogers?” asked Maria frustration evident in her voice.

“Fury believes he will trust you,” sighed Coulson.

Maria sighed in frustration at Coulson’s words.  She reached up and ran her hand through her hair, pulling on it slightly. 

“Fine.  But I am sending the team to you,” said Maria.  “I want Stark to have full access to SHIELD’s tech.  Barton, Thor and Rogers will have access to everything as well.  I want a plan in place by the time I get back with the doctor.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.”

Maria tried to ignore the uncertainty in Phil’s voice.

“Make it happen,” ordered Maria bringing her gaze to Barton whom was still staring at her with concern.  She looked over his shoulder to see Tony, Thor and Rogers standing at the top of the hill watching them from a distance.  “I am sending them to you now.  Where is the doctor?”

“He is in Kolkata, India.”

“Great.  Set me up with a Transport.”

Maria hung up her phone.  She saw Barton open his mouth to question her but she quickly held up her hand silencing him before turning to address the woman behind her.

“I am leaving.  But this conversation is not over and I will be back.  If you try running, I will find you and I will not be happy.”

The doctor nodded.

“I will be here.”

Maria nodded and then turned to Barton.  She shouldered past him and started walking up the hill towards the jet.

“Hill, what is going on?” called Barton after her. 

Maria increased her pace and made it up the hill with ease.  She stopped in front of the men and waited for Barton to reach the top.

She heard him make it to the top before turning to stare at him.

“Natasha’s been compromised,” said Maria schooling her features and making sure to keep her voice in full Commander mode.  Maria ignored the way the men around her stiffened.  “I am sending you all back to the helicarrier.  I need you all working on a way to find her and start gathering intel.  I want a plan of attack when I get back.”

The men around her nodded.

“Wait,” asked Barton, “where are you going?”

Maria sighed and nodded at his question. 

“Fury needs me to talk to Dr. Banner.”

“You are going alone?” asked Rogers, the tone of his voice letting everyone know that he did not like the idea.

Maria almost snapped at Rogers but stopped herself as she realized the man was concerned for her safety.

“I will be fine Steve,” said Maria softly, using his first name for the first time since meeting him.

Steve paused at her words and clearly wanted to protest, but the use of his first name had him nodding stiffly at her.

“Okay,” nodded Maria looking around at the team.  “Let’s do this.”

*******

Dr. Bruce Banner sighed as he stared down at the very sick children on the bed.  He knew it was too late for them.  Ever since he arrived here he felt as if he was fighting a losing battle.  He stared down at the sick child again.  He would make them comfortable, it was all he could do.

There was a sound of little footsteps running up the stairs and then mother of the sick child yelled in Hindi.

_“What are you doing here?! Get out! You shouldn’t be here!”_

_“I have to see the doctor!”_ cried out a small voice which had Bruce turning. _“It’s my father!”_

 _“Calm down,”_ said Bruce stepping forward his Hindi a little rough, _“What is wrong?”_

The little girl froze as she stared at him before speaking, her voice small, _“My father…_ ” her voice fading as she stared at the sick children on the bed and tears began to gather in her eyes.

Bruce’s heart broke at the little girls tear filled eyes.

 _“Is he like this?”_ asked Bruce softly crouching down in front of her and pointing to the sick children on the bed before looking back to the little girl.

A tear made its way down the little girls face as she held out some money to Bruce.

“Please,” she cried in English.

Bruce nodded at the little girl and then turned to the adults in the room.  He reached into his bag and gave some pain medication to them, explaining that it would make the children comfortable.  They cried at his words before thanking him.  Bruce nodded before turning to the small child and began following her down the stairs.

 _“Show me,”_ he said to her and watched as she nodded and began leading him quickly.  Bruce quickly followed her down the street and then down a deserted road.  A lone house was at the end of the road.  Suddenly, a government car turned onto the road.  Bruce reacted quickly and stepped in front of the girl and kneeled in front of her, hiding himself and the little girl as best as he could.  He only had to wait a few seconds before the vehicle passed them. 

As soon as the vehicle rounded the corner Bruce stood up and let the girl once again lead him to the lone house at the end of the road.  He quickly followed her inside.  She rounded the corner and Bruce picked up the pace.  He rounded the corner only to watch as the little girl hopped on to a chest, turning to give him a passing glance before escaping through the window.

Bruce froze as he watched the girl escape through the window.  He could feel the “other guy” stir in side of him at the obvious set up.

“Should have got paid up front Banner,” joked Bruce to himself hoping the humor would calm the big guy down.

Bruce saw a movement out of the corner of his eye to see a very hard looking woman in khaki cargo pants, a black shirt, and intimidating tattoos on her arms, with pair of a dark sunglasses on, appear from behind the curtains to his left.

“You know, for a man who’s supposed to avoiding stress, you picked a hall of a place to settle,” said the woman making her presence known and leaning up against a wood pillar.

Bruce stiffened at her words and stepped backwards putting some distance between the two of them.  He tried to ignore the fact that the “other guy” was uneasily quiet at the woman’s presence.  He seemed intrigued by the woman. 

“Avoiding stress isn’t the secret,” said Bruce stepping to the side and looking out the window to see just how bad this situation really is.

“Then, what is it?” asked the woman softly, smirking at the man. “Yoga?”

Bruce saw through the woman’s teasing.  She was trying to set him at ease but he refused to get comfortable around her.  Something was definitely wrong here.  He knew it.

“You brought me to the edge of the city, smart,” nodded Bruce turning to the woman before crossing his arms over his chest and leveling the woman with a look.  “I assume the place is surrounded?”

The woman’s smirk only increased at his question before she pushed herself off of the wood pillar and began to slowly approach him before shaking her head.  

“It’s just you and me.”

Bruce scoffed not believing the woman for a second, “And your actress buddy, is she a spy too? Do they start that young?”

The woman frowned at his words before going silent for a second.

“Unfortunately some do.”

Bruce could hear the emotions in the woman’s voice but he has worked with these type of people in the past.  They were very good at playing on the emotions of their mark, and he refused to lower his defenses, only for this woman to capitalize on it.

“Who are you?”

Bruce watched as his words seemed to surprise the woman out of her deep thought.  She took it in stride though and turned to Bruce.

“Maria Hill.”

Bruce paused at her answer as he racked his name trying to think if he has ever heard of this name.  He feels like the heard of the name somewhere but couldn’t quite place it.  As he thought about it longer though he doubted that it wasn’t even the woman’s real name.

“Are you here to kill me, Maria Hill?” asked Bruce watching the woman closely for any reaction to his words.  “Because that’s not gonna work out for everyone.”

“No,” said Maria Hill stiffening at his words.  “No,” she repeated, “of course not.  I am here on behalf of SHIELD.”

It was all coming together now for Bruce.  The woman didn’t look like any SHIELD Agent he had ever seen.  Although, now that he thought about it, the woman did have an intimidating presence like Nick Furry.

“SHIELD,” nodded Bruce stepping forward, just slightly more comfortable around the woman.  “How did they fine me?”

Maria Hill scoffed at his words, “They never lost you doctor.  They just kept their distance.  They even helped keep other interested parties off your scent.”

“Why?”

She shrugged slightly, “Nick Fury seems to trust you and now he is requesting that you come in.”

Bruce stiffened at her words.

“And if I refuse?”

Maria Hill seemed to ignore his newly adopted tense body language as she walked towards the table and sat down.

“I’ll persuade you,” she said before nodding towards the open chair across from her.

Bruce walked slowly to the chair and sat down, his eyes never leaving the woman across from him.

“And what if the…other guy says no?” asked Bruce testing the woman.

She ignored his words completely as she reached in her pocket and pulling out her phone typing on it before answering.  “You have been without an incident for year.  I don’t think you wanna break that streak.”

Bruce leaned back in his chair, “I don’t always get what I want,” he pointed out.

He watched as she nodded at his words and typed on the phone for a few more seconds, “Doctor Banner, we’re facing a potential global catastrophe.” 

Bruce couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped his lips at her words.

“Well, those I actively avoid.”

Maria Hill pushed her phone across the table.  There was a picture of a glowing cube on the screen and a report attached to it.

“That is the Tesseract,” she nodded towards the phone waiting for Bruce to pick it up an examine it.  “It has the potential energy to wipe out the planet.”

Bruce stared at the cube on the phone before accessing the file.  He quickly read through the report before setting the phone down and leaning back in his chair.

“What does Fury want me to do? Swallow it?”

Maria Hill smirked at his words and shook her head, “He wants you to find it.  It’s been taken.  It emits a gamma signature that’s too weak for us to trace.  There’s no one that knows gamma radiation like you do.  If there was, that’s where I’d be.”

Bruce scoffed again. He didn’t believe it for a second. 

“So Fury isn’t after the monster?”

Bruce couldn’t help the noticeable shift in Maria Hill’s body language at the word monster.  Interesting.

“Not that I am aware of.”

It was an evasive answer and the tone of her voice was darker then it was before.

“And he tells you everything?” mocked Bruce his tone now darkening as well.

He watched the woman’s hands clench into fists on the table.

“Talk to Fury,” she growled, “he needs you on this.”

Bruce chuckled darkly.

“He needs me in a cage?”

He knew he was pushing her but he needed to know her intentions towards him and judging by her body language she did not like the direction this conversation was going.

“No one’s going to put you in a…”

“STOP LYING TO ME!” yelled Bruce standing quickly and smashing his hands on the table making it shake.

He wanted to see her reaction to the “other guy” possibly coming out.  He waited for the gun he thought for sure was hidden under the table.  But instead he was surprised to see the woman not even flinch at his outburst.  She sat there stoic, her eyes brows rising behind her glasses in a silent challenge.

“Really, nothing?” asked Bruce surprised as he stared around the house trying to listen for the STRIKE team that he truly thought was surrounding the house.

“I am not afraid of you Dr. Banner and I told you I came alone,” said Maria Hill softly relaxing in the chair.

Bruce sat in his chair as he stared at the woman in surprise before frowning at her.  Now that he was certain that Maria Hill wasn’t here to try and take him, he was able to relax…slightly.  He assessed the women for moment, taking in her demeanor, her tattoos, the fact that she was wearing sunglasses at night, yes…there was more to this woman that she has let on.

“Who are you, really?”

She shifted in her chair at his question and Bruce watched as the woman before her shifted into almost a completely different person.  She straightened in her chair.  Her shoulders became rigid and suddenly she became bigger, more imposing. 

“My name is Commander Maria Hill,” her voice was stronger, more assertive and commanding.  “I am the Deputy Director of SHIELD.”

Bruce’s eyebrows rose at this.

“Fury sent his Deputy Director to bring me in?”

The only reaction he received from his question was the slight tick in her cheek as she nodded at him.

“Fury believed that you would be more receptive to my presence.”

Bruce stared at her confused, “I don’t even know you.  Why would Fury think I would trust you?”

Bruce watched as the woman nodded stiffly at his words.  He didn’t think it was possible but the woman got even more rigid in her seat and she went silent.

Bruce stared at her waiting for her answer.  He waited, and waited, and waited.  Bruce was a patient man but the silence was grating his nerves.

“Commander Hill…”

“General Ross,” she gritted out interrupting him.

For the first time since meeting the mystery woman the “other guy” made his presence known within Bruce.  All it took was that “mans” name being said and the   
“other guy” wanted to rip apart the entire house apart.

“What did you just say?” the anger in Bruce’s voice was evident and very much real.

He watched as Commander Hill once again didn’t seem to react at his anger.

“Fury believes you would trust me because of my past history involving General Ross and my severe hate for the man.”

“You have past dealing with him?” asked Bruce avoiding using “his” name.

Commander Hill nodded stiffly.

“He is hunting me, like you.”

Bruce once again found himself assessing the woman in front of him.   Why would “he” want her?

“Why?”

Bruce was almost positive the Commander was going to break her teeth from clenching her jaw so hard.

“While I was a Captain in the Army I was exposed to high levels of gamma radiation.  It resulted in my heightened strength and speed.  General Ross…took an interest in me.”

The coldness in the Commander’s tone and her words told Bruce four things—One: This woman indeed was telling the truth, you can’t fake hate that real.  Two: He was talking to the only other person in the world whom hates “him” at the same level, if not more than Bruce.  Three: There was definitely more to her story then “him” just taking an interest in her.  Four: Fury was right, he did trust her. 

*******

Maria and Dr. Banner rode in silence on the Quinjet.  It was a long flight and Maria knew that Dr. Banner had a lot of reading to do.  The Quinjet landed on the helicarrier which was currently floating in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.  Maria pressed the button to open that hatch and instantly noticed Phil waiting for her at the bottom. 

“Agent Coulson,” nodded Maria to the man.

“Sir,” acknowledged Coulson. “Fury needs you.  The World Security Council has called a meeting.  Fury wants you in on it.”

Maria sighed.  Dealing with The World Security Council was not something she wanted to deal with right now.  She couldn’t ignore it though, no matter how much she wanted to.  She was the Deputy Director of SHIELD after all.  She had a responsibility.

“Okay,” nodded Maria before walking away but not before calling an order over her shoulder.  “I want to be debriefed on your progress as soon as I am out.  Gather everyone.  I will be in the control center in 15 minutes.” 

Coulson turned to Dr. Banner, whom just finally made his way down the hanger.  Coulson gave him a reassuring nod before turning to follow Maria down the deck.

Dr. Banner watched them go, confused as to what exactly he was supposed to do know. 

“Dr. Banner.”

Bruce turned at the voice to see Captain America smiling him and offering him his hand.  He smiled nervously as he reached out and shook the offered hand.

“Hello,” said Bruce nodding politely, “I was told you would be here.”

Steve gave the man a reassuring smile and nodded.

“Word is that you can find the cube.”

Bruce nodded but frowned slightly before looking around at the SHIELD Agents running around the runway.

“Is that the only word?”

“Only word I care about.”

Bruce turned back to Captain America and assessed the man quickly noting the honestly in his voice before nodding.

“This must be strange for you,” he commented indicating with his hand to the chaos going on around them, “all of this.”

Steve smiled as he looked around to the bustling Agents.

“Well, this is actually pretty familiar.”

The both looked around for a few moments before a siren sounded on the deck.

“We better get inside Dr. Banner,” called out Steve raising his voice over the siren.

Bruce looked around the deck to see the men now tying down the jets.  The sound of water rushing from the side of the boat had Dr. Banner looking over its edge before turning back to Captain America.

“Really? They want me in a submerged pressurized container?”

Steve smiled slightly at his words and shook his head before indicating with his hand for Dr. Banner to follow him.

“It isn’t a submarine doctor.”

Bruce’s eyebrows rose at this as he followed Captain America to an open door.  They were almost to the door before he felt the ship start to rise.  He turned around to see four large propellers spinning, lifting the ship up.

“Oh no…this is much worse.”

*******

“This is out of line Director!  You’re dealing with forces you can’t control.”

Maria sighed as she walked into the room to see Fury standing in the middle of the room surrounded by holographic council members.

Fury turned at her presence assessing her quickly.  He frowned at the glasses on her face but gave her a stiff nod before turning to the council members.

“Have you ever been at war, Councilman? In a firefight?  Did you feel an overabundance of control?

Maria nodded at Fury’s words before stepping up beside him.  Truer words could not have been spoken. 

“Are you saying that this Asgard…” the same councilman spoke again pausing as he noticed her presence before continuing, “are you saying that he has declared war on our planet?”

“Not Asgard,” said Fury shaking his head, “Loki.”

The other male councilman jumped in, concern evident in his voice, “he can’t be working alone.  What about the other one? His brother.”

Maria answered this question, “Our intelligence says Thor is not hostile.  He was with me when his brother attacked the PEGASUS base.  He has nothing to do with this.”

“My concern is that this Loki of Asgard is powerful beyond anything we can match.  I sent you the surveillance footage from the lab.  One of our best STRIKE teams was taken out in a matter of seconds and one of our best SHIELD assets was compromised.”

“We have all seen the footage Director.  Are we certain that Agent Romanoff was not in on this?  We all expressed to you our concern about bringing the Black Widow to SHIELD.  She is unpredictable and dangerous…”

“Agent Romanoff,” said Fury stepping in front of Maria quickly silencing the angry rebuttal that was at the tip of her tongue, “is a SHIELD asset.  She has shown her dedication to SHIELD on multiple occasions and is one of my most trusted Agents.  I was present when Loki took control over Agent Romanoff and I assure you she fought him until the end.”

Fury waited a few seconds before stepping to the side again to allow Maria to see the council members again.

“This isn’t the first time we have had a visitor from another planet who has an agenda.  We learned then, just like we are learning now that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned.”

The silence in the room was uncomfortable and Fury looked over his shoulder to Maria then nodding to her and indicating for her to step up. 

Maria stiffened at his look but stepped forward and addressed the council.

“We need a response team.”

Maria rolled her eyes behind her glasses at the shouts of outrage from the holographic councilmembers.

“PHASE 2 was designed for exactly this!”

“The Avenger’s initiative was shut down!”

“This isn’t about the Avengers,” said Maria firmly talking over all of them, effectively shutting them up.

“Commander Hill, we’re running the world’s greatest covert security network and you believe we should leave the fate of the human race to a handful,” the councilman paused as he eyed Maria up and down, disgust evident on his face, “of freaks.”

Maria heard Fury shift behind her at the councilmen’s words.  She looked over her shoulder to see Fury opening his mouth, his face contorted in rage.  Maria stepped in front of him just like he did to her a few minutes prior.

“We scare you, don’t we?” asked Maria watching the councilman’s eyes shoot wide in shock and then anger.  But she saw it in his eyes.  She was correct in her assumption.

The councilman opened his mouth to respond.

“I see it in your eyes councilman,” interrupted Maria.  “You fear us.  You fear the freaks.”

Maria watched the man close his mouth and glare at Maria.  She looked around the room to see all four council members with the same wide eyes as they stared at her.

“The job of protecting people is a job I fell into, really.  Overtime I realized there are shades of gray to all of it.  Throughout my life of protecting people I have seen beautiful and amazing things, acts of great valor…” Maria voice trailed off, “but I have also seen cruelty, destruction, hate and an unspeakable evil.”

“And what you say might be true…I may be a freak…all of us…the Avengers.  But freaks or not, like it or not…you need us.”

Maria stepped forward making sure to make eye contact with every council member.

“Understand this, we could leave.  We could leave this place and watch from a distance as the world as you know it is destroyed.”

Maria made sure the truthfulness in her statement was heard by each one of the before turning to stare at Fury.

 “I am certainly capable of leaving.  I would like nothing more.  To put the world behind me and finally live my life free.  Free of the burdens that people in power have bestowed upon me.  I don’t want to be needed.  I don’t want this power and I certainly don’t want the responsibility that comes with it.  I want to run.”

Maria and Fury stared at one another for a few moments before she continued.

“But do you know how I know I won’t?” Maria paused to turn back around to the council members.  “I know because when I really start questioning myself, and whether or not I am the monster everyone believes me to be, I remember—I, and the men and woman that I stand with, the Avengers, the good and bad, faults and all—no matter how right we believe we are…we never let people die just to prove our damn point.  We won’t let innocent people die just to make you realize that you need us.”

Maria paused steadying herself before speaking, her voice strong and powerful.

“Now I don’t know if that’s enough for you, or the rest of the world, but for the time being—it’ll have to do.” 

Maria gave them all a pointed look before turning and walking away.  She made it to the door before pausing.  She did not turn around but spoke one last time. 

“The Avengers will stop Loki, with or without your consent.”

*******

Dr. Selvig and several scientists from the PEGASUS site were working on an underground lab that Loki had set up for them. 

“Dr. Selvig.”

Dr. Selvig looked up from the computer to see Agent Romanoff approach him holding a tablet.

“Is this what you need?” she asked holding out the tablet to him.

Dr. Selvig reached forward and grabbed the tablet to see metal substance on the screen.  He nodded at the screen a smile on his face as he read the report attached to the image. 

“Yes!  Iridium!” he looked up from the tablet to Agent Romanoff.  “It is found in meteorites, its forms anti-protons.  It’s very hard to get a hold of.”

Agent Romanoff nodded and accepted the tablet back from him before looking down at the information for a second time. 

“I will be even harder to get ahold of now if SHIELD knows you need it.”

Dr. Selvig shook his head and smiled, “they don’t know we need it.  I didn’t know back then…” over Agent Romanoff’s shoulder he saw Loki approaching.   He quickly moved passed her and approached him.  “Loki!  The Tesseract is showing me so much.  It’s more than just knowledge…its truth!” 

Loki stopped in front of the man and smirked.

“I know,” said Loki before looking over to Agent Romanoff.  “What did it show you, Agent Romanoff?”

Agent Romanoff approached him as she pushed a few buttons on her tablet before flipping it to show Loki.

“My next target,” she answered showing Loki a picture of the doctor’s whose retinal scan would be required to access the Iridium.

Loki smirked at the coldness in her voice before nodding.

“Tell me what you need.”

“I need a team,” said Natasha instantly.

Loki nodded before stepping away smirking.  He looked around the warehouse for a few moments before turning back to Agent Romanoff.

“SHIELD has no shortage of enemies Agent Romanoff…” Loki paused as he a sound much to faint for a mortal to hear sounded behind him.  “And it seems “your team” has arrived.”

Loki turned around to stare at a darkened corner of the warehouse.  He felt Agent Romanoff move to stand next to him.

They both watched as a United States Armed Forces Strike team came into the light. 

Agent Romanoff eyed the team with confusion evident on her face.  There was no blue tint to any of the soldier’s eyes which led her to believe that they were all here on their own accord.  Why would the United States Armed Forces freely agree to work with Loki?

“How?” questioned Agent Romanoff looking to Loki then back to the Strike team.

Loki smirked at the confused look on Agent Romanoff’s face before turning to the team.    He then gestured to two men, indicating for them to step forward.

The men did as he requested and approached stopping just a few feet from them. 

“Agent Romanoff this is Captain Emil Blonksy.  He is a British Royal Marines that is currently on loan to the United States Armed Forces,” Loki paused and allowed Agent Romanoff and Captain Blonksy nod to one another before moving to the next man.  “And this,” he paused pointing to the very large formidable African American man, “this is General Joe Greller.  General Greller was asked by his superior to put this team together for us.”

Agent Romanoff and General Greller traded nods before she turned back to Loki.

“Sir, how do we know we can trust them?  SHIELD and the United States have close ties.  How do we know this isn’t a trap?”

Loki chuckled darkly at Agent Romanoff’s question.

“Because Agent Romanoff I have struck an accord with them.  They will help me get the Iridium and breach the SHIELD helicarrier, and in return I will give them what they want.”

Agent Romanoff turned from Loki to look at the men before them.

“If caught, they are all risking treason, court-martial and they will be tried by the International Criminal Court with the United Nations…, “ Agent Romanoff paused to bring her gaze back to Loki, “So if you don’t mind me asking, sir…what could the United States Armed Forces want that is worth that risk?”

Loki opened his mouth to respond…

“What we want Agent Romanoff is worth everything,” said a voice from behind the Strike team. 

Everyone turned to the voice and the Strike team parted to reveal a man that Agent Romanoff instantly recognized. 

General Ross eyed the Agent Romanoff a smirk forming on his lips as he spoke.

“We want Captain Maria Hill.”


	15. So It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So this is the new chapter but please go back and read the whole story. I have rewritten this whole story and there are completely new chapters in this story. I have added an additional 25,000-30,000 words. Trust me, you will love the additions and updates. Thank you all for your patience and I hope you enjoy the changes I have made. I can't wait to hear what you guys think!

Maria walked into the command center and was instantly greeted with the site of Tony Stark at the helm of the helicarrier.

“Raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails…”

All the Agents paused around him and stared at him with wide eyes.  The sound of her heavy footprints had them all turning to her. Tony followed their eyes and turned to greet her. 

“How does Fury do this?” asked Tony holding a hand over his eye as he stared down at the controls.

“He turns,” deadpanned Maria as she stepped up to the control center with Tony.

Tony lowered his hand and smirked.

“Sounds exhausting.”

Maria shook her head at the man’s antics before getting down to business. 

“Where are we?”

Tony’s smirk dropped from his face and then he nodded to the table, where Steve, Coulson and Thor were looking over some surveillance footage.

“We got a hit about 2 minutes ago.  Sixty-seven percent match.  Weight, cross match, seventy nine percent.”

Maria nodded.  At least it was something.

“Location?”

Steve overheard the conversation and picked up a tablet and held it out to her.

“Stuttgart, Germany.  28, Konigstrasse.  He’s not exactly hiding.”

Maria looked down at the tablet where a surveillance of the location was currently being run live.  Maria could see that people were directing traffic and there seemed to be a big event at what looked like a museum.

“Okay, let’s get him.”

***

Agent Romanoff crouched behind a corner as she eyed two guards.  One of them was standing on the roof and the other was on the ground level.  She turned to around to see Captain Blonsky looking at her.  He was dressed in a black tactical suit, with no badges to indicate he was aligned with any country or organization.

“One on the roof.  One on the ground level.  You got a silencer on that thing?” asked Natasha staring down at his gun.

Captain Blonsky smirked as he reached inside his pocket and screwed the silencer onto his rifle.  He checked it over for a couple seconds before giving her a nod. 

“Take the top one on my count,” said Agent Romanoff pulling out a knife from her belt. 

“I will get the bottom one.”

She waited to see his nod before she looked around the corner one more time.  With her free hand she held up three fingers behind her back.  She watched as the lower level guard turned his back to her and she counted down on her fingers.

When she hit zero she rounded the corner quickly and reached the guard in a couple steps.  The sound of a silencer being fired could be barely heard behind her just as her knife dragged across the guard’s throat.  The guard fell at her feet and she watched as blood began to pool around him.  His lifeless eyes staring up at her. 

Agent Romanoff stared down at the man.  A slight uneasy feeling formed in her stomach as she stared down at the dead guard.  Her head began to throb and her heart began to beat…she felt dirty…wrong…

A hand on her shoulder had her jumping as she turned to see Captain Blonsky looking at her.

“You good?”

Agent Romanoff stared at him then back to the guard.  Her head no longer throbbed and her pulse evened out.  She took a deep breath, wiping the blood off her dagger on her suit before sheathing it back into her belt.

“I’m good.  Let’s get to the door we should have the retinal scan soon.”

***

Loki looked down at the pathetic gathering of mortals before him.  The gentle music coming from the orchestra was the only thing that he appreciated in the room.  He descended the stairs and his eyes connected with his target. 

He reached the bottom of the steps and moved swiftly.  A guard tried to stop him but he was easily dealt with as his cane connected with this head.  The people in the room gasped and some even screamed as the guard crashed to the floor his head split open and blood splattering the floor.

Loki paid the group nor the blood no mind as he continued to his target.  He grasped the doctor by the throat and pushed him through the crowd before throwing him onto a table.  He held him down smiling as the man struggled under his grip.  Reaching behind him he pulled out a device that removed the eye and then transferred the optical scan to its brother device.  He pressed a button on the device as hit came to life before plunging it down into the doctor’s eye.  Loki’s smile only grew as the doctor screamed in pain. 

*******

Agent Romanoff and Captain Blonsky reached the door.  She took out the retinal image device and placed it on the screen.  They both waited a few minutes before finally a holographic image of the doctor’s eye began to appear. 

The full eye was finally on display and the sound of the door beeping open was heard.  Captain Blonsky quickly pulled the facility door open while Agent Romanoff removed the device from the entry pad.

They both walked into the facility and after turning down a few hallways they quickly found the lab.  They split up and began looking around the lab for the Iridium.

“I got it over here,” called Captain Blonsky from across the room.

Agent Romanoff quickly moved to his side as he opened a cabinet.  H then reached in side to pull out a glass thermos of iridium.  They both stared at the substance for a few seconds making sure it was the correct substance.

Agent Romanoff nodded before switching on her coms.

“This is Agent Romanoff and Captain Blonsky.  We have the Iridium and are moving to pick up zone.”

*******

Loki heard Agent Romanoff in his ear confirming that the Iridium was in their possession.  He smirked ripping the com off his ear, throwing it to the ground and stepping on it, crushing it under his heel. 

He began to walk out of the museum releasing his glamour as his formal suit began to turn into his gold armor and his helmet materialized onto his head.  The pathetic humans were screaming around him as he reached the door and began to walk down the steps. 

Sirens were fast approaching.  Agent Romanoff warned him that the “police” would be on seen relatively fast due to the high society members at the museum.  He watched with a bored expression as two vehicles with blaring sirens and bright blue lights flashing came down the road towards him.

He lazily pointed his scepter towards the vehicles and blasts them.  He watched as one flipped over on to its top and the other exploded. 

He continued across the road to a group of humans screaming and trying to flee.   He quickly cast as spell allowing multiple images of himself to appear around the crowd, gathering them into a circle, like cattle waiting to be slaughtered.

“Kneel before me,” ordered Loki, his mirror images all repeating his words.

The humans continued to panic and scream, ignoring his order. 

Loki stiffened as rage consumed his body.  He would need to teach this pathetic species how to respect royalty.

“I SAID KNEEL!” he screamed in rage slamming his scepter down.  A blue light shot from his scepter and connected with his mirror images creating a blinding light.

The display of power seemed to do the trick as the crowd all froze and dropped to their knees.   All of them were shaking as they stared up at him. 

Loki smiled and held his arms out to them.

“Is not this simpler?  Is this not your natural state?” he questioned as he began to walk into the crowd.  His smile only grew as the humans moved out of his way but still continued their kneeling position. 

“It’s the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation.  The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life’s joy in a mad scramble for power, for identity.  You were made to be ruled,” he paused as he stared around at the kneeling men and woman, “in the end, you will always kneel.”

He smiled at the thrill of power ran through him.  The thrill was quickly diminished as a movement caught his eye.  He watched as an elderly man stood.

“Not to men like you.”

Loki fought the urge to blow the man up as he slowly walked towards him.  The disrespect grating his nerves. 

“There are no men like me old man.”

The old man stared at him for a few moments.  His eyes racking up Loki’s body before coming to rest on Loki’s face.  The man shook his head and stared at Loki with pitying eyes.

“There are always men like you.”

Loki snarled at the man before pointing his scepter at him.

“Look to your elder, people.  Let him be an example,” Loki felt the power rush through the scepter as blue energy shot from it.

Suddenly a shield appeared in front of the man.  The blue energy quickly rebounded off the shield and before Loki could react the blue light crashed into his stomach, sending him onto his back.

Loki groaned slightly from his back as a man’s words reached his ears.

“You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.”

Loki sat up and glared at Captain America who still stood in front of the old man.

“The soldier,” snarled Loki standing up.  “A man out of time.”

Captain America smirked his head tilting slightly. 

“I’m not the one who’s out of time,” he pointed out.

Above him a Quinjet arrives and a machine gun activates and points towards Loki.

“Loki, drop the weapon and stand down,” ordered Barton’s voice from the Quinjet.

Loki stared at the Quinjet for a few moments before raising his scepter quickly fully intending on blasting it out of the sky.

Suddenly something crashed into his body, knocking him off his feet and sending him fifteen feet backwards, to land roughly onto his back.

Loki gasped as his back connected with the ground, not understanding what just happened.  He looked to his left and his eyes widened at the site of Mjolnir resting at his side.  He watched as the hammer was summoned and followed it as it landed into an all too familiar hand.

Loki looked up to see his brother standing next to Captain America, Ironman hovering in the air above them, and a woman in a black tactical suit and dark sunglasses on his brother’s right. 

Loki moved to stand up but Ironman’s weapons activated and trained on him, the quinjet in the background still had its weapons on him as well. 

“Make your move, Reindeer Games,” said Ironman almost as if he was begging Loki to test him.

Loki looked to the people in front of him.  He was outmatched.  Of course he planned for this, but he wasn’t expecting his brother, or this woman.  Who was this woman? 

He stared at her for a few moments, taking in her body language and her facial features before he finally put a name to her face.  He recognized her from Agent Romanoff’s memories.  Finally he was meeting Maria Hill, Agent Romanoff’s lover, former Captain in the Marines, The Black Angel, Deputy Director of SHIELD and the woman who General Ross would risk _everything_ for. 

Loki eyed the woman cautiously for a few moments and watched as her hands twitched next to her body as if they were itching to wrap around his neck.  He silently cast a spell towards the unknown woman.  The spell would allow him to see what her powers were and also provide him with her history.  His magic slowly seeped from his body towards her.  His magic was just about to touch her when suddenly a violent event occurred.

A dark red substance erupted around the woman and attacked his magic before turning on him, it collided with his chest and threw him back another ten feet. 

Loki felt the darkness of the substance and as soon it touched his body and it sent shivers down his spine.  He looked up quickly to see the woman on her knee breathing deeply with Captain America kneeling beside her, a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Loki mind’s was moving a mile a minute trying to understand what dark magic this woman possessed but he was quickly interrupted as his brother launched into the air to land directly at Loki’s feet.  The ground cracked at the impact.

“No more games Loki,” growled Thor.

His brother glared down at him and Ironman landed next to him, his weapons still trained on him.

Loki knew if he tried anything like that again he would not like the outcome.  Looking at his brother he slowly raised his hands, letting the magic flow across his body and his armor disappearing only to be replaced by his dark green tunic.

Loki looked from his brother’s glare back to the woman who was now on her feet but still breathing heavily. 

A smirk formed on his face as she looked up to stare at him from behind her glasses.

  1.   Things certainly got a lot more interesting.



***

Maria exited the hanger.  Her mind still reeling from what happened just a few hours prior.  Tony did some scans of her body and except for an elevated heart rate there was no indication of any problems.  Thor just gave her a meaningful look over Tony’s shoulder as Tony questioned her about how she felt during the attack, what she felt after, could she control it…the questions went on and on.  None of them which she really had an answer to, much to his disappointment.  It just happened and before she knew it, it was over.

She watched as a dozen or so SHIELD Agents escorted Loki, who Steve put in handcuffs, and then down a hallway.  He looked over his shoulder and to make eye contact with her.  The chilling smile on his face made her stomach turn. 

She waited until Loki and the guards rounded the corner before proceeding down the hallway knowing that the lab was just down the hallway an on the right.  She heard the team following her.  She peaked her head into the lab to see Bruce typing at a computer.

“I need you in the command center.  Ten minutes.”

Bruce looked up from the computer and nodded.

She nodded back before turning to the men behind her.

“Command center in ten minutes.  We need to debrief and figure out where to go from here. Fury will want to know every detail.”

She watched as the men nodded around her.       

Tony mumbled something about locking up his suit and walked away, Steve following him.

“Barton,” said Maria before he walked away.  “Can you assist security in making Loki is securely put away?”

Barton nodded at her words before walking past her towards the direction of the holding cell that he knew they were taking Loki.

Maria watched as he rounded the corner before she turned to make her way to the command center.  She took her time getting there.  She was in no hurry and to be honest she needed time to process what had happened.  The Aether protected her and not only did it protect her but it also attacked Loki. 

While she appreciated the protection the uneasy feeling of not being in control of her actions when it attacked set her on edge.  She didn’t feel it stir inside her before it unleashed.  She couldn’t control it, and it had her feeling incredibly week after it left her body. 

Maria entered the command center and the uncomfortable silence that followed her arrival set her on edge.  She looked around to see Agents actively avoiding her gaze. 

She sat down at the glass table.  The interface built into it allowed her to bring the surveillance up from the secure room that Loki was being taken.  She pushed at a few holographic buttons before turning on the volume to the surveillance.

Fury’s voice echoed from the screen as she saw him enter the room just as Loki was placed in the cell.

“In case it's unclear. You try to escape. You so much as scratch that glass.”

Fury paused as he pressed a button and the hatch below the cell opened.  Revealing nothing but open skies.

“Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?!”

Fury closed the hatch before pointing at Loki.

“Ant.”

He then points at the button which would drop Loki down the steel trap.

“Boot.”

Maria looked up from the surveillance as Banner, Stark, Thor and Barton walked into the room.

She looked back down to the screen just as they all took a seat around the table.  Her blood ran cold as she watched as Loki didn’t seem effected by Fury’s words at all.  In fact the man was smiling.

“It is an impressive cage,” he opened his arms and stared around the cell before turning back to Fury.  “Not built for me.”

Fury stiffened at his words and crossed his arms over his chest.

“It was built for something a lot stronger than you.”

Loki placed his hands behind his back and walked around the cell smirking.

“Oh, I’ve heard.”

He paused as he stared up at the surveillance camera. 

“A mindless beast, that makes a play he’ still a man.”

Maria brought her eyes up from the surveillance video to see Bruce staring down at the surveillance feed intently. 

“The woman however,” smirked Loki bringing his eyes from the camera and back to Fury.  “It is she you should have built the cage for.”

Maria eyes snapped to the screen.

“How desperate are you, that you call upon such lost creatures to defend you?”

Fury stepped forward until he was just a few feet from the glass cell.

 **“** How desperate am I? You threaten myworld with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control.”

Fury paused leveling Loki with a glare.

 **“** You talk about peace and you kill because it is fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.”

Loki gave a dark chuckle as he stepped closer to the glass.

 “Ooh.  It burns you to come so close.  To the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is.”

Fury seemed to stiffen at Loki’s words as he stared at Loki for a few seconds. He leveled Loki with another look before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.

“Well, you let me know if _Real Power_ wants a magazine or something,” he called over his shoulder before walking out of the room.

Maria watched as Fury left and turned her head back to the cell.  Loki was back to looking at the camera, his evil smirk gleaming.

Maria let out a heavy sigh as she reached forward and shut the monitor off.  Looking up she assessed the men around her.  Thor was now standing and staring off into the distance.  Steve was still staring at the black screen, his brow furrowed. 

She turned to see Bruce staring at her.

“He really grows on you, doesn't he?” he deadpanned before leaning back in his chair to look around him.

“Loki's gonna drag this out,” said Steve leaning forward and placing his forearms on top of the table.  “So, Thor, what's his play?”

Steve’s question seemed to snap Thor out of his daze as he turned to stare at them.  Concern evident on his face.

“He has an army called the Chitauri,” he said slowly watching as everyone in the room stiffened at his words.

He stepped up to the table and placed his hands down onto it before continuing. 

“They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.”

 **“** An army? From outer space?” asked Steve his eyebrows raising disbelief.

Silence settled over the room as everyone processed Thor’s words.

“So he's building another portal. That's what he needs Erik Selvig for.”

“Selvig?” asked Thor looking at Bruce.

“He's an astrophysicist.”

 **“** He's a friend.”

Bruce’s eyebrows rose at this as nodded at Thor before looking around the room.

“The Iridium, what did they need the Iridium for?”

Tony suddenly jumped from his seat, a spark to his eye. 

“It's a stabilizing agent!”

Bruce looked at Tony with wide eyes, as he stared at him for a few minutes, trying to understand was going with this.  Finally it dawned in him. 

“He is using it as a means to keep the portal open, like it did a SHIELD.”

Tony clapped his hands together and nodded, clearly enjoying the working dynamic between them. 

“Also, it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants.”

Tony then looked from Bruce to Maria.

“The rest of the raw materials, Agent Romanoff can get her hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube.”

Maria who was watching the whole exchange with questioning eyes leaned back in her chair and stared at Tony.

“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?

“Last night,” he answered smugly.  “The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers.” 

He looked around the room to see confusion on everyone’s face except Bruce.

“Am I the only one who did the reading?”

Steve leaned back in his chair to stare at Tony.

“Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?”

Bruce stepped forward.  His facial expression telling everyone he was thinking very deeply about this.

“He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.”

Tony shook his head and looked over at Bruce. 

“Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect.”

Bruce’s eyes went wide in disbelief.

“Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet!”

Tony laughed as he looked around the room and pointed to Bruce.

“Finally, someone who speaks English.”

Maria looked over at Steve to see he was staring between Bruce and Tony with wide eyes before bringing his eyes to Maria.

“Is that what just happened?”

Maria nodded at his words, she too had no idea what the men were talking about. 

Tony walked over to Bruce holding out a hand.

“It's good to finally meet you, Dr. Banner.”

Bruce looked down at the offered hand and shook it, his movements awkward.

“You're work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.”

Maria rolled her eyes at Tony’s words, the man was a disaster. 

“Ugh…thanks,” mumbled Bruce uncomfortably.

The sound of steel toed boots connecting with the ground sounded behind Maria.  She didn’t need to turn around to know that Fury had entered the room.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him.”

Tony looked to Fury at his words.  The two stared at each other for a few moments before Tony nodded.

He turned to Bruce holding an arm out to the door.

“Shall we play, doctor?”

Fury watched as the two men left the room before turning to Thor.

“Thor can you please take Agent Barton and Captain Rogers to discuss a plan of attack for this army.  Any detail you can remember or information you have on them will be much appreciated.”

Thor nodded and looked to the two men in question.

“We will be in conference room A,” said Barton as he led the men out of the room. 

Fury waited until the men left the room before looking over to the crew that were running the helicarrier.

“Clear the room.  I need a moment with the Deputy Director.”

The room quickly cleared.    

Maria kept her back turned to Fury.  She heard him walk over to the conference table and sit down.  The noticeable sound his chair being turned in her directions echoed through the silent room.

“You want to tell me what happened?”

Maria’s shoulders dropped at his question and she sighed loudly.

“A lot has happened.  You will have to be more specific.”

She knew she was delaying the inevitable.

“Let’s start with why you left?  And then you can explain the magic show you put on in Germany.”

Maria sighed again before turning her chair in his direction and staring at him

“Seven days ago something activated inside me.  I can’t describe it.  But it made me feel out of control and violent.  That is why I stayed holed up in my office. “

Fury’s eyebrows rose at this.

“I had noticed your absence on the ship but Coulson assured me that you usually need space after an episode.”

Maria nodded her head.

“I do,” she said, “but this was different.”

Fury leaned back in his chair and stared at her for a few seconds.

“Why did you leave and where did you go?”

Maria shoulders dropped as she spoke.

“Agent Romanoff threatened to break down my door if I didn’t let her in.  Against my better judgement I let her into my office.  I explained to her my violent urges and also that I felt as if something were crawling beneath my skin.”

Maria paused and frowned.

“Whatever Ross put inside of me seems to like Agent Romanoff because she was able to draw ‘it’ out of me.”

Fury stilled in his chair.

“It?”

Maria nodded bringing her arm up for Fury to see.  The skin beneath her wrist was bubbling up.

Fury stared at her wrist for a few moments before looking up to Maria.

“Does this have to do with the magic show in Germany?”

Maria nodded, as she pulled her wrist back.

“I can’t control it.  I don’t even know what happened back there.  Thor said that Loki tried to cast a spell to read my abilities but whatever is inside me stopped it and also lashed out at Loki.”

“I went to Stark.  I wanted him to look at my file.  I thought if anyone could figure out what was going on with me it had to be him.  I asked Phil to come because he knows my backstory.  Thor and Rogers were there in case I lost control and Natasha asked Barton to come because she trusts him.”

“You went to Stark?” Fury repeated as if not believing the words that came out of his mouth.

Maria swallowed but nodded.

Fury nodded at her words before standing up from his chair and walking towards the command center.  He stopped at the end of the controls and stared out into the sky.  He stood there for some time and all Maria could do was watch.

“When are you going to trust me Hill?”

Maria’s eyes widened at his words.  She watched Fury for a few more seconds before standing from her chair and walking towards him, stopping just before the command center.

“It’s not you I don’t trust.  SHIELD is bigger than just you.  It’s everyone else I don’t trust.”

Fury turned.

The Fury tensed at her words but turned on his heel.  He stared at her for a few more moment, his eye boring into her face, clearly reading her.  Finally, after some uncomfortable moments of silence he nodded.  Fury stepped forward and walked towards her, stopping at the end of the steps. Reaching inside his jacket he pulled out a packet, handing it to her. 

Maria stared at him questioningly before reaching forward and taking the packet.

“We pulled some surveillance from the research facility that stored the iridium.   Agent Romanoff and a man that I believe you will recognize broke into the facility while Loki was at the museum.”

Maria’s hand shook a little as she ripped it open pulling out a pack of photos.  The first one was a picture of Natasha.  Maria had to physically stop the cry that wanted to leave her lips as she stared down at the picture.  Natasha’s beautiful green eyes were completely black.  Her face was passive but Maria could read the underlying pain. 

She flipped to the next picture and her blood ran cold.  Her fingers tightened on the picture as her eyes came to rest on Emil Blonsky.  Every second she stared at the picture fueled the fire that burned inside of her.  Maria stared at the photo her fingers clenching at it firmly.  The smirk on the man’s face as he stared at Natasha was her breaking point.  It was as if someone threw a bucket of gasoline on her already fire raged soul.  Maria exploded with anger, the dark red substance burst from her hands and a second later the photo exploded, falling into a pile of ash at her feet.

Maria’s chest heaved out angry breaths as she stared at her hands.  The red substance was seeping back into her skin. 

Maria let out an almost animalistic growl before turning on her heels and walking out of the room. 

Fury didn’t need to ask her where she was going.  He knew.

***

 “There are not many people that can sneak up on me.”

Loki turned with a smile

“But you knew I’d come,” growled out Maria stepping forward to stand in front of the glass.

“Yes,” nodded Loki stepping forward. 

“I want to know what you have done to Agent Romanoff.”

Loki smirked.

“I’d say I’ve expanded her mind.”

Maria growled.

Loki smile only grew.

“And Ross, where does he fall in your schemes?”

“Ahh yes, the General,” said Loki placing his hands behind his back to stare at Maria.  “I admit I was curious when he came to me.  The man is desperate to get his hands on you.  Now I can see why.”

Loki stepped closer to the glass, a mere inches from it as he stared down at Maria.

“What I could do with the power that flows through those veins.”

Maria stiffened at his words but didn’t move as Loki continued to stare down at her. 

 “I can see you your pain Commander.  I can see your hate.  Your thirst for death.  You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something to make up for the horrors that you have committed and that were done to you.  But they are a part of you and they will never go away!

Loki suddenly slams his hand on the cell making Maria flinch.  A look of rage consuming his face.

“I know how much Agent Romanoff means to you.  So no, I won’t touch Romanoff.  Not until I give you to Ross and make her torture you in every way.  Slowly.  Intimately!  In every way that she knows that you fear!  And when she’ll wake, just long enough to see her good work, I’ll split open her skull!”

Outwardly Maria didn’t move a muscle at Loki’s enraged rant.  Inwardly however her heart pounded painfully in her chest and her stomach flipped at his words.    

“You’re a monster.”

Loki let out a deranged laugh.

“No, you are the monster Commander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you guys think? Hopefully this was worth the wait!


	16. Under Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know it has been a long time but I promise I have been writing. I am actually almost done with the next chapter but I just now put the finishing touches on this one. I am going to be honest, this chapter makes me nervous. I hope you guys like it. I know it is a lot to take in. Well...here it is! Can't wait to hear what you guys think!

_“No, you are the monster Commander.”_

Loki worlds followed her throughout the helicarrier.  She walked aimlessly through the halls for an hour trying to get Loki out of her head.  After failing to get his words and his smirk out of her head she found herself walking towards the lab.  An update on the tesseract, and hopefully the whereabouts of Natasha could take her mind of Loki for a while.  

Maria walked into the lab to see Tony with his head in his hands, the glass screen in front him seemed to have some failed algorithm on it. 

“Not going well I take it?” she asked making her presence known to the man.

Tony’s head shot up from his hands and he stared at up at her. 

“Actually the models locked and we’re sweeping for the signature now.  When we get a hit, we’ll have the location within a half a mile.”

Maria nodded as she walked towards, the bags under the man’s eyes was evident. 

“Then why do you look like I just ran you suit through the grinder?”

Tony smirked at her comment but Maria could see that it didn’t reach his eyes.

He flipped the screen towards her to show her what he as working on. 

The files from the black site and the mutation in her DNA was on the screen.  Tony seemed to be trying to figure out the elements in the mutation. 

“I can’t figure this out.”

Maria stared at the images before her for a few seconds, noting Tony’s hand written notes that seemed to be scattered around the files before reaching forward and swiping the information away.  Maria stared at Tony through the glass board.

 “I saw you spoke with Loki.”

Maria raised her eyebrow at him.

“Okay so I hacked the feed to check on you,” shrugged Tony looking away from her uncomfortably. 

Maria shook her head at him.

“Loki is just trying to wind me up,” she sighed out reaching down to pull a chair towards her before taking a seat.  “This is a man who mean’s to start a war, and if I don’t stay focused, he’ll succeed.  I can’t let him get to me.”

Tony nodded at her words agreeing.

“You’re not wrong about Loki.  He does have a jump on us.  But the guy is too cocky for his own good.  It’s going to blow up in his face, and I’m going to be there when it does.”

Maria nodded smirking.

“It will be a pleasure to watch.”

Tony looked through the glass screen with a slight apprehension to his face.

“Or you’ll be suiting up like the rest of us.”

Maria stiffened at his words before shaking her head.

“I don’t get a suit of armor Tony.”

She reached forward and pulled the mutation back onto the glass.  She stared at the mutation for a few seconds before speaking again.

“I’m exposed, like a nerve.  It’s a nightmare.”

Tony reached forward and pushed the files away again to stare at her through the glass.

“You know, I’ve got a cluster of shrapnel, trying every second to crawl its way into my heart,” he paused to tap his arc reactor.  “This little circle of light.  It’s part of me now, not just the armor.  It’s a…terrible privilege.”

Maria shook her head again and pointed to the reactor.

“But you can control it.”

“Because I learned how.”

Maria stood from the chair and turned away from Tony steadying her emotions.

“It’s different…”

“Maria,” interrupted Tony standing from his chair.  The use of her first name had her turning to him.

“I’ve read your file.  I have combed through it with a fine tooth comb.  There is not a line in that report I haven’t read fifty times but every time I read it the same thing keeps jumping out at me.  Do you know what that is?”

His question was greeted with silence and he walked around the screen towards her.

“That much gamma exposure should have killed you and whatever this is,” he paused and flicked the mutation back on the screen.  “It protected you when Loki tried to attack.”

Maria stiffened at his words but he was correct, she should have died that day. 

“I don’t know why I survived,” she whispered softly.  “And I don’t know why it protected me.”

“Maybe it is because you are meant to survive.”

Maria scoffed at the sentiment.

“That’s a nice thought.  But why?  For what reason?”

Tony gave her a meaningful glance and shrugged.

“I guess we’ll find out.”

“You might not like that, Tony.”

Tony shook his head at her words before giving her a meaningful look.

“You just might.”

*******

**_“661 Bravo, please relay your pass code.  What is your hull, over?”_ **

Captain Blonsky looked back to see the Black Widow suiting up, checking her ammunition.  She looked up to meet his gaze.

“It’s International Aircraft Carrier Day on the helicarrier.  Tell them its arms to ammunition.”

Captain Blonsky nodded towards her.

**_“Arms to ammunition, over.”_ **

**_“Copy that.  You are cleared for landing.”_ **

Captain Blonsky nodded to the co-pilot before unbuckling himself from the seat and walking to the back of the helicarrier as the rest of the team starts to suit up and arm themselves.  He walked past the crew  to stand in front of the Black Widow.

Reaching into his jacket he pulled out a picture and handing it to her.

“Your mark,” he nodded to the picture.

The Black Widow too the picture and stared down at it. 

A woman with short black hair in full army tactical gear was staring up at her.  The woman looked very hard.  Agent Romanoff would be a fool to underestimate this woman.  Even in the picture she could tell this woman was deadly. 

She stared down at the picture and her breath caught in her throat as she stared at the woman’s bright blue eyes.  They were beautiful but yet so familiar? 

Pain radiated through her mind.  She gasped reaching forward and grabbing her head. 

_Those familiar blue eyes were looking at her but they were filled with tears._

_“My eyes…there blue,” croaked out the woman the emotion in her voice forcing her to choke on her words._

_“They are…they are so blue it is as if you have your own sky in them.  I would choose that sky over a sunset any day.”_

_The woman let out a choked sob at her words as she leaned heavily into her hand._

_“Don’t stop touching me,” begged the woman._

_“I won’t.  I don’t think I could stop if I tried.”_

“Agent Romanoff,” a voice pulled her out of her train of thoughts.

She looked up to see Captain Blonsky eyeing her questioningly.

Taking a steady breath, she shook her head trying to get the smiling woman with bright blue eyes out of her head.

“Give me a second,” she grounded out pushing the hand from her shoulder.

She turned away from her him and walked a few steps away, keeping her back to the Captain.  She stared down at the picture of the woman in her hand.  The same woman from her vision…or was it her memories…was staring up at her. 

Her mark. 

Her mission.

“You good?” questioned Captain Blonsky again to her back.

She stiffened at his words.  Taking in a deep breath she pushed her emotions to the back of her mind, where they belonged.  Emotions were for the weak.  Emotions got you killed.  A lack of them made killing a whole lot easier. 

She stared down at the picture of her mark one last time, she knew this woman.  But it made no difference.   The Black Widow had her mission and she would succeed.

Crumbling the photo up in her hand before letting it fall to the ground she turned to Captain Blonsky. 

“We’re good.”

  
*******

Tony and Maria sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.  Tony went back to work and let Maria process his words

“Stark, what are you doing?”

Fury’s voice had both Tony and Maria’s turning the direction of his voice.  Fury was entering the lab with Banner, Thor, Rogers and Barton his heels.

“There are a lot of things I am doing Fury, you will have to be more specific.”

Fury leveled him with a glare.

“Okay, how about the decryption programmer you uploaded to break into all SHIELD’s secure files.”

Tony’s eyes widened at Fury’s words and he actively avoided Maria’s heated stare.

“Aww…that.”

“Yes, that,” glared Fury crossing his arms over his chest, clearly not impressed in the slightest.

Tony rolled his eyes at Fury’s actions before reaching forward and taping the screen for a few moment, reading a file before looking back up to Fury.

“What is Phase 2?”

“You read the file Stark, you know what Phase 2 is,” glared Fury. 

“So you are not going to deny that SHIELD was using the Tesseract to make weapons?”

Fury didn’t answer his question as Banner walked into to the screen to inspect the report before turning on Maria.

“Did you know about this?”

Maria froze at the barely suppressed rage in his voice.  The darkness within her stirred almost as if it was warning her that Banner was losing control.

“You want to think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?”

He scoffed at her words, recognizing that she didn’t answer his question.

“I was in Calcutta, I was pretty well removed.”

Maria shook her head at his words before standing from the chair. 

“This is exactly what Loki wants.  He is manipulating you.”

“And you’ve been doing what exactly?”

It was Maria’s turn to scoff.

“You didn’t come here because I batted my eyelashes at you Dr. Banner.”

Banner cleared his throat a little uncomfortably at her words before turning back to the screen, pointing at the screen that displayed the Phase 2 program.

“I’m not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy.  I’d like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction.”

Maria opened her mouth to retort but Fury stepped between them.

“Because of him,” he answered Banner’s question as he pointed at Thor.

Thor looked at Fury incredulously.                                                                                 

“Me?”

Fury nodded before turning to Banner and Tony.

“Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, outgunned.”

Thor stepped towards Fury confusion still on his face.

 **“** My people want nothing but peace with your planet.”

Fury shook his head at Thor’s words, “but you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled.

“Like you controlled the cube?” said Rogers speaking up for the first time.  His face letting everyone know he was not happy with what he was learning about SHIELD.

 **“** You're work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war,” said Thor.

“A higher form?” asked Rogers disbelief evident in his voice.

Fury rounded on Thor.

“You forced our hand. We had to come up with something.”

Tony let out a fake laugh at that.

“A nuclear deterrent. Because that always calms everything right down.”

Fury leveled him with a look.

“Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?”

*******

The ramp to the Quinjet opens and Captain Blonksy walks to the end of the hanger.  He is holding a sniper rifle and gets down on his knee to take aim.  Pulling the trigger a grenade triggered ammo shoots from the barrel, landing on target.

Getting back to his feet he looks down at the tablet strapped to his arm.   He pressed a few buttons on the tablet before looking up.

“Three minutes until detonation.”

*******

“I thought humans were more evolved than this,” exclaimed Thor looking around the room not impressed with this conversation.   “You speak of control, yet you court chaos.”

 **“** It's his M.O., isn't it?” exclaimed Banner before looking around the room at all of them.  “I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're... we're a time-bomb.”

Fury stiffened at Banner’s words and approached the man cautiously.

“You need to step away.”

Fury turned to Maria.

“Commander Hill, would you escort Dr. Banner back to his...”

Banner let out a fake laugh at is words and pointed the surveillance video of Loki. 

“Where? You already rented my room.”

Fury sighed.

 **“** The cell was just in case...”

 **“** In case you needed to kill me,” interrupted Banner glaring at Fury.  “But you can't! I know! I tried!”

The silence in the room was stifling as everyone stared at Banner with wide eyes at his statement.

Banner shifted uncomfortably under everyone’s stare but spoke.

“I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out! So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!”

Banner suddenly was staring at Maria, the look he was giving her was unnerving.

“You want to know my secret, Commander? You want to know how I stay calm?”

Maria stepping towards him cautiously, ignoring the nervous glances around her. 

“I already know your secret Dr. Banner.”

Banner gave her an incredulous look.

“You’re always angry,” said Maria softly stepping up to Bruce staring him in the eye.  “There is this rage…a despair and hatred that lives and breathes under your skin.  I know because it lives within me too.  There’s no sanity to it, no gentleness.  We are monsters.  We fight every day, every hour, _every minute_ to keep our monsters locked away.  There is no secret.  There is no coping.  There is no calm.  There is only anger.”

“We are always angry,” said Maria stressing every word. 

Banner grimaced at Maria’s words and tried to look away from her.

“Look at me Bruce,” said Maria softly waiting for him to turn to her before continuing. 

“We can’t give into it,” stressed Maria.  “Loki is using our anger and our rage against us.  He is manipulating us.  He wants our monsters to break loose, so that there will be accounting for what we do.”

“But…” paused Maria bring her eyes to the surveillance screen which showed Loki walking around his cell.  “He is scared.  I can see it.  He knows we are a threat and he wants us to lose control, so that he can pull us apart.”

She turned from the surveillance then back to Banner.

“Don’t give him what he wants.”

Maria and Banner stared at each other for a few moments.  After a couple minutes of very uncomfortable silence Banner finally nodded. 

He was still tense but there was no longer a crazed look to his eyes.

The computer beeped at the end of the room and Banner turned to stare at it. 

“Sorry, kids.  You don’t get to see my little party trick after all,” he said while walking towards the computer.

Banner stared at the computer lowering his glasses down his nose, his eyes shooting wide at what he was reading.

“What is it?” asked Maria stepping towards his and then looking down at the screen. 

“Son of a bitch…”  she started.

Suddenly an enormous explosion rocked the helicarrier.  The glass in the lab exploded all around them and orange flames punched its way through the floor below Maria.  A hole opened below Maria feet and she fell down a level, crashing onto her back as a large metal beam fell over her legs, crushing them. 

Maria screamed out in pain at the feeling of both her legs breaking at the weight of the beam.  Tears filled her eyes and she clenched her teeth tightly, fighting to stay conscious through the pain.

The sound of an equally pained grunt sounded to her left.  She turned her head to see Banner curled up in a ball groaning on the ground.  In the barely lit room Maria could see the barely suppressed rage on the man’s face. 

“Banner,” grunted out Maria sitting up, grimacing at the pain in her chest.  A few ribs seem to be broken but Maria could feel them already beginning to heel.  Her legs however still throbbed, almost as if they couldn’t heal until the weight was off of them.

“Fight it Banner,” called out Maria.  “Remember this is exactly what Loki wants.”

The sound of footsteps to her right had Maria looking away from Banner.  Two SHIELD agents were coming down the hallways, their eyes on her.  The quickened their pace and were about ten feet from her when Banner’s pained grunts started turning into snarls.

Maria’s eyes shot wide at the sound as she turned back to stare at Banner.  Even from this distance she could see the change in the man.  He was growing.

“Fuck,” groaned out Maria before turning to the Agents and waving them off. 

The Agents hesitated but she waived them off again.

“Get out of here,” she growled out, just as a roar echoed through the room.

The Agents eyes went wide at the sound and they slowly started to back out of the room. 

Maria watched as the Agents backed down the hallway.  Her enhanced hearing picked up their words as they backed back around the corner.

**_“The Commander is pinned down in the lower level.  The Hulk is active.  I repeat.  The Hulk is active.”_ **

Maria turned back to Banner just as another explosion rocked the helicarrier.  The small dim light that allowed Maria to see Banner’s change suddenly went out, encompassing the room in total darkness.

Maria could hear Banner struggling at the other side of the room and Maria knew she was running out of time.  Reaching down she grabbed the beam and pulled up with all her might.  Her arms shook as she pulled up.  The sharp pain that shot up from her broken legs as the beam shook against them had her crying out.  The beam wouldn’t budge, it was too heavy.   

Suddenly Banner…no the Hulk lets out a roar of rage unlike anything Maria has ever heard.  It was so primal.  Inhuman.   

The roar echoing in her ears was a like a shot of adrenaline, as she gave one last effort to lift the beam.  She groaned as she lifted the beam with all her might.  The beam shook against her legs for a few seconds but she was able to lift it a couple inches off of her legs.  She quickly moved her legs out from beneath it, choking back a cry at the pain that flared from them before letting the beam crash back to the ground. 

The beam crashing to the ground echoed through the room as Maria crawled over to the wall and placed her back against it.  She could feel her legs healing, the pain was subsiding but she could also hear the grunts of a very angry Hulk getting closer to her. 

Steeling her nerves Maria closed her eyes and thought of her plan of action. 

She could run.  She may be able to out run the Hulk.  He was also big.  She could use it to her advantage in the tight corridors of the lower level.  But, did she want to really enrage the beast and then let it run around the helicarrier chasing her.  Thinking of the Agents she could put in danger Maria quickly scratched that idea.

She could hear the Hulk’s footsteps approach.  With every step he let out a feral grunt.  He knew exactly where Maria was. 

The pains in Maria’s legs were gone, finally.  She shot to her feet just as the Hulk rounded the corner, his eyes on her. 

She knew the Hulk was large, after all, she had read the reports on him.  But as the Hulk advanced on her, even in the hardly discernible shadowy room, his overwhelming height and size had a chill run ran down Maria’s spine.  Something was on fire above her, casting an almost orange glow about eight feet around her.  The shadow of the Hulk paused just outside the light.  His green eyes glowed in the dark as they stared at Maria.  

Maria stared deeply at the outline of the Hulk.  Banner was nowhere to be found in those savage green eyes.  Even from this distance Maria could see the primal, unstoppable rage that flowed from the Hulk.  It was almost like a…feral rage. 

Feral Rage. 

Maria eyes shot wide at her train of thought.

If the Hulk’s powers descend from a feral rage then mentally, he would become more animal than a man. 

“More animal than man,” she mumbled to herself. 

Suddenly, the Hulk stepped into the light.   He moved with a belied speed, slow and steady.  His breaths were coming out so ragged that his chest and shoulders heaved with each breath.  Green muscles, clenched and unclenched at the rage that seemed to flow through his body. 

Maria steeled her nerves as she stared at his approach. 

The Hulk continued his slow walk, stopping only a couple feet from Maria. 

Maria froze as he stopped before her.  The idea that ran through her head moments prior seemed crazy now.  If she failed, it would no doubt result in her death.  But unfortunately, it was all she had. 

In order for this to work she needed to meet his eyes, which meant the glasses needed to go. 

Maria slowly brought her hand up to her glasses.  The Hulk stiffened at her movement’s and growled at her, his nose twitching in anger.  Maria didn’t stop though, she couldn’t.  She kept moving forward, slowly, making sure to not make any sudden movements until her finger were on the temple of her glasses.  She pushed them in slowly.  The audible click that sounded from them caused the Hulk to growl again, this time louder. 

Maria took a steady breath through her nose, forcing her body to not react to the growl.  She moved her hand again, slowly, to the other side of her glasses.  The Hulk eyes watched her movement, his green eyes almost daring her to move against him.  She pushed the temple of her glasses in again, the click this time only earning a twitch of anger on the Hulk’s face. 

She gripped the temple of her glasses and slowly pulled them down her face.  The Hulk started growling and snarling at every centimeter the glasses traveled down her face.  Maria closed her eyes at the warm powerful breath on her face but continued her movements until the glasses were off her face.  She slowly moved her arm, glasses in hand back to her side.

With her eyes closed her other senses only increased.  The sound of the Hulk’s ragged breaths and his muscles clenching sounded in her ears.  The feeling of his hot breath on her face only intensified with every second her eyes were closed.  All of it was unnerving.  She felt weak.  She felt exposed.

But the uncomfortable feeling of being so close to the Hulk and death was nothing compared to what was to come next.  What she was about to do set her on edge far beyond anything she had ever felt before. 

Maria took in a deep breath, steadying her nerves before reaching deep within herself.  She followed the darkness unit she reached it.  Maria almost lost her breath at the sight before her.  There in front of her was her monster.  The Aether.

It wasn’t in form of an actual monster.  Instead it took on an almost dark red, violent looking liquid.  It was caged and but it was fighting against the bars.  It let out a hiss and ear piercing scream as it strained towards its freedom. 

Deep within her mind Maria stepped closer to it.  The Aether seemed to recognize her presence and stilled in its cage.  It floated in the middle of the cage almost as if it were assessing her as deeply as she was assessing it. 

Maria stepped even closer towards the cage now.  The aura around the cage causing her shiver as darkness washed over her.  She reached forward with a shaky hand and let her fingertips graze over door of the cage.  She brought her gaze down from her Aether to stare at her fingertips as they halted over the lock.  She promised after escaping from Ross that she would never let it out but here she was shaky fingers on the lock about to set it free.

_“That monster that you keep locked inside you, she was once an angel.  General Ross took her from the light and turned her into something hungry, something dark.  Call her a monster, and soon other people will start call her monster as well.  Everyone will start treating her like a monster, and after a while, she will start believing it herself.  And when she breaks free, she will act like one.”_

Phil’s words echoed in her mind as she stared up from her shaky hand to the Aether in the cage.  It was still floating in place, almost as if it was just as uncertain about Maria’s plan as she was. 

_“But remember what she once was.  Just because she is dark doesn’t mean she is not good.  She may no longer be light, but that doesn’t mean she is dark either.  She embraces both worlds equally.  She is a Black Angel.  Let her out, you might be surprised at what you find.”_

A roar echoed in her mind, reminding her that time was running out and the Hulk was still very much in front of her. 

Maria’s hand stopped shaking as she stared at her monster. 

“I am letting you out,” she paused as the Aether moved closer to the door, as if it recognized her words.  A shiver went down Maria’s spine as it moved closer, the liquid pausing just inches from the door. 

“I am letting you out,” repeated Maria staring down at her hand on the door then back up to the Aether.  “But understand this, you will not control me!” she growled.

The liquid screeched at her through the bars at her and Maria stiffened before hissing back.

“I will not become the monster Ross intended to me.  I will not let that happen.  I will kill myself before I let you take control of me and you know I will.  You chose me as your vessel.  If you want to stay within me…You. Will. Not. Control. Me.”

The Aether went silent at her words. 

Maria brought her gaze back down to her hand on the door as Thor’s words from a few days ago washed over her. 

_“Do not doubt yourself Maria Hill, the Aether will not control you.  Mjolnir would not have deemed you worthy if it could.  If you can wield the hammer, then you can control the Aether.”_

Maria turned the knob and opened the door, stepping back a few feet as the door swung open.

The Aether moved out of the cage slowly.  Tendrils floated out towards her, making an eerie screeching sound as it shifts around her.  The Aether gathered around Maria’s body before picking her up off the ground.  It shifts around her picking her up into the air, stopping as she hovered five feet in the air. 

Maria stared at the Aether with wide eyes at it moved around her body.  The substance slowly started to flow into her and Maria gasped at the power that flowed through her body.  Within seconds the Aether was fully absorbed into her body and Maria fell to the ground.

She braced herself for the impact, falling to a kneeling position and bracing herself with her arms out in front of her.  Maria’s head was staring down at the ground, her breathing coming out in ragged breaths as she fought to control the darkness that now raged inside of her.

It felt like it did before, the darkness just crawling at the surface of her skin but now it was multiplied in strength.  It took everything Maria had to keep the darkness from consuming her.  She closed eyes at fought against it, making sure to keep it just below the surface but still close enough to access its power.  Slowly her body began easier to control, her breathing settled and with it so did the darkness. 

Bringing her head up slowly as she stared at the empty cage, the Aether inside of her stirred at the sight. 

There was no turning back now.

Maria eyes snapped open and she was instantly greeted with a ferocious roar from the Hulk and a large green fist flying towards her face. 

She quickly brought her arm up and caught the large green fist with her hand, stopping it in its tracks.  Maria arm shook at the power behind the fist but her arm held fast.  Her small hand was pressing up against just one knuckle of the Hulk’s fist but neither moved.

Maria brought her gaze from their hands to the Hulks face.  He was staring at his fist confusion evident on his face before bringing his gaze back to her.  His eyes widened again, most likely at the state of her eyes, which were no doubt glowing black, before snarling in rage at being thwarted.  He moved to swing his other hand but Maria quickly brought her other hand up and the swing just like the last one. 

Now both Maria’s and the Hulk’s hands were connected, both of their arms were shaking as they both fought to gain control but neither one budging. 

The Hulk stared at Maria and roared in frustration. 

The two very powerful “monsters” clashed as they two stood toe to toe, staring at each other, each one refusing to yield.  

The Hulk’s eyes narrowed at Maria and Maria instantly knew she had him exactly where she wanted.  If the Hulk was more animal then man, then perhaps his displays of strength were because he was the supreme dominant.  There was never anyone who could match his strength or power, until now, and as the Hulk stared at the hands he seemed to recognize this as well.

This battle was no longer just a fight, but rather an establishment of dominance.  

“Listen to me now,” growled out Maria putting as much power into her voice as possible.  Her voice was almost was unrecognizable as it took on a deeper more haunting quality. 

Her words had the Hulk snarling at her and fighting against her hold but his eyes were on her. 

The Aether wanted to lash out at the Hulk but Maria quickly shut it down.  A physical fight would not bode well for either of them.  This needed to be a battle of wills.

Maria bared her teeth at the Hulk as she pushed against the Hulk’s hands with all her might. She could feel the Hulks arms shake in exertion. The Hulk’s eyes went wide at the feeling his arms being pushed back.    

“Listen to me now,” repeated Maria brining the Hulk’s gaze back to her.

“I will not allow you to do this.  You will not harm one person on this ship,” she said, it was an order.  “Gain control of yourself or I will do it for you.”

The claiming was absolute, the tone of her voice almost daring him to fight.

The Hulk’s eyes widened at her words, perhaps not understanding her actual words but understanding the force and power behind them.  The Hulks arms were almost pushed all the way back into his chest now.   The Hulk let out a cry of frustration and tried to push back against her hold with one last effort. 

She didn’t budge.

The Hulk stopped pushing against her hands and closed his eyes.  His face took on an almost pained expression as he stared down at her before lowering his gaze to the ground and bearing his neck to Maria.

Maria’s eyes shot wide at the action.

“I am not asking you to submit to me…” Maria paused as she stared up at him before suddenly letting her hands drop from the Hulks hand. 

The Hulk’s hands flew forward and crashed into the wall behind her.  The Hulk was now towering over, his head less than a foot away from hers as stared at her in confusion. 

Maria had won.  She could have claimed dominance over him.

“I am not Ross,” whispered Maria up to him, her voice no longer strong and powerful but rather soft and broken.  She stared up at the Hulk for a few moments.

“I have no desire to control you.  All I desire is that you control yourself. ”

She stared at the Hulk for a few moments before turning her head and offering her neck to him.  She really honestly didn’t know what she was doing.  Baring a neck to a person could be conveyed as submitting but it could mean something else entirely to the Hulk.  Whatever this action was to the Hulk it must be important him and she hoped that by copying his movement she would convey to him that she wanted him as an equal.  She wanted him to trust her.  

Out of the corner her eye she saw the Hulk’s eyes widen at the action.  He stared at her, confusion and apprehension evident in his eyes.  He continued to stare at Maria for a few seconds before raising his hand.

Maria closed her eyes at the movement.  She knew there was a possibility that this wouldn’t work.  Her guard was down.  She could not stop an attack from this position.  He could easily snap her neck with one blow.

She braced herself for whatever happens next, whether it is her death or something else entirely.

Maria’s eyes shot wide at the feeling of a very large finger gently touching her neck then dragging down to end at her collar bone.  The touch quickly vanished and Maria turned her head back to the Hulk. 

There was now softness to his green eyes as he stared down at her.  He stared down at her for a few moments before turning his head to the side again, offering his neck to her again, this time willingly.

Maria’s eyes shot wide at this.

“I don’t want to control you…”

“No,” grunted out the Hulk turning his towards her and shaking his head at her.

Maria’s eyes widened at the words.  The Hulk just spoke.  He spoke to her.  His voice was archaic but he spoke. 

“Respect,” he grunted out before baring his neck to her again.

Maria’s eyes widened at this.  

Maria stared at the offered neck and reached a shaky hand to the Hulk’s large throat.  She copied the Hulk’s prior movements and dragged two fingers from the side of his neck and down to his collar bone before pulling back.

The Hulk brought his gaze back to her.  The two stared each other for a few silent moments.  The powerful moment between the two was not lost on either one of them. 

Suddenly, the Hulk closed his eyes and started to stumble backwards, as if he was losing control over his limbs.

Maria’s eyes shot wide as he stumbled away from her, falling into a wall.  She stepped forward concerned but that is when she noticed the way he seemed be getting smaller.  Within a matter of seconds he was half his size and a few seconds later the green skin started to turn back to pale before he fell to the ground.

Maria walked forward concerned as the Hulk was nowhere to be found and instead Banner was now curled up on the ground, his muscles tensing in a painful manner and he was shaking. 

“Bruce,” said Maria softly crouching down next to the man but also giving him space.

Bruce shook on the ground a few moments, trying to gain control of his body.  Finally his body stilled and he stared up at Maria, fear and confusion evident in his eyes.

“Did I hurt anyone?”

The vulnerability in his voice had Maria at a loss for breath.  The Dèjá vu, of the moment was like a punch to the chest.  Maria always asks the same thing when she has an attack. 

“No,” said Maria softly down to him.  “The “big guy” and I…we reached an understanding.”

Banner looked up at her with wide disbelieving eyes.

“What…” he started.

**_“Does anyone copy!”_ **

The com that had fallen from her ear interrupted him. 

Maria quickly moved the com to her ear just as Ruddy’s voice sounded again.

**_“It’s Romanoff.  She just took out our systems.  She is heading for the cell.  Does anybody copy?”_ **

Maria froze at his words. 

Natasha was on the helicarrier.  She was heading towards Loki.  She had to stop her and then somehow bring her back. 

Maria ignored Bruce’s questioning glances as she moved up to press her coms.

**_“This is Commander Hill.  I copy. I am heading toward the cell now.  I will cut her off before she reaches it.”_ **

Maria went to walk move down the hallway but remembered Banner and turned towards him.

“Why don’t you stay down here until things settle down?  I promise I will explain everything when I get back okay?”

Bruce stared at her for a few moments, most likely seeing the desperation on her face before nodding. 

Maria gave him a nod before turning and running down the hallway, snapping her glasses back on her face as she went. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you guys think? I was nervous about the Maria/Hulk scene. I hope I did it justice and you guys like where I took it. Can't wait to hear what you guys think!


	17. Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay thank you so much for the comments on the last chapter! I didn't get too many comments so I am hoping it was just a mediocre chapter and didn't warrant a comment over losing some of my readers. I truly enjoy reading each and everyone of your comments. Well here is chapter 17. It is pretty long, almost 9,000 words. I hope you enjoy it and I can't wait to hear what you think!

Maria ran towards the cell.  She rounded the last corner only to freeze in her movements.  A gun was pointed at her chest.  She moved with lightning fast speed and knocked the gun away from her body just as it fired.  Reaching forward she grabbed her assailants wrist and turned it, almost to the point of breaking forcing the gun to drop from their hands.

The small cry that left her assailants lips at the force of the move however had Maria letting go of their arm, almost as if they cry had burned her.  

Maria stepped back and put some distance between herself and the small red headed assassin whom was now cradling her arm to her body.  The red head brought her eyes from her injured arm to Maria.

Maria heart broke at the look in Natasha’s eyes.  In those black eyes there was no trace of the Natasha she had come to care deeply for.  Her eyes were narrowed, rigid, cold and hard.  It was in that moment that Maria realized that “her Natasha” was far away.  No, this wasn’t Natasha Romanoff…she was someone else entirely, she is Natalia Alianovna Romanova.

“Nat…” started Maria but was instantly cut off as Natasha charged at her. 

Maria had sparred with Natasha too many times to count now.  She had a pretty good understanding of how she fought but after taking six or maybe eight punches and kicks to all parts of her body she quickly realized that this was different.  This wasn’t just a spar.  This was a battle…a battle that Natasha clearly had the upper hand at.

The Aether coiled just below Maria’s skin, almost as it was begging her to let it out.  Maria gritted her teeth as a well-placed kick that slipped under her defenses connected with her ribs, breaking them under the force.  The Aether screamed out in her mind at this, healing her ribs within seconds but still screaming out in frustration. 

Maria forced the Aether from reacting while quickly ducking her head and spinning to the right, putting some distance between herself and Natasha.  Maria gasped for breath as she stared at the woman across from her.  Natasha was still in her fighting stance, her cold calculating eyes staring at Maria, looking for an opening in her defenses.

Maria stared at Natasha for a few moments bringing her hands down from their fighting stance and letting them limply hang at her side.

“I’m not going to fight you Natasha.”

Natasha eyes widened at Maria’s words and lack of defense.  She looked at Maria questioningly before snarling and lashing out.  Natasha landed a quick combo to Maria’s face and a couple kicks to her ribs.  Maria didn’t budge and this seemed to only fuel Natasha’s anger further as she pulled back landed a powerful blow to Maria’s face. 

Maria cried out at the feeling of her cheek bone breaking as the force of the blow had her to her knees.  Maria could feel blood trickle down her face as a cut opened from the force of the punch.  Maria stared at the ground, blinking back the tears as she felt the overwhelming pain in her cheek start to fade as it healed. 

“Fight back,” growled Natasha above her.

Maria didn’t look up at Natasha, instead she shook her head.

“No.”

A hard kick connected with her kidney taking Maria down the ground. 

“Fight me!”

A kick to the stomach had Maria gasping for breath.  The force of the kick had Maria on her back, staring up at the ceiling.  The pain in her body sending her mind reeling.  The Aether couldn’t keep up with her injuries.

“I will not fight you Natasha.”

The redhead growled as she stepped up to stare down at Maria.  Natasha’s eyes were no longer filled with a deadly glint but rather with confusion and frustration.

“I am your enemy.  Why do you refuse to fight back?”

Maria’s breath was finally under control.  She rolled to her side, groaning at the pain that flared through her body as she tried to push herself up, her arms shaking.  Maria was back to her knees as she stared up at Natasha.

“I can never look at you as an enemy Natasha.”

Natasha stared at Maria as if she had lost her mind.

“So you would let me hurt you, and take you to General Ross rather than defend yourself?”

Maria winced at Natasha’s words but nodded.

“Yes.”

Natasha stared down at her.  Her mask was firmly in place but Maria could see the emotions swirling in those black eyes. 

“Why?”

Her voice cracked at the question.

“Because I love you.”

Natasha’s eyes shot wide at this and she growled out in frustration.

“Love is for fools.  You are a fool.”

Maria heart clenched at Natasha’s words but she let out a bitter laugh.

“It is,” nodded Maria, “but it doesn’t change the fact that I love you.”

Maria struggled to her feet.  The fact that Natasha let her up was a victory in its own.  Making sure to keep a safe distance away from the woman she spoke again.

“I love you,” said Maria her voice barely above a whisper.  “I am who I am because of you.  I would not be here without you.”

Natasha’s eyes shot wide at Maria’s words.  Even from a five foot distance Maria could see Natasha was struggling to comprehend Maria’s words, but the notable spark of green in the once black eyes kept Maria pushing forward.

"I'm not good enough for you. But no one is.  Most people, good or bad, have limits to what they would do, even for someone they love.”

Maria paused as she took a step forward, greenish black eyes tracking her movement but not attacking.

“I have no limit Natasha.   The things that were done to me, the things I have seen…they don’t leave room for a God, or faith in anything…except you.”

She took another step forward. 

“You’re my religion”

She took another step forward.

“You’re my salvation.”

One last step and Maria was now just inches from Natasha.   Maria raised a shaky hand slowly not wanting to startle Natasha.  Dark green eyes tracked her hand before it came to rest on her face.

 “You saved me,” whispered Maria.

Maria watched as Natasha’s eyes closed and she leant into the touch. She paused, waiting with a baited breath as she stared at Natasha, her eyes still closed and leaning into Maria’s hand.   Maria watched as Natasha’s eyes clenched painfully shut.

“I had to…,” croaked out Natasha. 

Natasha paused and Maria could see that Natasha was struggling for the words. 

Suddenly Natasha’s eyes snapped open and Maria heart leapt at the sight of tear filled bright green eyes staring up at her.

“I had to so you could save me back.”

As soon as the words left Natasha’s mouth Maria reached forward and gripped Natasha’s hip and pulled her into her body.  Natasha went forward willingly, wrapping her arms around Maria and burying her face into Maria’s neck.  Maria held back the tears that wanted to spill from her eyes as she ran her fingers through Natasha’s hair. 

“I love you too,” was mumbled into Maria’s neck and the little self-control she had over her tears was gone.  Tears streaked down her face at Natasha’s words as she tightened her grip on the woman in her arms. 

Having Natasha in her arms was like coming home.  There was something about holding her, close enough to feel her heart beat against Maria’s chest that was so beautiful, so safe, and so warm.  It was a feeling that only Natasha could produce. 

In this instance however, it seemed to be heightened.  Maria’s heart was beating painfully against her chest, almost as if it were trying to break out to touch Natasha’s.  Maria knew it was because she never thought she would have Natasha like this again. 

Suddenly Natasha stiffened in Maria’s arms and before Maria could even register what was happening she violently pulled away from Maria.

She was breathing deeply staring at Maria with wide panicked eyes.  Maria could see her eyes were slowly darkening.

“He is trying to take control again…” gasped Natasha clenching her fists at her side as her face took on this pained expression.  She was clearly struggling to for control but the rapid darkness in her eyes told Maria that she was fighting a losing battle.

“Maria…” gasped out Natasha staring at Maria with panicky eyes.  “Don’t let him control me again.”

Maria stepped forward quickly just as Natasha’s eyes turned black.  Cold, black eyes were staring at her.

“I’m sorry,” whispered Maria.

Black eyes stared at her with confusion before a registering the fast approaching fist.  It was too late to block.  Black eyes shot wide just as nasty right hook connected with Natasha’s temple knocking her out cold. 

*******

Phil ran to the cell with a Phase 2 gun in hand.  He didn’t even know how this thing worked but hoped it just required the pull of a trigger.  Loki was powerful.  He would need this in order to keep him from escaping. 

He entered the cell doorway to see Thor standing in the middle the cell staring down at open sky.

“The humans think us immortal.  Should we test that?”

Phil turned at the voice to see Loki staring down at the control panel, an evil grin firmly in place.

Phil moved quickly, taking aim at Loki before making his presence known.

“Move away, please.”

Loki looked up from the control panel, surprise evident on his face before he slowly stepped back from the control panel.  His eyes narrowed at the weapon pointed at him. 

Phil smirked before nodding down to the gun. 

“You like this?  We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer.  Even I don’t know what it does.”

Phil paused placing his finger on the trigger.  The weapon seemed to recognize his touch and activated, glowing bright orange.

“Do you wanna find out?” asked Phil, almost daring Loki to move.

The nervous look in Loki’s eye as he stared down at the weapon made Phil smirk.  Finally, he had the upper hand. 

Phil’s heart dropped quickly as Loki brought his gaze up from the weapon to meet Phil’s gaze.  Something was wrong here.  There was a glint to Loki’s eye and his menacing grin was back in place.  Phil’s finger twitched on the trigger just as Loki disappeared in front of him. 

Phil stared at the now empty spot in confusion.  A sound at his back him had him moving to turn…

Phil let out cry of pain as he stared down at his chest.  His eyes widened at the sight of Loki’s pointed end of his scepter sticking out from his chest.  He barely registered Thor’s cry of “No!” before the scepter was ripped back from his chest.  He felt Loki grab his jacket firmly and his feet no longer touched the ground.  He sailed through the air to crash against the wall. 

He grunted as he sat into a sitting position against the wall.  Blood was pooling from his chest as he struggled to breathe.

He looked over to the see Loki back at the control panel before staring back at Thor. 

Thor was staring at him with pained expression, his hand up against the glass.  

“I am truly sorry my friend,” said Thor softly before turning to Loki.  His face transforming from upset to angry quickly.

“She will kill you for this,” growled out Thor glaring at Loki.

Loki laughed at Thor’s words.

“She can try brother,” and with that he pushed the button and the cell, with Thor fell from the helicarrier.

Phil watched as Loki stared at the opening in the helicarrier as it closed behind the fallen cell.  Taking advantage of Loki’s lack of attention he reached forward and grabbed the Phase 2 weapon, laying it across his lap.

Loki turned from the control panel and began to walk out of the room.

“You’re…gonna lose,” gasped out Phil the pain in his chest was excruciating and he could feel blood staring to trickle down his chin.

Loki paused in the door way registering his words before turning.

“Am I?” he asked smiling down at him.

Phil nodded, wincing in pain.

“It’s in your nature.”

Anger flashed into Loki’s eyes as he stepped closer to Phil.

“Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky.”  Loki paused to stare down at the large bleeding wound, smirking.  “You will die and your fearless leader will lose her mind to the madness.  Where is my disadvantage?”

Phil shook his head at Loki’s words.

“The Avengers will assemble against you and she will kill you for this.”

Loki shifted slightly at Phil’s words but still kept his smirk in place.

“I know what it is in her veins Agent Coulson.  Your death will be just the push it needs to consume her.”

Phil shook his head.

“She won’t let it…” he paused fighting to stay conscious through the pain.  “You underestimate her just like you underestimate the human race…There is no throne…There is no version where you come out on top.”

Phil’s breathing was coming out more ragged now as black dots started block his vision.

“Maybe your army comes and maybe it’s too much for us…but it’s all on you.  Because if we can’t protect the earth…you can be damned sure we’ll…avenge it.”

Loki snarled.

“I don’t think…”

Phil pulled the trigger of the Phase 2 weapon.  A bright orange light shot out of weapon and collided with Loki’s chest, knocking him back with enough force that he was thrown through a metal wall.

Phil stared at the hole in the wall, seeing no sign of Loki coming back through he brought his gaze down at the weapon.

“So that’s…what it does.”

*******

Maria was kneeling by Natasha’s body, watching the steady rise and fall of the woman’s chest.

“Jesus Hill.”

Maria stared up at the voice to see Barton standing a few feet away from her, his eyes trained on an unconscious Natasha.

Maria grimaced at his words as she reached forward and scooped Natasha into her arms before standing. 

“Loki’s control on her mind is strong.  I got him out but he tried to take control again.  She didn’t leave me a choice.”

Barton approached them staring at Natasha with concern, his eyes narrowing on the already bruised temple.

“What did you do to her?”

“I coldcocked her,” answered Maria avoiding Barton’s heated gaze as she stared down at Natasha with a frown. 

She and Barton stood silently for a few moments before Barton finally broke the silence.

“She is going to be pissed you got one over on her when she wakes up.”

Maria let out a dark laugh at that.

“Yes, I imagine she will get even with me somehow.”

*******

Fury ran into the cell.  Agent Ruddy was alerting him that the cell was activated and released.  He reached the cell and confirmed Ruddy’s alert, the cell was gone.  Fury stared at the empty cell, his mind reeling at the thought of Loki getting off the helicarrier.

The sound of pained breathing however snapped Fury out of his train of thought.  He turned in the sounds direction and what he saw had his eye shooting wide.  He moved quickly and dropped to Coulson’s side.  Reaching forward be moved the large Phase 2 weapon off of Coulson’s lap before reaching forward and putting pressure on the large wound.

“Sorry…boss,” gasped out Coulson shutting his eyes at the pressure.  “They got rabbited.”

Fury shook his head at Coulson’s words.

“Just stay awake.  Eyes on me!” he ordered before pulling a hand away and activating his com to Ruddy.

**_“Ruddy I need medical to the cell immediately.”_ **

There was a pause in his ear before Ruddy’s voice sounded.

**_“Medical was alerted but there are calling an ETA of fifteen minutes.  A lot of Agents are down sir.”_ **

Fury growled and reached forward to activate his coms again but a shaky pale hand weakly moved his hand away from the com.  Fury looked to Coulson who let his hand fall to his side.

Coulson shook his head at Fury, the blood trickling down his chin more heavily now.

“Let medical…help the others…,” croaked out Coulson grimacing. “I’m clocked out here…boss.”

Fury clenched his jaw at Coulson’s words but didn’t reach up to activate his com again.  Instead, he reached forward and placed his hand back on the wound, trying to stem the blood flow.

“Not an option,” he growled out to Coulson, trying to keep the emotion out of his voice.

Coulson gave him a sad smile, acknowledging that he heard the defeat in Fury’s voice. 

“It’s okay…boss.”

Fury sucked in a breath at the Coulson’s words as he pressed down more firmly on the wound.

“What do you need Phil?”

The use of his Phil’s first name felt so foreign on his tongue but under the circumstances it sounded right. 

Coulson grimaced at his question before letting his head lean heaving against the wall.  Bringing his eyes to stare at Fury he spoke.

“Maria…get me…Maria.”

*******

Maria started the action of moving towards medical with Natasha in her arms before Fury’s voice sounded in her coms.

**_“Agent Coulson is down.”_ **

Maria froze at the words.  Her body going rigid and she hoped that she wasn’t gipping Natasha too tightly.  She turned to see Barton had also frozen at Fury’s words as he stared at her with wide eyes.

**_“Hill.  He is asking for you.  Get here now.  We are at the cell.”_ **

Fury’s voice sounded again and Maria’s heart dropped at the shakiness in the man’s voice.  Something was wrong.  Maria stared down at the unconscious Natasha in her arms before staring back up at Barton, whom seemed to be frozen in place.

“Barton,” she growled out to the man, snapping him out of his daze.

Barton jerked at her words but brought his eyes up to her.

“Barton please take her to medical.  Do not let her leave your sight!” 

She handed Natasha’s limp body into Barton’s outstretched arms as he gave her a nod.  Maria gave one final glance to the unconscious Natasha before turning around and running towards the cell.

She ran as fast as her feet would take her.  She busted through the doorway expecting to see Phil loaded onto a gurney getting ready to be pushed to medical.          

But that wasn’t the case as she rounded the corner.

Her heart dropped as her eyes came to rest on Phil leaning up against the wall, blood trickling down this chin.  Fury’s hands were pressed onto a wound on his chest.  Even from this distance, Maria could see that even with pressure, blood was seeping through Fury’s hands. 

Phil must have heard her footsteps because he turned his head towards her, his normally bright blue eyes now looked so dim as he stared at her. 

“Maria…”

Maria moved to him quickly.  Fury moved to the side allowing her room to drop in front of Phil. 

Maria reached forward and moved Fury’s hands away.  As soon as his hands left the wound her eye were instantly greeted with the sight of blood rushing out of a large whole in Phil’s chest.  The blood poured from the wound freely from the lack of pressure.  She quickly moved her hands to the wound, the feeling of Phil’s blood pooling into her hands made her stomach turn. 

“Where is medical?” bit out Maria to Fury as her eyes tracked the blood that continued to pour down Phil’s chin.

“I called them but with so many Agents down they are another five minutes out.”

Maria growled as she stared down at her now blood coated hands.  Phil didn’t have five minutes. 

“Get them here now Fury.  I don’t care what you have to do.  Order them.  Threaten them…”

Maria’s voice trailed off as she brought her eyes up to Phil’s face.  He was so pale.

“Just get them here,” the plea in her voice caused her vocals to crack at the end.

“Maria…”croaked out Phil the finality in his voice had her heart dropping.

“No Phil,” bit out Maria putting more pressure on the wound trying to but failing to stop the bleeding.

“You are going be okay.  Fury is going get medical here and they will patch you up.”

“Maria…” gasped out Phil brining a shaky hand, placing it on her shoulder, his eyes never leaving her face. 

“I’m not gonna make it,” he gasped out.

“No!” cried out Maria as a choked sob escaped her lips.  “Please Phil.  You gotta’ fight okay?”

Phil’s shook his head and closed his eyes gasping out in pain, his breathing coming out more labored.  With every breath more blood trickled down his chin.

“When Matt talked about you…I could never wrap my head around…how he could be so loyal to someone…to have so much faith…to…to…love a friend so deeply…”

Another choked sob escaped Maria’s throat at Coulson’s words.  She looked away from him to stare at her hands again, the blood still seeping through her fingers.

The shaky hand moved from her shoulder to her face, cupping her chin and bringing her face back to him, before moving up and unclipping her glasses.  He gently moved them off of her face and let them fall to the ground between them.  He stared into her eyes for a few moments. 

“I understand it now.  You are everything he said you were…and so much more.”

He gasped, his breaths barely audible now. 

“It has truly been…the privilege…and the honor of my life…to know you.”

Maria let out a strangled cry as she watched the light leave his eyes. 

"NO please!" pleaded Maria reaching out a shaky hand up to Phil’s face.  “Phil!  Come on buddy, come back to me!  Come on Phil!”

Phil’s lifeless eyes continued to bore into her very soul until the view of him became obstructed by her tears as they began to poor down her face. 

Maria lowered her head until her forehead was resting against Phil’s.  She gasped out her voice barely above a whisper. 

"Please don't leave me Phil.  I can’t do this alone.  I can’t do this without you.”

Maria knew he was gone.  She knew that the life had left his body.  Phil was not coming back.  But it didn’t stop her from moving forward and gathering the man in her arms, wishing that somehow, someway, if she held Phil close enough to her heart then perhaps his would start back up again.

*******

Fury has seen horrible things over his lifetime—horrible, atrocious, disgusting things.  Men, woman and children of any age, dead, in the most gruesome of ways.  He has seen so much pain, death, and destruction, at almost every level. 

But looking back now, they all seemed so miniscule compared to what was before him.  He was on his feet staring down at his Deputy Director cradling a dead Phil Coulson to her chest.  The sobs that echoed from her chest had a haunting quality to them.  As Fury stared down at the scene before him he quickly realized that the he would have reoccurring nightmares about this for the rest of his life. 

“Hill…” he started but his words quickly died in his throat as a dark red substance started to escape from Hill’s body. 

The dark, red, vicious looking liquid began to seep from Hill’s body, taking on an almost smoke like appearance.  Fury watched as it continued to grow and within a matter of seconds it was surrounding Hill and Coulson, cocooning them.  The substance stopped growing, as it created an eight foot circular barrier around them.  It was almost as if the substance was trying to protect Hill. 

Fury cautiously stared at the substance, the view of Hill and Coulson could be barely scene through the thickness.  Stepping forward he reached his hand forward, not touching the substance but stopping just a few inches from it.   Darkness crept into his mind, immobilizing him.   Fury felt weak, almost as if he was being drained of his strength.

He quickly moved his hand back and stepped backward.  As soon as he was a safe distance away he took in a gasping breath.  His chest ached as if he hadn’t taken a breath in minutes. 

With the hammering of his heart pounding in his ear, he quickly realized that whatever this substance was, it just tried to drain his life force.  A shiver went down his spine, whatever this substance was, it dangerous. 

Very dangerous.

Taking a steadying breath he continued to watch the substance ripple around Hill.

He pressed his coms.

**_“Stark and Banner I need you at the cell now.”_ **

**_“I am on my way.  I don’t know where Banner is at.”_ **

There was a pause in the coms before Banner’s voice sounded.

**_“I am in the bowels of the ship.  I will get there as soon as I can.”_ **

**_“Dr. Banner are you okay?”_ **

Fury’s question wasn’t necessarily directed towards his wellbeing but rather inquiring to the state of the “other guy.”  Reports of the Hulk being active sounded in his coms just before he made his way to the cell.

There was a pause in Fury’s coms at his question.  Banner knew what he was asking.  The silence at the end of his coms told Fury that something did indeed happen.  After many seconds of silence, Banner’s voice sounded in his ear.

**_“There was a code green but Commander Hill was able to reverse the transformation.  Everything is under control, now.  I will be there as soon as I can.”_ **

Fury brought his eyes back to his Deputy Director staring at her outline through the substance.  His mind had a hard time processing Banner’s words.  Hill was able to reverse to the Hulks transformation?  

The sound of fast approaching footsteps pulled Fury from his thoughts as he stared at the door to see Tony Stark fly through the door, gasping for breath. 

Stark came to a skidding halt as his eyes came to rest on red substance.  He stared at the substance for a few seconds and Fury could see the exact moment that Stark noticed the outline of two bodies in the substance.  With wide eyes Stark stared from the substance then back to Fury.

“The Commander?”

Fury nodded.

“She and Agent Coulson are in there,” he added.

Stark’s eyes went even wider at Fury’s words.

“He was injured, why wasn’t he moved to medical?” asked Stark stepping towards Fury making sure to keep a safe distance away from the substance.

Fury grimaced at his question.

“Agent Coulson’s wounds were too severe,” Fury chose his words carefully and his eye never left Starks. 

“He knew he wasn’t going to make it.  He wanted to speak to Hill.  He was gone shortly after speaking her.”

Stark’s eyes went wide at Fury’s words before turning to stare at the substance.  His eyes were now full of sadness as he stared.  Fury followed Starks gaze and the two stared at the outline of the two bodies in silence for a few seconds, letting the somberness of the moment have its time. 

“The Commander is doing this?” asked Stark breaking the silence

Fury nodded. 

“It started directly after he was gone,” said Fury turning to stare at Stark.  “She didn’t handle it well.  She went into a state of catatonia and then…”

Fury paused then gestured to the substance.

“This happened.  Whatever is going on right now, I don’t believe it is intentional.  The substance, whatever “it” is almost acting as if it is trying to protect her.”

Stark pulled out his phone and held it out towards the substance.

“Jarvis scan.”

**_“The substance is converting the matter surrounding Commander Hill and Agent Coulson into dark matter.  It also seems to be drawing life from its surroundings.  According to my calculations, the dark energy would drain any life force from its energy just by the smallest of contacts.  The substance is capable of draining the energy of a human in a matter of seconds, effectively killing them.”_ **

Jarvis’s voice had both Fury and Stark stiffening as they stared at the substance. 

“So how do we get to Hill?” asked Fury.

**_“The barrier is pure energy.  It is impenetrable.”_ **

Fury and Stark were staring at the matter.  Jarvis’s words echoing in each of their minds.

“So we can’t get to her?” clarified Fury turning to stare at Stark.

Stark was staring at the substance.  Fury could see the wheels in his head turning.  Suddenly Starks eyes shot wide and there was a spark back in his eyes.  He turned to Fury and spoke.

“ _We_ can’t get to her,” said Stark indicating with his hand between himself and Fury before turning his head back to the substance, his eyes focusing on the outline of Maria Hill. 

“But there may be someone who can.”

*******

Blurred images run through Natasha’s mind as she shook her head trying to focus them.  She could feel the mind control trying to take its hold again but she refused to let that happen again. 

“Tasha, you’re going to be alright.”

Natasha heard the words and clenched her fist.  Her arms and body were strapped to the bed as she tried to focus on Clint’s voice.

“You know that?” choked out Natasha squeezing her eyes shut tightly her face grimacing against the pain that flared in her mind.  “Is that what you know?”

Her question was answered with silence.  Natasha turned her head and opened her eyes, trying to focus them on Clint who was sitting in a chair next to her. 

“I gotta go in and flush him out.”

Clint frowned at her words and shook his head.

“We don’t have that long.  It’s gonna take time Tasha.”

Natasha let out a breath as she brought her head back to the table, staring up at the ceiling.  Her mind was slowly becoming less clouded, more under her control.

“I thought I was done with people getting inside my head after my reprogramming.  I thought I was done with someone taking my brain and playing.  To pull you out and send something else in.  I am tired of feeling unmade.”

Silence once again greeted her.  Clint knew Natasha better than most.  He knew she needed time to process what had happened to her.

“Why am I back?  How did you get him out?”

“I didn’t.”

His words had Natasha’s head turning back to him. 

“Hill did.  Cognitive recalibration,” he answered her. 

Seeing the look of confusion on Natasha’s face Clint spoke again. 

“She hit you really hard on the head.”

_“I love you…I am who I am because of you.  I would not be here without you.”_

Natasha’s eyes clenched tightly as Maria’s words echoed in her mind.  She hissed at the pain but the overwhelming emotions that she felt sing through her body quickly overpowered the pain. 

Maria loved her?  Maria told her that she loved her!

“Nat?”

Clint was staring at her with concern evident in his eyes.

Natasha cleared her throat.  She would have time later to be happy about Maria’s words.  Now was not the time. 

“I’ll have to remember to thank her,” mumbled Natasha flexing her arms before staring down at the restraints than back to Clint.

Clint moved forward quickly and started unfastening the restraints.

As soon as the restraints were undone she sat up in the bed and rubbed at the angry red marks that marred her skin from them. 

Not looking up from her arms she spoke.

“Clint, how many agents…?”

“Don’t” interrupted Clint stepping forward and placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder as he stared down at her.  He waited until she brought his gaze up to meet his before speaking.  “Don’t do that to yourself, Tasha.  This is Loki.  This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for.”

Natasha nodded at his words but noted the fact that Clint never really answered her question.  But his lack of answer also answered it. 

“Loki, he got away?”

Clint nodded. 

“Yeah.  I don’t suppose you know where he is at.”

Natasha paused in her thinking trying to remember anything that stood out her hazy mind before shaking her head.

“I didn’t need to know.  I didn’t ask.  He is going to make his play soon though.  Today.”

Clint nodded at her words and opened his mouth to respond but Natasha’s suddenly stiffened and her eyes shot wide.

“Tasha..?”

“Maria,” said Natasha quickly, her mind suddenly remembered her mission, Ross…the STRIKE team. 

 “Is she okay?  Did I hurt her?  Did Ross get her?”

Clint stared at Natasha as she barraged him with questions.

“Easy Tasha,” soothed Clint.  “Hill is fine.  I mean, she looked fine when she handed you off to me.  As far as Ross getting her, he didn’t, Hill is still on the helicarrier.”

Natasha gave an audible sigh of relief at his words.

“Where is she?” she asked failing to keep the desperation out of her voice.  She needed to see Maria.  She needed to know the woman was okay, that she or Ross didn’t hurt her.

“Last I heard on the com’s she was heading towards the cell where they were keeping Loki…” his voice trailed off as he looked away from Natasha.

Natasha stared at Clint in concern, whatever had the man at a loss for words must have been bad.  There was an almost pained expression on the man’s face.

“Clint?” asked Natasha softly bringing his face back to hers.

Clint sighed as he stared at her. 

“Last I heard Coulson was down.”

Natasha’s eyes shot wide at his words.  The thought of one of the few people she was close to on the ship being hurt had Natasha frozen.  Coulson was annoying for sure, and her handler but the man had helped her so much over her time at SHIELD, he was important to her. 

“Is he okay?” asked Natasha trying but failing to keep her voice steady.

Clint didn’t outwardly react to Natasha’s words but she could see the emotion in the man’s eyes.

“Nothing has been confirmed but I don’t think it is good Tasha,” said Clint softly his shoulder sagging as he spoke.  “Fury said he was down and that he was requesting to speak to Hill.”

“Fury…” Clint paused bringing his eyes away from Natasha. “He sounded nervous.”

Natasha’s heart clenched painfully.  Clint was right.  A nervous Fury didn’t mean good news.

**“Barton.”**

Fury’s voice sounded from Clint’s com’s that was hanging from his ear. 

Clint quickly moved his com to his ear, pressing it he spoke.

**“This is Barton.”**

Natasha couldn’t hear what Fury was saying but the way that Clint’s head seemed to snap to her direction told her that Fury was talking about her.  She watched as Clint’s eyes then shot wide at what was being said in his ear before nervously staring at Natasha. 

**“Yes sir.”**

Clint pulled the coms from his ear again and stared at Natasha. 

“What is it?  Is it Loki again?”

Clint shook his head.

“No,” he paused as he stared at her with concerned gaze.  “It’s Hill.”

*******

Natasha moved as fast as her legs would take her.  The panic that ringed through her body became more prevalent with every step she took towards the cell.  Clint didn’t tell her what was wrong with Maria, just that something was wrong and that Fury needed her help. 

The sound of Stark, Rogers and Banner talking reached her ears before she reached the room.  What were they doing here? 

Natasha didn’t think it was possible but her heart pounded against her chest even harder now.  She reached the doorway and trying to prepare herself for what she was about to see.  She took a steadying breath just as she passed through the threshold of the door. 

Instantly, the room quieted at her presence. 

Natasha knew the men were in the room, but she didn’t pay them no mind.  Instead, her eyes were focused on the dark red substance that floated just five feet away from her.   Natasha instantly recognized this substance as the same substance that left Maria’s body in her office just a few days ago which meant Maria had to be doing this somehow. 

She took her eyes off the red substance and looked around the room to find Maria.  She scanned the room quickly, noting the absence of Maria.  Even with just a quick glance around the room Natasha noticed the way the men in the room seemed to be staring at her cautiously, as if they were waiting for her to discover something she wouldn’t like.

She brought her eyes back to the substance and stared at it.  How was Maria able to do this without being in the room?  She walked closer to the substance, noting the way the temperature seemed to drop the closer she got.  She stopped a foot away from it and stared, something was going on here.

Natasha’s eyes traced the movements of the substance before her eyes noticed the way the substance seemed to be centering around a shadow.  Natasha stared at the shadow for a few moments and her eyes shot wide at the realization that shadow was in the form of a body.  Maria was in there! 

Natasha stared closer at the shadow trying to determine the state of Maria.  Upon closer inspection Natasha noticed another shadow in their as well, almost as if someone was lying in Maria’s lap.

“What in the hell is going on?” she bit out not only to herself but to the men in the room. 

She stepped away from the substance before turning towards the men.

Fury stepped towards her, his eyes never leaving her face.

“Coulson didn’t make it,” said Fury softly, knowing that his words were going to affect her. 

Natasha’s heart clenched painfully at Fury’s words.  She turned to look over her shoulder to see Clint freezing at Fury’s words.  She and Clint stared at each other for a few moments.  Their worst fear about Coulson’s condition was just confirmed.

Fury seemed to be giving them some time to process this knew before speaking again.

“Hill didn’t handle it well.”

Natasha’s eyes shot wide at this as she turned from Clint to the substance again.  Natasha had to hold back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes at the realization that the outlines in the substance were Maria cradling a dead Coulson to her body. 

“The substance seems to be protecting her but we can’t get to her.  Stark and Banner have run every possible algorithm, the barrier around her is impenetrable.”

Natasha turned her eyes back to Fury at his words.  She stared at him for a few moments before looking over his shoulder to stare at Stark. 

He seemed to understand why she was staring at him and stepped forward.

“Whatever this stuff is,” nodded Stark to the substance before turning his eyes back to Natasha.  “It is pure dark energy.  Any of us would be killed in a matter of seconds if we were to come in contact with it.”

Natasha eyes widened at this.

“So what we are just going to sit here and let her suffer until this thing goes away?” growled out Natasha not liking this one bit.

Fury cleared his throat getting her attention.  As soon as her eyes were back on him he spoke.

“Stark reported to me that the mutation in Hill’s body reacts positively towards you, is that correct?”

Natasha’s mind was moving a mile a minute at Fury’s words.  Yes, whatever was going on inside Maria seemed to like her but what did that have to do with this situation?    How does Maria’s mutation liking going to help Maria?

Natasha continued to processing Fury’s words as she looked around the room, noting the nervousness in their eyes and body language as they stared at as her.  The nervousness in their eyes and Fury’s words suddenly had Natasha connecting the dots.

“You think I can get to her?”

Natasha looked around the room at the men.  They were not outwardly confirming her question but Natasha could see it in their eyes, this was their plan.

“Now wait one minute!” interrupted Clint stepping forward placing between herself and the men in a protective manner.  “You just said that stuff can kill someone in a matter of seconds!  So you want Natasha to touch it because it “might” not kill her?!”

The men in the room grimaced at Clint’s statement.  That only seemed to fuel his anger further.

“Over my dead body!” roared Clint. 

“Clint…” whispered Natasha softly trying to get his attention.

“You are not risking Natasha’s life over a hunch!”

“Clint!” yelled Natasha stopping his rant.

Clint turned to her and as his eyes widened at the uncertainty but also determination on her face. 

“No Tasha!” he shook his head stepping towards her.

“I have to try…” started Natasha.

Clint interrupted her by placing his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them as he spoke. 

“You could die!”

Natasha let out a breath at his words and before softening her eyes to stare up at her friend. 

“I have to try,” she repeated.  The desperation and determination was evident in her voice. 

Clint grimaced at her words, and Natasha could see his adam’s apple move, almost as if he was swallowing back another retort.  Clint knew her better than anyone.  When Natasha set her mind to something, she was going to get it done, regardless of what anyone told her.

“I can’t lose you too…” he started only for his voice to crack with emotion.

Natasha’s eyes clenched shut at Clint’s words.  Coulson was very close to both of them.  They could always rely on Coulson to be there for them.  The man cared very deeply for the two of them and in return they cared for him.  Coulson always went above and beyond his job when it came to Clint and her, which they both began to understand overtime, that this was because Coulson didn’t just see them as Agents but rather as family.  

Natasha and Clint never had a family.  Their team was the closest thing that both had to one and their family dynamic, no matter how ridiculous, actually worked for the three of them.

Regardless of the Natasha’s ability to take care of herself, Clint and Coulson always worried over her like a little sister.  They were also very protective over her, almost like over bearing older brothers.   Natasha, never one to like being perceived as weak didn’t like this at first but came to accept it over time.  It was nice having them caring for her, even if she did have to from time to time remind them both just how capable of taking care of herself she really was. 

Clint and Coulson were very close as well.  The dynamic between them was always something that Natasha never understood.  The two would clash all the time, which frequently Natasha had to get in the middle of them before Clint did something stupid.  Natasha would leave the room as everything cooled down and then come back to check on them an hour later to see them both sitting comfortably in Coulson’s office playing chess or talking about sports, as if the hour prior, where they almost ripped each other’s throats out never happened.   

One time Natasha asked how they could just move past their fights so easily.  She will always remember the way the men looked up from their chess game to stare at her, before staring at each other than back up to her.  Both of them shrugged at her question before answering.

_“It’s a guy thing.”_

After answering the two resumed their game of chess, joking and laughing over the game.

Natasha shook her head at the memory, clearing her thoughts before staring up at Clint.  The sadness in the man’s eyes almost had her at a loss for breath.  They both lost someone today that they both considered to be almost like the older brother, in their very confusing and weird family. 

“You won’t lose me Clint.” 

Natasha spoke softly trying to put as much reassurance in her voice as possible.  She certainly didn’t feel 100 % confident that she wouldn’t be killed by this substance as she soon as she touched it but she wanted to convey as much confidence as possible, not only for herself but for Clint. 

“I have touched this stuff before,” she spoke again not only to Clint but also to the men in the room.  “It didn’t affect me then.”

She added in her head that the substance wasn’t as thick or this powerful at that time.  She didn’t need to give Clint anymore reason to worry.

She turned from Clint to stare at Fury, her eyes hardening in determination.

“I will try.”

Fury let out a stiff nod.  Natasha could easily see that he was just as uncomfortable with this situation as she was. 

Natasha nodded back to him before turning to the substance.  She stepped closer to it, only a few inches from it.  She closed her eyes and fought back the shiver at the temperature drop around the substance.  It felt as if she were standing outside in the middle of winter with no protection.  It was freezing. 

However, in the back of her mind she knew the cold wasn’t the only reason for the shiver.

Natasha clenched her eyes painfully shut, as she tried to fight back against the darkness that tried to take ahold of her mind.  Her words to Maria all those months ago now echoed through her mind.

“ _The difference between us and Coulson is that when he wakes up, his nightmare ends—ours never leave us._ ”

Memories that she kept under lock and key in the back of her mind started to move to the front of her mind. 

**Drakov’s daughter…São Paulo…the hospital fire…**

Natasha’s darkest, most disturbing memories were now out of their cage and wreaking havoc in her mind. 

It felt as if she were there all over again.   Their pained screams sounded in her ears.  She could feel their blood on her hands.  She couldn’t take this much longer.  It was all too much!  Suddenly, the smell of burning flesh overwhelmed all of her other senses and she had to physically fight the vomit that crept up from her stomach at the smell.

Natasha shook her head, trying to shake away the memories but they didn’t budge.  It was as if they were set on repeat as they played over and over again in her head.

She couldn't shake them but it didn't stop her from reaching a shaky hand out towards the substance.  The memories intensified the closer her hand got to the substance.  She could feel the tears streaming down her face at the onslaught of memories but she still pushed forward, her fingers shook just centimeters from the substance. 

Natasha barely could see her shaky fingers though her tear clouded eyes but she knew she was close the substance.  She closed her eyes, forcing more tears from her eyes before reaching forward blindly.  If she was going to die then she didn't want to witness it. 

A cold liquid touched her fingers and the memories came to a halt.

Natasha eyes shot wide, the silence in her once darkened mind took her by surprise.  She watched as the red substance moved up her arm, its coolness gliding against her skin, almost of it was caressing her.  It was still ice cold but now instead of freezing it was soothing. 

Seconds passed and Natasha hasn’t died.  In fact, she never felt so alive.  The darkness that she always kept locked deep down inside herself was still there but it seemed to be at peace now.  It no longer felt wrong.  She no longer felt tainted.  It was like the substance was absorbing all her pain, almost as if it was feeding off it and leaving nothing but comfort in its wake.

Taking a breath she pushed forward stepping into the substance.  It felt like taking a cold shower after running hours in the heat, it was freezing but in a good way.  The substance moved against her skin but allowed her to move freely towards the outline of Maria.

Within a few steps Natasha was surprised to find that substance suddenly stopped.  It was like being in the eye of a hurricane, calmness at its middle and chaos surrounding it.  Natasha’s took a breath of relief at finally making it through the substance but that breath of relief was quickly lost at the sight before her.

Maria Hill was leaning up against the wall of the room.  The notable blood splatter next to her told Natasha that this must have been where Coulson was attacked.  Maria eyes were glowing black as she stared absently forward.  There was a heavy amount of blood on her suit, almost right over her heart.  Natasha noted no visible wounds on her body, so the blood must belong to Coulson.   How it got there Natasha didn’t know. 

The sight of Maria’s now glowing red eyes was enough to set Natasha on edge but the two unknown men sitting on either side of her had Natasha instantly reaching for her gun.

“Come on Cap,” the large burley man on Maria’s left spoke.  “You can’t do anything for him.  He is gone Cap.”

The man reached forward and Natasha followed his hand as he reached down to Maria’s lap.

Natasha’s heart clenched painfully at the sight of Phil’s head on Maria’s lap.  His lifeless blue eyes were still open as they stared up at Maria.   Maria’s hands were pressing down on a large wound in Coulson’s body, blood no longer flowed from it but Maria continued putting pressure on the wound as if it did.  Her hands were coated with Coulson’s blood.  There wasn’t a speckle of skin on Maria’s hands and wrists that weren’t red.  

The man’s hand now covered Maria’s and gripped it rightly.  The blood coating his hand as well.  His hand clenched around Maria’s and you could see him trying to pull her hand away, but it slipped away at every effort.

“She won’t budge Warren.”

The man looked at the man on the other side of Maria. 

The man named Warren sighed at the other man’s words as he stared down at Maria’s bloody hands.  He stared down at them for a few moments before bringing his gaze up to Natasha, almost as if he sensed her presence. 

“Good,” he grumbled out, “you’re here.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes to the man and her finger twitched on the trigger.

“Who are you?” she growled out.

The man on Maria’s left looked at Natasha, his eyes trailed up Natasha’s body, pausing at the gun before meeting her gaze.

“I can see why she likes you,” he grunted out before turning back to Maria.  

“Who are you?” growled out Natasha again. 

“Warren Braddock,” answered the large black man before nodding towards the other man.  “Drew Garrison.”

Natasha froze at the names.  She knew these names.  She read the SHIELD Intel on Maria’s famous team.  These men were members of the Black Angels but most importantly, they were also supposed to be dead. 

“You’re alive?” asked Natasha with disbelief.

The men shook their heads at her question.

Natasha heart dropped and her eyes shot wide.

Warren grimaced at her look.

“She needed us.  So we came.”

“How…is this…possible?” stammered out Natasha as she re-holstered her gun to stare at the men.

“The darkness,” shrugged Garrison not looking away from Maria.  “It summoned us.  We knew she was in trouble so we came.”

Braddock nodded.

“We didn’t want her to be alone,” he paused to stare down at Phil, a frown marring his face.  “Phil was a friend.”

Natasha grimaced at his words, her eyes coming down to Phil. 

“He was a friend as well,” she whispered before moving forward.

Natasha crouched down in front of Maria.  She moved slowly not wanting to startle her.   

“Maria,” said Natasha softly.

Red glowing eyes continued to stare forward, as if they were looking through Natasha completely. 

“Maria,” repeated Natasha continuing to keep the tone of her voice soft.  She followed up these words with a tentative touch.  Natasha slowly moved her hand forward and touched the skin on Maria’s exposed forearm, just above all the blood.

Maria’s eyes still glowed red and continued to stare forward, but they could see her body react to the touch.

Garrison and Braddock saw the reaction and sighed in relief before getting to their feet.

“You better take care of her Romanoff,” warned Garrison crossing his arms over his chest. 

Natasha turned from Maria to Garrison and Braddock, opening her mouth to retort but the words died on her lips as a third man materialized between them. 

Phil Coulson, suit and all was staring down at Maria and his dead body.  He stared at Maria for a few seconds, frowning before turning his gaze to Maria.

“Take care of her for me,” he said softly.   

Natasha felt the tears leave her eyes at his words.  The sob that escaped her lips she stifled at first, as an attempt to hide her grief, but she was quickly overcome with a waive emotions that broke down her wall, almost as if all her defenses were washed away with every tear that escaped from  her eyes.  Natasha stared at Coulson for a few moments as her emotions, grief, loss, devastation raged inside of her. 

“I will Phil,” choked out Natasha, her vision blurring as she tried to hold back the tears.

Phil nodded at her words.

“I know you will.”

He sent her that famous Phil Coulson smile before turning around and walking into the red darkness, his body was absorbed into the shadow.  Braddock gave her one last passing before turning and following Phil.

Garrison paused staring at Maria for a few more moments before bringing his eyes back to Natasha.  His eyes narrowed at her, reminding her of his warning just a few minutes prior before turning and following the men into the darkness.

Natasha watched them go for a few moments, her mind having a hard time processing what she just witnessed before turning back to the Maria.

Taking in a steadying breath Natasha wiped away the tears from her face.  She forced her emotions to the back of her mind, as her walls came back down, the emotions walled off behind her mask.  She needed to be strong for Maria, and if that meant wearing her mask until everything was alright again then she would, she didn’t know any other way. 

Reaching forward she placed her hand back on Maria’s forearm.

“Maria,” said Natasha softly, letting her thumb swipe against the bare skin. 

Natasha could feel the shift in the room but she ignored it.  She concentrated on Maria’s eyes.  They were changing with every second she kept contact with her. 

“That’s it Maria.  I’m here,” whispered Natasha.

Maria continued to stare forward but the change was done.  Her Maria was back.

“Maria,” said Natasha softly trying to get the woman’s attention.

Maria turned her head towards Natasha and bright blue eyes were now staring at her. 

Natasha heart stopped at the gaze.  While Maria’s eyes were still as beautiful as ever, Natasha could see the lack of spark.  Natasha once told Maria that her eyes were so blue it was as if they had their own sky in them, but now they held a raging storm. 

Once peaceful skies now raged.  It was the type of storm where the wind doesn’t howl—it screams.  The rain doesn’t fall—it is driven, hard, merciless, torrential.  The trees do not sway—they creak, bend, and moan. 

Natasha knew this storm all too well.  There is nothing that you can do but sit and watch as the violence tears apart everything around you.  All you can do is huddle and pray for a cessation of the brutality.  The storm would eventually break.

“Maria,” whispered Natasha reaching forward with a cupping the woman’s face. 

She let out an audible sigh of relief as Maria leaned into Natasha’s hand, her eyes closing at the touch. 

Natasha dragged her thumb over Maria’s cheek bone gently.

Maria’s eyes opened slowly and Natasha heart clenched at the look.  The storm had broken.  There was no wind, no rain, no thunder…just an avalanche of water that threatened to drown the world. 

The first tear fell. 

Then another. 

And another.

“Nat…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I cried writing this chapter a couple times. I hope you guys felt that same emotion. How did you like my spin on the Aether power? More Aether questions will be answered in the upcoming chapters I promise. Well....tell me what you think!! Can't wait to hear from you!


	18. The Nightfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guy! No I didn't I didn't forget the story! It has just been a really long month at work and I haven't had hardly any time! Well here is the new chapter! Hopefully you guys enjoy it!

Natasha’s hands shook as she pulled down zipper of Maria’s tactical suit.  She stared at her hand moving down Maria body as she couldn’t bring herself to stare up at the haunted face of her lover. 

After Natasha broke Maria out of her catatonic state in the cell, Maria hasn’t spoken.  It was almost as if the Maria she had come to love, was just a shell of a person now.  There was no trace of “Her Maria” as Natasha helped Maria to her feet and walked her to her room.

So here they were. 

In Maria’s bathroom, with Natasha’s shaky hands trying to get the blood drenched tactical suit off Maria’s body.  

The zipper was finally down and Natasha moved her hand to the shoulders of the suit, gently peeling the suit over and down Maria’s shoulders.  Her eyes zeroed in on some blood splatter on Maria’s neck and her heart clenched at the sight. 

SHIELD lost a great agent today.

Maria lost her best friend today. 

Natasha pulled the tactical suit down Maria’s body, guiding her arms through the sleeves.  With the tactical suit bunched at Maria’s feet Natasha stepped back and reached into the shower, turning the water on.  She stood there checking the temperature before stepping back from the water. 

She turned and ready to get her lover out of her bra and underwear and then into the shower but froze in her movements at the sight that greeted her. 

Maria had stepped out her tactical suit and her bra and underwear were in a pile on the floor. 

Her back was to Natasha as she leaned heavily on her outstretched arms that were placed on the bathroom countertop.

Natasha has seen Maria countless times naked by now but the sight before had her at a loss of breath, both in beauty and the nightmarish quality of the moment.  

Maria’s back muscles clenched and unclenched under the large black wing tattoos giving off the impression that the wings themselves were trying to break from her skin.   Maria was staring at the mirror, her black eyes unwavering in their gaze, staring at her blood spackled body.

Phil’s blood…

Natasha made quick work of her own clothes and stripped naked before approaching Maria.  She made sure to keep a safe distance away from Maria and be ready to defend herself in case Maria reacted violently to her touch. 

Slowly, she reached out and touched Maria’s shoulder.  The skin beneath her touch jumped but Maria didn’t move. 

Natasha gently ran her fingertips down Maria’s arm, leaving a wake of shivers in their wake before reaching Maria’s hand.  Slowly, she intertwined their fingers on top of the counter top.  Natasha gave the hand a gentle squeeze before pulling slightly on the hand, trying to guide Maria to the shower. 

The pull was gentle but it seemed to have the right affect as Maria brought her gaze from the mirror to stare down at their joined hands. 

Natasha watched as Maria stared at their hands for a few moments before finally moving away from the countertop and allowing Natasha to pull her into the shower. 

They entered the shower and Natasha positioned Maria so that the hot water was pouring down onto Maria’s back.   Natasha stood in front of her, reaching forward to lightly wash away the blood on Maria’s neck.  The blood was almost completely off when Maria’s hand came up to grab Natasha’s wrist.

Natasha brought her gaze up to Maria’s and was instantly sucked into Maria’s blue eyes.  There was a vulnerability to them that literally took Natasha’s breath away. 

“Phil’s gone…” croaked out Maria.

Natasha heart ached at Maria’s words and when she opened her mouth to respond she realized that she couldn’t seem to find the right words.  Were there any right words for this situation?  So instead, Natasha reached forward and gently pulled Maria into her body.  Maria instantly leaned down to tuck her face into Natasha’s neck and wrap her arms Natasha’s middle.

Natasha held her. 

Today they lost a friend. 

Natasha reached up and ran her fingers through Maria’s wet hair, while her other arm firmly wrapped around Maria’s middle, pulling her even closer. 

Today their world was full of darkness but when they held each other, just for a moment, the darkness didn’t seem so bad. 

***

They left the shower fifteen minutes ago and neither of them have spoken since.  Natasha knew Maria needed time to process what had happened so she was giving her space.  The two found themselves in Maria’s quarters getting dressed.  Natasha was just pulling Maria’s hoodie over her head and when her head popped out the opening she jumped at the sight of Maria standing in front of her.

“Jesus Maria,” gasped out Natasha.

Maria tilted her head to the side a sad smile on her face.

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

The two stood there staring at each other for a few moments before Maria’s eyes made their way to Natasha’s temple, the black and blue bruise was already forming.

Maria reached up slowly and gentle ran her fingertips over the bruise, a frown forming on her face.

“Sorry about that,” whispered Maria her fingers leaving the bruised temple to cup Natasha’s face.

“I don’t remember how I got it so I guess I can let it go this time,” said Natasha softly a half smile on her lips.

Maria’s frown deepened at Natasha words before pulling her hand away.

“Ross tried to use you to get to me,” she bit out, avoiding eye contact with Natasha.

Natasha sighed.

“Maria, this was Loki.  Ross just took advantage of the situation.”

Maria shook her head at Natasha’s words. 

“This is precisely what I didn’t want to happen.  I told you that being with me would put you in danger.  Now Ross knows about you.  He will use you to get to me.  You will never be safe now.”

“Maria…”

“I couldn’t even protect Phil!  Loki killed him to break me.  Phil died because of me!”

 “Maria…”

 “And it isn’t just Ross and Phil,” exclaimed Maria frustration and anger evident in her voice.  “When I was trapped in the lower section of the ship with the Hulk…I let the darkness out Natasha.  It protected me but now it is out.  I can’t put it back in its cage Natasha.  I can’t control it.  I am a danger to you!”

“Stop it now!” said Natasha firmly getting Maria’s attention. 

“Loki killed Phil because he is a psychopath.  You are not responsible for Phil’s death.”

Maria opened her mouth to retort but Natasha shook her head.

“I am speaking now,” said Natasha her nostrils flaring in anger. 

“I am a trained assassin, Maria.  Ross and his henchmen do not scare me.  I am not a little girl who needs your protection.  I am a grown woman who makes her own choices and I don’t need a protector.”

“Natasha…”

“I am not done,” said Natasha growled out in frustration.

The two stood in silence for a few moments before Natasha allowed her face features to move from frustration to concern.

“You darkness has always been a part of you.  I have always known this about you and I never once pretended otherwise.  When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with darkness as well.  You have to trust me enough to love that part of you as much as I do the rest.”

Maria grimaced at her words.

“You don’t know what you’re asking Natasha.”

“It’s not a question. It’s not even close to a request. This is how it has to be,” said Natasha crossing her arms over her chest as she leveled Maria with a look. 

“You need to let me love what you hate. Let me do that for you.”

Maria opened her mouth to respond but a loud knock on her door had her turning to stare at her office door. 

Maria gave Natasha one final look, letting her know that this conversation wasn’t over before walking towards the door and opening it, revealing Steve in full uniform. 

Steve shifted on his feet as he stared at her with a sympathetic gaze.

“What is it Steve?” sighed Maria.

Steve straightened his shoulders at her words as his sympathetic look quickly disappeared, giving wake to a look of determination.

“It’s time to go.”

Maria tensed at his words as she felt Natasha moved behind her to stand at her side.  A calming hand was placed into the center of her back, a silent move signaling that their fight could wait.

“Go where?” asked Natasha.

“Banner was able to track Loki to Stark Tower.  He plans to unleash the Chitari in New York.  Barton is prepping the Quinjet.  We need to leave, now.”

“New York,” grimaced Maria thinking of the high populated area and the causalities this war would cause. 

Steve nodded at her words, a grim look on his face.  He too recognized the fact that a lot of innocents would lose their life today. 

“We need you two to suit up.”

“Got it,” nodded Natasha, her thumb swiping along Maria’s back before pulling away entirely and walking out of the room, most likely to her quarters to put on her Black Widow suit.

Neither Steve nor Maria watched her go as they both continued to stare at each other. 

Maria didn’t outwardly show her panic at Steve’s words but on the inside a range of emotions were plaguing her.  Fear, she couldn’t control her powers.  Nervousness, what if she had a PTSD attack in the field.  Apprehension, she wasn’t ready for this. 

“We need you.”

Steve’s words were like a punch to Maria’s chest.  How did he even know what she was thinking?

“Steve, I am can’t control my powers, what if I lose control?  I am a liability to the team…”

“You are the leader of the Avengers.  We need you,” he paused giving her a meaningful look.  “The world needs you.”

Maria grimaced at his words.

“I don’t have a suit Steve, nothing equipped for this kind of battle…”

“Yah…about that,” interrupted Steve giving her a sheepish smile.  “Stark took it upon himself to build you one.  It’s in the Quinjet.”

“You cannot be serious,” deadpanned Maria her mind reeling at the thought of Tony making her a suit.  Tony making her making her suit made her extremely nervous.   After all, the man wasn’t known for his subtlety. 

Steve sent her another nervous smile.

“Time to suit up Commander.”

***

Maria walked up the Quinjet with Steve.  Natasha and Barton were putting the finishing touches on their suits while Tony and Banner were going over some information on the holographic screen and Thor was standing behind them, his arms crossed over his chest. 

Tony took his eyes off the screen as Maria walked up the hatch.  He quickly mumbled something to Banner before moving around the screen to meet her halfway.

“I swear if this suit is fire-engine red and gold I’m not wearing it,” deadpanned Maria crossing her arms over her chest and leveling Tony with a look.

Tony smirked at her words.

“Please,” scoffed Tony.  “Only certain people can wear those colors and look good.  Red and gold are not in your color pallet Commander,” he teased before reaching to the side of the Quinjet before grabbing a very large metal crate.  He gave it a tug but it barely moved.

“Thor a little help here,” called Tony, shooting Maria a sheepish look.

Thor stepped forward and dragged the crate forward with ease to set it at Maria’s feet. 

Tony stepped towards the crate slapping Thor on the arm, “thanks Point Break,” before leaning down to unlatch the crate.

“I knew eventually this day would come, so while my team at Stark Industries was building the transport, I took it upon myself to build you a suit.”

Tony finished the last latch and opened the crate revealing what was inside.

Maria’s eyes shot wide at what she saw.

“How did you even…” she trailed off, not taking her eyes off of what she was seeing.

Tony shrugged his shoulders at her words.

“You intrigued me.  So I hacked into your classified files both in the U.S. military and SHIELDS Intel,” Tony continued ignoring the narrowed eyes of Steve to his left.  “When I came across your teams Khalid Khandil mission I knew I had to make one for you to go with your suit.”

“Bakhmala?” asked a voice from the front of the Quinjet, bringing both Tony and Maria’s eyes away from the crate to meet the gaze of Natasha staring at Maria questioningly.  “The locals still talk about that day.  They said an army of Angels of Death came from the sky and saved them.  That was your team?”

Barton was standing behind Natasha, the conversation getting his attention as he stared at Maria with wide eyes.

“I heard they couldn’t bring the choppers because of the RPG’s.  How did you guys get in there?” he asked stepping forward. 

“With Stark Tech of course,” replied Tony crossing his arms and smirking.  “I don’t make weapons anymore but I still supply the military with equipment.  They came to me about their problem with the Bakhmala and I supplied them with the “Nightfall.”  One of my best works,” he paused smiling clearly proud of himself but then quickly added, “besides my suit of course.”

He ignored Natasha’s eye roll and continued.

“The Military didn’t appreciate the kill switch I activated in them though.  I learned my lesson the last time I gave them a piece of my tech.  The War Machine is like a flying tank now.  I didn’t need a repeat performance. ”

“The Nightfall?” asked Barton confusion evident on his face. 

Tony smirked at them both before nodding down at the crate, signaling for both of them to see what was inside.

Natasha and Barton, as well as the rest of the members of the Avengers stepped forward to stare inside the crate, their eyes shooting side at what they saw.

“The harness features detachable wings.  The length of the wings is 10 feet per wing and they are made of lightweight titanium ribbing and vibranium microwaves, making them resistant to small arms fire.  The wings themselves are controlled by a cybernetic link that is controlled mentally though the mask.  The pack itself has a magnetic drive, so it provides the thrust needed to get the wearer airborne.  It can reach speeds of 200 mph in 4 seconds.”

“Holy shit…” said Barton staring down at the suit with wide eyes before looking up to Maria. 

“Tony,” said Maria bringing her eyes away from the crate to stare at him.  “I don’t remember the Nightfall having this kind of tech on it the last time I flew one.”

“Yes well, I upgraded it of course,” said Tony shrugging smirking.  “I don’t make weapons anymore Commander, so the last one you wore was for transportation purposes only.  It was only meant to get you and your team past the RPG’s.”

He paused as he nodded down at the crate. 

“This one is highly weaponized.  It is equipped with Double Gatling guns on the shoulders.  It is essentially a human fighter jet.”

Maria nodded at his words as she got down on her knees and reached for the pair of sunglasses and a partial mask.  Bringing them up, she stared at them.

“The glasses are like the ones you have on but upgraded to sync with the harness.  They have infrared lenses.  It will give you the ability to see objects by their infrared signature at night, magnification capabilities, and remote imaging sensors that allow a full 360 degree vision when activated.”

Maria nodded at his words and quickly switched out her glasses. Once they were on she stared down at the mask.  She couldn’t help but run her fingers over the half mask.  It would cover from her nose down her chin but it wasn’t the mask itself that caused the uneasy feeling in her chest but rather the detail on the mask. 

It was an exact replica of the skull bandanas that her team wore in combat. 

“I saw that you team wore skull bandanas in combat so I thought…there is a plain black one in there too in case you don’t want to wear…” stuttered out Tony shifting on his feet, clearly thinking he upset her with his design.

Maria shook her head as she stood up to turn towards Tony placing a reassuring hand on the man’s shoulder. 

“Its perfect Tony,” nodded Maria giving the shoulder a squeeze before letting her hand drop from his shoulder. 

Maria stared down at the mask in her hands for a few seconds before bringing her gaze up to the team assembled around her. 

“We've been through a lot,” started Maria making sure to look at every team member before continuing. 

“We've lost some dear friends and we've gained some, too. And with that, historically, we know that this means it's time to do some real soul-searching. It's time to reexamine what the Avengers are and what we mean to each other and the world. So the real question is...who will stay and who will go? Who will be an Avenger?”

The silence in the cab of the Quinjet was defining for a few moments before Steve stepped forward.

“I will,” he nodded towards Maria.

“Count me in,” nodded Barton.

“Me too,” said Natasha crossing her arms.

“With a speech like that how could I say no,” replied Tony throwing her a smirk.

Bruce stood next to Tony grimacing before sighing.

“I didn’t ask you how you were able to reverse the transformation.”

Maria frowned but nodded.

“He respects me.”

Bruce gave her a questioning glance for a few seconds before sighing and running his fingers through his hair.

“Will he listen to you?”

Maria paused as she thought about this, remembering her encounter with the Hulk, before finally nodding.

“I believe he will.”

Bruce sighed, a pained expression on his face as he processed her words before finally nodding.

“We’re in then.”

Thor gave a booming laughter cutting though the silence as he slapped Steve on the shoulder. 

“It will be an honor to join you all in battle…,” he paused to look around at all of them, a smile on his lips.  “For not one of us could do this alone.”

“Okay, “ nodded Maria at his words before giving everyone one last glance before reaching up and snapping her mask in place.

“Let’s get the bastard.”

***

“We are 5 minutes out,” called Barton so that the team could hear him in the cab before turning to his co-pilot, Natasha.

“I am good here Tasha,” said Barton softly. 

Natasha took her eyes off the sky at his words to stare at him questioningly. 

Barton caught her gaze and shrugged.

“We are about to go to war Natasha,” replied Barton.  “A war with a God and Aliens.  A war that some of might not come back from.  If I were in your shoes, I would want to spend my last moments before the chaos with someone I loved.”

Natasha grimaced at his words, the reality of the situation that they were about to find themselves in becoming all too real to her. 

“Thanks Clint,” said Natasha softly before unbuckling herself form the cockpit and standing.

She moved to make her way to the back of the cab but paused to stare down at her friend for a few moments.  She could see that Clint could feel her gaze but he was actively avoiding it as he stared into the open sky.  The reality of the situation must be making its presence known within him as well.  Reaching forward she placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I love you too, you know?” she said softly.

Clint swallowed at her words but nodded, as he reached up to grab her hand squeezing it on his shoulder.

“I love you too Tasha,” said Clint just as softly before giving her hand one final squeeze before pulling his hand away and back to the steering.

Natasha sucked in a deep breath trying to still her rapidly beating heart.

“You should call Laura,” she whispered low enough so that the team didn’t hear her.  “Talk to your wife and kids, Clint.  Tell them you love them.”

Clint grimaced at her words but nodded as he reached forward and grabbed his phone.

Natasha moved forward towards the back of the cab.

“Hello darling…” echoed behind her as she moved to the back of the cab, Clint’s words voice fading with every step. 

Natasha moved past the men silently, not making eye contact with any of them, as that would require her to bring her gaze away from Maria, which was hard enough to begin with but now with her new tactical gear it was impossible.

The skin tight black pants hugged Maria in all the right ways.  The gun holsters that were strapped to her thighs were a nice addition as well.  Natasha’s eyes moved up Maria’s body to the also skin tight black vest, the thickness of the material signaled to Natasha that she should at least thank Stark for at least making the vest bullet proof.  The vest was the only part of the top, so Maria’s arms and tattoos were on display for everyone to see.   The Nightfall was strapped to her back.  The bindings were buckled across her stomach and chest, holding it in place. 

The black tactical suit, accompanied with the black Nightfall, and then the half mask decorated with a skull gave Maria an almost haunting quality.

Natasha was almost five feet from Maria before Maria noticed her approach.  Maria turned her gaze away from the wall she was staring at to meet Natasha’s gaze.  Reaching forward she unsnapped the mask from her face just as Natasha entered her personal space.

“Hey,” said Maria softly reaching forward and cupping Natasha’s face. 

Natasha closed her eyes and leaned into the touch before reaching up and cupping Maria’s hand on her cheek.

“Hey,” whispered Natasha, turning her head and placing a small kiss to the center of Maria’s palm before pulling the hand away from her face and intertwining their fingers. 

She knew she was squeezing Maria’s hand too tightly but Maria didn’t seem to complain.

The questioning gaze that Maria was giving her had Natasha heart clenching.  Maria was still probably thinking about their fight in her quarters. 

"We aren't fighting right now,” said Natasha softly.

Maria let out a sigh of relief at her words and nodded before smiling softly. 

"I hate fighting with you. Verbally, I mean. I don't mind in the gym."  
  
Natasha gave out a low chuckle at her words before squeezing Maria’s hand reassuringly. 

"I don't like fighting with you either."

Natasha marveled at the warm and happy emotions that sprung inside of her, the reality of the moment seems to have increased them.  There was something about being around Maria felt so good to her.  She loved Maria and now they were going to war together. 

"I only just found you.  I can't lose you now,” croaked out Natasha. 

 “One minute out,” called Clint from the front.  “Stark and Hill, get ready for the drop.”

Maria doesn’t react to the words.  Instead she keeps her eyes firmly planted on Natasha.  Giving her a sad smile Maria leaned forward and pressed her forehead against Natasha’s. 

They stood like that for a few moments in silence before Maria pulled back just slightly and Natasha felt warm lips press against her forehead. 

“20 seconds!”

Maria stepped away and Natasha couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes.  She wanted to memorize the feeling of Maria’s lips against her skin, just in case she never felt them again. 

“I’ll come back to you.” whispered Maria as she continued stepping back towards the hatch that was now opening. 

Natasha eyes shot open at the words.

Almost as if she couldn’t stop herself she calls out to her.

“Maria…”

Natasha isn’t even embarrassed about how helpless her voice sounds.

Maria paused at the end of the hatch with Stark. 

“I love you,” mouthed Maria staring at Natasha before reaching up and snapping her mask on.

“Five!”

“You ready?” asked Stark. 

Maria turned towards Tony, his Ironman suit was on and his face plate was up as he brought his gaze from the open sky to Maria.

“Four!”

Maria gave him a nod before turning her gaze back to Natasha. 

“Three!”

She stared at the love of her life, and just for that moment, the thought  of this possibly being the last time she ever saw her entered her mind.

“Two!”

It felt so final. 

“One!”

Maria gave one last glance at Natasha before jumping out of the hatch and into the open sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what do you guys think? I know it is short but I enjoyed writing it! So hopefully you enjoyed reading it and the twist I put in it with Maria having the "Falcons" wings :)


	19. To War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I am back, sort of. I have been working on this chapter off and on for about 4 months. I can't guarantee when the next chapter will be posted, however at least you all now know I have not completely abandoned this story. Well I hope you enjoy.
> 
> FYI if you haven't noticed, I set the end of this story at 21 chapters. Which means there is only two chapters to go!

Chapter 19: To War

* * *

 

Maria jumped out of the plane and the cold air hit her instantly.

She quickly sought out Tony and could see him flying in the direction of Stark tower directly below them.  Maria steeled her nerves and concentrated on her wings.  It had been years since she last flown a Nightfall and knew it wouldn’t be like riding a bike.  It took her team four months of intensive training to master the Nightfall’s capabilities for the Khalid Khandil mission. 

Maria let her body fall though the sky for a few more seconds before activating her wings.  The wings shot out quickly and gathered the surrounding air, stopping her instantaneously.

Maria hovered in the air for a few seconds, allowing herself to get used to the Nightfall’s controls once again before looking down to see that Tony had already landed on Stark Tower.  The plan was for her to not confront Loki, much to her dismay.  Only Tony was to enter Stark Tower.  She tried to argue with Steve but he made a valid point when he suggested that they send Tony first. 

She was an element of surprise.  One Loki would not be expecting.  If she were to enter Stark Tower with Tony then the team would lose their advantage and Loki would have time to plan accordingly in the coming war.

_“Force him to think on his feet Maria.”_

_Thor nodded next to Steve before addressing Maria and the rest of the Avengers._

_“Loki is well adept in battle strategy but his weakness is his confidence.  The sight of you will cause him to falter.  He knows of your power and strength.  The sight of you in the heat of battle may be enough for him to question his strategy, which may give us the push we need to overcome his army.”_

Steve and Thor’s words echoed in her mind as she hovered in the air, watching Stark Tower for any sign of distress from Tony. 

* * *

 

 

Tony landed on the landing pad of Stark Tower.  His eyes instantly zeroed in on Loki as he walked forward.  The machines he designed to take of his suit went to work with every step that he took. 

Just as he reached the door the last piece of his suit was off.  Opening the door he walked in calmly, well aware of the danger he was putting himself in by being around the god with no armor. 

Loki, knew of his presence instantly and walked towards him holding his scepter and smiling, but thankfully the god stopped a safe distance away.

Tony moved his gaze away from Loki as he felt his anger spike at Loki’s smug smile.  He moved towards the bar and poured him a shot of bourbon.  Liquid courage would be needed if here were to come out of this alive.

“Please tell me you you’re going to appeal to my humanity,” said Loki the smile never leaving his face as he goaded Tony.

“Uh…actually,” responded Tony reaching forward and putting his Mark VII  colantotte bracelets on, before looking up to Loki, “I’m planning to threaten you.”

Loki laughed at that before pointing out his scepter.

“You should have left your armor on for that.”

Tony grimaced at the sight of the scepter being pointed at him but he quickly masked it by taking a drink of his bourbon.

 “Yeah, well the suit has seen a bit of mileage,” replied Tony and then nodded towards the scepter.  “And you’ve got the blue stick of destiny,” he goaded back before taking another drink, ignoring the flash of anger in Loki’s eyes. 

“Would you like a drink?” questioned Tony, changing the subject and not wanting to push Loki too far. 

The anger dissipated from Loki’s eyes as he answered.

“Stalling me won’t change anything.”

“No, no, no, remember? Threatening,” chided Tony with a smirk before taking another drink.  “No drink?  You sure?  This bottle of bourbon cost me $15,000.”

Loki glared at him but stepped back and turned towards the open window to the sky.

“The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that,” said Loki before turning to Tony.  “What have I to fear?”

Tony quickly finished the bourbon and set the glass on the bar before walking towards Loki.

“The Avengers.”

Loki right eye twitched at Tony’s words.

“So you know of us?” smiled Tony, seeing the slight flicker of doubt in the man’s demeanor.

Loki’s eye twitched again and he scowled.

“Yes, we’ve met, as you know.”

Tony let out a fake chuckle before snapping his fingers and pointing at Loki, “yes!  Germany!  How could I forget the first time we met? How foolish of me!  I’m sorry sweetheart.”

Tony was playing with fire but then again the permanent twitch that seemed to be affecting Loki’s eye was well worth the risk.     

“Let’s take a head count here.  Your brother, the demi-God.  A couple of super solider, living legends, both of which live up to the legend.  A man with breath-taking anger management issues and a couple of master assassins.”

Tony watched as Loki’s frown grew deeper and deeper as every member of the Avenger’s team was listed.

“And you big fella,” pointed out Tony, “managed to piss off every single one of them.”

Loki smirk found its way back onto his face.

“Well, that was the plan.”

“Well it was a horrible plan,” said Tony no longer smiling as he allowed his face to show every bit of hatred he held for Loki. 

“You killed our friend,” grounded out Tony.  “And we will avenge his death.”

Loki smiled at his words, not even batting an eyelash at Tony’s threat as he slowly walked up to Tony, raising his scepter.

“How will your friends have time for me, when they are so busy fighting you?”

Loki quickly raised his scepter towards Tony, too quick for Tony to move.  The tip of the scepter was millimeters from his chest as the scepter began to glow blue.

**PING!**

Loki looked down at the scepter as it rested against Tony’s arch reactor.  He stared down at Tony’s chest with confusion before trying again.

**PING!”**

“It should work,” growled out Loki in frustration.

Tony smirked as he stared down at the scepter on his chest before looking up to Loki.

“Well, performance issues.  You know?  It’s not that uncommon, 1 out of 5…”

His condescending words were quickly silenced as Loki grabbed Tony by the throat and lifted him off the ground.

Tony gasped for breath as he reached up towards his ear and activated his coms.

 ** _“A little help here,”_** he choked out.

Loki snarled in anger as he walked towards the window with Tony tangling in the air.

“You will all fall before me!” 

Loki screamed in rage one last time before throwing Tony into the window, the glass shattering upon impact. 

Time began to slow and Tony began to fall. 

* * *

 

 ** _“A little help here!”_** echoed in her coms.

Her glasses zoomed into Stark Tower just in enough time to see Tony’s body crash through the window.

All fear of being able to control the Nightfall quickly disappeared as she flattened her body into a deep dive.  The cold air rushed past her as she accelerated faster towards Tony and in a matter of seconds she was only hundred yards away from the man.

It took all Maria’s self-control to not look into broken window, where she knew Loki was standing, most likely taking a sick pleasure in watching Tony fall to his death.

Tony was only about fifty yards from the ground now, and Maria felt a slight twinge of panic flow through her body at the thought of not being able to reach him in time.  Gritting her teeth she pushed the Nighfall to its max speed, the force of the air that was being pushed in her face was making it hard to breathe even in her mask.

Thirty yards from the ground – she was so close to him.

Twenty yards from the ground – she was reaching out, as her fingertips were grazing his back.

Ten yards from the ground – she wrapped a firm hand around his chest from behind, while turning, with Tony in her arms so that her back was facing the ground.  A split second later she was activating her boosters. 

Closing her eyes she prepared for the impact, just in case the boosters would not step them in time.

Suddenly, she felt the boosters activate and the abrupt stoppage of their free fall had Tony jerking in her arms.  He slipped form her grip slightly but she quickly increased the pressure around his chest stopping him from slipping from her grasp.

The Nightfall fought against the rapid stoppage and it took all of Maria’s self-control to not lose control.

The feeling of her feet connecting hard with the concrete almost had her falling to her knees, but the wings at her back and being conscious of Tony in her arms had her fighting to stay up right.

The sound of the concrete cracking under her feet could barely be heard over her mind screaming out in pain, as her legs shattered upon the impact.  The pain was overwhelming but the feeling of the Aether flowing towards the pain source, mending broken bones and torn tendons could be felt only seconds later. 

Just as the last echo of the pain from her legs drifted away Maria finally allowed herself to breathe.  The adrenaline coursing through her veins had her ears ringing.

“Ugh…Commander…” could be barely heard over the ringing in her ears however it was starting to fade. 

“Maria!”

The ringing stopped instantly and Maria jumped at her name and the close proximity of the yelling.  She blinked and stared forward to see Tony grimacing in pain but he was staring at her with a concerned gaze.

“Maria, I seriously can’t breathe,” he gasped out as he fought against her hold but not budging in her arms.

Maria’s eyes shot wide and she instantly let him go and stepped back from him, her wings retracting into the pack, just as Tony fell to his knees letting in deep breaths of air.

The sound of another glass breaking up in Stark Tower had Maria pulling her gaze away from Tony to see the sight of a Red and Gold pod flying towards Tony.

“Now it activates!” growled out Tony not even looking up at the object that was flying towards him at a rapid pace.

He sighed just as he turned to see the object flyting towards him, the pods laser signals connected with the colantotte bracelets on Tony’s wrists.  Groaning, Tony pushed himself to his feet and stood to face Maria just as the pod opened, transforming into the Mark VII suit before latching onto Tony. 

Within seconds the suit was fully latched in place and Ironman stood before Maria.

Tony rotated his head, almost as if he was cracking his neck before rolling his shoulders.  He must have deemed the suit ready because he stepped forward.

“Nice catch Commander,” he nodded towards her before looking up at the broken window.  He activated his sensors to zoom up to the broken window to see Loki staring down at them from the window before turning to Maria.

“I think we lost our element of surprise, why don’t we go say hello?” 

He didn’t wait for Maria’s acknowledgement of his words before activating his boosters and flying up to the broken window.

Maria watched as he shot up from the ground before activating her wings.  Pushing herself off the ground with her legs, she activated the boosters and was soon right behind him. 

She caught up to Tony just as he stopped at the open window.  He was already holding out a hand towards Loki, his booster burning brightly.

“And there’s one other person you pissed off!” growled out Tony. 

Maria stopped next to him, activating the double gatling guns on her shoulders.  The look of surprise on Loki’s face as he saw her was almost worth following Steve and Thor’s advice about her being the element of surprise.

“His name was Phil,” growled Maria before firing. 

She watched as bullets pushed Loki back a few feet, but coupled with the blaster that fired from Tony’s hand, Loki was flinging back across the room.

Hate and anger flowed through Maria’s very being as she imagined crushing Loki’s windpipe with her bare hand.  She moved to enter the building but the sound of an ear piercing surge of energy had her stopping.

Both of them looked to the sky to see the Tesseract had activated. 

An energy beam shot into the sky.  The beam of light seemed to be collecting energy at its very peak and Maria watched as a Vortex began to open and through its opening came the Chitauri.

The Chitauri looked like the monsters every child feared were living under their bed.  Their skeletal features gave off haunting look but it was their strong reptilian appearance that really seemed to give the grey human shaped aliens their true monstrous quality. 

Maria could barely contain the horror from making its way onto her face as an army came flying through the portal.  The Chitauri were flying on what looked like chariots, and the chariots were armed as they were shooting blue plasma based energy down onto the helpless crowds gathering beneath them.

**_“Right.  An Army.”_ **

Tony’s voice echoed in her coms as she turned to her right to see him opening up his shoulder plates to expose his miniature rocker launcher before flyting up to meet the army head on.

Maria watched him as he flew towards the portal, firing his missiles at as many as he could target.  The Chitauri were exploding all around him but as soon as Tony took out one, five more would come down from the portal. 

Maria brought her gaze from Tony and turned back to Stark Tower.  Loki was groaning as he moved to his knees.  Maria made to move towards him, the hate that coursed through her body telling her to finish him off.

**_“Commander, a little help here.”_ **

Tony’s voice sounded in her coms stopping her from moving fully into Stark Tower as she brought her gaze back to the sky to see Tony barely evading a group of Chitauri targeting him. 

Maria grimaced and brought her gaze back to Loki, whom was still struggling to his feet, clearly in pain. 

Loki must have sensed her presence because he brought his gaze up from the ground, his black hair framing his face as he gave her a self-satisfied smirk, daring her to come after him. 

Maria growled as she made to move towards him, with every intention of wiping that smirk of his face – forever. 

**_“Commander.”_ **

Tony’s voice was a little panicked and it had her freezing in her tracks.  She brought her gaze away from Loki to see Tony trying to evade the Chitauri tails that he had picked up.  The noticeable scorch marks on his suit signaled to her that he had taken some hits as well. 

Maria growled in frustration and was seconds away from activating her boosters to help Tony but the sound of a Quinjet engine fast approaching had her turning in its direction.

The Quinjet flew by her in a blur but she could have sworn she saw Barton in the cockpit giving her a nod and a smirk before flying towards the portal opening. 

Barton’s voice echoed in her coms as the Quinjet machine gun lowered from plates at the bottom of the aircraft.

**_“We got Tony covered Hill, you concentrate on Loki.”_ **

The Quinjet’s machine gun open fired on the Chitauri surrounding Tony, giving Ironman some much needed breathing room.  The action however drew the Chitauri’s attention towards the Quinjet and Maria watched as Barton was barely able to evade their shots. 

To her relief however, it looked as if Barton is able to hold his own against the Chitauri.   Tony seemed to recognize this as well, as he had taken to sticking close to the Quinjet, picking off any stragglers that the Quinjet’s machine gun hasn’t taken out. 

**_“Where have you guys been at?! Did you stop for drive-thru?!”_ **

Tony sounded sarcastically in her ear as he continued following the Quinjet through the maze of skyscrapers and buildings.  Barton and Tony were a formidable pair and the Chitauri didn’t seem to stand a chance against the duo. 

It’s useless however Maria noted, because what the Chitauri lacked in battle skills they more than made up for it in sheer numbers, as thousands more Chitauri flew out of the portal and towards the city. 

There were too many civilians in the streets as they watched the alien war raging above them.  Maria’s glasses were zoomed in onto the civilians just as the Chitauri unleased their weapons onto the crowd.  The looks of horror on their faces just before they were consumed in the explosions that rained down on them from above will be forever engrained into her mind.

A chuckle, deep and menacing however pulled her eyes from the domino effect explosions that ripped through the city. 

Loki was on the balcony of Stark Tower now, his smile increasing at the sound of the screams below. 

Fury swirled in Maria’s chest at the sight.  What kind of person took pleasure in so much death? 

Fully prepared to wipe that smile off Loki’s face with her fist, Maria stepped forward but the sound of a whoosh of air and the crash of feet on concrete pulled her gaze away from Loki to the sight of Thor standing next to the tesseract. 

“Loki!” bellowed out Thor, gathering his brother’s attention.  “Turn off the Tesseract or I will destroy it!”

Loki lost his smile at the appearance of his brother, as his eyes rapidly shifted between Maria and Thor, recognizing that he was at a disadvantage.   Rolling his shoulders, almost as if he were willing his confidence back, Loki turned to his brother, yet made sure to not fully lose sight of Maria. 

“You can’t!” yelled out Loki, his eyes moving toward the Tesseract and then to his brother.  “There is no stopping it!  There is only war!”

Even from this distance Maria could see the great sadness that entered Thor’s eyes at his brother’s words.  Thor wore his heart on his sleeve, and the love the man still held for his brother seemed to finally break at Loki’s words.  There would be no swaying Loki from his plan.

According to legends, Loki and Thor had fought battles side by side for thousands of years.  The two were formidable warriors, working together to conquer armies and beasts alike.  Yet, here they were.  Instead of literal brothers in arms, they were now adversaries. 

Sadness gave wake to hardness in Thor’s deep blue eyes at the exact time Thor’s body language morphed into an attacking position. 

“So be it, brother,” murmured Thor, eyeing Loki for a split second before leaping forward. 

Hammer and scepter crashed together in a fury of sparks.

Maria noted the hesitance in Thor’s attack, and the way Loki seemed to be attacking in blind rage at his brother.  This was more than just a battle.  Loki was unleashing all his jealousy and pent up rage at his brother, and Thor, had little choice but to defend himself and throw out halfhearted swings with his hammer.

Maria knew this was a dangerous situation.  Even in his declaration to fight against his brother, it could be clearly seen that Thor did not want to really hurt his Loki.  With every strike against him, the obvious lack of attack at Loki just seemed to anger Loki further. 

Maria moved forward, prepared to do what Thor could not, and take the burden from his shoulders. 

Maria was just a hair late, from stopping Loki from firing an energy beam from his scepter towards his brother.  She watched helplessly as it connected with Thor’s chest, throwing the man forcefully across the concrete to then then crash into the wall of the building with a sickening crack. 

Growling in anger, Maria moved forward, swinging her fist as hard as she could at the demigod. 

Loki moved quickly, barely avoiding her fist, but unable to miss the follow up kick to his chest as he was launched back from the force. 

Gathering his bearings, Loki looked up to Maria to where stood.  The smile was back in place, before he sent a small glance over his shoulder to still see an immobile Thor.  Bringing his gaze forward, he fully squared his body towards Maria before launching in an attack. 

Maria moved up and quickly activated her wings, spinning out of the attack, allowing the scepter bounce of the wings before launching forward, trying to get close enough to Loki so that his weapon would be useless.

A flurry of kicks and punches were exchanged, as Loki fought desperately to put separation between the two, but Maria refused to give the man any move to breathe.  A well placed combination found its mark as Maria landed a solid fist to Loki’s chest and followed it up with a crack across the man’s jaw. 

A snarl of frustration left Loki’s lips, as the man worked his jaw.  His nose scrunched up as his jaw worked in a circular motion, before the man spit on the ground.  His eyes shot wide at the sight of his blood staining the concrete at his feet. 

Maria smirked, wondering how long it has been since the demigod had last bled in battle.  Judging by the look on his face, it had been a long time. 

The smirk on her face however was short lived; as Loki turned on her with a feral rage that almost seemed like an attack in its own before the man threw himself forward. 

His scepter swung through the air and Maria blocked it once again with her wings, but Loki was expecting the move and reached out to grab her other wing, holding it in place and stopping her from being able to fully move.  Growling in frustration, Maria blindly swung at the Loki, her heart dropping at the sight of Loki’s eyes lighting up at her action. 

Loki’s firm hand on her wing took her by such a surprise that she didn’t see Loki drop his scepter until it was too late.  The demigod reached forward now with his free hand and caught her fist in his large hand, before moving forwards and grabbing her forearm in a firm grip. 

She was helpless to stop what she knew was coming.  Loki’s strength was superior to hers, and he had her pinned.  All she could do was watch as Loki gave her a bloody smile before ripping her arm at a harsh angle.  The resounding snap of her bone seemed to echo far louder than the sounds of the explosion that rocked the city. 

* * *

 

Inside the Quinjet, Natasha looked down at in horror to see Loki break Maria’s arm before following it up with a kick to the woman’s chest that sent her across the balcony.  Maria body skidded across the floor, stopping only inches from the edge.

“Clint…” growled out Natasha, not having to finish her sentence as she felt the Quinjet turn towards Stark Tower.

“Yeah, I got them,” he answered her, knowing exactly what needed to be done.  He activated the machine gun and quickly took aim at Loki. 

Loki however, once again had the upper hand and before Barton could fire Loki turned on them with lightning speed and fired his scepter at the Quinjet. 

The shot was fired at such a rapid speed Barton knew he was unable to dodge it.

“Shit!” he yelled out, pulling up on the controls, and steered the more vulnerable part of the Quinjet out of the way of the shot.  The Quinjet shook violently as the energy beam hit the wing, destroying it upon impact.

Natasha barely caught the sight of Thor tackling Loki to the ground right before the Quinjet began to spin out of control.  She flinched at the loud warning bells echoing throughout the cockpit before reaching forward and grabbing the steering, attempting to help Clint with the rapidly falling Quinjet. 

“Not good…not good…” mumbled Barton reaching up and flicking switches rapidly and pushing buttons but all his actions seemed to do was just stop the warning sounds.   

Natasha looked to her left to see Clint gritting his teeth as his eyes rapidly moved looked out the window of the Quinjet to the surroundings before reaching up to activate his coms.

**_“We are coming in too hot! Brace for impact!"_ **

Natasha shifted in her seat, fighting against the urge to tense her muscles as her eyes sought the rapidly approaching ground.  They were only 100 feet from the ground and she knew it was only a matter of seconds before they crashed. 

Suddenly, a black blur shot by across the window and a loud thump sounded at the front of the Quinjet. Natasha looked to the nose of the aircraft to see black wings extending outward.  Her eyes quickly sought out the body that she knew was attached to them and soon found Maria’s head just peaking over the nose of the Quinjet. 

Natasha leaned forward even more, almost as if her body couldn’t help but attempt to be closer to Maria.  Maria was shaking, and Natasha could see the women’s muscles contracting against the nose of the Quinjet. 

What was Maria doing?

“She is slowing us down,” said Clint to her left and Natasha didn’t need to turn to see him to know he was in awe of Maria’s strength – it could be heard clearly in his voice. 

Seconds felt like minutes, until finally the Quinjet crashed into with the ground.  Natasha and Clint jerked in their seats at the impact, each one letting out a little groan at the straps of the pilot seats digging harshly into their skin.  The last of the resounding crack of the Quinjet as it skidded into a building echoed through the aircraft before the only sound that reached their ears was distant explosions. 

Natasha shook her head, trying to clear away the heaviness in her mind from the crash.  She was surprised to find that besides the ringing in her head and the stiffness in her chest, she was overall not injured.  The crash at that altitude should have torn the cockpit apart, yet here both she and Clint were, alive and unscathed. 

Just as Natasha’s head cleared, she suddenly remembered why the Quinjet wasn’t in pieces as her mind remembered the black haired woman clinging to the front of the aircraft. Moving forward quickly, grunting as her body crashed against the harnesses still in place, Natasha eyes rapidly scanned the front of the Quinjet looking for Maria, only to find the woman nowhere in sight. 

Panic began to rise in her chest at the thought of where the woman was.  Did she get sucked under the plane with the crash?  Willing her fingers to move, Natasha frantically unbuckled her harness before launching to her feet.  Thankfully, Steve was already on his feet and opening the back hatch just as Natasha passed him to run at break neck speed out the hatch. 

“Natasha,” called out Steve worriedly, most likely noting that Natasha had thrown herself into a battlefield without even giving a single glance to her surroundings. 

Natasha ignored his call as she whipped her body around the Quinjet hatch to move up to the front.  Narrowly, she avoided an energy beam that was shot from a Chitauri at her left.  The sound of an arrow slicing through the air reached her ears as she continued pushing forward.  She reached the front of the aircraft just as the thump of a large body hitting the ground echoed behind her. 

Natasha eyes instantly went under the Quinjet, praying she would not find the mangled body of Maria pinned beneath it.  The sight of crumbled concrete was the only thing that greeted her eyes however, and the sigh of relief that reverberated up and through her lips slowed the panic in her chest.  Scanning the surrounding area, she desperately searched for any sign of the woman. 

Her eyes moved so frantically over the destroyed city that she almost missed the lone figure laying 30 feet away in the middle of an abandoned street.  The panic was back, fueling her frantically beating heart as Natasha took off towards the prone body. 

She reached the woman in a matter of seconds, and the sight before her brought her too her knees.  Maria was on her side, her wings folded across her body, almost cocooning her like a shield.  There was a large amount of blood on her head, but no sign of any injury. 

Relief flooded Natasha at the sight, the blood was everywhere but no injury meant she was healing – that she was alive. 

Reaching forward, she moved Maria to her back, leaning back to allow the large wings to also move to the other side of the woman.  Natasha quickly scanned the woman’s body for any other injury.  Maria was clearly unconscious, and there was notable blood splatter all over the woman’s exposed arms.  The sight of an exposed bone on her forearm where Loki had broken her arm however caused her stomach to turn. 

Reaching forward Natasha unsnapped Maria’s mask, thankful to feel the woman’s breath as soon mask came loose.  Shaky fingers gently stoked Maria’s face, concentrating on the warmth at her fingertips, before Natasha spoke.

“Maria,” gasped out Natasha, willing herself to stay strong. 

There was no response to her words and Natasha’s gentle strokes turned firmer.

“Come on Maria, wake up,” demanded Natasha. 

Still no response. 

Natasha started to panic, as her hands were now lightly slapping Maria’s face.

“Maria!” hissed Natasha, tears blurring her vision. 

“What were you thinking, trying to stop a plane from crashing!  You are not Superman, Maria!  You are not impenetrable!”

With each passing second with no response from Maria, Natasha began to fall further and further into her panic induced mind. 

“Come on you idiot!” growled out Natasha in frustration, following it up with a harsh hit to Maria’s face.  “Wake up so I can beat you back into unconsciousness.”

Suddenly, a gasp of breath sounded and Maria shot to a sitting position in such a flurry of movement that Natasha barley avoided being head-butt. 

Large gulps of air were being taken in through Maria’s mouth as the woman, frantically started looking around her surroundings before landing on Natasha. 

“Did…you…just…hit…me?” gasped out Maria, grimacing as her free hand came up to cradle her rips. 

Natasha was on her butt now, watching the love of her life breathing.  Green eyes watched the rise and fall of Maria’s chest for a few more moments, before the woman’s words fully processed in Natasha’s mind. 

Leaning forward, Natasha’s eyes traced over Maria’s face before settling on the redness on the woman’s cheek bone.

“Yes well,” whispered Natasha coming forward to her knees as she reached up to lightly trace over the red spot that was rapidly healing beneath her finger tips.   

“You weren’t listening,” deadpanned Natasha, unable to hold the smile from forming on her lips as Maria let out a deep chuckle at the words. 

The two sat there in comfortable silence for a moment, each one tuned into the sounds of each other’s breaths.  They were both alive. 

The sound of footsteps behind them had both Natasha and Maria looking over Natasha’s shoulder to see Clint, Steve, Bruce and Thor all running towards them.  The four men skidded to a halt, each one’s eyes shining in notable relief at the sight of Maria sitting up on her own. 

Steve eyes traced over her body, his eyes stopping on the notable broken arm before stepping forward. 

“Why isn’t it healing?” he asked moving forward to kneel on the other side of Maria.

Maria followed his eyes to look down at her arm, grimacing at the sight before looking back up at the man.  “I think it needs to be set before it will heal,” gritted out Maria, before offering the arm up to Steve.

Steve looked at the offered arm, his mouth set into a grim line at what was being asked of him before letting out a breath and nodding. 

“On three,” said the man reaching forward and grabbing Maria’s wrist, ignoring the pained moan that tore through Maria’s throat at his grip. 

“Just do it,” ordered Maria gritting her teeth, as she blindly reached out with her good arm to grab Natasha’s hand.   

Steve nodded, and a half a second later he was wrenching her arm back and putting the bone back in place. 

Maria let out a cry, making sure to not break Natasha’s hand under her grip but still gathering strength from the firm grip that Natasha gave back. 

Letting out a loud gasping breath’s Maria fought against the pain in her arm, before finally she felt the Aether moving towards the wound.  Letting out sigh at the feeling of her arm healing she gave Natasha’s hand a firm squeeze before letting go and bringing her hand up to wipe away at the few tears that had dripped from her eyes. 

“You good?” questioned Steve, watching her cautiously.

A nod was all Maria gave, and it seemed it was all Steve needed, because the man was pulling back and turning to Thor. 

“What’s the story upstairs?” Thor grimaced at the question and gave a subtle nod to Stark Tower.

“The powers surrounding the cube is impenetrable.”

Natasha got to her feet and offered her hand to Maria, which Maria quickly took and heaved herself up. 

Activating her wings to retreat in her pack, Maria took in the destruction around them and the Chitauri that seemed to be everywhere. ** _“_**

**_Thor is right.  We gotta deal with these guys.”_ **

Tony’s voice echoed in everyone’s ear.

“Okay,” nodded Natasha stepping forward, her eyes shooting between Maria and Steve. 

“How do we do this?”

Maria and Steve exchanged a look, each one silently assessing the other before Maria finally nodded at the man as she stepped forward to address everyone.

“As a team.”

They all stood around each other, soaking in Maria’s words and the gravity of what they were about to do.  **_“_**

**_Well as sentimental as that is, it’s time for everyone to put their big boy and big girl pants on because I’m about to bring the party to you.”_ **

Tony’s mocking voice echoed in their ears, just as the man himself flew around building down the street. 

Ironman was flying directly towards them, just as a monstrous flying Leviathan crashed around the building few seconds later, clearly chasing the man in the suit. 

Everyone’s eyes shot wide at the sight as they all stumbled back in shock. 

Reaching up Maria brought her free hand up and snapped her mask back in place just as she activated her wings.  She could hear the rest of the Avengers moving into an attack position. 

Natasha stepped around Maria’s wings, eyeing the Leviathan with wide eyes before turning and giving Maria a playful look. 

“I don’t see how that is a party.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well what did you think? I know it wasn't worth the wait, as it has been like 5 months, but was it at least good? lol Let me know!


	20. We Never Left You Either, Cap

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am back! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter! I look forward to hearing what you think!

The Leviathan was flying towards them, crashing through the buildings and causing debris to fall down to the streets where panicked civilians still attempted to seek cover. Maria watched the scene with a grim frown, which was thankfully not shown behind her mask. Reaching up, Maria activated her wings to fold into its pack before turning to Bruce

“Ready to unleash our beasts?”

Bruce startled at her voice, his eyes too seemed to be locked on the monster flying towards them before turning towards Maria.

Turmoil and nervousness swam in his eyes.

“Promise me,” he said, with a begging tone.

Maria’s heart tugged painfully within her chest at the pleading in Bruce’s voice. He didn’t need to expand on what he was asking from her – Maria knew.

Giving the man a nod, and putting as much conviction she could possibly muster into her voice, Maria responded.

“I got you, as long as you got me.”

Bruce and Maria continued to stare at each other for a few more moments,. They were both before each other, clearly concerned that their inner monsters would take control but still they attempted trying to put faith in the other to keep them grounded.

Finally Bruce nodded and started walking forward, his eyes on the Leviathan.

Maria watched him go, and the sight was truly something Maria was certain she would never forget from this day on. Dr. Bruce Banner, a man who looked nothing more than common civilian, was walking purposely down a destroyed road directly towards a flying alien the length of a football field. He walked forward with purpose, his gate never faltering. Bruce, a man who usually looked like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, now resembled a free man – he was no longer carrying the world, instead it looked as if the world was carrying him towards the very monster hell bent on destroying it.

“Stay back and get ready,” ordered Maria to the rest of the Avengers as she jogged forward to catch up to Bruce before activating her coms.

_**“Get ready Tony.”** _

She just reached Bruce, neither one of them giving each other so much as a passing glance as they both began to increase their pace, breaking into a sprint.

As the grunts of pain sounded from her left, signaling to Maria that Bruce started his transformation – it was time to start hers as well.   Reaching deep within herself, Maria allowed her consciousness to travel into that usually much guarded part of herself where she somehow knows the Aether has settled. It wasn’t in its cage, but rather floating stationary, almost as if it knew she was coming.

Maria eyed the substance with disdain, just as the distant growling of the Hulk invaded her ears. The time for hating the Aether was not now – now she needed it.

“I am in control,” growled out Maria at the Aether, knowing in the back of her mind she was also not only saying this to the Aether, but also to herself. Reaching forward she grabbed the Aether.  There was no turning back now.  

The power that instantly flowed through her was all encompassing, and it took everything within her not to surrender to its power.

Opening her eyes, Maria instantly recognized that the earth shattering steps of the Hulk crashing into the ground next to her seemed to sync up perfectly with the power thumping just beneath her skin. The Hulk and Maria were moving at a frantic pace, running like a blur through the city street just as the Leviathan dived down to face the two head on.

The three _monsters_ were seconds away from crashing together but just before the contact, Maria risked a glance to her left and it seemed the Hulk was on the same page as he too was looking at her. The two shared the briefest of moments, before looking forward – but not before Maria caught an actual smirk on Hulk’s face. 

The Leviathan had bottomed out on the road now, shaking the floor beneath their feet to the point it almost caused Maria’s pace to falter.

The Hulk growled next to her and Maria gritted her teeth in preparation for the impact.

Like two perfectly synced warriors that had been training together for years, Maria and the Hulk brought their fists down on top of the Leviathan head and forced their feet into the ground. The Leviathan’s force and strength alone pushed Maria and the Hulk back, but they both refused to falter as the concrete below them crumbled under their feet.

Maria gritted her teeth and pushed the Aether forward into her hands before channeling the power to push down even harder, and the Hulk soon followed. This time, with their combined strength they succeeded in stopping the Leviathan in its tracks, forcing the beast to buckle and fling forward.

Maria didn’t need to look up to know that Tony had fired his missiles, and the explosion that followed let her know she was right. Knowing what was soon about to follow, Maria activated her wings and held them above herself, protecting her from the blown up pieces of the alien that soon came crashing down on her.

Maria waited for the last of the sounds of chunks of alien crashing through the city to follow but just as the last sound of a chuck bounced off a car echoed, another sound – more haunting invaded her ears. The Chitauri were crying out in rage all around them, and Maria folded back her wing to stare around the city. The Chitauri were hanging off the sky scrapers, their masks removed and their skeletal faces screaming down in rage at Avengers.

_**“Guys.”** _

Natasha’s voice rang in her coms just as a shadow moved over the city. Maria brought her eyes away from the Chitauri and up to the portal and her heart dropped. Thousands of more Chitauri soldiers and a handful more of Leviathan were coming down from the sky.

Maria heard Ironman land behind her before his voice rang in her coms.

_**“Call it, Commander.”** _

Maria turned at his voice and found the Avengers all gathered around her.

She met the gaze of each one of them before speaking.

“Alright, listen up.”

Maria’s voice rang with authority, and it almost sounded foreign on her tongue. The last time she used it was all those years ago, and on a team that no longer walked this world.

“Until we close that portal up there, we’re going to use containment.”

The Avengers nodded all around her, as Maria turned to Hawkeye.

“Barton, I want you on that roof,” Maria paused to point towards a high-rise that provided a great vantage point to the center of the impending battle. “I want you to call out patterns and strays.”

Maria then turned to Ironman.

“Tony, you have the perimeter. Anything that gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash.”

“Yes sir,” said Tony, giving her a playful smirk before triggering his face mask back down just as he turned to Barton.

“Want to give me a lift?” asked Barton, on the same page with the man.  

Tony nodded before stepping forward and grabbing the arrow holster on Barton’s back.

“Better clench up, Logolas,” teased Tony before shooting up into the sky.

Maria’s enhanced glasses allowed her to the see the white of Barton’s eye roll before he disappeared out of sight. Turning towards the rest of the group, Maria’s mind continued planning out the coming war.

“Thor,” said Maria gathering the man’s attention. “I want you to try and bottleneck that portal. Slow them down. You’ve got the lightning, light those bastards up.”

Thor nodded, before swinging Mjölnir in his hand for a few seconds to then leap and fly towards a high rise right below the portal.

Turning towards the last remaining Avengers, Maria looked towards the Hulk while calling out his name.

“Bruce,” she said purposely using the man’s name, reminding the Hulk of who he was.

The Hulk turned on her, and Maria could thankfully see Bruce in the Hulk’s eyes. The two stared at each other for a few moments, each one ensuring they are in control of their inner monsters. Finally, deeming that they were both okay, Maria gave the order.

“Smash.”

The Hulk actually grinned at her words, before leaping into the air and straight at the Chitauri soldiers hanging off the closest buildings. Maria didn’t need to turn around to know the Hulk was indeed smashing through the Chitauri. Instead, she turned to Steve and Natasha.

“We are staying on the ground and keeping the fight here. We need to keep the attention on us and away from the civilians.”

Both Steve and Natasha nodded at her words, just as a group Chitauri that made their way  through Tony, Thor, Barton and the Hulk.

If Maria thought her and Hulk were on the same page against the Leviathan, then they were nothing compared to how well Natasha, Steve and her worked together. Maybe it was because of the advanced tactical training they all received, or maybe they were all beginning to develop a stronger personal connection to each other.  Whatever it was, they fought as if they were one entity. Maria was the head, calling out patterns and targets, and Steve and Natasha were the hands and feet carrying out her orders, almost before she even gave them.

They were like a machine, tearing easily through the Chitauri soldiers one by one.  But after some time, it became apparent that even with their supreme battle skills, Maria knew tell their efforts were futile. Where one Chitauri would fall, five more would take its place.

A pained grunt echoed from behind her, and Maria turned to see Natasha leaning heavily against a car and cradling her ribs with an angry glare directed at one particular Chitauri.  Maria stepped forward to help, but Natasha was already launching at the alien in the same fashion she did to Maria the first day they met. Natasha ran up the Chitauri’s body, wrapping her legs around its head before taking it down to the ground all while grabbing that hidden knife in her belt.

However, unlike when Natasha performed that same move on Maria, _this_ knife was buried in the Chitauri’s throat killing it.

Maria unloaded her clip from her handgun all around her, placing 10 perfect head shots at the surrounding Chitauri before stepping forward towards Natasha.

She was within five feet of the woman, before Natasha turned on her with a flurry of movements all while throwing a Chitauri blood covered knife at her head. Maria didn’t even have time to move, and all she could do is wait for her impending death. Instead, she felt it graze her ear, slicing the skin before sailing by her head. Maria turned and watched the knife continue to sail right by her before burying into the head of a Chitauri that had snuck up behind her.

Maria stared down at the dead Chitauri with a knife sticking out of its head for a few moments before turning on Natasha.

“That hit me,” accused Maria stepping forward, while reaching up and touching her ear that was already healed beneath her fingertips, just as Natasha shakily got to her feet.

Natasha threw her a look, and let out a dry chuckle.

“But did it?”

Maria stepped further forward, unclasping her mask and showing Natasha her smirk.

“Yes, it actually did,” teased Maria indicating to her ear.

Natasha smiled, and stepped forward into Maria’s personal space before doing an exaggerated look at Maria’s ear.

“Huh, that’s funny. I don’t see a mark.”

Maria gave her an exasperated look, before looking at their surroundings.   Her new glasses allowing her to zoom in down the street to the new approaching wave of Chitauri. Letting out a tired sigh, she gave Natasha a frown, letting the woman know their playful banter was done before reaching forward and snapping her mask closed.

“None of this is going to mean a damn thing if we don’t close that portal,” growled out Maria stepping forward and positioning herself towards the new wave of Chitauri.

She felt Natasha move to her left, and Steve stand on her right.

“Our biggest guns couldn’t touch it,” said Natasha, the grim frown on her face was identical to the one that lay hidden Maria’s mask.

“Well, maybe it’s not about guns,” said Steve, his eyes traveling up towards the flying chariots sailing above them.

Maria turned on him, recognizing her tone and picking up the man’s plan.

“If you want to get up there, then you’re going to need a ride,” pointed out Maria.

Steve gave her a smile, before looking up at the chariots flying over them.

“I got a ride,” said Steve backing up, but his eyes kept going up to the chariots flying over them. “I could use a lift though.”

Maria shook her head at him, but it didn’t stop her from bringing her wing forward and bracing her arms under it.

“Are you sure about this?”

Steve gave her that famous Captain America smile before nodding.

“Yeah. It’s going to be fun.”

As soon as the words left his mouth he took off running at Maria. Just as he reached her, he launched up in the air to land on her wing and Maria gave him the extra boost he needed to fly in the air and grab the back of flying chariot passing by.

Maria and Natasha turned and watched him go, watching as he fought his way through the Chitauri before finally commandeering the chariot and flying towards Stark Tower.

“Don’t ever tell him I said this, but that was impressive,” said Natasha, her eyes narrowed in on Steve as he disappeared into the distance.

Maria chuckled at Natasha’s words but any further discussion was interrupted by Baron’s voice in her coms.

_**“Commander, the bank on 42nd past Madison, these bastards have caught up a lot of civilians and are holding them there.”** _

Maria growled at Barton’s words before turning towards Natasha.

“I am with you,” nodded Natasha, fury shining brightly in her eyes.

Maria gave her a stiff nod before reaching up and activating her coms.

**_“We’re on it.”_ **

* * *

When Maria and Natasha arrived at the bank the two had already formulated their plan. Natasha would take out the soldiers in the balcony and Maria would get the civilians out of there as fast as she could, while protecting them gunfire with her wings.

Taking out the lone Chitauri soldier guarding the door was easy, as Maria made her way into the bank. Sneaking around the pillars surrounding the civilians, Maria waited for the sound of Natasha making her move.

Sneaking a glance around the pillar, she looked up to the balcony where she saw three Chitauri soldiers pointing their weapons at the civilians, while a fourth alien was furiously fidgeting with something that resembled a bomb. Maria grimaced, and silently cursed Natasha to scale the building faster.

Maria chanced a look to the civilians, trying to make a quick head count of what they were dealing with. She got halfway through the crowd, when she suddenly noticed a small child at the middle, held in his father’s arms staring back at her. The boy was looking at her with terrified tear filled eyes. The child looked seconds away from screaming, and it was then Maria remembered that her skull mask was probably scaring him.

Reaching forward, she unclasped her mask and showed him her face before bringing her finger up to her lips. The boy looked at her confused, no longer terrified as he sat up into his father’s arms to get a better look at her.

Suddenly, the sound of a window breaking and fighting breaking out on the balcony sounded and Maria made her move. Snapping her mask back on, Maria activated her wings and hovered in the air, instantly garnering the attention of civilians closest to her.

“Get to the entrance now,” boomed Maria.

The civilians all started screaming at her presence but thankfully started moving. Maria watched them go for a few seconds before bringing her gaze back up to the balcony to see a Chitauri soldier that was not engaged with Natasha take aim on the civilians. He was pointing directly at the man and his son, running at the back of the mob to the door.

Flying forward, Maria threw herself in front of the pair just as the shots started ringing out. Maria barely felt the shots ping off her wings, but she did feel the three shots she took the back of the legs. Maria let out a pained groan at the feeling of her flesh being torn open but stood her ground, until finally the sound of a body colliding into another sounded over the bullets and the shots stopped.

Maria took a few controlling breaths, to overcome the pain as she felt her body heal. Looking up, she saw the young boy once more, his face only inches from her – staring at her with wide eyes of amazement.

The moment was short lived as the boy’s father turned and stared at her wide eyes, before looking at her with a similar face as his sons.

“Thank you,” he gasped out, reaching up and squeezing his son tighter, almost as he was reassuring himself that his child was still there and not hurt.

Maria gave the man a nod, before speaking.

“Go,” she ordered him. “Once you get out on to the streets you find the nearest officer and you ask for shelter. Do not move once you are there.”

The man’s eyes widened even further before giving her a nod, and turning to run out the door. The little boy, now facing her again perked up from his father’s shoulders to stare at her. Maria barely registered the smile and wave from the little guy before his father disappeared around the corner.

“Maria!”

The panic in Natasha’s voice was evident and Maria was jumping in the air towards the balcony without a second thought. As she reached the balcony, time seemed to slow and it was then Maria knew why Natasha called out to her.

Natasha was engaged in a hand to hand battle with the last Chitauri solider, but it was the clearly mortally wounded alien on the ground fumbling with the bomb that instantly drew her eye. Maria’s heightened senses instantly picked up on the countdown like beeps that were coming from the bomb, and in her mind she knew it was too late – the bomb was set.

Maria was moving once more, pushing her body to its limit. She was half way to Natasha when she heard the explosion and felt the heat on her back. It didn’t stop her from pushing forward and barreling into Natasha.  Wrapping her arms around the woman, Maria knew that the force of her tackle probably cracked a few of Natasha’s ribs, but it was a necessary pain. Broken ribs Natasha could live with; being blown into pieces was something she wouldn’t.

Maria wrapped her wings around Natasha, cocooning the woman and protecting her from the fire that Maria felt melting her skin before throwing them both through a glass window. The force of the explosion propelled them out the window, and the overwhelming pain from the burns and cuts from the glass overcame Maria’s mind. She couldn’t activate her wings; she couldn’t do anything but fall and brace for the impact.

Landing on top of a car from a two story building just added to the pain, and Maria could do nothing but let out pained moans. Her body was on fire, her skin was burnt and cut, and her bones were broken – and the pain was everywhere and all encompassing, regardless of the Aether making its way through her body.

“Maria.”

Maria let out a pained cry, at the feeling of her leg snapping back into place.

“Maria.”

The skins on her shoulders were bubbling, and Maria knew that the burns were slowly going away, but it was still so incredibly painful.

“Maria Hill! Look at me damn it!”

Maria’s eyes shot wide at Natasha’s panicked voice, and they instantly became sucked into the panicked green eyes bearing down on her. Maria opened her mouth to respond to the woman, but suddenly she reeled back with an unexpected bout of pain.

“Fuck me,” cried out Maria, closing her eyes as the Aether popped both her shoulders in place.

The pain subsided almost instantly, but it left a dull ache as the last of her injuries healed.

A throaty chuckle sounded above her and Maria opened her eyes again to see Natasha was still staring down at her with a playful look.

“Later gorgeous,” quipped Natasha, “we are still in the middle of something here.”

Maria let out a huff at the Natasha’s words before pushing herself up from the car, much to the assistance of Natasha.

“I’m holding you to that,” chuckled Maria dryly, before looking around them.

The city was looking worse and worse by the second.  The Chitauri were overrunning them, and regardless of the police and firefighter presence pulling the civilians into safety, the Chitauri still reigned down.

Maria grimaced at the sight – this battle seemed unwinnable.

* * *

Back on the helicarrier, Fury was enraged as he stared at the World Security Council.

“Director Fury, the council has made a decision.”

Fury let out a dry mocking chuckle, “I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”

A huff of anger at his clear disrespect sounded from the far right councilman.

“Director, you’re closer than any of our subs, you scramble that jet…”

Fury refused to hear any more of this as he stepped towards the door.

“That is the island of Manhattan, Councilman. Until I am certain that my team can’t hold it, I will not order a nuclear strike against a civilian population.”

“If we don’t hold them in the air, we lose everything.”

Fury shook his head at the man, before giving him one last passing glance before turning and walking out of the room.

“If I send that bird out, we already have.”

* * *

Unwinnable or not, Natasha and Maria continued battling. They fought and fought, never giving up – as did the rest of the Avengers.

Maria caught the sight of Tony literally flying through a Leviathan, blowing the creature up from the inside out. Tony flung out of the creature and across the city before crashing into the side of a building with a sickening crunch.  
  
The man wasn’t moving, and Maria gave a quick side glance to Natasha making sure she was okay before flying forward. Placing herself at Tony’s side, she shook his the armor covered body, hoping to jar the man back from unconsciousness. Thankfully, after a few seconds Tony was moving, and started groaning.

“That hurt.”

“Yes well, Jonah shouldn’t ever be considered a role model,” chided Maria, helping the man to his feet.

Once on his feet Tony moved around, clearly trying to get his bearings before turning to Maria.

“Well it worked, didn’t it?”

Maria gave him a huff, before looking out into the city.

“We are out of our element here. We don’t have the man power to stop them.”

_**“Hill! The Hulk is being overrun!”** _

Barton’s voice cried out in her coms and Maria looked to Tony and then Natasha who was across the road still engaged in battle.

Tony sensing her uncertainty flew towards Natasha, his voice ringing in her coms.

_**“I got her. Go.”** _

Maria didn’t respond, she knew, that he knew, she was thankful for stepping up. Activating her wings, Maria flew towards Barton’s reported location of Bruce.

Maria arrived at the location in a matter of seconds, but what she saw made her stop in place. The Hulk was on his hands and knees on top of a building as a hundred Chitauri chariots bore down on him with their weapons, forcing Bruce to the ground. The pained cries echoing up from him went straight the Maria’s heart.

Maria moved forward to help but suddenly she heard the voices in her coms all at once.

 _ **“Thor is down. I got him but we won’t last long,”**_ said Barton.

 _ **“Dr. Selvig hit his head and is back.  He put a failsafe into the portal**_ _ **but I can’t help him, Loki has me pinned. I repeat Loki has me pinned,”** _ rang out Steve.

And then Tony’s panic voice rang in her ears and the words that followed had her heart shattering.

_**“Fuck! Romanoff is down! She took a shot to the chest!  It’s bad! I am flying over Stark Tower with her but there are no medical teams in sight! Tell me what to do! Someone tell me what to do! Fuck! The chariots are here…someone tell me what to do…”** _

Tony's voice trailed off as an overwhelming ringing rang in her ears.  Each second seamed to last an eternity as Maria processed the words ringing in her ears and the destruction surrounding them. Her eyes rapidly searched the city as her heart beat painfully in her chest, at the sight of Tony rapidly diving through the city with Natasha in his arms. Her heart pounded in her chest as if at any seconds it was going to crack through a her ribs. It wanted out, almost as if it was upset she wasn’t moving to help the others and it was going to do it itself. Another gut pained roar echoed from the Hulk and Maria flinched at the sound. Her senses were on high alert. Every color was brighter and every noise was louder…

_**“Hill! Hill! Can you hear me?! The Security Council commandeered a jet off the hellicarrier. You have a nuclear missile heading straight for the city”** _

Maria jumped at the sound of her name being yelled, and the words that came after before reaching forward and activating her coms.

**_“How long?”_ **

_**“Three minutes, at best. I am sorry Hill.”** _

Maria shook her head, her mind rapidly searching for any answers yet finding none. All Maria could do is watch in silent horror as the people she had come to love and care for died, either by the Chitauri or the nuclear missile that was about to wipe them all out. They were all going to die – she had failed her team once more.

Another team under her command would die today.

She failed.

“You never failed us Cap,” rang a voice to her left, and Maria almost lost control over her Nightfall at the sight of Drew Garrison flying next to her in his own version of the Nightfall.

It was Drew, Maria knew it was Drew. From his ridiculously large muscles to his equally ridiculous long auburn beard that the man refused to shave, regardless of the desert heat - this man was Drew Garrison, well except this Drew was transparent looking, almost ghostly.

“Drew…”

“You never lost faith in us, not even in the very end. Don’t lose faith now.”

Maria’s eyes filled with tears at his words, before she shook her head trying to clear away the obvious PTSD attack she was having. She opened her eyes expecting Drew to be gone, but when she opened them again Drew was still there, and at his back was Warren Braddock, Connor Ward, and Anthony Mathious, all flying with their Nightfall's in their standard military gear.

Maria let out a choked sob at the sight.

“How…what…”

“You called us.  Well, the Aether called us,” answered Connor Ward, giving her that sheepish boyish smile.

Maria’s eyes shot wide his words, looking down at her hands before back up at her team.

“This is a shit show, Cap,” called out Mathious laughing at his ability to always work in the Black Angels "famous line".  

Braddock rolled his eyes at Mathious side, and before playfully slapping the man in the arm before turning to Maria.

“We didn’t die for our country, just to watch it be destroyed by a bunch of aliens from another world, Cap. We are here to help…” Braddock paused giving her a timid reassuring smile, a rarity on the usually stoic mans face before nodding with his head to something behind her.

Maria turned, and her eyes shot wide at the sight.

Men and woman dressed in standard military gear were marching down the streets of Manhatan, the same translucency to their skin as the men at her side.  It was an entire army...of ghosts...

“Terrance Dorsey, Captain – 458624, Emily Porter, Lance Corporal – 2487632, John Forstman, Captain – 165…”

“…3422,” finished Maria her voice barley above a whisper, her eyes going over the men and woman marching through the streets.

“All eight hundred and sixty eight of us,” said Braddock coming to her side pulling her gaze away from her fellow brother and sisters in arms, back to him.

“We have been with you since the beginning. You never forgot us, no matter how hard it got or how painful we were to hold on to – you never abandoned us.”

Braddock brought his gaze away from Maria to stare out to the soldiers below them. All of them were now standing in place staring up at Maria and her team.

“But the thing is, we never left you either, Cap.  We have always been there, by your side, waiting for your call - waiting to protect you the way you have protected us through these years.”

It takes a second or two for the new information to sink in, but when it does Maria felt warmth spread through her body, like someone just took a spark of wonder and poured kerosene on it.

Braddock smiled, a true smile, almost as if he knew what was going on inside her before nodding.

“Give the order Cap.”

Braddock's words gave her strength, and Maria felt it filter through her body, coiling around her heart for a few moments before bursting forth from her lips.

“I want the triplets in the sky, take out every enemy aircraft,” ordered Maria, almost smiling at the way Braddock rolled his eyes at being part of the “triplets,” but nodding, as he Mathious and Ward took off engaging the Chitauri chariots. Much to Maria’s relief she saw that while the men could actually engage the aliens in a fight, the Chitauri’s shots seemed to go right through them.

“Garrison,” called out Maria, watching as the man immediately flew towards her. “I want you on the ground. They need a leader down there and it can’t be me.”

Garrison eyed her in confusion for a few moments before speaking.

“What are you going to do Cap?”

Maria looked up, enhancing her glasses across the lake to land on what she knew was flying at top speeds right towards the city.

“I have a missile to take care of.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ya, that happened! Maria has the power to summon the dead (kind of like ghost rider and the scene in Lord Of the Rings: Return of the King.) The Aether is a infinity stone - my belief it is the Reality Stone. If this is true then Maria has the ability alter reality to what she wants or break the laws of reality and logic s, as well as the laws of physics. This does include the power o resurrect the dead, distort reality around someone so it is incomprehensible, or other things that would normally be impossible. More powerful uses allow one to create any type of alternate reality one wishes
> 
> Hopefully you guys have all kept up with this, and I am not overwhelming you with this power or my play on the Aether being an infinity stone!
> 
> I can't wait to hear what you guys think! Well, I better go because my brother set up the Settler of Catan board like an hour ago and is pissed I haven't came downstairs to play yet lol


	21. This is a Public Service Announcement

Ok guys! I have some bad news…and some good news!

I’m going to start with the bad news. This story will not be finished and will be taken down in the coming week. So if you love it, download it, copy and paste it, do what you need to do, because it will be gone. I don’t know how many times I wished a fanfiction writer would give the readers a warning before taking down stories. Some of my favorite stories I have ever read were taken down unexpectedly, and alas…they must live on only in my memory.

So just to reiterate, this story will be taken down in 7 days. I repeat 7 DAYS!

Also, I am sorry I never finished this story. Trust me, the reason I never finished and the reason this is being taken down is the good news…I hope.

On to the good news! So between my two main stories on this platform, Confessions of an Angel and The Guardians, I got insanely inspired…and as a result...

*suspenseful drum tapping*

I WROTE A BOOK!

As most of you know, I haven’t updated any of these stories in a while, much to most of your frustration—but this was because I have been working diligently on my book. Which leads me to why I am forced to take these stories down—these stories have greatly influenced my book. I have tried to mold the two stories into one awesome-ass book. Which I think I accomplished, but who knows, we will see!

The book is called The Seven, and it is written by me, Courtney Praski. If you guys are interested in reading it, it can be purchased on Amazon, and there is a Kindle Version. Both versions are hard to find on Amazon, as they were just made available today and the cover art is even on there since there is an 8-hour delay. So—if you just plug in my name (Courtney Praski) it should take your right to both versions.

I am also working on with Kobo and Nook as well to get those platforms out. Also, I created a Tumblr account for the book. So if you guys read it, have questions about it, or just want to reach out to me, I can be reached on there @ thesevenbookseries.tumblr.com. Keep in mind, the book is really new (like just made available today new) and the Tumblr page is equally new so there may be only a few posts there.

If you guys do read the book, please review it. I have only had a few trusted friends read it so far, and the feedback was positive, but I would like to hear from you as well! You guys have supported me so much in my writing career with my fanfiction, and it was because of all your comments that I felt confident enough to branch out into writing my own book. So really, this book is because of you, and I cannot thank you guys enough for your support over the years.

Ok, that’s it—this is my farewell. I most likely will not be posting any more fanfiction for a while. Once again, thank you guys so much for your support over the years, and I wish you all only the best in life!

Thank you!

 

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think!


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